


Flatland

by letjusticeprevail



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Powers, Angelic Grace, BAMF Castiel, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Kid Fic, M/M, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-20 02:06:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 92,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letjusticeprevail/pseuds/letjusticeprevail
Summary: After resolving the family feud to end all family feuds-- Chuck and Amara-- Dean decides there ain't much else that the hunter can't handle. That is, until he and Cas are accidently transported to an alternate reality while on a hunt. Having been through Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, Dean's not really impressed, until the new reality gives him four reasons to be; four Nephilim kids. Specifically, He and Cas' kids. With the alternate Dean and Cas missing, Dean and Cas must help their new found kids find them, and somehow along the way, figure out how to return home and just what all this means for a certain hunter and his profound bond with an angel of the lord.





	1. We're not in Kansas anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So basically we are in Flatland? Fucking wonderful” Dean sighs, slapping his hand to his forehead. At Cas’ puzzled expression Dean continues, “Come on Cas, I thought you were privy to all things reference-ish now? Ever heard of Abbot? Famous little British dude?”. Cas is looking at him with an expression of surprise now. “What? I read!”
> 
> “I don’t doubt that, you are smarter than you want to admit at times”. At that Dean could feel his neck begin to heat up. “ And it’s Pop culture Dean, all things pop culture” Cas corrects with a smirk. The angel had become far more playful as of lately, Dean couldn’t help but feel himself grin back at the remark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jesus Cas! How about a little warning next time you zap us to the middle of nowhere!” Dean yells, as he struggles to regain control of his beating heart which currently seems to be valiantly trying to climb its way out of his throat. “Where in the hell are we anyway?” he exclaims, arms gesturing toward the open field. He pauses mid-way as he notices a small wooden house, with a garage nestled neatly between it, and the surrounding wheat fields.

“Dean!” Cas yells, pulling Dean’s attention away from the little garage and back to the angel. “I didn’t ‘zap’ us , as you say, anywhere. And I believe the question you should be asking rather, is when in the hell are we”, he corrects, brow furrowing.

“Okay then Doc Brown, care to explain?”, Dean asks, a hint of panic creeping into his tone.

“I believe the creature we were hunting may have been a lot stronger than you and I originally anticipated. “It’s hard to explain but it almost feels as if we are in the future, only something’s not right. It’s like we are in another dimension, an alternate reality”.

“So basically we are in Flatland? Fucking wonderful” Dean sighs, slapping his hand to his forehead. At Cas’ puzzled expression Dean continues, “Come on Cas, I thought you were privy to all things reference-ish now? Ever heard of Abbot? Famous little British dude?”. Cas is looking at him with an expression of surprise now. “What? I read!”

“I don’t doubt that, you are smarter than you want to admit at times”. At that Dean could feel his neck begin to heat up. “ And it’s Pop culture Dean, all things pop culture” Cas corrects with a smirk. The angel had become far more playful as of lately, Dean couldn’t help but feel himself grin back at the remark.

“Okay, this can’t be so bad right? Why don’t you just strap on your angel wings and just uh, mojo us outta here, and we’ll be home in time for dinner”, Dean says, clapping his hands together in anticipation. He immediately winces, regretting the words as soon as they leave his mouth. Noticing Cas’ grimace at the mention of his grace, Dean racks his brain for a possible change of subject. The matter of his weakened grace was still a sensitive topic for the angel.

“Dean it’s not that simple”. Shooting Dean an exasperated look, Cas continues. “This creature, it’s...old, far older than angels and it’s very strong. The amount of old magic I sense… it’s jus- I’m not strong enough anymore.

"Hey, Cas…Cas look at me, ” Dean says, breathing out in an attempt to calm his shaky nerves. When Cas continues to star at the ground, Dean steps closer, lowering his own eyes into Cas’s view, wiling the angel to make eye contact and follow him pack up to level. When Dean is happy with the result he continues. “It’s alright man, we will figure it out, we always have. We’re strong enough together dude”. Dean hadn't realized how close he was standing until he felt the soft ghosting of the angel’s breath on his mouth. Clearing his throat, he steps back. The sudden spacing seems to break Cas out of his own thoughts as well, and his face turns glum again, as he if he were once again contemplating their current predicament.

“Dean, until we find this creature and kill it, we’re trapped here” Cas says grimly.

“Yea, figured as much, Son of a bitch.” Dean growls out angrily, kicking the dirt in frustration.

He stops mid kick, eyes looking up at Cas in shock when he hears, a gruff, but much younger voice say the same thing at the same time as him. Although this voice seems more surprised than frustrated like Dean had sounded. The voice comes from behind them, towards the garage area that Dean had spotted earlier. He turns around slowly, mouth opening in shock at what he sees. There by the garage, sitting on a classic Harley Davidson, sits a young man, no older than 18 or 19. He has dark spikey hair and a light dusting of stubble across his well-structured jawline. His eyes, wide with shock, are a piercing sky blue, a color he had only previously associated with a certain celestial being, and his cheeks are decorated in a smattering of freckles. But the eyes are not what causes Dean’s jaw to drop in awe, not by a long shot. It is what the kid is wearing, an old over-sized leather jacket, light brown and well worn, a jacket that Dean knows all too well and had long since thought he’d seen the last of. _Dad_ , Dean thinks to himself.

“Who the fuck are you and what the hell are you doing with my dad’s jacket!” demands Dean, pointing an accusing finger at the young man.

The kid seems to be taken aback for a minute before shutting his mouth with a click and resetting himself. He lets out a long disbelieving whistle.

“Talk about Ironic”, he says, eyes shining bright and a shit eating grin hanging sloppily on his face. “We’ve been looking for you guys for months and yet here you are, right at our door step…only you’re not exactly you…are you guys?’ he asks, furrowing is brow and tilting his head quizzically to the side, _Another familiar gesture_  , Dean thinks.

"What the hell are you talking about kid, someone better start giving me answers, or so help me…” Dean growls.

“Alright, take it easy there tough guy” the kid says, tone smug and teasing. “There’s no easy way to come out and say this, so I’ll just say it I guess. My name is Cassius Winchester, you guys call me Cassie mostly, sometimes Cass” he says, throwing a wink in the angel’s direction. “And…you guys are my parents”.

Dean once again finds his jaw dropping for the second time that day. “Your…uh, your…look kid I don’t know what crazy train you been riding but, Cas and I, we don’t…we haven’t exactly-” Dean hesitates, scrubbing a hand over his face and resetting his stance, he continues. “We’re” he says gesturing frantically between Cas and himself, “nobody’s parents, I mean come on! He’s a dude. Cas, man…come on a little help here!” Dean pleads.

Truth is, Dean and Cas haven't exactly given a name to this thing that seems to be growing between them since the angel first walked into that barn more than seven years ago. Since then, they’ve been through so much—heaven, hell and purgatory, literally— but as much as a part of Dean wants to throw caution to the wind and finally see just exactly how deep this “thing” between them runs, another part is downright terrified of that depth. But if Dean is completely honest with himself, which he never is, lately it has begun to feel as if he and Cas have crossed some imaginary barrier after the whole Amara-Chuck faceoff went down. Cas is more affectionate, almost as if he's afraid that Dean will up and disappear on another suicide mission. Dean finds himself not only allowing this newfound aspect of their relationship, but welcoming it. Motion to his right brings  out of his reverie.

Castiel steps forward, brow furrowing even further and head tilting to the left so that he mirrors what the kid had done earlier. He wants to believe Dean, but he can't, something familiar and yet strange pulls at his grace. It feels akin to the grace of one of his brethren only weaker, more primal, more…human. And that’s when it clicks.

“Dean”, Cas says turning back to the hunter. “He’s right. He is a Nephilim, half angel have human, and he…he is our son”, Cas finishes voice small with awe.

“Wha…that’s not… is that even possible, I mean how?”

“It’s not rocket science genius”. Cassius says smugly. “I was born out of a bonding between your soul and his grace…we all were”,

“But how, how is this possible”, Dean whispers, more to himself than aloud, but Cassius with his angelic senses picks it up easily.

“Come on Dad, do you really need me to spell it out for you, you’re a little old for the birds and the bees don’t you think”, Cassius quips. _You snarky son of a bitch_  ,Dean thinks, _maybe the kid was a Winchester after all._

“We all?” Dean wheezes out, cause the kid had said it, loud and clear. _” we all were”_ rings through Dean’s head repeatedly. “You said …we all?”

“Oh yea, I guess you might as well meet the other members of the Brady Bunch huh? Uh, try not to faint there, yeah?” Cassius says, eyeing his parents with a wary eye. “JOHN! MARIEL! GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE… OH AND UH, BRING SAMUEL TOO!” he yells toward the house next to him.

Two more figures appear in the doorway, a girl and a boy. The girl lookes about 16, all wide green eyes, red lips and pale skin. Her hair hangs long and dark around her oval face. She has something angelic about her that has more to do with more than just grace. She seems almost innocent, _naive_ one could almost say. _Cas_ , is the first thing to come to Dean’s mind. He chuckles to himself. _This one’s all Cas._ The boy standing to her right seems to be the same age, possibly a twin by the looks of it. While Cassius is almost a spitting image of Dean save for Cas’ hair and eye color, This one, “John” Dean remembers, true to his name is the spitting image of a young John Winchester himself, down to the green eyes pointed nose and structured chin. The only exception is Cas’ raven black hair, which all the others seem to also possess. The pair remain in the doorway, eyeing their parents with caution and a hint of awe.

“Guys”, Cassius says clearing his throat in attempt to ease the tension. “I uh… I found Dad and Pop”.

“Brother!” Mariel interjects, “If this is another one of your jokes, I do not find it amusing".  
_Oh yea, definitely all Ca_ s, Dean thinks to himself.

“These are not our parents, not the ones we know at least. I can feel it in my grace” Mary finishes.

"Way to go there Cassie, we’ve been searching for Dad and Pop for weeks now and you bring these two, assbutts back home instead” John says, gesturing toward Dean and Cas.

“Hey! I’m standing, right here!...right here” Dean says, dumbfounded. He may not be their parents from this dimension, but goddammit he is still their parents somehow and the hell if he is going to stand there and be insulted by a bunch of kids. Cas seems to agree, if his small frown is anything to go by.

“He’s right Johnny, and I didn’t bring them here, they just sorta showed up.” Cassius teases.

“IT’S JOHN! Johnny was a chubby 11 year old who liked to watch cartoons all day for fun. I’m not a kid anymore Cass.” John growls. Cassius sends a knowing smirk Dean’s way.

“Older brothers, you know how it is, we call the shots, and the younger brother shuts his cakehole” he says, winking at Dean.

“BY TWO FREAKING YEARS CASS!”, John exclaims.

“Awww don’t get your wings in a twist Johnny”, says a third unknown voice. The group turns to see a young boy, about 14, with wild dirty blond hair and soft green eyes. This one Dean notes, is a spitting image of Castiel, save for Dean's own dirty blond hair and green eyes.

“Oh, well I guess now the gangs all here, nice of you to join us Samantha!” Cassius says sarcastically.

“Ha ha, very funny Cassie”, Sam replies dryly. He walks up to his parents, hand outstretched. “Hi I’m Samuel” he says, puppy dog eyes looking up at Dean and Cas expectantly.

“Heya Sammy” Dean says smiling fondly at the kid. He knows it won't take long to grow a soft spot for this one. Damn kid is just like his Sammy, all nerdy and bright eyed goodness.

Dean takes a minute to take in the scene before him, he has kids, four half angel kids at that. It's overwhelming, yet part of him already feels something for these kids: pride, happiness even. He can't really explain it, but he has always wanted a family even if he was afraid to admit it to himself. Cassius, John, Mariel and Samuel. Their names alone hit a cord in Dean’s heart. John and Mariel especially. With the exception of the angelic- el at the end of his daughter’s name, Dean knows that the two middle children have been named after his parents. Despite everything, he smiles to himself.

“So” Cassius says breaking Dean out of his reverie. "Our real parents from this universe have been missing for 3 weeks now. I don’t make a habit outta asking for help but, there ain’t a snowball’s chance in hell of us finding them on our own at this point. Our angelic abilities and senses are nowhere near as attuned as yours Pop, and I’ll be damned if any of us are even half the hunter you are Dad. So I guess what I’m trying to say is…will you guys help us find them?“ Cassius says, shyly scratching the back of his neck.

It is the first break in the false bravado wall the kid has been putting up since Dean and Cas arrived, and Dean doesn't miss a beat. If the kid is anything like him, which from the looks of it, he is, then the fact that he couldn’t protect his family is eating him up inside. His cockiness and devil may care attitude are only a façade, if not to fool himself, than to at least keep his brothers and sister from worrying. Dean’s run that gamut, he knows this game all too well and he’s calling bullshit. Dean’s makes his choice.

"We will help you find your parents” Cas says, seemingly reading Dean's mind and simply beating him to the finish. He places a hand on Dean’s shoulder. A silent confirmation that he is on the same page. Dean turns to him, nodding firmly to let the angel know he agrees. That he’s _with_ him.

“Good”, says Sammy, stepping forward. “Then we have work to do”.


	2. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There are pictures everywhere. Of him and Cas standing side by side in front of the impala, other Dean-as he's taken to calling him- smiling bashfully down at the ground while Cas appears to be whispering something in his ear. Something about other Cas’ proximity seems almost too intimate, and Dean feels his face heat up at the possibilities of what is being whispered in his other self’s ear. The fact that they have apparently had four kids together, gives him a couple of good guesses. Looking back at the picture Dean focuses more on other Cas, with his affectionate eyes and soft smile, he looks so at peace there, so human. Something about that tears at Dean's heart. If he tries hard enough he can almost forget the haunted look the angel seems to carry more often than not these days, when the topic of his grace is brought up. "

Dean's head is still reeling by the time Cassius gets him set up inside "their parent's bedroom", as the kid so bluntly put it. Dean hadn't really cared at first but now, looking around the place, he feel as though he's intruding on someone else's life-which is weird to say in the least, because after all it is his _own_ life. There are pictures everywhere. Of him and Cas standing side by side in front of the impala, other Dean-as he's taken to calling him- smiling bashfully down at the ground while other Cas appears to be whispering something in his ear. Something about other Cas’ proximity seems almost too intimate, and Dean feels his face heat up at the possibilities of what might have been being whispered in his other self’s ear. The fact that they have apparently had four kids together, gives him a couple of good guesses.

Looking back at the picture Dean focuses more on other Cas, with his affectionate eyes and soft smile, he looks so at peace there, so human. Something about that tears at Dean's heart. If he tries hard enough he can almost forget the haunted look the angel seems to carry more often than not these days, when the topic of his grace is brought up. Cas is very much still an angel, but his grace has gone through the ringer a couple of times over these last couple of years and Dean has the feeling that Cas is a lot more human than he's letting on.

There are other pictures too, Dean notices. One of, what he assumes to be Cassius, hanging upside down from the monkey bars, blue eyes alight and blazing with the kind of energy only children seem to possess. Another is of Mariel, sitting quietly on a fishing dock next to dean, hands in her army green jacket while he fishes. Dean lingers on that one, recalling a similar setting where a certain angel had once come to him in a dream asking to talk. That was the first time Cas had truly begun to show Dean that maybe an angel could be different.

Green eyes wonder to another photo. This time it is a more recent photo of John sitting in the driver seat of the impala with Samuel in the back. The two are laughing as they watch other Dean teach Cas how to change a tire. They look older, he and Cas. Dean tries to guess how old, tries to get an idea of when all of this is supposed to happen for he and Cas, but it's hard to tell. Besides, Dean is way to caught up on the fact that Cas has aged at all. That strikes a pang of worry in his gut. In this moment, Dean wishes he could understand how exactly he and Cas got to this point. He's not as freaked out by these pictures as he could be, and he's not exactly sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. The thing is, other Dean looks so damn _happy_ and Dean's given up on finding "happy" a long time ago. Maybe even since before hell if he's honest with himself. Yet here he's faced with irrefutable proof that somewhere in some lifetime he's indeed happy, with a family and well...Cas. Dean's not even going to touch that last part with a ten foot pole. Maybe one day when he's good and done off a bottle of jack, but not today.

"Fucking alternate universes man," he mutters to himself, swiping a hand over his face and stepping back from the photo. It is then that he hears the tall tell fluttering of wings right before Cas appears, a panicked look in his eyes.

"Dean I need your assistance" he pleads. "There is a matter at hand that seems to be out of my particular... _Skill set_ " he raises his fingers in mock air quotes on the last words. Suddenly there's a huge crash, causing the bedroom to rumble.

"What the fuck was that?" Dean yells while glancing cautiously at the doors.

"That Dean, would be our children" Cas answers wearily. Placing a hand on Dean's shoulder he teleports them out to the front yard where Cassius is digging himself out of the side of the house. Covered in dust and brick remnants, he dusts himself off while throwing a cheeky smile Dean and Cas' way.

"Just in time for the party I see" he jokes.

"Jesus, what the hell is going on here?" Dean asks, a hint of panic creeping into his voice.

"It appears that Mariel and Cassius are experiencing a conflict" Cas helplessly tries to provide by way of explanation.

"Gee no kidding, but why the putting people through walls gig? I mean I get it siblings fight, trust me I do, but don't you think there's a bet-"  
Before Dean's able to finish his sentence Mariel swoops down- fucking jet black wings and all, and kicks Cassius square in the jaw, sending him tumbling back a few meters before he uses his hand to spring into an athletic black flip, landing gracefully on his feet.

"Look Mar, I'm not trying to hurt you. I know you're upset but you know what tapping into your grace does to you, to all of us. You need to calm down!" Cassius yells.  
Mariel seems to only grow more enraged at the comment. Eyes blazing an angelic green and wings arched high above her head. Predatory in their pose.

"Hurt me?" She mocks voice multiplied and unnatural. "With that poor excuse for grace you have inside you? If you can even call it that! It's your fault that our fathers are still missing. Your too weak to find them, you always have been and I am sick of having to carry this search!" Thunder crackles as Mariel extends her arm, palm out and fingers splayed wide, as she fires an intimidatingly large amount of grace toward Cassius. Out of instinct Dean moves to shield his eyes in the crook of his elbow, but finds that surprisingly the grace doesn’t even remotely sting his eyes. He makes note to ask Cas about that later.

"Fine have it your way" Cassius manages to grunt out before crouching low into a defensive stance, his own brown and white spotted wings materializing to create a shield of protection around his body. Mariel's grace collides with an epic sonic boom, sending a gust of wind and dust in all directions.

The residual grace bellows and warps around Cassius protected form as if there were an invisible force field protecting him. When the dust clears Dean spots Cassius, still alive but looking extremely drained. His own eyes glow an angelic blue but flicker as if lacking energy. He attempts a counter strike but his grace seems to fizzle out before it even has a chance to gather. Dean, helpless to do much else but gape---cause freaking wings-- attempts to regain some semblance of normality.

Turning toward Cas he grits out angrily "I though you said this required my skill set, what the fuck am I supposed to do in all this? Huh?"

"It hadn't escalated to this point at first. It was merely a sibling squabble and I thought you would be better equipped to handle that seeing as I've killed all my brothers who I disagreed with", Cas replies shrugging his shoulders in defeat.

"Well however the hell it may have started it needs to stop. Cassius is barely hanging in there and Mariel doesn't look like she plans on letting up anytime soon. End it Cas, now!"  
Nodding his head in affirmation Cas turns his attention to Mariel, who is still hovering about 25 feet in the air wings beating furiously and eyes blazing.

"Mariel!" Cas' angelic voice booms, multiplied with the host much like Mariel's had been. "You will end this, now".

"You are not my father! You’re a broken shell of the man he was. Your very grace is warped and damaged with self-doubt and guilt. You’re an embarrassment to the host. I should put you out of your misery!"

Closing his eyes, Dean prepares for another sonic boom or smite worthy blast of grace but it never comes. Instead when he opens his eyes, Cas is holding his hand up, eyes alight with grace as he creates a light barrier around Mary.

"I may not be your father" he bellows, but I am an angel of the lord, and more powerful than you could ever fathom child! I am older than the star dust in the skies and you would do well to never question my authority again". Squeezing his hand into a fist, a pulse of grace engulfs Mariel causing her to collapse in a heap of unconsciousness. Slowly and gently Cas lowers her body to the floor. She isn't in pain, or at least Dean thinks she's not, just asleep. Two more telltale signs of wings Signal the impending arrival of Sam and John. John emits a low surprised whistle

"Shit what'd we miss? Wait lemme guess, Mariel lost control again?" He asks

"What do you mean again"? Cas asks, as he walks over with Mariel cradled protectively in his arms.

"It's been happening more and more since you, well the other you, left. Mariel's always had the strongest connection to her angelic side and Cassius the weakest. You’re lucky to get him to de-materialize his wings on a good day. It takes a lot out of him, but Mariel, she's a different story. She has always been the most connected to the host. Me and Sammy are both kind of somewhere in between. Sometimes it gets too strong for Mar and she doesn't know how to control it. It consumes her, makes her say and do things she wouldn't really do, get all self-righteous and what not" John shrugs. "She's always been this way except pop" he says gesturing toward Cas, “used to be able to calm her down, teach her how to control it but..."

"It’s getting worse and worse now that he's gone" Sam finishes. "I'm worried that we'll lose her one day".

"Lose her? What do you mean, she'll die?!" Dean asks, worry creeping into his voice.

"Not right away", Cassius adds from where he is standing on shaky knees and breathing hard. "She'll be completely consumed. And when that happens all traces of her soul, what makes her human, will be burned out by her grace. She will become an empty shell of herself. We're not like Pop you see. That much grace would destroy us, mind and soul. It wouldn't be pretty. So we try to use as little of our grace as possible, only when it's necessary. We never pull out the big guns unless we absolutely have to"

"Shit" Dean expels on a sigh. Turning around, he takes sight of the damaged siding on the house from where Mariel had thrown Cassius and the crater that had resulted from her deflected grace blast. Dean couldn't help the overwhelming sense of worry he felt for these kids, especially Mariel. He knew what it was like to be in a situation where you had no control over your own body, and what you wanted to do with it. Hell, only a few years ago two of the bibles very own archangels tried to jump he and Sam's bones for their own apocalyptic agenda. This is definitely going to be something that he and Cas will have to be on the watch for from here on out if they wanted to get back to their own world and keep these kids alive for the time being.

"Okay, so no angel powers unless absolutely necessary?" Dean says clapping his hands together. "I think we can work with that".


	3. Love Is a Burning Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay then Samuel”, Cas says, genuine interest and a hint of pride coloring his tone. “Show us what you’ve found”. Dean can't help but grin fondly at Cas’ clear amusement. It sends a warm feeling through his stomach to see the angel be encouraging of the kid. Oh no, no no no no, Dean panics. This is bad. Feelings between he and Cas have always been a burning ring, literally –holy fire and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean finds Cas in Mariel’s room later that evening. He’s positioned outside the door ready to walk in when he thinks better on it and decides to wait. It’s not that he means to ease drop, really he doesn’t. Just ask Sammy, Dean’s always been the kind of guy who respected privacy even when Sam was 11 and going through the whole diary (It’s a journal Dean!) phase. Dean never read it no matter how tempting it was to read about geeky Amy from fifth grade math class. But something about the way Cas is sitting now—body positioned at the end of the bed, Mariel’s still-unconscious form tucked caringly into bed, legs pressing into the angel’s side—something about that shoots a pang of sadness through Dean’s heart. Dean can't help but think about how in this very moment, Cas really does look like a father, a guilty one albeit. Dean’s guessing this afternoon’s incident couldn’t have been easy on him. Subduing Mary like that must’ve hit some kind of chord. Cas may be an angel but that Alfie kid was right when he said that too much heart was always his problem. Hell, even Dean didn’t like it but it had to be done.

He’s suddenly bombarded with flashbacks of Cassius in the crater, barely hanging on after deflecting Mariel’s blast. Dean doesn’t even want to think about what the other option would have been had Cas not intervened. The sound of whispering breaks Dean out of his reverie. His eyes snap back to Cas, only now he appears to be talking to Mariel. From where Deans standing, eyes peering through the cracked opening of the door he is pretty sure she’s still asleep but Cas continues whispering all the same. Dean tries to make out what exactly it is he’s saying but all he gets is some distorted pieces of Enochian.

“Okada Ol… Olapireta Pi Bolap Turbs…Aziazor Par” Dean hears Cas’ voice shake slightly on the last words.

Thanks to seven plus years of being caught up in angel drama and the recent lessons Cas has been giving him, Dean is able to make out some of it. He catches what he thinks is ‘mercy’ or maybe 'forgive', then something about sunshine, then the words ‘like him’. The last bit is the only part Dean’s certain of. Dean checks back in through the door crack and sees that Cas has finished his “private moment”. Dean decides it’s as good a time as any to come in and ask Cas what he meant to before he decided to go and be a creeper.

But before he can even knock on the door, Cas says “come in Dean, I know your there”. Dean feels his entire face go red at having been caught but he manages to maintain some form of composure, fuck you very much, as he clears his throat and steps into the room.

“Hey, Cas” he says sheepishly,” I was just uh walking by and…”

“Dean, I’m still an angel you know”, Cas teases. “I sensed you the moment you started coming up the stairs”.

Busted. “Oh… well that explains the secret Enochian message then, didn’t want me to overhear huh?”, Dean teases back as he takes a seat next to his friend at the end of Mariel’s bed.

Cas turns to Dean, soft amusement painting his features. “It’s not a secret Dean, I’ll tell you what I said, but first… I’m curious. What were you able to make out?”

“Well something about Mercy, I think and then I’m pretty sure you said ‘like him’ on the last part”. Dean responds. At that, Cas’ own cheeks seem to take on a pink hue.

“Well you have been learning more quickly then I thought, perhaps I should suspend your lessons”, the threat is made lightheartedly but Dean can tell the angel hadn’t planned for him to understand the last bit.

“Hey, what can I say I had a pretty good teacher” then nudging Cas’ side encouragingly “Come on Cas, what did you say?” he whispers softly.

“You were close when you said ‘mercy’ the more appropriate translation is this case is ‘forgive’. I asked her to forgive me for taking action against her”, and then more softly almost as if not wanting Dean to hear “I said that hurting her felt like hurting you” he finished.

Cerulean eyes met green. So that’s what he had meant by ‘like him’; it finally clicks for Dean. He can actually see Cas’ face shift from the passive façade he’s been trying so hard to maintain to anguish. Dean knows  what it is he's thinking about. There were way too many times after all. All the times Cas had been made to hurt Dean, to betray him, to kill him, the whole Naomi stint; this was no different, perhaps somehow more intimate because Mariel was a living breathing part of both of them. In this moment Dean wanted to take that burden away from Cas. He didn’t deserve to have this on him too. Dean wanted the angel to smile again like he had when they’d been playfully teasing one another. He liked how often Cas would smile now when Dean worked especially hard to pull it out of him, it was its own kind of reward, enough to make Dean’s own spirits brighten.

If Dean could have his way, he would do what he really wanted, reach out and make Cas feel his forgiveness, with touch and lips and tongue. But he couldn’t, never could no matter how much he sometimes found himself wanting to in his braver moments. Fear and his own self-loathing kept him at bay. He wasn’t good enough for Cas, didn’t deserve that kind of devotion or the way Cas sometimes looked at him when he though Dean couldn’t see.

“Cas, look man, she’s okay. She’s a tough kid and you just put her to sleep, right? And as far as hurting me goes, that’s in the past man. You’ve gotta let that go. It will eat you up inside if you don’t. Your family, and we forgive those we— _love_ —care about. So get it through your feather brain, I forgive you. I need you… I need you to be with me on this okay? That means no more secret messages, no more shutting down or closing me out”. Placing his hand on Cas’ shoulder, Dean leans in closer, forehead resting on the angel’s. He knows that saying this might be something he will regret later, but despite his jackhammering heart something about being this close in proximity to Cas makes his head all fuzzy. “And for the record, seeing you hurting, hurts me too. More than you know”. At that Cas seems to relax into Dean entirely, breath ghosting sweetly over his lips.

“Dean, I…”

“Hey Pop, Dad!” Samuel yells barging in through the doorway. Dean and Cas abruptly break apart, each trying to put as much distance between them. “Oh man, sorry was I interrupting something?” Samuel says teasingly. Despite his heating face, Dean feels the need to defend what little honor he and Cas have left in lieu of being caught. _But caught doing what exactly?_ It’s not like they were kissing. Yet, Dean’s not entirely too sure what had actually been going on between he and Cas back there. It seems that they may have entered yet another crossroads in their relationship, but Dean's not entirely sure either of them know what direction to go towards and just what it all means. He just knows that having Cas close feels right, and frankly that doesn’t scare him as much as it should. God, here Dean is barely even making his way to first base and his future son from another dimension is somehow making him blush like a freakin virgin. Labeling this a crazy day is just _beyond_ an understatement.

“No! Just… what do you got kid?” Dean asks, gesturing towards what appeared to be a lore book in Samuel’s hands.

“Well I overheard you mentioning something about "flatland" when you first got here.

“We were like 50 feet away! How in the hell did you—“Dean shouts.

“Uhm, half angel remember, we hear insanely well. Not as well as Pop but more like blood hound well. Pretty cool huh?” Samuel asks proudly, blonde eyebrows shooting into his hairline.

“Yea real neat, what other pony tricks do you kids have going?” Dean asks, tone betraying his bemusement rather than the intend mark of annoyance.

“Wouldn’t you like to know”, Samuel says teasingly. “But where would all the fun be in that? Anyway, I ran up here because I think I found something in the lore that can better tell us how this flatland works and just what it might mean for the real Dad and Pop”, he finishes.

Dean can't help but think just how much the kid really is like his big nerdy Sasquatch of an uncle back home in Dean’s reality. Somehow despite eight hours having passed, it hasn't  gotten any easier for Dean to say that.

“Okay then Samuel”, Cas says, genuine interest and a hint of pride coloring his tone. “Show us what you have found”.

Dean can't  help but grin fondly at Cas’ clear amusement. It sends a warm feeling through his stomach to see the angel be encouraging of the kid. _Oh no, oh fuck no no no no_ , Dean thinks. This is bad. Feelings between he and Cas have always been a burning ring, literally –holy fire and all. Maybe the late great Johnny Cash was actually on to something when he wrote that song. Something about that quiet admittance earlier had purified and cleansed away the unsureness that had previously crowded his true feelings for Cas, in the way that only fire could, singeing new feelings clean and bringing them to the light. Regardless of his apprehensions, no matter how he tries to resist, in his heart, when it comes to Cas, Dean feels himself catching like wildfire. _Shit_


	4. As Time Goes By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There, I’ve got him”, He says.  
> Dean’s jumping in before he has a chance to even finish. “Is he safe?!” He asks a little higher pitched and anxious than he intended. He hadn’t really notice how worried he was for the kid until now.  
> “Dean you wouldn’t believe, He’s…”  
> “Cas what? He’s what?”—dead? hurt? kidnapped? —Dean’s mind is running ramped with the possibilities and he all but wants to strangle the angel if he doesn’t get an answer soon.  
> “He’s so bright Dean” Cas says eyes wide with awe. “Just like… just you”.

Within the first few minutes of standing in the study room, Dean notices quite a few things. One: that Cassius is not the studying type, if his soft snores and drool covered lore book are anything to go by. Dean’s actually on the fence about whether or not the kid’s still completely wiped after the angelic can of whoop ass Mariel opened up on him or just plain lazy. He smirks a little at the thought of Cassius being put in his place by his little sister. Let it never be said that Dean Winchester’s baby girl isn’t every bit the badass her fathers are. _Fathers_ —him and Cas, Cas and him—there’s a though Dean’s still not had a chance to digest completely, but he thinks he might be warming up to it. Two: that Samuel was not kidding about possibly having something on “Flatland” as Dean has taken to calling it. There are piles upon piles of lore books cracked open. Loose leaf paper with sporadic English and Enochian scribblings, in what Dean suspects is the kid’s handwriting, strewn all across the desk. The kid really is just like his uncle. And three: that John is nowhere to be found. Cas seems to notice this as well, or at least Dean suspects he does when he decides to ask Samuel about his brother’s whereabouts.

“Honestly, I’m not really too sure” Samuel says, shrugging his shoulders. “He’s been in a difficult position lately. With Cassius out looking for our real parents day and night, Johnny’s had to take on a lot of responsibility taking care of me and Mariel and, more importantly, making sure Mariel and Cassius don’t rip each other’s heads off”.

Dean winces at that, painful memories of having to mediate fight after fight between his Dad and Sam filling his head. Nothing was worse than those last few months leading up to Sam leaving for Stanford. It’s never fun to be in that position. The last thing anyone ever wants it to see two people they love, and two people who they know love each other, try and hurt one another in the worst ways just because they know how to do it best. No one can hurt you like family can sometimes. Hell, that could be his and Sam’s autobiography.

“I’m going to go look for him” Cas says, sending Dean a look of concern.

“How are you gonna do that? I know Flatland’s just a theory right now, but I don’t think your tracking mojo will work here dude” Dean says.

“Normally you would be correct Dean, I don’t think I could find a perfect stranger here in this realm like I could back in ours, but John’s not a perfect stranger. He’s my son and like the others he has a part of my grace within him. His connection to me is not unlike the bond I made with you when we connected in hell. I could find him anywhere” Cas finishes, a point of fondness and pride in his voice. Dean watches as the angel closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath and blowing it out.

“There, I’ve got him”, He says.

Dean’s jumping in before Cas has a chance to even finish. “Is he safe?!” He asks a little higher pitched and anxious than he intended. He hadn’t really notice how worried he was for the kid until now.

“Dean you wouldn’t believe, He’s…”

“Cas what? He’s what?”— _dead? hurt? kidnapped?_ —Dean’s mind is running ramped with the possibilities and he all but wants to strangle the angel if he doesn’t get an answer soon.

“He’s so bright Dean” Cas says eyes wide with awe. “Just like… just like you”. And with that the angel is gone on a flutter of wings leaving Dean to gape like an idiot at the now empty Cas shaped space. Dean can’t help but wonder what Cas might have meant by “bright”.

“Our souls” Samuel, seemingly able to mind read Dean’s mind—which God, Dean hopes he can’t actually mind read or things would get real awkward real fucking fast—says by way of explanation.

“Huh?” Dean offers stupidly. He thinks he can guess where the conversation is gonna go next, but anytime Cas mentions how ‘beautiful’ or whatever Dean’s soul is, the hunter is simultaneously hit with feelings of joy and disgust. The disgust is always aimed at himself, because everyone knows Dean’s a piece of shit and is way past the redemption Cas seems to see him worth of.

“Pop use to always tell us that when we were little. He would sing ‘you are my sunshine’ to us and at the end of the song, he would always tell us that our souls were just as bright as the sun and the most beautiful he had ever seen. ‘Just like daddy Dean’s’, he would say”.

The memory seems to remind Samuel just how much he misses his real parents. Dean can see the beginnings of tears starting to brim along his eyes. Because of his intellect and levelheaded demeanor Dean had almost forgotten that the kid was only fourteen. He was a child at the end of the day, and every child needs their parents. Dean’s a grown man now, but he’d do just about anything to have John and Mary back. Dean briefly contemplated whether or not to comfort him, it had only been a few hours since they met but he wanted, so badly, to stop those tears from falling. Deciding that the risk was worth it, he reaches out and pulls Samuel into a hug. The kid all but collapses into him, exhaustion and sadness making his small frame quake.

“It’s okay Sammy, shhh, it’s okay buddy”. Dean cooes as he rubs the teenagers back. We’re gonna find them okay. I promise. Hey, look at me Sammy” Dean says, lifting Samuel’s chin. “I give you my word”. Something about the sincerity in Dean’s voice or his word choice must hit home, because Samuel seems to instantly relax.

Wiping his tears Samuel nodded. “That’s what y… well, that’s what Dad always says and he’s never been wrong yet”. The unspoken 'you' does not escape Dean and he smiles at that. All his life he always relied on his word, and if he gave it he damn sure kept it. He is glad to hear that things have not changed in this reality.

“Okay kid, if you’re feeling up to it, maybe you can go ahead and show me what you’ve found, yea?”

“Yea”, Samuel says smiling and wiping his nose. “Let’s do it”.

Shuffling over to a blank piece of paper strewn haphazardly about, Samuel picks it up and begins to draw. Looking over the kids shoulder Dean can see the makings of what looks to be a circle. When Samuel pauses as if finished, Dean tries very hard to appear patient. And when Samuel makes no further effort to move or speak up Dean finally cracks.

“A circle?! That’s it? C’mon kid you gotta be kidding me, I though you said you had a way out of this place?!”.

“Actually what I said was that I had found something on how your so called Flatland works, and I did” Samuel corrects, throwing Dean what he guesses is the kid's sassiest bitch face. Sensing Dean’s continued confusion Samuel returns to the drawing of the circle. “Look, what do you understand about time Dad? I mean, Dean?”  
Dean had noticed the slip up earlier too when the kid came barging into he and Cas’ room, breaking up whatever they had going on. Dean’s beginning to think that wasn’t necessarily such a good thing. Part of him wishes he was able to see where things would have gone. Wanting to not make the moment awkward, Dean pretends that he didn’t notice the blunder.

Catching the hint, Samuel continues on. “Well, time is like a flat two-dimensional circle. In movies it’s always shown as this straight line, but really it’s more like an endless loop. At any given moment we are traveling at the speed of light, around and around, like this” Samuel raises his hand, twirling his index finger in a repeated circle for Dean to see. “It’s why angels are able to bend it as they please, they’re literal celestial beams of light and they can travel infinitely and any which way around the circle. It’s kind of like when Pop told me he took you and Uncle Sam back in time to see Grandma and Grandpa that one time. It took a lot out of him then because he was losing his grace and he had to somehow go fast enough to go with the flow I guess”.

Dean wonders just how much the kid actually knew about why he, Sam and Cas really had to go back in time that day, but he decides to save that for another time—no pun intended. He has enough on his plate for now.

“Okay, so how did we end up here then, in this alternate reality?” Dean asks

“Well that’s just the thing. I don’t think it’s an alternate reality at all. See the thing is, this is quite some time in the future for you guys, and I think the reason why Pop thought it was an alternate reality is because it’s much harder to anticipate what will happen rather than what has already occurred. So the future wouldn’t feel like the future exactly, even to an angel. Basically, the events that have led to this future have not occurred yet and are pretty much hanging in the balance. See a really powerful angel can jump to the future but it’s never certain, there isn’t always a guarantee that we will end up… here” Samuel finishes.

That last part had Dean suddenly remembering a much more menacing voice, and a pristine white suit. Sammy’s voice but not really him at all, just some evil son of a bitch wearing him. Lucifer's voice-- _Whatever you do, you will always end up... here. No matter what choices you make, whatever details you alter, we, will always end up... here._

But we didn’t end up here did we? Dean thinks triumphantly to himself. Sure, they’ve been through a lot the three of them, but they’ve always made it through. They’ve always chosen each other over fate, over the “future”. He and Cas have ripped up the script time and time again, and as ridiculous as it may sound, Dean will be damned if the space-time continuum is a match for he and his angel. _The_ angel, he and _the_ angel, dammit. Dean’s got to be careful with that.

“Nice work Sammy”. Dean says, affection high in his voice. He reaches out to high-five the kid and is met with great enthusiasm from Samuel who eagerly slaps his hand.  
The kid seemed to actually preen at the praise. Nerdy goodness practically oozing from his pores.

“The only thing is that Cas and I didn’t get here because we wanted a nice little detour vacation stop on the time continuum. Something pulled us here. We were on a hunt trying to catch some big bad and then suddenly we were here. You say it takes a lot of juice to jump forward in time like that right?” Dean asks.

“Yea, like an Archangel maybe?” Samuel says shrugging his shoulders helplessly.

Yea, but me and Cas dealt with that problem a long time ago, there aren’t really any of them left” Dean offers in reply. Staring out at Samuel, Dean desperately tries to rack his brain for possibilities.

“Maybe it wasn’t an angel at all, maybe it was a God”. Cassius' sudden chiming in from the corner of the room abruptly shocks Dean out of his thoughts. He hadn’t been aware that kid had finally woken up from his hibernation. “Think about it, you two show up just after our parents have only been missing for a few weeks. It can’t just be a coincidence. Pop is strong on his own, but put you in harm’s way Dean and he all but loses his mind” Dean feels himself flush at that. “There really isn’t much else that could take him without some serious juice in its tank".

“Okay, let’s just say I’m rolling with this idea for now okay? What God would be strong enough to manipulate time?” Dean asks, arms crossing defensively. From the smirk on Cassius’ face he has a feeling he isn't going to like the answer.

“Why, the Greek goddess of the eternal circle herself Dad. Aion”.


	5. In the Valley of the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Castiel remembers when he could reach up and touch those very stars, soar through stardust like it was nothing. He remembers whispering to the moon and holding planets in the palm of his hand. He remembers feeling the sun burn hot and wonderful, like the heat of his grace within. But now, he thinks, he has a new galaxy of his own; complete with a sun that does not know his own beauty yet and four young stars that burn like no other. Castiel is surprised by how badly he wants to know this new galaxy better, but right now one of his stars is flickering, hurting and its Castiel’s duty to find out why"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel could almost feel the after image of John’s soul burning in the back of his retinas. He’d always thought that Dean’s soul was the brightest and most beautiful he had ever seen. Since the day he first saw it, shining out defiantly against hell’s fire and brimstone he knew he was lost. When he first arrived to this “Flatland” as Dean’s taken to calling it, he hadn’t really noticed the other children’s souls. There was a time where he couldn’t really turn of his angelic senses. The day he first walked through that old abandon barn almost 8 years ago, he saw Dean and Bobby as both their physical and spiritual form. There was no separation. But now with his grace being in such a depleted state, and with having fallen once before, he’s come so close to human that he almost finds it more comfortable to look with his human eyes. It wasn’t until he had to summon his grace in the search for John that he was able to once again see just as he had before, and see he did.

John’s soul was a lot like Deans—strong, passionate, loving, but there was also a part of Castiel’s grace there that intensified its light. It burned beautifully, and in a way Castiel had never seen; flickering iridescently like oil stains in the sun. The thought reminded Castiel of the impala which in turn led to the inevitable thought of Dean, always back to Dean. Castiel decided a long time ago that he could never stay away from the hunter for too long, both in body and mind. Even when he had been away fighting on the front lines against Raphael’s forces, he often found himself thinking of Dean. Wondering if he was safe, if he was happy with Lisa. Castiel felt his stomach go sour at the thought of someone else giving Dean what Castiel was so desperately ready to give, then retracted when he realized he didn’t necessarily know what exactly it was that he wanted to give in the first place—safety, friendship…love. Rather than fight his feelings toward Dean, these days he accepted it. After all, Castiel had thought Dean lost to him for good after the confrontation with Amara and Chuck. He never wanted to feel that pain and loss again. He only wished that Dean would be ready to stop fighting too. Castiel understood that fighting was in Dean’s nature, especially against the things he felt he didn’t deserve.

He and his brother were so alike in that way. As a solider himself, Castiel more than understood that inability to stop battling when every instinct was telling you otherwise, but there are some battles he just doesn’t want to fight anymore. Some scars that have cut too deep for both he and Dean. He wonders what it would be like if they just didn’t fight anymore. He thought that what had happened between them, upstairs in Mariel’s room, would have been enough to, at the very least, show Dean that he was ready to finally figure out what this bond meant. Castiel would be lying if he didn’t admit that he was just as afraid as the hunter, but he learned a long time ago that fear is just a part of humanity and sometimes the only way around fear is through it. He hoped that Dean wasn’t angry with him for leaving so abruptly, although Castiel suspects he’s probably use to it. He makes a mental note to apologize to Dean about that later. A sharp tug at his grace abruptly pulls him from his thoughts. John is near, and at the sudden realization he takes a moment to look at his surroundings. He appears to be in a desert of some sort. Using his grace, Castiel makes quick work of mentally tracing the globe and pinpointing his location. Before he can give voice to it John’s own voice cuts in.

“Wadi Rum, or the valley of the moon as the locals call it” John tells him in Arabic. He is standing with his back to Castiel, hands in his pockets, neck craned upwards and eyes on the stars.

They are beautiful tonight Castiel thinks. Parts of the Milky Way bursting through hazy pink star dust, an endless sea of stars glittering like diamonds. Castiel remembers when he could reach up and touch those very stars, soar through stardust like it was nothing. He remembers whispering to the moon and holding planets in the palm of his hand. He remembers feeling the sun burn hot and wonderful, like the heat of his grace within. But now, he thinks, he has a new galaxy of his own; complete with a sun that does not know his own beauty yet and four young stars that burn like no other. Castiel is surprised by how badly he wants to know this new galaxy better, but right now one of his stars is flickering, hurting and it's Castiel’s duty to find out why.

“Why did you run John?” Castiel asks him.

He’s not sure why John chose the country of Jordan as his place of hiding, nor why he is choosing to speak in Arabic, but it is not of any difficulty for him. All languages are native to an angel. He decides that, for the sake of not upsetting John any further, he will continue the conversation is this Semitic tongue.  
John continues to stare out into the pitch blackness of the desert, curling his toes deeper into the sand.

“This was the first place I landed when you taught me how to fly. I was young, maybe around 10 or 11. I had just learned how to use my grace to dematerialize my wings. Before that you and Dad had to keep us kind of hidden. Couldn’t have kids walking around in public with wings now could we” John chuckled. “Anyway, it was the first time I was finally able to use my grace. You and Dad were so proud of me. Dad decided that it would be a good idea to test out some other things, so long as you watched over me of course. That’s what I loved about Dad best. He never tried to make us be less of what we were. He was always encouraging us to accept both parts of what made us ‘special’ as he liked to call it”.

Castiel didn’t miss the deliberate use of the past tense _was_. He had a feeling that John’s disappearance had much to do with his new found responsibilities in the family, but now he wondered if John truly though his parent’s to be gone permanently—dead. His chest hurt at the thought of what John might be feeling. He wanted so badly to jump in and convince his son that it would be okay, but John was a young man, at least 16, Castiel guessed, he needed to be heard, not given false promises. He decided patience was the best way to go about this.

“You told me that you wanted to teach me how to fly. The first few times I didn’t go far, maybe a couple of feet. I remember I felt so bad for not being able to fly like you could, across oceans and countries. I started to cry, and I remember I suddenly felt this rush of grace within me. It felt like my own but it was so much more, amplified somehow. I didn’t know it at the time, but you were connecting with me and using a part of your grace to fuel mine. You put your hand on my shoulder and told me to try again, to think as far as my mind would allow. You squeezed my shoulder and you told me that there would never be a time where you wouldn’t be by my side when I needed you most. You told me you believed in me. God I felt so…just so full that day, I felt like I could go anywhere, and we did. We landed right here, I never forgot it. I never will”. John finishes somberly. The sharp smell of salt tells Castiel that he is crying.

“John”, Castiel tries. John turns his head slightly but remains silent, refusing to face the angel fully. Racking his brain for another approach, a faint but familiar thought snags through his grace. It was just a wisp of a feeling, a memory that he should not have but nonetheless still felt. A name. Castiel suspects that is a fragment of a memory echo from the many times his other self and John have come to this place. He decides to act on the strange desire.

“Ioaniel, look at me please” Castiel pleads, liking the way the name somehow feels familiar on his tongue. The name seems to work, causing John to startle and turn to Castiel abruptly.

“How did you know… only Pop has ever called me that. He had given Samuel and Mariel their angelic names, and Dad had been adamant about naming me John; but Pop only ever called me Ioaniel when we were alone. It was the angelic name for John. It was our secret”. John says releasing a small chuckle and wiping the dampness from his cheeks. “God, I miss him so much. Both of them. I’m trying to be strong like Cassius, but I’m not him. He’s my big brother and as much as I want to help, I’m not use to this like he is. Jesus, I don’t envy him for a second, not a goddamn second. I don’t know how he’s been able to hold even half the weight of what he’s bearing on his shoulders. Each time he and Mariel fight it gets uglier and uglier. My connection to my grace is strong enough that I’m usually able to break things up before they get out of hand between those two, but this last time it was just so bad. I was almost relived to have come back when it was already over because I just knew I wouldn’t have been able to stop her. I could feel the overwhelming amount of grace simmering in the air. Jesus, I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there to intervene like you did. I’m afraid they are gonna kill each other one day, and we’re all that we have left. I can’t lose anyone else. Pop would have known what to do, but he’s not here and he’s never coming back”, he spit angrily.

Castiel could see that despite his anger, John’s soul show brightly with  an overwhelming amount of cleverly masked hurt. He had a feeling he understood what was really troubling John.

“You’re worried that your parent’s won’t come back and that you’ll be left to these responsibilities forever. That you might not be able to be what your older brother needs you to be right now.” Castiel states simply. John’s silence is all the confirmation he needs. “Ioaniel” Castiel starts, switching from Arabic to Enochian. “I know I am not him, but I know that there has never been a promise made that I did not intend to keep. No matter what dimension, or reality, no matter what version of me you know, this will always be true. If I promised not to leave you alone, it is because I will always find my way back to you. But here, right now, this version of me is promising you that I will not leave you alone to these responsibilities until your parents are safety returned to you”.

Dean had always teased Castiel about his “weird soul piercing stare” as he liked to call it. Yet, Castiel hopes that, now more than ever, he is able to convey how sincere he feels to John. John searches his eyes a little longer, looking for a crack or fault in his genuineness. When he finds none, he lets out a visible full body sigh.

Nodding more to himself than Castiel he says, “Okay, Okay…yeah. My Pop is coming back for me. He always has".

Castiel couldn’t help but ponder the significance of that statement. He supposes that in a way, he has come back. Perhaps he is not the Castiel John knows, but here he is nonetheless, coming back for his boy.

Above, the Milky Way continues to glisten, and two tell-tale sounds of wings leave the desert to its peaceful inky abyss, in search of home.


	6. Immortals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What , you gonna kiss my hand now and tell me you saw that on a nickelodeon and always wanted to try it or something?” Dean teases. His cheeks instantly go red at the realization of what he’s just said. Not only did he just quote titanic--the chick flick to end all chick flicks-- but he voiced it, aloud, to Cas of all people. Dean’s never wanted to bury himself alive more than he does in this one moment. Luckily Cas’ senses his embarrassment and, being the angel that he is, decides to spare him. He lets Dean of with a valiantly disguised smirk, though Dean can’t help but feel that he’s still being teased by some weird Cas standard.

 

“Pop and John are on their way back” Cassius says nonchalantly, as his scrolls through Greek and roman lore about Aion on his laptop.  
Dean has all of about 3 seconds to register just what Cassius is saying before John and Cas pop into the space on his left side. After calming his pounding heart, because hey thanks for the warning assholes, Dean notices that there is a certain air about them that he can’t quite place. John pats Cas on the shoulder as he heads for the kitchen, a content smile on both their faces. They seem more relaxed, more comfortable around each other. Dean suspects that something went down between John and Cas while they were gone and although he’s damn curious, he also respects that not every aspect of Cas’ life has to be shared with him. This was something between Cas and his, well...their son. Dean can respect that. He, doesn’t, however, miss the ‘We are so talking about this later’ big brother look Cassius throws John’s way as he passes by.

 

“Had a nice trip?”, Dean asks sarcastically, cause while he is understanding he’s also a snarky piece of shit and he can’t help busting Cas’s chops every once and a while.

 

“I did actually, thank you for asking. The stars were quite pleasant this time of year.” Cas makes a face and rolls his eyes, but Dean knows better than to take it as anything more than playful banter.

  
“Cas it’s a full moon, there aren’t any stars out” Dean fires back

  
“Well, I suppose that would depend on what hemisphere you were in, now wouldn’t it?” Cas replies, voice lowering in mock challenge.

  
“Hemisphere? Where did you guys--”

  
“Okay, jeez you would think you guys were a bickering married couple!” Cassius interjects sarcastically. “Now that the partridge family is back under one roof, we need to talk. Samuel here may have found something big about Dad and Pop’s disappearance, and just how we got stuck with these two over here”.

 

Taking a deep breath, Cassius wipes his brow, rubbing his neck and shoulder muscles, face screwed slightly in pain. Dean has noticed him doing that a lot throughout the day. And upon closer inspection he notices that the kids looks absolutely beat, eyes lined with dark shadows.

  
“Hey are you good kid?” Dean asks, concern lacing his voice.

  
Cassius’ head snaps up at that, embarrassment tinting his cheeks and neck pink as he tries to find an a reasonable lie to toss Dean’s way  
“Fine, Just a little tired is all”, he mumbles by way of explanation.

  
“Bullshit, you’ve been rubbing at your back all damn day, what’s up?”. Dean knows pain when he see’s it. He’s seen it on his own face enough times to know, and watching Cassius isn’t really all that different. Looking at Cassius’ is almost like looking in a mirror. It’s freaking eerie how much he and Dean look alike. Down to the freckled sloped nose, pointed ears and long eyelashes. Dean wouldn't normally be this pushy about the kids business, but seeing the kid in pain just does something to him. Makes him want to end it as fast as humanly, or angelically, possible.

 

“Samuel, what’s wrong with your brother?” Dean asks impatiently.

  
Cassius, glares daggers at the kid, angrily growling something in enochian. In response Samuel’s eyes widen. He can’t help but chuckle to himself at that. He doesn’t even need to know Enochian to know that Cassius most likely said something along the lines of ‘I’ll cream you if you snitch’ or whatever the hell the angelic equivalent of that is.

 

Cas pretty much confirms Dean’s suspicions a few moments later when he says“You will do no such thing to your younger brother Cassius, do not threaten him again” in an admonishing tone. “Now ‘spill’ as Dean would say”, he throws up his hands in mock air quotes around the word spill.

 

Looking back and forth between Dean and Cas, Samuel finally slumps his shoulders in defeat. “He needs to let em out” he says more to his feet than to his his parents.

 

“Let what out what ?” Dean asks, He’s trying to be patient but the kid’s not really making any sense.

 

Samuel looks at Cassius, apologetically. Cassius looks away pointedly at the floor. Expression more dejected than angry.

 

“ Remember what Johnny said about Cassie’s grace?” Samuel asks. He doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “Well, it takes a decent amount of our grace to conceal our wings. It’s why it took us all a few years to learn how to dematerialize them. Mariel figured it out when she was only 5. Both Johnny and I had our grace fully manifest around 10 and 11, but Cassius couldn't really get the hang of it until he was 16. He had to be home schooled most of his life because of that. Even now he still struggles, and when he’s pushing himself too much, holds his wings too long, it starts to hurt. Usually he would have let them out by now, I guess he’s not really comfortable with you guys yet”.

 

“Cassius, look man, there’s nothing to be ashamed about. You’ve been working hard all day and you deserve a break. Why not relax a bit and take a load off. You know what? Why don't we all”, Dean says gesturing around the room at Samuel and John, “Take a load off. You guys shouldn't be using your grace more than you need to anyway right? No sense in Cassius being the only one. So get to it”. Dean finishes.

 

He hopes what he’s trying to do will work. He doesn’t want Cassius to feel singled out and he hopes that the other kids will catch the hint. A few moments go by where nothing happens and Dean starts to doubt that his little plan had any affect at all. Then Dean feels more than sees a change in the atmosphere and the soft rustling of wings to his right. He turns to see none other than Cas, standing proudly with huge jet black wings arching out of his back. Each wing has got to be at least 12-15 feet in length. Dean can’t help but gape. While he is thankful that Cas took the initiative to make the others feel comfortable, Dean has never seen his wings before and God are they gorgeous. From this angle he can see that the light casts an iridescent hue of blues, greens and magentas off each feather leading down to tips that appear almost silvery. He’s always been curious if there was any actual truth to the whole wings gig, but he never asked to see them because he kinda just assumed they’d scorch his eyes out or something , which reminds him that he’s still got to ask Cas about why he’s suddenly able to see grace and wings and not end up like Pam.

 

Letting out a pleased sigh, Cas rolls his shoulder blades and says, “ I have almost forgotten what this feels like” then ever so innocently, “Cassius won’t you please join me?”.

 

Cas is laying on what has got to be his best baby blues-- Dean would know, he’s been on the receiving end of them too many times to count--, and after a few seconds Cassius finally relents, letting out a sigh of his own as his brown spotted wings come to life. The relief on his face is instantaneous, albeit a little self conscious. It isn't until Samuel and John each let out their own tan and white wings that Cassius seems to fully relax. Now completely surrounded by winged individuals, Dean can’t help but feel like he’s on the set of some weird sci-fi movie. You would think that after a lifetime of supernatural crap he would be pretty use to the unusual, but this is a whole nother ball park of weird. Still Dean has to admit that he is intrigued a little-- okay alot-- by Cas’ wings. And if John catches him staring at said wings on more than one occasion well, then that’s just bad timing is what that is.

 

“Alright well you birds just make yourself comfortable in the nest here while I go upstairs and wake your sister. I want everyone to be front and center for this”. Dean doesn't miss Cas’ exasperated sigh as he bounds the stairs 2 at a time to Mariel’s bedroom. She’s still sound asleep when Dean enters her room. She looks so small in her bed and something about that image does things to his heart. He leans down and gently attempts to shake her awake.

 

“Mariel, rise and shine kid. It’s time to get up now “ he coos.  
“Daddy?” Mariel groans, eyes blinking rapidly to try and remove all traces of sleep. She looks relaxed, almost content, until her vision clears, face suddenly scrunching up with hurt.

 

“Oh it’s, just you Dean” she grunts. Dean tries to not let the hurt show on his face. What exactly did he expect, he’s not her dad, he knows this, but still something about her cold disregard makes his chest feel a little tighter.

 

“Yea, uh it’s just me. Your brothers managed to find something on flatland and they think they might know why your parents disappeared” Dean offers hopefully, but before he can go any further Mariel interject coldly.

 

“Taken” she corrects  
“Wha--”  
“Taken. You said disappeared. They didn't disappear they were taken. Against their will. Saying ‘disappear’ implies they had a choice. They didn’t” She finishes coldly.

 

“Look Mariel, I didn’t mean to upse--” Dean tries to offer by way of apology.  
“No, I suppose you didn’t” and with that she’s gone. Leaving Dean to gaze stupidly at an empty space, the sound of fluttering wings lingering in the aftermath. Well, Dean thinks, no one can say she isn't Cas’ daughter. Just like the damn angel.

 

Letting out a drawn out sigh, Dean musters what little remains of his shredded ego and heads back downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas is waiting for him at the base of the staircase. Dean can’t help but think about how this almost feels like a scene out of titanic.

 

“What , you gonna kiss my hand now and tell me you saw that on a nickelodeon and always wanted to try it or something?” Dean teases. His cheeks instantly go red at the realization of what he’s just said. Not only did he just quote titanic--the chick flick to end all chick flicks-- but he voiced it, aloud, to Cas of all people. Dean’s never wanted to bury himself alive more than he does in this one moment. Luckily Cas’ senses his embarrassment and, being the angel that he is, decides to spare him. He lets Dean of with a valiantly disguised smirk, though Dean can’t help but feel that he’s still being teased by some weird Cas standard.

 

Clearing her voice, Mariel cuts straight to business. “Okay brothers, this better be good. What took our parents?”.

 

“Well it’s really just a working theory” Samuel says, scratching his head nervously. While i was explaining time travel to Dean. we got around to wondering what could be strong enough to take Dad and Pop against their will. I mean those two have always been a force to reckon with when they're together, you know ?”. All four kids nod their heads in agreement, not missing a heartbeat. Dean ponders on that statement a little longer. He’s always known that he and Cas have made a habit out of ripping up the rule book as they go along, but he’s never really given thought to how apparent that was to others, how well known it was. “Well, we got to talking and it occurred to me that maybe this isn't exactly an alternate reality like you originally thought Pop. See, whatever events that need to happen to lead us here may not have occurred yet, and so this future isn’t set. That’s why you couldn't really place your finger on why it felt so strange to you. It would take a really powerful archangel to generate a future that hasn’t been set into motion yet. When Zachariah did that to you guys before, it was because the future he showed was not real. It was made up for an agenda, to get you and uncle Sammy to give in to their will, but even then it wouldn't have been sustainable. Even if Pop  hadn’t come to your rescue, the fabricated future would have eventually closed in on itself. Now, this right here? This is 100% sustained future. While it is not fully guaranteed, there is a genuinely high chance that many of the main components will actually happen. That takes an incredible amount of juice, God-like if you will” Samuel finishes.

 

“You think that God had something to do with this?” Cas questions, brow furrowing.

  
“Not God” Cassius cuts in. “A God. Aion to be specific”.

  
“Samuel, Cassius, that is an excellent theory, but why would the Greek goddess of time want to kidnap Dean and Myself...well the other Dean and Myself” Cas asks. “I’m not much use to anyone now. I’m half the angel I was”.

 

“ You weren’t here” Mariel offers. “You were a Dominion actually, three steps above an archangel. There existed no other that could match you. But now…” Mariel trailed off.

 

Cas seemed to perk up at that. Genuine astonishment coating his features.“But..but Joshua was a dominion. How could I have gotten so powerful?, It’s simply not--”

 

“Okay Cas hold the phone right there”. Dean interjects. He’s had just about enough of Cas thinking that his only worth on this planet is linked directly to his grace. “First off, you’ve always been important Cas, even when you were fully human, so let's squash that train of thought before it even leaves the station. And secondly, you're family. Got it? And the sooner you get that through your thick angel skull, the happier I’ll be!”

 

“Dean, that means… Thank you”, Cas says.

  
“Yeah, well don’t mention it” Dean replies, aiming for nonchalant but blush betraying him.

 

“Well, now that that’s settled, to answer your question Pop, we actually aren’t too sure what she would want, or if it’s even really her. But we won’t know unless we summon her and find out.

 

“Fine” Mariel says rushing forward. Her own jet black wings snapping out in a burst of grace fueled fury. “I’ll summon her right now! She’ll regret the day she ever messed with the Winchesters”.

  
Pride blooms in Dean’s chest at that. He hadn't even stopped to consider that the family would carry the name Winchester. That Cas would take the name. Hearing it caused something hot and possessive to form low in Dean’s gut.

 

“Just a second there Mar”, Cassius says stepping in front of Mariel.

 

“Get out of my way Cassie, or do you want to go for round 2?” Mariel threatens.

 

“While that sounds about as fun as watching paint dry, I’ll have to just ask you to hear me out on this one, okay? Trust me, nothing would please me more than to make the bitch talk, but this is a God we are talking about. None of us have ever faced something so strong, and we gotta proceed smartly here, yea?” Cassius asks.

 

Letting out a defeated sigh, Mariel nods her head in agreement.

 

“Besides”, John chimes in “it says here that we need to find a couple of things to set up a shrine for her to be summoned".

 

“Lemme see the list” Cas asks impatiently. ‘Okay I can get all these things relatively quickly, but this last item I’m not sure I understand”.

 

“According to the lore, It says we need the blood of an immortal” John reiterates aloud for the group.

 

“Great so, we are pretty much screwed then, unless on top of everything else you guys are immortal too?” Dean asks, rolling his eyes in annoyance

 

“Don’t be ridiculous Dean”, Cas chastises. They are nephilim, but they have souls. They will age just as everyone else does. Besides the spell calls for the blood of an immortal human.

 

“Wait a minute guys! What if the term immortal isn't necessarily literal?” Samuel exclaims.” In Greek mythology one was often considered immoral if he could walk the path of Aion and live to tell the story. In other words, those who returned from journeys through time, those who walked the eternal circle were considered to be ‘immortal’. These people still lived an average life span, but many revered them as immortals for the rest of their lives, even unto the afterlife” Samuel finished.

 

“So what you're saying is you just need a human who has traveled through time?” Dean asks. The moment the words leave his mouth a light bulb seems to click for everyone else in the room, causing them to all turn and face him expectantly. “Okay, okay I get it you need me. How much blood do I have to give exactly?” Dean asks. He’s not exactly thrilled about the circumstances, but hell what’s a hunter to do. He’s bled so much for the cause already, what’s a few more drops right?

 

“Well, actually it’s quite a lot. I don’t think you could give that much without dying”, John says.

 

“Well you have any better ideas?” Dean shoots back.

“Actually...yeah. Yeah I do” John says behind an amused grin. “What do you guys say about taking a little trip to the one other immortal we know. Let’s pay uncle Sammy a visit shall we?”.


	7. Bridges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep in his heart he knows what the admission is meant to do. Cas is extending his half of the bridge to Dean. He is putting his feelings out on the line for Dean to take or cast away. God, does Dean want to take. He wants to take so badly it hurts. He wants to latch on to all Cas has to give and never let go, but he’s scared. The angel is his best friend and Dean doesn't want to jeopardize that. Cas has always been braver than Dean when it’s come to feelings, to matters of the heart. Dean knows that Cas is taking a big chance here, and he owes it to him to at least try and be just as brave with this whole thing. Voice, shaking, Dean finally asks the question on his heart, the one he knows will lead to the inevitable confession he so desperately wants to hear and avoid all at once.

Dean’s arms are shaking as he continuously readjusts his grip on baby’s steering wheel. He doesn’t know why the thought of seeing Sam is making him so anxious. It’s not like he wasn’t with the Sasquatch a whole week ago before this clusterfuck trip to flatland began. Still, there’s something about meeting this other Sam that’s got him on edge. What will this Sam look like? How much older than Dean will he be now? What if things are different between them? At the very least, Dean knows that twenty or more years--depending on when he and Cas’ had Cassius (wow,that’s not a weird statement at all)--separate him from this new Sam and a lot can happen in twenty years. Hell, these past twelve years have been a lot. He and Sam have come a long way from two young brothers who were beginning to reconnect after a family fall out all those years ago. Knowing the lifestyle they live, Dean’s worried that he won’t even know his own kid brother anymore.

 

This anxiety is pretty much the whole reason he elected to drive to Sam’s house in the first place. All four kids were more than willing to zap him there to save time, but Dean just really wanted the chance to have something normal in lieu of the past several hectic days. He declined the offer and Cas decided to tag along for the ride. Baby has always been the one constant in his life that has never changed, and he was glad to see that his other self had kept her well cared for and safely stowed away in the garage. He is thankful for the time the drive is giving him to collect his thoughts. He thinks that Cas has noticed this too, if his constant glances toward Dean are anything to go by. He knows the angel thinks he is being covert but Dean catches him each time. For anyone else that might have been true, but Dean knows Cas too well, he can almost feel when the angel is looking at him, feel the way it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up and his heart work just a little bit harder. Finally after the umpteenth time Dean gives in.

 

“Alright Cas spill”, Dean say, tone exasperated. “You keep looking at me like you're worried I’m gonna disappear. And trust me man, while I would love to give you a taste of your own medicine for once, last I checked I didn’t suddenly sprout wings or develop grace so I’m pretty much glued to this seat”.

 

“I’m worried about you Dean. I know that the idea of seeing Sam in this setting scares you a bit. That’s why I didn't resist when you wanted to take Baby. Things have been very chaotic since we arrived, but I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t notice when you’re not yourself. Your well being has always been my first priority, but now I suppose I have four new ones I have to learn how to make room for” then more seriously, “I’m here for you if you would like to talk about it".

” Never one to beat around the bush huh Cas?” Dean says blushing. “You shouldn’t say those thing man” he finishes somberly

 

“What things?” Cas asks.

“That I’m a priority. Not when there are so many important things to worry about dude. Heaven, hell, the fucking devil himself! I don’t.. I don’t deserve that” Dean says. The unspoken ‘I don’t deserve you’ lingers in the air.

 

“Dean what if I told you that you were important to me? Would that really be so hard to believe. I am an angel, I was not created to have priorities above serving heaven, but I did. I questioned, I doubted, I rebelled. I developed my own desires and wants and I prioritized those. I chose to follow you and Sam because I believed in the work you were doing. I have always though and still do believe that the world needs Dean Winchester. That you are important, especially to me.” Cas says fiercely.

 

Dean slams on the breaks at that, car jerking to a violent stop at the side of the road. Cas looks at Dean like he’s lost his mind. Dean thinks he might be. God, he doesn’t even know what to do with this. He thinks he knows what's going to happen after he asks this next question, but he thinks it might kill him if he doesn't ask anyway. His can feel the rapid rising and falling of his own chest. The harsh thudding of his own heart in his ears blocks out all other sound. Deep in his heart he knows what the admission is meant to do. Cas is extending his half of the bridge to Dean. He is putting his feelings out on the line for Dean to take or cast away. God, does Dean want to take. He wants to take so badly it hurts. He wants to latch on to all Cas has to give and never let go, but he’s scared. The angel is his best friend and Dean doesn't want to jeopardize that. Cas has always been braver than Dean when it’s come to feelings, to matters of the heart. Dean knows that Cas is taking a big chance here, and he owes it to him to at least try and be just as brave with this whole thing. Voice, shaking, Dean finally asks the question on his heart, the one he knows will lead to the inevitable confession he so desperately wants to hear and avoid all at once.

 

“Cas, what are you saying to me right now? What... are you saying?” He asks breathlessly.

“I think that I am in love with you Dean Winchester. No, I know I am in love with you. Perhaps I have been since I first touched you in Hell. Since I first saw your soul shining defiantly through the darkness, calling out to me. It took me many years to realize what this feeling I had for you was. But I know it is love because it is the same feeling I sense when the tide ebbs back in at the first beckoning of the moon. When the delicate plant tendril breaks through rock at the first sign of light. It is the same feeling that causes stars to go supernova, wanting to burn their brightest even if it is the last they will ever burn. I know it is love because I feel all these things when I am near you. I am more than an angel when you look at me. That is what I am saying to you right now”. Castiel finishes. voice shaky.

 

He pins Dean on a cerulean stare . Holding his gaze and refusing to let go. Dean breaks eye contact first, looking down at his lap like it holds all the answers. His immediate instinct is to fight. He wants to tell Cas all the reasons he shouldn’t feel that way. All the reasons he can do better, but he’s also a selfish bastard. Cas’ words rip him up inside in all the ways that hurt the best and God help him Dean wants more. He’s tired of fighting, been fighting this thing between them for years and for once, just once Dean Winchester, with his give 'em hell attitude, wants to give in.

 

Cas is still staring at him when Dean looks up. He’s desperately trying to search Dean’s face for a response. Finally Dean breaks, collapsing into Cas from across the impala's middle, lips and touch and teeth colliding. God it’s like heaven, no scratch that, Dean’s already been there and it doesn't hold a candle to this. This right here with Cas. Dean doesn’t even register the dampness on his own cheeks as he pulls Cas closer by the back of his neck, causing the angel to sigh. Dean takes advantage of this and deepens the kiss. Cas, well Cas is matching Dean for everything he’s worth. He’s a warrior Dean thinks to himself, and he kisses like he fights, with everything he’s got. Dean backs out a little for air, biting Cas’ lower lip as he goes. This draws a new sound out of the angel. A deep and heady moan. Breaking apart, Cas blinks surprisingly at his own response. Eyes glancing down as a shy smile paints his lips. Dean returns the sentiment with a teasing smile of his own.

"It's alright, you'll get use to that" Dean says, wiggling his eyebrows in mock suggestiveness.

"You are insufferable Cas says" pushing Deans face away and flashing a gummy smile.  
Dean decides he likes that look on Cas a lot, and wants to see it more. The though of more has him snapping back to reality. He hopes that this is something Cas wants to continue to explore. That he isn't having any second thoughts.

Reaching in for one more short kiss, because its that good, Dean decides to share this with the angel while he's still coming down from the endorphin high. “Look Cas I’m just as scared as you are about this. About what this all means exactly, but I want to give it a try. I can’t guarantee that I won't be shit at it, or that I won’t fuck up, but I just, I want to try’” he says shakily.

“I know Dean”

“Cause I’m just not good with the whole feelings thing you know, but God, when it comes to you I jus--”

“Dean, I know” Cas says reassuringly. “I think I’ve known for a while. We’ve waited eight years for this moment, I think we can afford to take things at our own pace”.

 

“Yea” Dean breathes out on a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, okay buddy”.

With that Dean re-starts baby, her engine roaring to life with a new kind of thrill. Dean eases her back on the road. With Sam’s house lying ahead Dean presses the gas, firing up to 80 mph. He knows that his brother and four half angel kids are waiting for him. He knows he and Cas still have to find their other selves while managing to keep this family together.He also knows that a battle lies ahead somewhere perhaps against this Aion. He can feel it in his gut, but with Cas warm and visibly content at his side he feels almost invincible. Regardless of what the future holds, he feels good in a way he hasn’t in awhile. Like a weight has been lifted off his chest. Dean has finally extended his half of the bridge and now all that awaits is for him and Cas is to figure out how they want to cross it together. Dean would be lying if he said that everything was perfect now that he and Cas finally laid their feelings for each other bare, but the reality of it is that he couldn't be further from perfect. He is a whirlwind of emotion: scared, but content. Apprehensive but ready to explore this new side of he and Cas’ relationship. But when Cas gently links his fingers into Dean’s, for once the hunter doesn’t feel the need to fight. He supposes it's a good start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shorter chapter but no less important. Dean and Cas needed this little slither or time away before they really get into it with Aion.


	8. Too much at Stake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yea” Sam huffs. “Something like that” he finishes, smiling fondly. “I’d love for you to meet them when this is all over with. Dea adores you Dean. But with the summoning, and us not really knowing what to expect from this Aion goddess, I didn’t want Eileen or the kids in the house. I know she’s in the life, but things are different now. Too much is at stake”.
> 
> “I get that Sammy. A lot more than I did before” Dean says, looking around at his own kids, and at Cas. And Dean means it. Every word. Before, He just had to worry about keeping Dad and Sam safe. Then it was just Sam. Then Sam and Cas. and Now Dean’s got four kids who need his protecting; but things are different now too. He’s not alone here. Cas is with him. This is as much of his burden as it is Deans, and that in itself is new for the hunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean’s never been more grateful to have Cas at his back, literally, as the angel gently pushes him toward the door. His hand is steady but strong--inhumanly strong-- (that shouldn’t be as much of a turn on as it is)on the small of Dean’s back, gently urging the reluctant hunter closer to Sam’s door. Dean doesn’t know why he’s dragging his feet. Just an hour ago he was on the road, Cas at his side, feeling invincible, but now, being in such close proximity to Sam is making his worries from earlier rear back up.

 

“It will be okay Dean. This is Sam, your brother. No matter what timeline you're in, no matter what future, that will never change. Trust in that love. Trust your unconditional love for him to be reciprocated.” Castiel whispers reassuringly in his ear.

 

Feeling the heat of Cas’ hand on him, and the warm ghost of breath over the back of his neck is enough to distract Dean, albeit temporarily, from his thoughts. Cas must have timed the moment, sneaky bastard, because while Dean’s short circuited brain struggles to come back online, Sam takes that exact moment to open the front door.

 

For a moment there’s nothing but silence, as he and Dean make eye contact. In one look so many things are conveyed--happiness, joy, heartbreak, family and love--always love for his baby brother.

 

“Heya Sammy” Dean says fondly

 

“Dean, it’s… it’s really you” Sam huffs in awe.

 

Dean’s guessing he must look very different in this time, if Sam’s looking at him like that. Another moment passes and then inevitably, because it’s always been their thing, they hug. A good old fashion Winchester hug. He’s been on the receiving end of so many of these embraces. When he came back from hell, when came back from purgatory, when he left to kill Amara. The thing is they are and have always been more than just hugs for Dean, they’ve always symbolized home. Just like that, Dean feels all his apprehensions dissolve. This is his Sammy, and that’s not gonna ever change. Dean feels Sam squeeze a little harder and then place a few claps on his back. When they finally break apart, Dean can’t help but look him over.

 

He looks good, healthy, happy even-- despite the circumstances. But God is it weird so see a Sam that looks so much older than him. Dean notes that he has the beginnings of grey at his temples as well as some sporadic salt and peppering throughout his shoulder length hair. _Of course Sam’s still got the chick hair_ , Dean thinks to himself. He starting to think the guy's gonna be be buried with it. He’s got a few new lines in his face that weren't there before, some crows feet as well but Dean suspects that he's maybe around his late 40’s possibly very early 50’s at most.

 

“Damn, you got old dude” Dean says half-jokingly and taps Sam playfully on the stomach with the back of his hand. He lets himself into the house looking around impressively.

“You should see how you look now. You wouldn’t be saying that to me if you could, Jerk!” Sam teases back.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I look damn good at any age and you know it, Bitch” Dean tosses back without missing a beat.  
Just like that, things are back to the way they have always been. _Some things never change,_ Dean thinks to himself.

“Cas!, man I was so distracted with this pain in the ass over here” Sam says gesturing to Dean. “ I almost missed you back there. God, you look so young man”.

He grabs Cas in for a hug, which the angel returns with equal amounts of happiness and fervor.

“It’s good to see you too Sam” Cas says. “ I assume that the children have updated you on the situation at hand?".

“Yea, although I wish I had been told sooner. Jesus, Cassius two whole weeks your parents have been missing and you never thought to call me?!” Sam says angrily.

 

Cassius who appears to be trying his damnedest to shrink into the sofa he’s sitting on, murmurs a quiet “Sorry uncle Sam” as he lookS down at his lap.

 

At that, Sam seems to deflate a little. Dean’s always thought him to possess the patience of a saint when it comes to the whole feeling charades, and even though Cassius has got to be at least 18, he’s still so young. Somehow he looks even smaller sitting in that chair with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

 

“It’s okay bud. I’m here now, and we are gonna all work this out together” Sam reassures. Taking a deep breath, he continues on the exhale. “Okay so, I made sure to drop Dea and Henry off with Eileen at one of her old hunter cabins about 2 hours outside of Wichita, so--”

 

“Hold on a sec, who and who now?” Dean interrupts

 

Sam’s expression changes to one of pride and love. Puppy dog eyes shining bright and cheesy smile spreading across his face. “Dea and Henry are my kids. Well your niece and nephew. Henry is named for our grandad, I guess that's pretty obvious, and well Dea is named after--”

 

“Me” Dean finishes, expression awed. He knows that he named his own son after Sam, but it never occurred to him that anyone would want to name their kid after him. That he would be worthy of that honor. The thought makes Dean's heart warm in the best of ways. He hopes that Sam can see how thankful he is.

 

“And Eileen? As in Eileen Leahy?” Dean surmises. “I’m guessing it was love at first hunt then huh?” He teases.

 

“YeaH” Sam huffs. “Something like that” he finishes, smiling fondly. “I’d love for you to meet them when this is all over with. Dea adores you Dean. But with the summoning, and us not really knowing what to expect from this Aion goddess, I didn’t want Eileen or the kids in the house. I know she’s in the life, but things are different now. Too much is at stake”.

“I get that Sammy. A lot more than I did before” Dean says, looking around at his own kids, and at Cas. And Dean means it. Every word. Before, He just had to worry about keeping Dad and Sam safe. Then it was just Sam. Then Sam and Cas. and Now Dean’s got four kids who need his protecting; but things are different now too. He’s not alone here. Cas is with him. This is as much of his burden as it is Deans, and that in itself is new for the hunter.

 

“Alright then, Let’s get this show on the road” Cassius says, clapping his hands together and breaking Dean out of his thoughts. “Samuel, Mar come help me set up the altar. We need everything to be exactly right. Johnny hand me that cat skull” Cassius commands.

 

Castiel makes his way over to Dean, amused smile painting his lips.

  
“What’s got you looking like that cat that’s got the cream?", Dean asks

 

“Perhaps, I _have_ finally gotten the ‘cream’ as you say” Castiel says, eyeing Dean fondly. Dean turns beat red at that. He’s not exactly had the chance to get use to Cas’ newfound boldness, but he’s beginning to like it. Reminds him how much Cas has changed from the stone faced angel he met all those years ago. Now he’s something all his own.

 

“Alright Casanova, take it easy there” Dean teases. “For real, what’s with the look?”. He asks, leaning his shoulder against the angel’s.

 

“Has it occurred to you, just how much you and Cassius are alike? Sometimes I just look at him and I see so much of you. His heart, his defiant spirit, his love for his family. Not to mention you guys look just alike. It’s endearing” Cas says.

 

The two continue to watch the scene unfold before them. Cassius giving orders to his younger siblings. A “Here, Sammy set it up like that. Yeah, that's great!” here and a “Careful Mar, don’t burn your finger on that candle!” there. He’s the opposite of bossy. Dean can see that he leads but from a humble standpoint. He wants to teach his siblings not control them.  
.  
“He’s a good kid, they all are. Sharp as hell too. I think they get that from you dude” Dean says looking up at Cas.

 

“Dean…” Cas says in warning. “You know I hate when you do that. Anything that they are, they are because of us. Give yourself the credit you deserve”.

 

“I know Cas, easy said than done man. You don’t just drop thirty plus years of shitty self worth over night...but I’m working on it. I don’t know man, these past few days have really done something to me. I can’t explain it, but I just feel like something...more, or at least I want to be more” Dean finishes.

 

“I know what you mean” Cas says. “After lucifer’s possession and everything that has happened with Amara and Chuck, with your mother returning… I have just been so obsessed with my grace, with becoming strong enough to trap lucifer and fix things once and for all. It’s somewhat of a relief to have something else to focus on. To be somewhere where I am enough as I am".

 

Dean hasn’t even had the time to stop and think about what his Sam and Mary are doing back in 2017. God, that doesn't get any easier to say. That’s a whole nother mess for another time. Heh heh time, gotta love puns. But, now Dean’s gotta keep his head in the here and now.

 

“Cas, now you know I hate when you do that” Dean says, mocking Castiel’s earlier word choice. “But in all seriousness man, you have always been enough, I think I made that obvious back there in the car. You need to… no the two of us need to work on letting the past go or else this things between us ain't gonna even have a fighting chance.

 

Cas is looking at Dean likes he’s remade the entire world just for him. Dean wants to look away, say something snarky to break the mood. But now is as good of a time as any to start breaking old habits, so instead he forces himself to return Cas gaze. He doesn't fight, he just lets that appreciation wash over him. Dare he say, it feels kind of nice.

 

A prickling sensation at the back of his neck makes Dean’s head snap up. He finds Sam looking at him, a weird expression on his face. Dean moves to ask Sam what’s up but before he can Sam dodges him and heads for the shrine.

 

“Alright guys, everything is set. Are we all ready?” He waits for any objection and when there is none he continues. “Okay so here’s how it’s gonna go. Mariel is gonna read the text to start the summoning. She’s got the best tongue out of us all for ancient Greek. Well besides you Cas” he says gesturing to the angel. “ But we need you to be the big guns in case something goes wrong and I don’t want you preoccupied with anything else. Cassius and John, I want you two standing on opposite sides of Mariel, this way if she needs an escape route she has her brothers at the ready”.

 

‘What about me?” Samuel wines impatiently. This is my battle too and I’m not a child. I can be a part of this!”.

 

“Oh, I know Samuel. I wouldn’t dream of leaving you out” Sam says to him. “You have the most important job of all”. Sam runs into the next room to retrieve what appears to be some sort of a gemstone and hands it to Samuel.

 

“This will help you see farther, just this once though. I need you to tell me if she's gonna do anything dangerous as soon as you are able, okay?" Sam asks, bending down to make eye contact with Samuel.

 

Setting his face into a determined grimace, he says in the hardest voice a 14 year old boy can muster, “I won’t let you down uncle Sammy”.

 

“I know kid” Sam says, patting him on the shoulder.

 

“Okay, uh...hold on a freakin minute” Dean says, holding both hands up defensively. “Am I missing something here? How is Samuel gonna be able to tell you what this Aion chick intends to do? Also what’s with the set up, know something I don't about my own kids Sammy?” Dean grunts out condescendingly.

 

He knows Sam, hell he’s practically raised the kid, and one thing he’s always stressed is that hunters need to be strategic with their plans. So if Sam’s got his kids stationed at certain points throughout this whole thing there’s got to be some reason why. Dean wants to know what he’s apparently missing. And yeah, maybe he’s a little pissy that his own brother knows something about his kids that he and Cas don’t.

 

“I got this one uncle” Mariel says stepping forward.

 

Dean’s already dreading the execution of this conversation being that he and Mariel’s last conversation didn't go so well. He tries to, at the very least, brace himself for the ridicule that's gonna inevitably come he and Cas’ way.

 

“Well Dean, being that uncle Sam actually does know us, it's not surprising that he didn't automatically think to share his strategy with you. My real parents would know already and that’s what uncle Sammy’s use to”, she finishes coldly.

 

Dean doesn’t miss her emphasis on real parents, but he tries to ignore it anyway.

 

“Mar” Cassius throws out in warning. Eyes flashing blue with grace. “Cool it”.

 

“Fine” Mariel sighs. “I’ll just get to the point then. As you already know we are nephilim. As such we do not posses the same level of angelic abilities as Poppa. While we all can manifest our wings and fly to anywhere on the globe, this is the extent of which our abilities go, at least for most of us. We are,for all intent and purposes, human in that we age, and are not indestructible. We can die from anything that you can Dean, whether that be a bullet or an illness. However each of us inherited one ability that is not entirely angelic, but rather one that is unique to us.

 

Walking over to Cassius she says “Cassie here can create force fields, either around himself or others. Pretty much however he sees fit. You may recall that from our dispute from the first day where he deflected my grace”, Walking over to John she continues her explanation. “John has the ability to astral project. It has been a large part of how we have been searching for our real parents, to make sure they weren't being held hostage in any other dimensional planes”. Finally, she lands on Samuel. “And Samuel has the most important role, because he has the power to sense the intentions of others. This gives him the brief ability to see into the future. So if Aion suddenly decides that she’d like to swipe my head clean off my shoulders, Samuel would sense her intention almost as a futuristic vision moments before the intention would be acted upon. The gem that uncle Sam has given him will allow Samuel to see even earlier, giving us more time to act if need be”, She finishes.

 

‘And you? What about you?” Dean asks, because he’s honestly pretty damn curious.

 

“Well, I’m a bit of a wild card. My abilities are always changing and I have a stronger connection to my grace than the others.” I can pretty much do anything Poppa can, just not as strongly and not nearly as long. Don’t want to burn out my soul or whatever” She says on an eye roll.

 

“Huh, alright anything else I should know? Extra fingers, toes, heads maybe?” Dean asks sarcastically.

 

“Poppa’s true form has got 3 actually” Mariel says mockingly. Throwing Dean a petulant look.  
Cas honest to God blushes at that.

 

“Why you little…” Dean grunts

 

“Alright, enough you two!” Cassius interrupts. “Are we doing this or not? Aion may have all day but I sure as shit don’t”.

 

Kids got a point. “Alright, hand me the knife and bowl” Dean say grumpily.

 

He getting pretty tired of cutting his damn hand all the time. He winces as he makes the incision, letting a decent amount of blood drip into the bowl before handing the blade to Sam. Sam does the same. When they are done, Dean nods to Mariel to signal her start of the summoning. Mariel begins in perfect ancient Greek. Not skipping a single beat. The blood on the altar begins to vibrate, rising out of the bowl in a way that defies all laws of physics. The house begins to shake, causing Mariel to stutter a bit, but she quickly recovers and continues the incantation.

 

Suddenly the shaking stops, the house itself seems to take on an air of quiet. Cas looks at Mariel, Mariel looks at Cassius, Cassius to John, and back. It would be comical if the situation weren’t so serious.

 

“So...I guess it didn’t work?” Dean says.

 

But before he can get another word out, Samuel yells ”Everyone down!!” as the table carrying the altar and the entire back wall blows inward with a force Dean's never come against before.  
He’s got just enough time to register Cas’ raven black wing shielding him from the onslaught of debris before his attention is stolen by the figure standing at the source of the explosion.

 

She’s wearing a long flowing white robe, golden circlet resting atop her thick black curls that extend down her back. Her skin is like midnight, deep brown tone glowing beautifully in the light. Her piercing amber eyes find Dean's, and before she even speaks Dean shutters at the sheer power of her.

 

“I am Aion” She says, voice multiplied and inhuman. “Dean Winchester, the angel Castiel, it appears my actions have not been quite as successful as I would have liked. I’ve drained a great deal of my power to remove you from this time, and yet here you are again” She says cooly. “ Perhaps, Hera has still been good to me after all. I am right where I need to be now” She says wickedly. “You’ve went through a great deal to summon me, so come now, let us talk”


	9. The Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ No, the power I need can only come from one rare source. The union of angel and man, but not just any angel and man. The union of an angel who rebelled and Michael's sword. Of a bond so profound that it has withstood the tests of heaven, hell, purgatory, and now...even time herself. The pure power of not just a soul, but a soul that has been fused with grace. There are no other nephilim on this planet quite like your children. If I could harness that kind of power under my control I would be unstoppable. The pathetic monkeys of this earth have long forgotten the likes of myself and my brothers and sister. We were Gods! Are Gods!” The room begins to shake as her voice grows in passion. “With the pure untapped power of a nephilim soul, I would once again be remade in the image of my glory days”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is a moment where Dean just lays there. He knows that he should probably get up, dust himself off and face this Aion chick, be he honestly just wants to lie here a little longer. He can distantly register the gentle brush of Cas’ obsidian feathers all around him. He finds his eyes drifting to the ink colored feathers. He reaches out and gently strokes one of the strong flight feathers closer to the bottom of the wing. He can vaguely hear someone calling out to him, possibly his name, but it is muted somehow, distant. It is difficult to hear over the ringing in his ears. Another moment passes, where the hazy part of his brain reminds him that he’s wrapped in Cas’ wings and then, after a beat, that he shouldn't even be able to see his wings. He keeps forgetting to ask Cas what has changed, why is he able to see grace and wings when he couldn't before. Another echoing noise snatches his attention back to the present. He can feel his head clearing up slowly and this time he is able to register that it’s his own name he’s hearing. Dean. Dean. DEAN!

“Dean are you alright?” Cas asks breathlessly.  
Dean stares at him stupidly for a beat until, shaking his head for good measure, he manages to summon enough strength to nod yes.

 

“Okay Good” Cas says while cradling his face, hands gently probing and assessing for injury. He looks worried, the type of fear Dean has only seen when the angel felt he was up against something really strong. Dean doesn't like that look at all.

 

“I’m going to check on the children, Dean I need you to get up and check on Sam. Can you do that for me?" He asks.

 

“Yea Cas, I can do anything for you” Dean offers with a dopey smile. In the back of his mind he realizes that he may very well be concussed, He knows that that isn't the right response and he crinkles his nose to show his confusion. Cas seems to notice something off kilter about Dean as well and just pats the side of his cheeks gently, repeating his request for Dean to check on Sam before gently urging him in the direction of his brother.

 

Dean stumbles over to Sam’s unconscious form lying under various debris and dry wall residue. He's definitely out for the count but he doesn’t seem to be seriously injured. Dean breathes a sigh of relief at that. He looks over to see how Cas is making out with the kids and to his relief see’s Mariel, John and Samuel each brushing themselves off, marked with scratches but nothing serious. “Thank God” Dean thinks to himself. His relief is immediately replaced by heart wrenching worry when his eyes fall on Cassius, barely conscious and desperately clutching at a piece of wood that has impaled him through the side of his sternum. Castiel hasn’t noticed him yet, but Mariel does and immediately pushes past him to fall onto her knees at Cassius’ side.

 

“Why didn’t you protect yourself you idiot?! Why didn’t you make a force field around yourself?!” She yells. There are tears in her eyes, suggesting that her tone is more out worry than actual anger.

 

“I.. I couldn’t make one around...around you guys and myself. Too much grace, not strong enough. You’re my… my little brothers and sister, It’s my job to protect you. Dad always says that” Cassius replies with a grimace. His breathing is hard and he struggles to form every word.

 

Turning to Castiel, Dean hears Mariel yell “Heal him Poppa! Heal him. Now! What are you waiting for. How can you just stand there?!” Mariel shrieks angrily. Tears drip hotly down her cheeks and her fists clench tightly.

 

“Mariel”, Cas starts, then stops somberly. Dean doesn’t think that he’s ever seen the angel look so defeated. He wants to do whatever he can to take that pain away.

 

“Poppa, please!’ Mariel begs, voice fading out with pain.

 

“Mariel, I... I just can’t anymore. I’m so sorry", he says.

 

Mariel’s hurt quickly becomes masked by rage. Dean knows what that is like. Anger is often the easiest emotion for him as well, but he also knows that at its root there is always an overwhelming amount of pain. His heart aches for his daughter, for his sons. For Cas.

 

“Well, well, well. It appears we have found ourselves in a classic Greek tragedy. I haven’t seen drama like this since Achilles and Patroklos”. Aion cuts in condescendingly.

 

Dean flinches at the sudden booming sound of her multiplied voice. In the chaos he had almost forgotten she was there, which says a lot since she was the cause of all this. He is suddenly filled with inconceivable rage. He wants to hurt her, for hurting his family, but his head his pounding and he feels like he can’t really do much of anything in his current state. Hell, if he's not gonna at least try.

 

“Listen up, Bitch! You’re going to heal him, Now!” Dean threatens. With absolutely no leverage, his threat sounds like a bluff even to his own ears, but he tries his best to muster a hard face.

 

Aion squints her amber eyes at him, Nose scrunching up as if talking to a roach rather than a human, “Oh how right you are Dean Winchester, I will indeed heal the boy...for a price”. she finishes, placing her delicate hands on her slender waist, Black curls blowing in the breeze.

 

“Fuck you!” Cassius grunts from the floor. “We aren’t giving you shit. I’d rather die”.

 

“Then die you will” Aion turns swiftly, white dress flowing behind her as she makes to leave.

 

“Wait” Cas mumbles.

 

“What’s that angel? I didn’t quite hear you” Aion teases despite clearly having heard him.

 

“Please spare me the dramatics” Castiel says, holding up a hand in frustration. “You heard me very clearly Chronos Aeon”. He finishes, calling her by her Latin name.

 

This seems to upset the goddess, but nonetheless gets her attention and silence.

 

“Take me” He says solemnly. “I am an angel, I can be an asset of yours, you can use my grace however you see fit, if you would only heal him”.

 

Dean honest to God feels his heart stop, He’s finally just started to broach this whole thing with Cas, and now the universe is trying to rip him away from Dean again. Haven’t they been through enough. Could they really never just have this, this one good thing?

 

“Cas, No!” You can’t jus--”

 

“Dean, what other choice do we have?” He says, eyeing the hunter wearily.

 

“Cas please! Jesus, just let me think for a minute, just let me think for a goddamn minute!”. Dean knows he’s being irrational. He knows that Cas is right. But the part of his heart, the part that he is rapidly discovering is in love with Cas, or perhaps has always been, won’t let him see logic. He wants Cas. He wants him safe and by his side. Needs it even.

 

“Cas please” Dean says weakly. Because he knows the decision the angel will make, has always made, when it came to the safety of those he loves. _Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters_ , rings on repeat in his head. Dean hates it.

 

“This is just grand!” Aion bellows. “I was merely teasing when I suggested that the matter at hand was reminiscent of Achilles and Patroklos, but now… perhaps you two are more like the star crossed lovers than you know” She lets out a long winded and degrading laugh. As if the idea of taking Castiel were some ridiculous joke.

 

“Well rest easy young Winchester, I will not take your beloved Patroklos” She continues. “I have absolutely no use for a broken angel. I have to admit, I have been watching you closely Castiel. At one point I would have loved to have taken you under my command. Tapping into all those lost souls in purgatory? Pure genius. Almost worthy of a God, Almost. But now you are weak. Damaged goods” She says, tossing a sneer in Castiel’s direction.

 

She begins to make her way over to the Samuel, Mariel and John.

“ No, the power I need can only come from one rare source. The union of angel and man, but not just any angel and man. The union of an angel who rebelled and Michael's sword. Of a bond so profound that it has withstood the tests of heaven, hell, purgatory, and now...even time herself. The pure power of not just a soul, but a soul that has been fused with grace. There are no other nephilim on this planet quite like your children. If I could harness that kind of power under my control I would be unstoppable. The pathetic monkeys of this earth have long forgotten the likes of myself and my brothers and sister. We were Gods! Are Gods!” The room begins to shake as her voice grows in passion. “With the pure untapped power of a nephilim soul, I would once again be remade in the image of my glory days”.  
“Now, Now Whomever should I choose” she asks more to herself than to anyone else in the room, She continues her progression, marching past Cassius' crumpled, semi-conscious form.

 

“Get the fuck away from them!” Cassius growls eyes flickering from grace blue to normal and back. “I swear if you fucking try and take any of them, I’ll--” a pained shiver wracks his body as he begins to cough blood. “I’ll kill you!” Using every last bit of his ability, Dean sees him throw a force field over the area where his siblings are standing. Aion slams into the barrier, stumbling back a few feet. She doesn't look in the least bit harmed by the force field but she does look pissed. Her furious eyes settle on Cassius as she makes her way over to him.

 

“You miserable, disgusting excuse for a nephilim. Why, you’ve barely any grace at all” Placing her bare heel on Cassius’ throat , she begins to push down. Cassius gasps frantically, clawing at her shins in an attempt to remove her. “I have no use for you boy!, We shall see who will kill who”.

 

Dean instantly shoots to his feet, but the sudden rush of blood has his vision going double. Cursing his concussion he looks frantically around for anything that can be used as a weapon. In the process his eyes meet Cas’ and in that moment, without even thinking it is as if they both know exactly what needs to be done. Dean makes a dive towards Aion, Cas tosses his angel blade already anticipating where Dean needs to be in mid air to catch it. Dean tucks into a swift roll and sends it right on home in the middle of Aion’s back. Dean knows it’s not enough, it isn’t suppose to be, but it does what its suppose to do. The sudden pain has Aion lifting her foot off of Cassius’ neck just enough so that Dean can drag him out from under her.

 

She takes a moment to reorient herself, but before she can counter strike, phase two of the plan slams into her, in the form of raven black feathers and one super pissed off angel. Dean doesn’t think he’s ever seen Cas this vengeful, this righteous before, Not even on that dreadful day in the alleyway where Dean was given a crash course in how not to piss off a nerdy angel. If it weren’t for their current predicament he would probably be extremely turned on right now.

Cas’ eyes are glowing--no, actually fucking flaming--grace blue. His crouch is predatory and his inky black wings spread angrily. He holds out his hand toward his abandoned blade which lies prone next to Dean’s leg. It twitches before flying, of its own accord, into Castiel’s hand. He flips the blade skillfully and let’s out an honest to God growl, voice amplified with the host. Aion acknowledges the challenge and quickly whispers something Dean suspects to be ancient Greek. In an instant two warrior spears form in her hands. She crouches into her own warrior stance, amber eyes glowing with the anticipation of battle.

 

She lets out another Greek incantation, and at first Dean’s not sure what the purpose of it is, until three mummified spartan warriors appear at her side.

 

“What is a Goddess without her loyal servants” she says on a smirk. “Kill the others!” She yells to her soldiers.

 

The Spartans immediately obey, mindlessly drawing their weapons and heading toward Dean. He tries to think quickly, but he has nothing except his Beretta on him, and he prays to Chuck that it will be enough. Before the Spartans make it three feet Dean’s already got three bullets straight through their skulls. As expected the bullet wounds immediately heal, not even putting a stutter in their progression. Dean decides that if today has got to be the day to go, well then he’s at peace with it. He’s made it a lot further than he thought anyway. He keeps his eyes on the soldiers, wanting to meet the bastards head on. But before their fatal blows can land, two things happen in what almost feels like slow motion for Dean.

 

One: Mariel’s own angel blade, a weapon that looks more like a katana, stops the soldiers blow mid air.  
“Put pressure on that! Try and stop the bleeding” She tells Dean, gesturing toward Cassius’ wound. “I got this asshole!”.

 

Two: Samuel and John have made quick work of engaging in battle with the two remaining soldiers. Dean notes that each has their own ‘angel blade’ of choice. Samuel is brandishing two traditional style Sai daggers that remind Dean of Daredevil’s elektra, while John has his own double bladed sword which he grips tightly in the middle. Dean briefly wonders if they materialize like Cas’ or if they had them in Sam’s house somewhere. He quickly abandons the thought and sets to work on trying to stop Cassius’ bleeding.

“Dea...Dean. I’m, I’m so-sorry.” Cassius says, teeth stained red with blood.  
Oh Jesus, Oh fuck, there’s so much blood Dean thinks, and despite how much pressure he tries to place down on the wound, more keeps oozing out the sides and around his fingers.

 

“What are you apologizing for?” Dean says through his tears. “You protected your younger siblings, I’m...God I’m proud of you.” And Dean means it with every fiber of his being. He knows that he passed on the protectiveness for Sam that John instilled in him, to Cassius, and while part of him is angry for placing that same burden on his own son, he’s also proud. He cradles Cassius a little tighter to his lap.

 

“Dean...Dad. I..I don’t want...to..to die” the brave facade finally breaks. Cassius’ body begins to rock with sobs as he clutches Dean's arms tighter. _Shit. he’s so cold,_ Dean thinks.

 

“Stop that. You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna make it. I promise, you hear me? I PROMISE”. Dean says, holding his son’s gaze. God, he’s got to think of something fast.

 

He steals a glance towards Cas’s direction where he sees the angel is proudly holding his own against Aion. He meets each parry with his own, body elegantly leaping and twisting through the air to dodge a spear swipe here or there. He is moving inhumanly fast, wings arching and swiping out viciously toward Aion. She lets loose a fury of complex assaults, spear spinning skillfully. One spear manages to pierce Castiel's wing and for a moment Dean panics, but then he notices that he is smiling, smirking life he’s just won the Kentucky derby rather than had a spear through a body part. Dean’s still trying to figure out what Castiel is getting at until he see it too. “Rookie mistake” he thinks to himself. In all her excitement Aion has left her right side completely unguarded. So focused on the bait Castiel left her, in the form of his wing, that she doesn’t even see the blast of grace he lets out from his left hand. A loud sound, almost like thunder emits through the room, blowing Aion backwards into the stone siding of the house.

 

Castiel let’s loose a triumphant smirk as he walks over to where Aion's body is currently lodged deeply into the wall.  
“I’m may be broken, but I’m a strategist before anything, Harlot. You would do well to remember that”.

 

Within moments Samuel, John and Mariel finish off their respective opponents. Blades driving through mummified bone with ease.

 

Castiel quickly runs to Dean’s side, Samuel, John and Mariel right on his heals.

 

“Cas, he’s lost too much. I--fuck! I don’t know what to do. There’s not enough time to get him to the hospital".

 

“No! We’re losing him, There has to be something, I won’t lose him!” Mariel sobs, Clutching Cassius’ barely conscious body to her chest.

 

“It’s--It’s okay Mar, take care of them, take care of yourself. I love you, I know we don’t al--always get along, but God, I love you. Love you all. Find em, promise me...you’ll find Dad and Pop.” Cassius says, gently reaching up to brush her hair out of her face. Mariel grabs his hand as it begins to fall back to his side.

 

“Cassius, please” She begs, but there is no response. No more labored breathing, no sound at all. Just, silence.

 

“No!” Mariel cries out in anguish. Samuel and John fall to their knees at her sides, tears flowing down their cheeks. She wraps her arms around them protectively.

 

Dean turns a hopeless gaze to Cas, looking to find some sort of comfort only to be met with reflected heartbreak. This, this right here. This is the worst pain he has ever felt. Worst than when he was in hell, worse than any day on Alistair's rack. He’d suffer that forty years more if he could spare himself and Cas this pain. The pain of losing a child. Dean hasn’t even been around long enough to raise the kid, but still it’s almost as if his body just knows. Knows that a part of him is dying.

 

“I… I can save him” Aions weak voice cuts in from where she’s slowly climbing out of the wall.  
Dean suspects that she wasn’t kidding about being weakened from her attempt to remove he and Cas’ other selves from this timeline. After seeing how Cas fought today, she would have needed a hell of alotta juice to defeat a dominion version of him.

 

“How?! Tell me, you bitch!” Mariel yells as her wings shootout, propelling her lightning fast toward Aion. Her eyes blaze green with grace as she grabs Aion by the neck, lifting her at least half a foot off the ground. “Tell me!” She says, her voice multiplied and unnatural. “Tell me or I’ll fucking crush your neck!”.

 

“I am the Goddess of time, I can reverse his death, but only I alone. You need me alive to do that!” Aion gasps, hands desperately clutching at Mariel’s. “But, I will only revive him if you take his place. Come with me, join my legion. Allow me to consume your power, your soul. Then and only then will I bring him back”, she finishes on a wicked sneer.

 

There’s a moment of silence, and then Dean’s heart stops because he already knows what Mariel will say before she says it. She’s a Winchester after all, and not just any Winchester but Dean “self-sacrifice” Winchester’s daughter. It’s practically in her blood to make reckless decisions for the ones she loves.

 

“Mariel, No!” Castiel yells, seemingly sensing Dean’s thoughts, but it’s too late. Dean knows it in his heart. He’s going to lose one child for another.

 

“Fine” Mariel says flatly. “Take me”.

 

"Gladly, my child". Aion says wickedly, and with that they disappear.

At first, there’s just silence, and then Dean is startled out of his heartbreak by Cassius’ sudden gasping. His wounds have miraculously healed, but he remains unconscious, head in Dean’s lap. At Least he’s alive. Dean’s thankful for that at the very least. Yet looking around the room, the victory of having Cassius back is quickly soiled by the absence of Mariel.

 

Samuel continues to sob as Castiel takes him in, wings folding protectively around the boy’s body. John looks to be in shock, staring out in the direction where Mariel had stood only moments before.

 

And Dean, well Dean tries to cope with the fact that he’s just lost his daughter to a soul hungry Goddess. How is he gonna explain this to Sam when he wakes up? He wonders. He knows he should do something. He should get up and dust himself off, be the leader he usually is in tough times. But sometimes, a leader just wants to rest. Sometimes there’s just nowhere to lead


	10. Ad Erebus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re going to see a lot of things that don’t make sense to you. Even to an angel. This is not a territory any angel has inhabited except for maybe Lucifer, if that. The only reason why I am welcomed is because I have been traveling this realm since I was child. A lot of the spirits have formed a bond with me, but even more have not. So we have to be on our guard” John makes sure to make eye contact with everyone in the room as he drives his final point home. “And whatever you do, do not leave my side. If you are lost in the shadows without a guide, you will be lost forever” He finishes grimly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Okay guys, This will be my last entry until after thanksgiving break. I will try to update again before the following Sunday (12/4) so be on the look out. Happy thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

Dean doesn’t know how much time he spends on his knees, kneeling there in Sam’s blown to hell living room. Maybe some hours have past, maybe just seconds. He honestly doesn’t have a clue, nor does he care to. He’s just been forced to make a decision that is the stuff of every parent's’ nightmare; choosing which of his children to save. That’s one hell of a double edge sword if Dean has ever seen one.

 

He slowly looks around to assess the damages. Samuel and John each cling to Cassius, their eyes red with tears. The eldest Winchester is doing his best to console his younger brother’s, mustering a brace face, but Dean sees right through it. He sees his own face and knows exactly what Cassius is feeling. Dean remembers what it felt like when his father traded his own life for his all of those years ago. He recognizes the intense look of guilt marking his son's cerulean blue eyes. Dean thinks that, now more than ever, he actually looks a lot like Cas.

 

Cas. Dean’s almost afraid to look at the angel, but he knows that Cas needs him right now. He’s feeling this loss as much as Dean is. Hell, they both need each other right now. He is almost engulfed by a wall of hurt when he finally looks at the angel. Dean thinks he can actually feel his heart breaking. Cas is staring out blankly at the spot where Aion and Mariel disappeared, as if they will come back simply by willpower alone.

 

“Cas” Dean calls softly. When the angel doesn’t respond he tries again a little louder. “Cas”.  
The angel still remains motionless, eyes never leaving that spot.

 

Dean crawls over to him. First he paws at his trench coat gently, then climbs his way up until his hands are gently holding the angel's face. He leans in until their foreheads bump.

 

“Cas, look at me” He whispers against his lips. And then because Dean desperately needs his angel to come back to him, “Look at me sweetheart”.

 

That seems to get Castiel’s attention. His eyes widen briefly before he turns his head and focuses on Dean. Blue meeting green intently.

 

“Dean” is all he says before he all but slumps into Dean’s waiting arms, body shaking violently with the force of his sobs.

 

“Dean, I can’t, I don’t feel her anymore. I didn’t notice it at first, but now that she’s gone I can’t feel her in my grace anymore. It...it hurts Dean”.

Cas clings to him even tighter and Dean doesn’t let up on holding him for a minute. Dean hadn’t even considered what it would be like to physically feel the absence of another person in your soul, grace, whatever. There is something extra heartbreaking about seeing Cas so broken, so human. He’s never had to deal with these emotions so directly before, even when he was human he wasn’t a parent. He didn’t know this kind of loss. Dean can’t even begin to imagine the pain that Cas must feel inside. He places a kiss to the top of his head and then, because he doesn’t know what else to do, he continues to gently rub his back.

 

“It’s okay Cas, I got you” He says, because he means it. Cas is not alone in this, he never was and as far as Dean’s concerned he never will be.

 

A soft groan from the corner steals Dean’s attention. Sam is beginning to come to. He sits up, rubbing his head in confusion and looks around at the shattered remains of his living room.

 

“Dean what the hell happened?!” He gives Samuel, Cassius and John a once over before it hits him .”Dean...Dean where’s Mariel?”.

 

Dean feels his heart break all over again. He can’t bring himself to look into his brother’s eyes. Dean has always known that he’s a fuck up. He lets everyone he loves down, why would his own children be spared from the black hole that follows him around. Now Sam will know it too.

 

“Dean, it’s okay, we will get her back. Please...Dean, don’t cry”. Sam saya, hands reaching out in an attempt at a soothing gesture.

 

Dean hadn’t even realized he was crying, but surely enough when he reaches up with his hands, his fingers come away wet. Well shit, now Dean feels like a fuck up and a wuss.

 

Clearing his throat, Cassius stands up. He looks broken, but not defeated. There’s a hint of rebellion in his eyes, an untapped source of perseverance. He stands with his chin held high and hands balled into fists, blue eyes piercing in their gaze. He looks around the room at each of his siblings and uncle and then finally at Dean and Cas.

 

“Uncle Sam is right, We ARE getting her back”, He all but growls. “Mariel’s sacrifice will not be in vain. It’s my job to protect her and I will bring her back. We will bring her back, but only as a team. Every minute we sit here feeling sorry for ourselves is one less minute put toward finding Mar”.

 

His wings snap out with pride, and his eyes alight with blue grace as he continues.

 

“Get up! We are Winchesters goddammit. We have grace and a giant 'give em hell attitude' to back it up. Goddess or not, she's gonna shit herself when she realizes that she’s gone and fucked with the wrong family. She’s yet to encounter a Greek epic quite like this. If she thinks Oedipus Rex was fucking bad, she has no idea what tragedy awaits her ass.  Now pick yourselves up and get to work. Mariel wouldn’t hand the keys to some power hungry bitch if she didn’t think that we could find her in time. I know my sister, she’s got a plan and she’s counting on us. It's time to go get our girl!”.

 

Dean can’t help but beam with pride. _Atta boy,_ he thinks to himself.  
Cas picks his head up from where it's been pressed against Dean’s chest for the past ten minutes. He’s looking at Cassius in the same way that Dean sometimes catches the angel looking at him. Something akin to adoration only this time it’s based in a more familial kind of love.

 

“Okay, Cassius. Let’s go home and figure out what needs to be done”, Cas says as he wipes his tears. Cassius all but beams at his father’s approval.

 

He grabs onto Dean, Samuel and John grab Sam, and on the count of three Sam’s house is left vacant. Only the tell tale echo of rustling wings in flight remains.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Dean touches down back at he and Cas’ house, it’s with a whole new attitude. He’s done licking his wounds, he’s ready to go back into battle. Sam, Cassius, John and Samuel are already heading for the lore books when Dean decides to see what Cas is fixing to do.

 

“Hey” Dean says, because honestly he didn't really have a specific agenda in mind before he decided to talk to Cas. All Dean knows is that he could really go for just simply hearing Cas' voice right about now.

 

“Hey” Cas replies a little sheepishly. Dean finds the subtle blush on his cheeks endearing. He knows their relationship or whatever it is, is still very much in its beginning stages, but he still finds it funny that Cas can muster up some sort of shyness even after their impromptu makeout session in the impala two weeka ago. God has it really only been two weeks? So much has happened between the time they first arrived in flatland until now. Still, Dean thinks that he deserves to enjoy this just a little more.

 

“Watching you kick Aion's ass back there? I gotta say, it was kinda hot” Dean says, leaning down to whisper against Cas’ ear.

 

The effect is immediate and just what Dean expected. The angel’s cheeks turn even brighter as he lets out a tiny gasp. Watching how Cas responds to him, how he has always responded to Dean is honestly one of his guilty little pleasures, its own potent brand of aphrodisiac.

 

“I have to admit, It was nice to be able to feel like a soldier again. It’s been so long sense I felt powerful...since I felt like I was truly protecting someone. I expended a lot more grace than I meant to however. I’m going to need a few hours to recuperate if we are to face Aion again.” Cas says, eyes drifting down to Dean’s lips and then back to the green of his eyes.

 

Dean’s mind flashes back to Cas in the heat of battle: Onyx wings flared proudly, eyes alight with fury, and hands unleashing grace skillfully toward Aion. Speaking of grace, Dean finally decides that now is as good a time as any to finally ask Cas about it.

 

“Hey Cas, about that… How come I've been able to see angel wings lately, and grace too? I mean all of these years you always told me to look away so I wouldn’t end up with two sunny side ups for eyes. Why isn’t it a problem now?”

 

Cas blushes a little at that.

 

“I was wondering when you were going to ask. At first I thought it strange myself. Then I assumed that the parameters of flatland had somehow changed to accommodate my grace. But then Samuel explained that we weren’t in an alternate reality, just the future, so that put a major hole in my theory.

 

“So what then? I get a free peep show in this timeline?” Dean asks.

 

“Well no...not exactly”. Cas breaks eye contact with Dean, rubbing his neck and looking down at his shoes, he continues cautiously. “Dean, what I’m about to tell you might be a little uncomfortable”.

 

“Jesus, Cas, the only thing making me uncomfortable right now is the stalling. Get to it dude”.

 

“Well usually, a human can only see an angel's true form, or parts of it, if they have a special connection to the angel...Usually these human are either some part supernatural themselves or they are..”

 

“They’re what? Cas?” Dean thinks he might already know the answer. He doesn't know if he should be singing his praises or heading for the hills.

 

“Unless they share a profound bond and are true mates. The kind of bond that allows for the creation of nephilim. I believe that being here, seeing our children, allowed us both to subconsciously realize the bond and accept it. It’s still very much at the beginning stages, but the longer we hold onto it, the more it will grow.” Cas finishes.

 

Dean can see him trying to search for any reaction in his eyes. Surprisingly, even to himself, Dean had suspected that their relationship status in this time would have something to do with it. If he’s honest with himself, this thing between he and Cas, this bond, has been a long time in the making. He felt it immediately when he came back from hell, knew something was different inside him, but he fought it every step of the way. First, because Castiel was too new and strange for Dean to trust, and later because Dean was too dirty and broken to let something as pure and holy as Cas in. If he’s even more honest, he can almost remember that day in hell when it was first formed. Sometimes he has dreams that he is still on the rack, still torturing souls, but then the faintest memory of light and a searing burn on his shoulder will have him waking in a cold sweat. He’s never told Cas about those dreams.

 

“Dean...I know that you don’t believe in destiny or fate or anything of that nature. I respect that and I don’t want to scare you. I just--”.

 

“Okay” Dean breaths. “Okay”. He says again, nodding more to himself than Cas.  
“Look Cas, normally I would be freaking out about something like this, but I’ve been here long enough to realize that some things aren’t meant to be changed. Flatland has been trying to tell me something from the start. We…for some reason, that you and I will drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out, you and I bonded that day in hell. I think, I’m at a place now where i’m willing to accept that for what it is. So yea, screw destiny, but what we have is more than that. I can’t explain it but it just feels right. So I’m okay with this...if it's something you're okay with I mean” Dean says as he clears his throat.

 

Cas out right breathes a sigh of relief. Dean is torn between love and heartbreak at the fact that Cas was willing to accept whatever Dean’s response was going to be even though it so clearly would have pained him if Dean had rejected the bond. Slightly emboldened, Cas’ eyes flicker back down to Dean lips, this time remaining there for a prolonged period of time before flickering back up.

 

Dean reads it for exactly what it is.  
“Okay, yeah” Dean whispers as he leans down to give Cas what he’s still too shy to ask for.

 

This kiss is both alike and unlike the first one. Whereas the first time was passion filled, heated and rushed, this one is a lot sweeter. Dean makes sure to gently nibble on Cas’ lower lip before pulling away. This causes Cas to whimper, and just because Dean loves the sounds he makes, he leans in for one more chaste kiss.

 

“Woah” Dean says breathlessly. He can feel that something has shifted between them. He can’t exactly pinpoint what it is, only that he is more aware of Cas in this moment. Of his heartbeat and the sweetness of his breath. He feels so much more attuned with him and it’s a bit overwhelming. His immediate instinct is to clamp down on it, shut it out because it feels like too much.

 

“Don’t, please“ Cas says breathlessly. “I know its a bit much, but don’t fight it. It will settle in the next couple of hours”.

 

“The bond” Dean says, eyes widening in realization.

Cas nods patiently. “Yes, now that we have allowed ourselves to recognize it, it will be more noticeable from here on out”.

 

“Huh” Dean says. He wonders if he’ll be able to feel Cas, like actually feel his emotions. He decides to test that out. Curiosity be damned. Thinking of the most erotic thing he can muster, and that’s a lot coming from Dean, he tries his best to allow himself to be enveloped by the heat those images bring. The effect is almost instantaneous much to his amusement. Cas downright moans, cheeks turning pink. Dean thanks his lucky stars that everyone else seems to be occupied at the moment.

 

“Dean… don’t” Cas warns, although it's hard to take him serious when he looks so wonderfully debauched .

 

“Huh” Dean huffs. “Good to know” he says with a wink.

 

“Let’s get to work” Cas says on a sigh, although Dean can tell it’s mostly for show.

 

Cas makes his way out to where Cassius, John and Samuel are having what appears to be a heated conversation

 

Dean moves to join them, but not before he is intercepted by Sam.

 

“Hey Sammy” Dean says

 

“Hey” Sam throws back, tone short and clipped.

 

“Dude what’s wrong? I know with Mariel missing things are hard, but we are gonna get her bac--”

 

“It’s not that Dean… It’s just that I’ve been noticing some things that are different about you guys” Sam says, eyebrows fidgeting in the way that Dean has grown to associate with nervousness in Sam.

 

“Oh...me and Cas, right. I kinda thought you were already okay with that seeing as we apparently have four kids already” Dean says, crossing his arms defensively.

 

“ What… yes, of course I’m okay with it Dean!” Sam huffs. “It’s just that, this is all so different. You guys being here is seriously messing up the timeline. Look dude, I know how you and Cas got together and this? This right here? This isn’t how it happens”.

 

“Okay… so just tell me how it happens and we’ll do our best to get it right I guess”, Dean offers. He doesn’t necessarily like the idea of playing a role when it comes to he and Cas’ personal life but he will if he has to.

 

“No...Dean, I’m being serious here!” Sam says, throwing Dean one of his signature bitch faces. Of all the things the future has changed, Dean was hoping that the bitch faces would have been one of them.

 

“I am too Sammy, I don’t really know what you want from me here, but I’m trying man”. Dean offers.

 

“ Okay.. I get it, but it’s complicated. Telling you now could further alter the future when you get back to your time. No man should know too much about his own future” Sam says.

 

“Dude, did you just Doc Brown me?”

 

“Dean…” Sam all but growls.

 

“Okay, okay sorry” Dean says, throwing up his hands in a placating gesture. “I couldn't resist, you kinda served that one to me on a silver platter” Dean chuckles.

 

“Dude this isn’t funny” Sam grumbles.

 

“No, it’s not” Dean agrees. “ But Sammy, what can we really do. We’re fucked either way. If you tell me, if you don’t tell me...either way things are changing. They’ve been changing the moment me and Cas stepped foot in flatland. So the way I see it, we can either fight it or roll with it. I vote for option number 2”.

 

“You know” Sam huffs bemusedly “I forgot how wise you were in your younger years” He says. Rubbing his graying chin, he regards Dean for a bit longer before continuing , “Now you're just a diaper wearing old fart on the cusps of dementia” Sam teases.

 

“Oh knock it off” Dean teases back. “I bet I’m like on par with the three wise men in this day and age”

 

“Well actually your... Wait” Sam sighs.

 

“Yea, I get it you gotta be careful with what you leak, don't want any major spoilers", Dean says.

 

“Man, time travel is fucking weird" Sam sighs.

 

“You can say that again little bro” Dean says, nudging him in the side with his elbow.  
“Alright, looks like I’m needed over there” He says gesturing toward where Samuel and John are still arguing. “ Do me a favor and grab me a cold one Sammy?” he shoots over his shoulder.

 

“John, you can't go under now! You don’t know the limits of Aion’s power. Some Gods and Goddesses can walk in the shadow realm too. She might see you and if she does she could hurt you or worse, she might feel rushed to exercise whatever plan she has with Mar. The results could be catastrophic!” Samuel yells. He gestures his hands wildly as he talks. Dean thinks that he definitely gets that from him.

 

“Samuel, look I get it, you're worried, but dude you're stuck in intent mode. It’s become second nature for you to try to anticipate an opponent's next move and I don’t blame you, but you can’t see the future. Your worrying for nothing. So far I’ve never encountered a spirit in the shadow realm that I couldn't handle. Plus Greek Gods are forbidden from the realm unless they have been killed. The only one I've seen down there is Erebus and Aion may be dumb, but she’s not stupid enough to mess with him. The shadow realm is his territory and he doesn’t like intruders, well besides me”, John says.

 

“Ew Johnny gross, no one cares about your underworld friend with benefits or whatever".

 

John's cheeks go impossibly red at that. " Tha-that's not what I meant!", He says by way of defense.

 

"Anyway, my point is that Aion has Mar, and with that kind of power she could tap into anything she wants. You shouldn’t go under until we know what we’re dealing with!” Samuel all but shrieks.

 

“Kid has got a point Johnny” Cassius says.

 

“Thank you!” Samuel says, stomping his foot and letting out a triumphant whoop at having his side taken.

 

“But… So does Johnny” Cassius says

 

“Ha! You twerp” John says, as he sticks his tongue out mockingly.

 

“Okay, okay, enough of that. You both are right, which is why I have decided to combine your plans” Cassius says proudly.

 

"But Cassie!” Samuel and John whine in unison

 

“Ah ah, my word goes guys. Trust me here okay, Would I ever put you two in danger?” Cassius asks.

 

They both nod their head “no”

 

“Alright then, here’s what we are gonna do. Johnny is gonna go under as soon as he is feeling up to it. He’s gonna pull me in with him. Even in the shadow realm, I’ll be able to use my force fields if need be, I’ll just have to rely a little more on my grace”.

 

“But Cassie, you know… isn’t that gonna be hard for you? No offense” Sam says quietly.

 

“None taken bro, look I know I’m not the strongest but that's where pop comes in!” Cassius says, smiling widely and gesturing toward Castiel.

 

Castiel turns his head to the side, an inquisitive habit he’s developed since coming to earth.  
“ Apologies, but I fail to see my role in this”.

 

“It’s simple, you come with us and act as our muscle or batteries or whatever. You can link your grace to ours and give me the boost I need to make sure I can perform when the time comes”.

 

“I see...okay then, I’m ready when you all are. My grace is still recuperating from the battle with Aion but I should be okay to combined with you Cassius”, Castiel says.

 

“And what do me and Sam do? Sit here and braid each other’s hair until you come back?" Dean grumbles sarcastically.

 

“Sorry Dad, Uncle Sam, this is kind of a supernatural and half supernatural beings only deal” Cassius says sheepishly. “But it is very important that you protect our bodies. If something happens to them while I’m projecting, we will be stuck in the shadow world forever. Also make sure no spooks try to hop in for a test drive", John says grimly. “ You might want to go grab some salt and iron before we begin".

 

“Yeah, okay” Sam says, gesturing for Dean to follow him to the basement.  
Dean finds it a bit strange that he has to follow Sam to his own basement, but it it what it is. When they return, John is sitting in the middle of a pentagram filled with Enochian symbols. Cassius sits at a forty five degree angle from him while Castiel does the same on the other side, the three of them forming a triangle.

 

Sam and Dean each drop the bag of salt and a handful of iron piping they are carrying.

 

“Okay” John says. “When we go under, you follow my lead and my lead only. Got it Cassius? I am in control in the shadow realm not you”.

 

“Hearing you loud and clear bro” Cassius says in agreement.

 

“You’re going to see a lot of things that don’t make sense to you. Even to an angel. This is not a territory any angel has inhabited except for maybe Lucifer, if that. The only reason why I am welcomed is because I have been traveling this realm since I was child. A lot of the spirits have formed a bond with me, but even more have not. So we have to be on our guard” John makes sure to make eye contact with everyone in the room as he drives his final point home. “And whatever you do, do not leave my side. If you are lost in the shadows without a guide, you will be lost forever” He finishes grimly.

 

“Sounds freakin peachy” Dean says from his perch on the couch behind them. Sam abruptly shushes him.

 

“Okay guys, let’s go find our girl” John says

 

And just like that Dean watches the three of them fall to the floor lifelessly.

 

“Yeah, that’s real reassuring” Dean huffs. And if he clutches the iron bar in his hands a little tighter, Sam doesn’t comment on it. Probably because he’s doing the same.


	11. The river Acheron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It always struck him how often people assumed that only really bad people went to hell. Sometimes this was true, other times it was individuals who had sold their souls. Good people, who in a moment of weakness, simply made a terrible and irrevocable choice. They’d beg John to help them, some would cry, some cursed, some screamed, their feet seeming to have a mind of their own as they brought the spirits to their destination. Once a spirit began the path toward their final resting place, there was no leaving. No matter how hard one fought, if they were going to hell, they were going kicking and screaming if need be.They were the ones he hated seeing the most. Marked from top to bottom in gruesome bite marks and scratches, the kind that only a hell hound could leave. They often reminded him of his father and what he had been through in hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Shadow realm isn’t at all like John remembers from his visit last week. Usually there is a certain ambiance about it that often mirrors its protector Erebus’ emotions. John has seen the shadow realm in just about almost every state, hazy wisps of amber cast upon swirling puffs of smoke and brimstone--for when the unexpected escape of spirits from tartarus anger Erebus. He know what rivers will take him there, and although few creatures can physically hurt him in this realm, he has never willingly strayed that far down the riverbeds. The hellish screams and inhuman growls were always enough to keep him at bay. He’s seen the shadow realm at its neutral state where a gentle bluish fog sets evenly throughout the realm. The sound of it not unlike the vacant soft echoing one often hears when snow fails rapidly in a quiet city. And then there’s the newly found happy state, still without a doubt filled with an eerie fog--cause it is the shadow world after all-- only this time better lit and dead quiet. The sort of quiet that is calming. John suspects that Erebus does this so they can find each other more easily.This is always the hardest to explain to Mariel. Memories of her flood John's head, bringing a sting to his heart and eyes, God he misses her already.

 

“How can the shadow realm ever be happy, you’re only there if you're dead, going to tartarus, or  at some point of you seriously pissed of a god!” Mariel would always shriek. John would then launch into the explanation of his and Erebus’ new found “relationship’ for lack of a better word and how this had caused the realm to take on a more happier ambiance as of late. He also made sure to correct her too. The shadow realm always took on a negative connotation for those not familiar with it, but really it was just a resting place for all spirits even those destined for paradise. His thoughts of Mariel are suddenly ripped away when a certain foreign feeling hits him deep in his grace.

 

Looking around the shadow realm now, he feels slightly anxious if he’s honest about himself. He would suspect that Erebus would be happy to see him, especially after the last time they met up. John’s cheeks warm at the memory. It was their first time being intimate together, and if John’s feeling brave enough to admit, his first time being with someone like that, ever. He wanted so bad to tell Mar, she was the only one who he could confide in with this kind of stuff, they were twins after all.. Samuel had found out one day when he had overheard John and Mar talking. Johnny was pissed at first, but his anger abated very quickly soon after, Samuel was only 14, John remembered what that was like. Snooping on your older siblings was practically a rite of passage at that age. Yet, John had never went further than telling Mariel that he was seeing Erebus. He guessed that embarrassment may have made him reluctant.

 

He and Mar were both sixteen and he knew that she had already been with her boyfriend Payton before. They were comfortable telling each other these things, but something about coming to the game so late made him a bit self-conscious. His sister and now all his friends had already been with a girl or a guy by now, and it just weighed heavier on him than he had thought it would. He hoped that he could still have the chance to tell Mariel now more than ever. It’s funny what you wish you could have told someone before they were gone, John thinks to himself. He quickly shakes that thought from his head. “Not gone, taken, And we are getting her back” he mumbles to himself.

 

Clearing his head, he focused back on the moment at hand. Right now the shadow world looked dark, incredibly so. It was almost impossible to see save for the ball of grace he had formed in his hand as a mediocre flashlight, and the unexpected overcast coming from where Castiel was standing behind him. John turned to get better look, and found himself squinting at the sudden shift from near total darkness to bright white light. What he saw momentarily stole his breath. He suspects that the same could be said for Cassius if his own gasp of awe is anything to go by.

 

Castiel looks, well he looks absolutely beautiful. The closest that any of them have ever come to seeing his true form,John thinks. As nephilim, they were limited by their human side in many ways. While they could see wings and grace just fine, they never were able to see beyond their father’s human vessel. The face of a man once known as James Novack was the only one they had ever known. But now Castiel looks downright angelic. He still retains his familiar human form, but his head is now circled by an actual halo of bright white light. It gave his features a soft heavenly glow. His eyes aren't alight with blue grace as John has become accustomed to seeing when his father is “all mojo-ed up” as his Dean, the one that raised him, often called it throughout his childhood. No, this time they are bright but filled with what reminds him of galactic stardust. Hues of soft purples, pinks and blues across a black background, smattered with white star light specks. The inky blackness of it covers his entire eye, blocking out all remnants of the white and blue that would normally be found there. John also notices that his wings are  out. They too have a soft whitish light emanating from each iridescent black feather. The dark black fog of the shadow realm seems to be rising and falling around him, but never touching him. Almost as if repelled by the light and power of the being before it.

 

“I understand that this form can be a little alarming” Castiel says, clearing his throat shyly. Turning his stardust filed eyes to John and Cassius he continues. “This is but a small glimpse of my true form, it seems that this realm has lowered certain grace binding parameters that would normally exist on earth. Anyway, it appears that it might actually be quite useful here, since it his rather difficult to see” Castiel says squinting toward the darkness.

 

“Holy shit Pop! You look badass. I wish dad was here to see you like this, He would have loved it” Cassius says, throwing a cheesy smile the angels’ way. John eagerly nods his head in approval, causing Castiel to drop his head shyly.

 

“Thank you” he says bashfully.

 

“Okay guys, lets get the ball rolling here. Make sure you follow my lead okay?” John asks as he begins to trek through the darkness.

 

“Wait dude, shouldn't we like, I don’t know let pop lead or something?” Cassius asks. “I mean he practically our token Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer. Maybe we should let him guide the sleigh or whatever”.

 

“No offense to pop, but no one knows this realm better than I do. I could navigate this place any day, even without light”. John says proudly.

 

And he means it. The first time he ever entered the shadow realm was when he was just a boy. Maybe six or seven years old. He had started accidentally astral projecting in his sleep. It took awhile for Dean and Cas to realize that he wasn’t just having wild dreams but actually leaving his body to travel all over the world and to various realms. He was definitely afraid that first time in the shadow realm, but that was when he met Erebus. John smiles as he thinks about the memory. Him being seven and scared to death, crying out for daddy and poppa as he sat on the cold stone floor with his knees drawn up. Some of the nicer spirits had come by, trying to cheer him up. Spirits of women and grandmother’s who were passing by on their way to paradise where they hoped to be reunited with their loved ones. But they too scared him. They came to them as they had died, so at seven, the sight of blood stained gowns, pale skin or mangled faces really terrified him. Even those who had died peacefully in their sleep had quite a ghoulish appearance. Now, after having practically made the shadow realm a second home, John no longer felt fear when seeing the spirits. Their appearance no longer phased him. Still he remembered how relieved he was to see Erebus. John remembers how his big strong arms scooped his little body up in a protective embrace all the while cooing words of reassurance into his ear.

 

“Wha--what’s your name” John had asked him as he hiccuped through his tears.

 

“I am Erebus little one,” He said, electric grey eyes meeting big round green ones. “Do not be afraid. You are very special little one, I have been waiting a very long time for you. Not many can come to my home. You are a welcomed guest and I will protect you”.

 

Something about his smile, the warmth, it filled John’s small body with happiness and made him feel safe then. Still does now. Ever since then Erebus has been his guardian, then his best friend and now his lover. John supposes that Erebus probably knew where their relationship would go all along, and while he’s never really believed in destiny, somehow being with Erebus just feels right.

 

Still, the current state of the shadow realm alarms him. He knows this place like the back of his hand, and yet he has never seen it so dark and empty. More worrisome, it has never taken Erebus this long to find him. Still he keeps moving forward through the inky black abyss. After twenty minutes, his heart really starts to pound. Something is definitely not right. His panic must be evident on his face because Castiel is already throwing worried glances this way.

 

“Ioaniel, what is it?” Castiel asks in enochian. John thinks that he must sense something is up because he’s choosing to use a language he knows no other being here will understand. Castiel’s wings continue to fidget with anticipation as he waits for a response.

 

“I don’t know, but something is off” In all the times that I’ve ever been here Erebus has always met me immediately. And never once has the shadowland been this dark and this quiet. We should have atleast encountered some spirits by now”. John says grimly.

 

“Erebus!” He calls out. He’s impressed with his own ability to keep his worry hidden. When nothing seems to happen John shrugs at Cassius and tries again. “Erebus! éla se ména!” He yells in greek. “Erebus! come to me!”. Still nothing. Then suddenly a voice emerges from the dark.

 

“You won’t find your lover here nephilim!” the voice hisses. It is a voice unlike any John has heard. It sounds mangled and evil. Not like the simple spirits that often pass through the shadow realm.

 

“Show yourself to me spirit, don’t be afraid” John says glancing in the direction where the voice had come..  
The figure begins to step into the overcast of light created by both John’s ball of grace and Castiel’s halo. John instantly relaxes when the familiar face comes into view. It is a spirit that he had met during his last visit. A sweet mother who had been taken too soon by cancer. John had bumped into her as she was heading to paradise. Her voice was soft and cheerful as she shared her anticipation for the long awaited reunion she would have with her own mother. John was always happy to meet someone heading to paradise. Those heading to purgatory or the inferno were less than chatty, naturally. It always struck him how often people assumed that only really bad people went to hell. Sometimes this was true, other times it was individuals who had sold their souls. Good people, who in a moment of weakness, simply made a terrible and irrevocable choice. They’d beg John to help them, some would cry, some cursed, some screamed, their feet seeming to have a mind of their own as they brought the spirits to their destination. Once a spirit began the path toward their final resting place, there was no leaving. No matter how hard one fought, if they were going to hell, they were going kicking and screaming if need be.They were the ones he hated seeing the most. Marked from top to bottom in gruesome bite marks and scratches, the kind that only a hellhound could leave. They often reminded him of his father and what he had been through in hell.

 

“Alena,” John sighs in relief. His relief is immediately replaced with apprehension upon realizing that she should not be here. Spirits can not stray from their path, he thinks to himself. Alena should have been in paradise by now. This couldn’t be her. It had to be something that wanted him to think it was her. “Why haven't you passed yet, it's been a week?” John asks, shining his grace on her. She hisses, shrinking back into the darkness, but not enough that John can not see her. She is covered in brimstone. Various whip and burn marks making their way across her arms and chest. But what disturbs John the most are her eyes, a deep inky black, Just like a…

 

“Demon” John says grimly. How the hell had a demon made its way to the shadow realm. The doors to tartarus, the inferno, hell, whatever you wanted to call it where heavily warded by Erebus’ power. Only those on the destined path entered, but no one ever left from that way. If Demons made it to earth it was through some other hatch door, John was sure of it. If a Demon was here than Erebus was in a lot more trouble than he initially thought.

 

“Yes, yes, putting it together now nephilim? Hmmm” the demon cackles maniacally. “Yes, things have certainly changed since you've last been down here whoring about with that enslaver Erebus”.

 

John flinches at that. Despite the situation, his relationship with Erebus is not something he wants Cassius and Castiel to hear about so implicitly. He struggles to maintain his composure momentarily before resuming a look of indifference, not quick enough however. The demon’s eyes seemed to glow with delight at seeing John’s discomfort.

 

“Oh that’s right, I know everything about your time down here, Slut!” The demon spits angrily. “Erebus, I’ve never done this before” It mocks, voice raising in feigned innocence. "Erebus, oh god, harder aaaahh, right there yeeeees!” it teases, sliding its hands suggestively over its vessels breast and privates. “You were practically a natural” it purrs.

 

John is instantly mortified, try as he might for a rebuttal, his overwhelming embarrassment seems to be keeping him at a stand still. Dad wasn’t lying when he said Demons knew what buttons to push, John thinks to himself. He barely lasted thirty seconds with this one, how on earth Dean had has lasted forty years, he’d never know.

 

“That’s enough asshat!” Cassius' voice booms. Stepping next to John he places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing to provide his little bother with extra comfort. John is thankful for the much needed reprieve as he fights to recompose himself. “Now you’re gonna tell us how the fuck you crawled out of the piece of shit hole you came from in the first place” Cassius growls, wings snapping out in anger. Like Castiel’s they also seem to give off a glow of their own in the darkness.

 

“Why would I tell you sweet thing” the demon asks, forked tongue flickering out towards Cassius seductively. “Tell you what, I’ll tell you anything you want if Johnny here can spread so easily for me as he did for the overseer” It cackles wickedly.

 

“Well there’s that” Cassius says smugly “Or… my pop here can burn your pathetic little life out of existent right where you stand".  
As if on cue, Castiel takes a menacing step forward. His galaxy filled eyes burrowing into the Demon. When he speaks it is a language that neither John nor Cassius can decipher completely. There are bits of Enochian strone about here and there but it's too different. More guttural and harsh. John suspects that it is old. Perhaps a language that demons developed after the fall. Whatever Castiel says seems to do the trick however, because the demon instantly cowers back toward the shadows.

 

“Fine, fine, I will tell you” it says reluctantly. “But it wouldn’t matter anyway. She’s gonna win and she’s gonna kill you all in the process” It says on a hysterical laugh.

 

“She?” Castiel prompts. “Explain yourself demon!”

 

“Aion, the timeless one. She has captured that retched Erebus and in the process she has already begun to set some of us free” It shrieks delightedly. “Her plan is already set in motion, you can’t stop her. Now that she’s got herself a one of a kind human/angel battery, she’s stronger than you can ever know”.

“Mariel! Where is she you peice of shit?!” Cassius yells. He steps forward grabbing the demon by the neck and lifting it off the ground. It shrieks at the contact, the grace from Cassius very being burning it. It desperately tries to recoil but Cassius doesn't let up. His eyes begin to glow as he increases the amount of grace flowing from his body. The demon yells in agony. Finally after a couple seconds it cries out for mercy.

 

“Okay, stop...stop. I don’t know where she is but I can tell you where Erebus is” it whines.

 

“Why the fuck would that be any help, I want my sister you dick!” Cassius fires up his grace once more, resuming his torment of the demon. John knows that Cassius is only trying to keep up appearances to scare the demon, but hearing him pretend that he has little care for Erebus well-being, hurts him, even if it’s all for show.

 

“Because!...because if you can find Erebus you can find Aion. and if you find her… you, you can stop her from freeing more of us and turning this place upside down. Then...then maybe you’ll find the girl too” The demon offers.

 

“Huh, You’re gonna have to do a little better than that asshole” Cassius growls. He flares his grace in warning.

 

“Fi..fine, he is near the gates, Follow the Acheron river, the river of woe, until its end, until you reach hell's gates. You know the way slut” It says to John angrily. “Now I’ve told you all I know, let me go!” it hisses.

 

“With pleasure” Castiel says. Stepping forward he places a hand onto the demon's forehead, smiting it to the core without a second's glance. “Let’s go find my daughter“ he says to John, halo blazing and voice multiplied unnaturally.

 

“Yes sir” and with that John leads them toward the gates of hell and hopefully to Mariel and Erebus.

 

Catching up to John, Cassius swings a comforting arm around his shoulders.

 

“You okay bro? Demons can be real dicks, you know what dad always says. Dad must've been a real badass to be able deal with them as long as he did” Cassius says proudly.

 

“Amen to that” they say in unison.  
After a beat John speaks again.

 

“You know, I..I have been with Erebus. You know, like that” John says, eyes cast toward the floor, blush high on his cheeks.

 

“I figured, Samuel has never been good with keeping secrets” Cassius says lightheartedly.

 

The two laugh at that.

 

“Look man, you can always come to me with anything. Even with stuff like that. I know I’m not Mar, but you’re my little brother dude. No matter what, I’m here for you. Also, I’ve had more than my fair share of rodeos, so trust me nothing you say is gonna faze me” Cassius chuckles. "I’m just sorry that a piece of shit demon had to put your business out there before you wanted to. It had no fucking right” he says angrily.

 

“It’s alright man. Fuck that demon. I’m not ashamed of what I did with Erebus and I don’t regret it for a second. I..I love him” John whispers.

 

“I hear you man” Cassius says, patting John on the shoulders reassuringly. “I’m sure he’s a great dude...deity?… god? Whatever I’m sure he a nice person”.

 

“Yeah, he is” John beems.  
They continue to walk in amicable silence for a few more minutes.

 

“Sooooo...is he good in bed?” Cassius teases.

 

“Cassie!!” John practically shrieks. John playfully pushes him away, then again when Cassius attempts to give him a noogie.

 

“Yes, by the way” John chuckles. “He actually is”.  
They laugh for a little longer before falling into another comfortable silence.

 

From behind, Castiel regards them endearingly. Their brotherly playfulness makes him long for Dean. He hopes that everything is okay on their side at least. And then he does something he hasn’t done in a very long time. He prays to his brothers for Dean, Sam and Samuel’s protection, for the strength to protect John and Cassius as they prepare to possibly face Aion a second time and most of all he prays for Mariel’s safety. He prays.


	12. En Olapireta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stop that!” Aion hisses. “If you burn out your soul now, you will be of no use to me! Do not test me child, the day you become useless to me, is the day I will go after one of your beloved brothers. Remember, the choice was either you or one of them, and we both know what choice you made”. Waving her hand over the shackles, Aion quickly lets out an ancient greek incantation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darkness. She can feel it creeping around her grace like a sickness. Like a cancer. She wants to fight it, with all that is her very being she wants to kick out and scream, but she’s never felt this powerless before. For as long as she could remember, too much power has always been her problem.

 

Another jerk on her chains pulls Mariel from her thoughts. Aion leads the way, walking gracefully as though she were frolicking through a field of flowers rather than through the stench and rot of hell. Out of spite, Mariel flares her grace again, but like the dozens of other times, the chains that bind her do not so much as even sizzle. Aion lets out a drawn out cackle.

 

“Oh my dear, when will you accept that you are bound to me so long as I wish. These wards I have embellished upon your chains have been created by one of the greatest gods in all of creation. I bet you can guess who that might be” Aion says condescendingly.  “You see child, these bindings were made to hold creatures far stronger than you, titans, if you will. Now those things were a force to be reckoned with back in my day”. Then sighing with nostalgia, “Oh my, weren’t those the days. When us Gods and Goddesses ruled the heavens and the earth and the seas. Moved mountains as we saw fit, controlled destiny and time. When the mud monkeys knew who their rightful owners were. Before tales of a silly little carpenter stole the hearts of man.” She sneers.

 

Mariel all but growls her disdain, eyes burrowing into the back of Aion’s walking figure. And then, because she’s a Winchester, she lets loose another flare of grace. This time the chains at least glow with heat. For a moment Aion almost looks worried that the chains might break, but quickly recovers when nothing else happens. Mariel smiles proudly at that.

 

“My, you do not disappoint, that is for sure my dear. And to think I almost went for that baby brother of yours, Samuel. Oh to have the gift of foresight! Imagine just what I could do if I could see my opponents every intention before they even knew they had it. But you Mariel, you are in a league of your own. You don’t even know how powerful you are, do you?”. She turns sharply so that she faces Mariel. Then, grabbing Mariel’s chin in a rough embrace she says, “Big plans my dear. Big plans”. Her eyes glow amber with delight.

 

Mariel yanks her head back angrily. “Don’t touch me you Harlot! If you’re so big and bad, why don’t you take of these binds and face me yourself!” She sneers. She pushes her grace as far as she can, feeling her wings snap out and her eyes blaze bright. It hurts, God it hurts, but she’s too pissed to care. The shackles begin to shake and bend with her effort. “So close” she thinks. She’s burning up inside but she pushes harder.She doesn’t want to be in this twisted trap of hate and pain. She wants to be home with her family. She wants her Dad and Poppa. So she pushes, and pushes, feeling her very boundaries shake with the force of her grace. Inside, the pain radiates, a deep rooted pain, almost like it’s coming from her core. From her soul..,

 

“Stop that!” Aion hisses. “If you burn out your soul now, you will be of no use to me! Do not test me child, the day you become useless to me, is the day I will go after one of your beloved brothers. Remember, the choice was either you or one of them, and we both know what choice you made”. Waving her hand over the shackles, Aion quickly lets out an ancient Greek incantation.

 

Mariel only catches the tail end of it but she knows it's a strengthening spell. Just as she suspected, the shackles bind tighter over her grace, forcing her to power completely down. Instantly her fury turns to despair. She doesn’t know how she is going to get out of this. She’s never known this feeling, this complete and utter graceless feeling. She feels weak and she hates it. It’s not that she thinks humans are weak because they lack grace, after all she’s half of Dean and she knows better than to use Dean Winchester and weak in the same sentence. The thing is, as long as she can remember she’s always had her grace.  She’s always felt it flowing strong and warm inside her. Just as she feels her poppa’s familiar grace when she’s near him, knows that it is the same one that flows inside of her and her brothers. She misses him so much in this very moment. He would know what to do, she thinks. He’s always known what to do. Her mind flashes back to memories of Castiel.

 

When she was little Castiel would sit her on his lap and tell her stories about his days as a master strategist in his garrison. How he devised whole attack plans and led legions to Hell’s gates. She would cuddle up close, soft downy wings cradled by her Poppa’s large strong raven wings and listen to the story of how her poppa and daddy first met.

 

“I flew with all my might Mariel, the strength of the host and my brethren flowing within me. Just like this!” He would say as he’d toss her in the air. She would always snap out her wings, flapping them happily while she pretended that she could fly just like her poppa. “Then, I saw it, it was like no other light I had ever seen. It was beautiful and brave. Defiant and full of so much love. I didn’t know yet what love was, but I knew that once I saw that light I would never be the same. Do you know what that little light was _En Olapireta_ ?” He’d ask. _My light_ , Castiel always called her that in Enochian, even up until his disappearance.

 

“Daddy!” Mariel would scream. Giggles racking her small body.

 

“That is right, _En Olapireta_. It was Daddy. Shining brightly despite all the bad things that had happened to him. Remember Mariel, that same light shines in you, not just your grace but also the strength of the human soul. So even if you are afraid, you must never give up. No matter what, you can overcome anything, just like your Daddy. Never forget that” He’d say.

 

“I won’t Poppa” Mariel whispers to herself now, snapping back to reality. She isn’t weak and she will get out of this, one way or another. Her grace may be temporarily gone, but she can feel a new kind of familiarity deep inside her. The presence of two burning balls of light pulling at her own. “Souls” she whispers to herself. There were only three human souls in the whole wide world that could pull so strongly at her own soul, and she sensed that two of them were close now.  “Cassius and Johnny” She sighed. “ I hope you guys know what the hell you're doing”, she prayed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“What the hell is taking them so long?!” Dean yells. Starting his pacing up once more, he quickly makes his way to and from Sam before asking again.

 

“Dean, look, I know you're nervous man, but you're gonna have to try and relax. Cassius and Johnny are smart kids. This isn’t new for them, they can handle it” Sam says holding out his giant Sasquatch hands in a comforting gesture.

 

“Sam…” Dean warns.

 

“All I’m saying is, we just have to trust them. Trust Cas, you know he wouldn’t let anything happen to them”. Sam finishes

 

At that Dean settles a bit. Dean trusts Cas with his life. More importantly, he’s trusted Cas with Sam’s life before. He knows his angel is more than capable, but that still doesn't stop him from worrying anyway. He’s Dean Winchester, worry could be the title of his autobiography. He just wishes he could at least _be there._ He wishes there was at least some way he could know if Cas is alright.

 

He continues his pacing before stopping dead in his tracks. _The bond_. The bond! Maybe, just maybe he can somehow connect with Cas through it, try and feel if he’s at least alive. But before he can even try testing the damn thing out, Samuel interjects.

 

“That’s a great idea Dad! See what happens”.

 

“How did you you even know...” Dean asks, somewhat bewildered

 

“I can sense intentions remember, it’s kinda my thing” Samuel shrugs.

 

“Right, sorry still not use to the whole powers thing yet. You should really look into law enforcement when your old enough kid, you'd knock it right out of the park" Dean says. Taking a deep breath he continues. " Okay so how do I get it to work?” he asks. “It’s not like I can just dial his number or something”.

 

“So the bond _has_ been formed, Dean that’s great news! I wasn't sure If I should mention it because, well…”, Sam hesitates “I just didn’t want to risk pushing you toward anything or altering the future more than it is, you know?”

 

“Yea Sammy, I get it”, Dean says. He tries not to think to hard about this whole future thing. He knows he's probably changing a lot of things, but there isn't much he can do about it now. he didn't ask to be here, so he's just going to focus on what he can control. “So, how do I use it”.

 

“Well, it’s not something you can just do, you gotta feel it I think” Sam offers, eyebrows raising with his uncertainty. “I’m not exactly sure, but that’s how you’ve described it to me in the past...future, whatever”.

 

“Okay, thanks a lot Samantha, that’s very touching and all, but not very helpful”, Dean throws back at him.

 

"Just trying to help" Sam's says, stepping back with his hands thrown up in defeat.

"I know Sammy, I'm sorry", Dean says, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I'm just a little on edge. A lot is at stake here".  Sam nods his head in understanding. He's always been good at knowing when to let Dean, be Dean. “Okay, okay, feel it Dean. Come on, just..feel it.” Deans whispers to himself, screwing his eyes shut in concentration. After a beat nothing happens. Not even so much as a tingle. Finally he lets out a sigh, "Okay, you know what,  I give up”.

 

“Maybe, you need to be reminded of him, something that feels familiar” Samuel offers.

He walks up to Dean and places his hand on his shoulder, right above the mark. The one that Cas gave him so many years ago. The one that changed him forever, deep in the darkness of hell. Instantly, a zing of familiarity shoots up Deans arm and hits him square in the chest, right where his heart is. But he feels it deeper than just in his heart, he feels it in his very soul. It feels like home. Like the impala on a warm summer day, windows rolled down and Zeppelin II blaring. It feels like Cas, though his soul knows it's not. It’s just a part of him, the part that splinters off into Samuel and his siblings.

 

Samuel lets go, but it's enough to get the job done, Dean can feel the desire bubbling up inside, not the hot and heavy kind, but the desire you feel when you've been too far from home for too long. He doesn’t feel whole and he longs for the part that will make him complete. He takes a deep breath, relaxing. He trust himself when it comes to this, he and Cas will always find each other. Heaven, hell and purgatory have been a testimony to that. He trusts their bond to not fail them now.

 

“Got him”, Dean sighs with relief. He can feel Cas’ own happiness  through the bond. Satisfaction that Dean has finally figured out how to connect with him in this new way. _Yea, you son of a bitch, you’re not getting away from me that easily,_ Dean thinks. The bond shimmers with playfulness at that.

 

“Well?” Sam prompts.

 

“He’s fine, I think. I don’t feel anything like worry or fear” Dean says.

 

Being connected to Cas in this new way feels strange to Dean. Not in a bad way, but it almost feels like he and Cas’ feelings are one. He is aware of his own feelings, but they feel amplified somehow, kinda like he’s taken one too many ecstasy tabs. It feels good, really good. Dean feels alive and clean in a way he hasn’t felt in a very long time. He just hopes that Cas isn’t scared off by feeling what’s inside of Dean so directly. His mood darkens with worry at the thought, and he instantly feels Cas’ displeasure. He worry’s for an instant that its displeasure at him, at having the bond, but then waves of assurance wash over him through the bond. He takes a deep breath and sends his own back. Cas has never been a fan of Dean's self loathing. It appears that hasn't changed now that the angel can feel it directly.

 

“Yeah, okay buddy. I hear ya, I’ll cut it out” Dean smiles.

 

“Well that’s a relief” Samuel says. He throws a pleased look at Sam, and the two seem to exchange something silently over a look.

 

Dean regards them, wondering just what the hell the silent library gig is for. If he didn’t know any better he’d say the two know something he doesn't. He decides to ask about it.

 

“Hey you two, what the hell is up with the weird googly eyes….” Before he can finish, the strongest wave of adrenaline and anger come crashing through the bond. That kind of combination is associated with something Dean knows all too well. A fight. The emotions hit him so strongly that he stumbles back into Sam.

 

“Dean?! What is it?!” Sam asks catching the brunt of his weight.

 

Another wave of anger hits him, followed by intense fear and pain. Cas is hurt and he’s pissed. Fuck, Dean can feel it just as if it were his own pain. Underneath it he feels the fear, knows that it’s not for Cas’ life but for the lives of those he loves. Their kids.

  
“Shit Sammy”, Dean grunts. “Something’s wrong. Something's really fucking wrong”.


	13. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassius briefly considers it, he could really use some help, but before he can say anything, a shift on the outside of the barrier catches his attention. The demons have suddenly stopped their relentless banging and scratching. Now they all begin to wail with fear, cowering as they part to allow a new figure through. The new figure walks through with a swagger that suggest that he holds a high rank in hell’s domain. He whistles a tune that sounds oddly like Sinatra's "Cheek to cheek". Cassius squints his eyes, grace allowing him to see further than the average human. The demon looks absolutely horrifying, down to his gaunt starvation-esque figure, greenish skin tone and white eyes. He looks like a dead man walking.
> 
> “Mmmm, my my what do we have here”, It asks, voice projecting in a nasally whine. “Can’t a demon, oh I don’t know, earn a hard day's work in some, mhhm, peace. Lot’s of souls to torture boys, wouldn’t want to interrupt the new guy. It’s only been a decade, but down here time seems to never be enough. He’s got so much promise”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smell of charred flesh burns his nose. _Fuck_ , Fuck! They are everywhere. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Johnny said they wouldn’t be able to touch them, Goddammit! Yet demons have been trying to do more than just touch him for the past ten minutes. He ducks, narrowly managing to keep his head on his shoulders as another demon attempts to swing an ax at him. Reaching up with his left hand, he quickly smites it out of existence. Before he can even  check on Johnny and Cas, another demon tackles him to the ground. This one is even uglier than the last, face mangled, and eye hanging loosely from its socket. It strikes out at him, clawing a very _real_ gash deep into his chest. _Shit, Johnny, you so owe me for this_ , he thinks before gathering his grace and unleashing a force field up and outwards from his core. The demon flies backwards, landing hard on its back. It quickly gets back to it’s feet, crouching on its haunches and then leaping towards him. Cassius catches the demon by the face mid air, and slams it into the ground, smiting it out of existence before its body makes impact with the blood stained dirt on the grounds of hell.

 

“Regroup!” he yells at the top of his lungs. He can feel himself beginning to tire. He’s always known that his connection to the host was the weakest and for that reason he’s given up a long time ago on trying to deny it. Now he recognizes his boundaries for what they are and if he’s gonna have even the slightest chance protecting his pop and Johnny they need to gather under his force field while he still has the juice to make one.

He sees Cas’ head snap up at that. He flies quickly over to John who is struggling with fending of two demons at once. John holds his own, gracefully jumping over one demon, so that he is now between the two. He drops into a spinning crouch and stabs both demons at the same time with his double edged angel blade. Cassius beams proudly at him when their eyes meet. _Atta boy_ , he thinks. His pride  quickly turns to dread when he sees another demon sneak up on John’s blind side. Just as the demon moves to strike, Castiel interjects, blocking the strike moments before impact with his angel blade.

Cassius hears him actually growl, “Get away from my boy, you abomination” before slicing the demon’s head clean off. He grabs John and flies swiftly toward Cassius.

 The moment they are in reach, Cassius throws up his strongest force field, covering about 10 feet around them in each direction. The wall of demons heading towards them instantly collides. They bang angrily at the barrier, but it holds steadily. Cassius allows himself to feel a bit of pride in himself, but he’s not naive. They need to formulate a plan and fast, the barrier won’t hold forever.

 

“What the fuck dude?!” Cassius shrieks at John. “You said they couldn’t touch us!”

 

“And they shouldn’t. Spirits can’t harm a shadow walker or his travelers. But these aren’t spirits Cassie, they’re demons. They shouldn’t even be here!” Then more to himself, “How the fuck are they getting out of hell?".

 

“Aion. It’s the only logical explanation” Castiel provides. His inhuman eyes, with the vast expanse of the galaxy within them, shift to Cassius. “I can sense that Aion is near. So Mariel must be here as well. Aion is the only one powerful enough to open the gates of hell. Whatever she plans to do with Mariel, she must need something from hell to do it. The demons are just a distraction to keep us occupied. She knows we are close and she needs to buy time, so to speak”, He finishes grimly.

 

“But, Erebus is the only God capable of opening hell’s doors, Aion may be a Goddess but this is not her domain, there’s no way she should be able to do this. That’s like if Erebus suddenly tried to change time, it could never happen” John says.

 

 _Wait...Time. Time!_ Cassius brain screams. “That’s it!” he grunts, the opposing pressure of the demons on the other side of the force field forcing him to exert more grace. “Time!, we must be in a different time. It’s the only explanation. Aion is changing the time parameters of hell, to a time where the gates were opened!".

 

“Cassius, you're a fucking genius!” Johnny yells, kissing the top of his brother’s head in excitement.

 

“Yes Cassius, that is more than probable, but the last time the gates of hell were opened, was when the first seal was broken in hell...by the righteous man". If the situation weren’t so serious, Cassius would laugh at the way his Pop’s eyes seem to grow impossibly large as the realization hits all three of them.

 

“Dad”, Johnny and Cassius say together, awe and shock preventing them from saying more.

 

Cassius feels another surge of pressure from outside the force field. The demons seem to be swarming at this rate. They’ve full on surrounded the barrier that Cassius has thrown up on all sides. Releasing a bit more grace, Cassius feels his body begin to strain, but he pushes anyway. The barrier strengthens, much to the demons disappointment.  

 

“Cassius are you alright?”, Castiel asks, deep concern marking his features. “ perhaps we should connect now?”.

 

Cassius briefly considers it, he could really use some help, but before he can say anything, a shift on the outside of the barrier catches his attention.  The demons have suddenly stopped their relentless banging and scratching. Now they all begin to wail with fear, cowering as they part to allow a new figure through. The new figure walks through with a swagger that suggest that he holds a high rank in hell’s domain. He's whistling a tune that sounds oddly like Sinatra's "Cheek to cheek".  Cassius squints his eyes, grace allowing him to see further than the average human. The demon looks absolutely horrifying, down to his gaunt starvation-esque figure, greenish skin tone and white eyes. He looks like a dead man walking.

 

“Mmmm, my my what do we have here”, It asks, voice projecting in a nasally whine. “Can’t a demon, oh I don’t know, earn a hard day's work in some, mhhm, peace. Lot’s of souls to torture boys, wouldn’t want to interrupt the new guy. It’s only been a decade, but down here time seems to never be enough. He’s got so much promise”.

 

The demon continues to swagger on up to the edge of the barrier. In the bluish light reflecting off the force field, the demon manages to look even more daunting. His sickly green skin looks deteriorated with age and infection. His hair is sparse and oily, hanging limply, his white eyes sunken in.

 

Cassius has no idea who this lanky motherfucker is, but he has a feeling Castiel does, if his shocked expression is anything to go by. Castiel’s expression quickly shifts to something akin to murderous rage.

 

“Alastair” Castiel growls out in disgust, spitting onto the ground.

 

“Oh, a fan I see. Although, I can’t say I know you angel, nor do I know your half breeds here”, Alastair says. He approaches the barrier, drawing a finger across the service  teasingly. “Mhhhm, my isn’t this interesting. I wonder what other things you can do, pretty”, he says, eyeing Cassius as if he were the demons very own pound of flesh. “I wonder,mmmmh, you look so much like him, like the righteous man. Down to those pretty, pretty lips. I wonder if you will scream as prettily as he did , when I cut into you. Maybe cry even prettier when I teach you how to torture. You should just see the righteous man now. See what I've turned him into, the boy is a natural. I think you’ll be too!” He growls out as he bursts through the barrier.

 

Cassius’ heart damn near leaps into his throat. At first. He worries that the rest of the demons will be able to step through as well, but to his relief and the demons disappointment, Alastair seems to be the only exception. Cassius can see Alastair heading straight towards him, but he can’t afford to break off his concentration for one minute if he wants the barrier to hold off the hundreds of demons waiting outside.

 

Cassius braces himself for Alastair’s strike, but it never comes. Before the white eyed demon is able to follow through, he is tackled to the ground by a furious Castiel. The two tumble to the ground  in a heap of fury and aggression. Alastair manages to to throw the angel off . Castiel flips backwards, wings fluttering to soften his landing, as he lands gracefully onto his feet. He draws his angel blade with a growl.

 

“My oh my, angel you fight as if you know me. As if you have a grudge, mmmh, against me”, Alastair says in his nasally voice. He throws out his hands at his sides, grunting as his nails extend into gruesome claws at least 2 feet in length. “But, if it’s a fight you want, who am I to deny you?”.

 

Cassius watches as the two crash into each other once more. Alastair delivering swipe after swipe of his gruesome claws, Castiel arching out of the way and parrying each blow with his own swipe of his angel blade.

 

Cassius grunts in pain. He can feel his grace nearing its limits. He’s honestly surprised he was able to to even hold out this long. God, he’s exhausted, but he knows that he can’t drop the barrier. If he does, it will all be over with. There’s no way the three of them could fight off hundreds of demons.

 

“Cassius, here let me help, I can connect with you”, Johnny offers as he moves to grab Cassius’ hand.

 

“No! Get back!”. Cassius yells. He can’t drag Johnny into this. He doesn’t want to use too much of his grace. Besides, this Alastair asshole seems to be a lot stronger that he initially thought. Castiel is holding his own but, it’s a struggle. Alastair is slowly gaining the upper hand.

 

“Johnny! Help Pop!” Cassius commands. Johnny, noticing Castiel in need of help, nods his head dutifully without question.

 

Castiel hisses in pain as another one of Alastair’s claws makes contact. This blow is deeper than the rest. Johnny can see the beginnings of Castiel’s grace seeping through the wound. Before the demon can capitalize on his success, John’s double edge angel blade slices deep into its shoulder. Alastair screams out in pain. Wiping around with inhuman speed, the demon knocks John backwards, into the barrier, causing his head to collide painfully. He crumples to the floor nearly unconscious. Alastair reels around toward Castiel once more. Grabbing him by the neck and lifting him several inches off the floor. Castiel’s wings flutter in panic as he tries to break free. His halo begins to flicker in and out as the demon increases his choke hold.

 

 _Fuck!_ Cassius knows he needs to help his father, but he can’t drop the barrier. A quick glance at John tells him that his little brother is alive but definitely out for the count. _Fuck, fuck this is so bad._ He can feel the barrier beginning to give way, each time he tries to gather enough grace to mount an attack on Alastair.

 

“Dammit, what good is this grace if I can even use it. Why am I so fucking weak?!” he grunts in frustration.

 

Screw this, he has to do something, and if he has to burn out his soul trying, than so be it.  Gathering as much of his grace as possible he turns to Alastair, but before he can mount his attack, a burst of bright lights descends upon hell’s doors. Bursting through with a fury that can only be nothing but divine.

 

“Angels” Cassius whispers in awe. There’s hundreds of them, no thousands. All of them are decked out in angelic warrior gear. Bits of silver and gold encasing their chests, forearms and calves. Their halos and angel blades seem to glow through the Darkness. He can see that each garrison has an Enochian insignia on their breast plates. Another swarm of angels descends upon the demons that have previously been trying to burst through the barrier. A battle ensues as the angels and demons clash. Cassius sees his break and he takes it. Dropping the barrier, he gathers the last of his fleeting grace and shoots it directly at Alastair's form. All of his anger, all of his shortcomings, his frustrations, seem to flow out of him in one big burst of grace. The moment his grace collides with Alastair’s ghoulish form, the demon shrieks in pain and then, much to Cassius’ relief, collapses in a heap of burnt flesh. Cassius moves to finish him off, but Castiel stops him abruptly.

 

“Pop, what the hell?!” Cassius shrieks. “Let’s finish this asshole!”.

 

“Cassius, we can’t! As much as I hate this abomination” He spits, “He must live. He has a role to play in the future and killing him now can seriously alter the progression of our lives as we know it. Too many things hang in the balance, and we must let things proceed as they should”.

 

Cassius gives him a confused and pained look at that.

 

“Cassiel, please, I need you to just...just trust me” Castiel pleads.

 

“Okay, pop” Cassius breathes out. He knows what Castiel is referring to. Stopping the apocalypse, Castiel’s decision to disobey, he and dad’s relationship, hell even their own existence, could be altered from this one change alone. As much as it pains Cassius to let the asshole who hurt their father so badly live, he knows that it’s the right decision. “Okay, I trust you” he says.

 

Castiel, sags in relief at that. “Okay, get your brother, we have to regroup”.

 

Cassius runs to John who appears to be coming to. He narrowly dodges an angel and demon fight as he drops to his brother’s side.

 

“Hey little brother, how you holding up?” Cassius asks gently, checking him over for any serious injuries. He sighs with relief when he finds none.

 

“Yeah”, John coughs, “Just a little banged up, but I’m good”. Then, as if finally noticing the chaos around them, “Woah! Angels, what the hell is going on”.

 

“This is the day we laid siege to hell in search of the righteous man. The day I raised your father from perdition.” Castiel says, voice awed.

 

“Well what do we do, we can’t just stay out here, Mariel is close. It’s hard to explain but I can feel it in...in my soul, I think. Aion must have her grace bounded, but I can still find her in there”. Cassius says as he points to hell’s gates.

 

“Alright, lead the way Cassius, we don’t have much time” Castiel says as he moves to enter hell.

 

“Pop wait, you can’t go in there!” Cassius  yells, stepping into Castiel’s path and blocking him. “If you go in there, there is a chance that you can run into your old self, or that an angel may recognized you. That would definitely fuck up the time continuum. I know you want to save Mar, we all do, but this could be collateral damage that no amount of grace could restore if someone see’s you. As far as every angel and demon here should know, only one Castiel is here and that’s the you from 8 years ago”.

 

Cassius can see the war going on within his father. The angel seems to jump back and forth between what his heart is telling him and what logic says. He looks at Cassius hopelessly.

 

“Cassiel, we can’t just leave, her. I won't! Not when we’ve come so close”, Castiel offers brokenly. Even as the words leave his mouth, Cassius can already see that he knows what must be done.

 

“You won’t be leaving her Pop. Switch places with Samuel, and the three of us will go into hell and get her back. No one will recognize us and if they do they’ll just see three half angels, nothing that can really alter the timeline too much. It’s the only way!” Cassius pleads.

 

“No!, I will not leave my children to this den of suffering. I’ve already seen what hell has done to your father, to your uncle!. I’d rather see myself damned then let another Winchester that I love, be hurt”. Castiel yells.

 

“Pop, _please!_ This is no different than what you said about Alastair. Trust me” He says, echoing the words Castiel had uttered to him, no even ten minutes ago. “Trust me, please” Cassius pleads.

 

“Okay, _En Ozien, my own”,_ Castiel sighs in defeat. His eyes brim with tears as he grabs onto Cassius face with both hands. “Be Careful, stay together and protect your brothers”, then on a sigh, “Your father is going to kill me when I get back".

 

“He’ll be mad but he’ll understand. He loves you Pop, and he respects your decisions”. Cassius says.

 

Castiel's eyes turn down bashfully, but nonetheless a smile forms on his face. “I know” He says and then, turning to John, he says “I’m ready”.

 

With that Johnny mutters an Enochian blessing and relinquishes him from the shadow realm. Moments later Samuel appears in his place, looking a little disoriented.

 

“Uh, hey, guys” Samuel says hesitantly. Taking in the sight of the all out battle around him, he nods his head at Cassius. “So what’s the plan?”.

 

“Hey baby bro” Cassius says, smiling fondly. “Long, story short, Mariel is just beyond those doors and we are going to get her".

 

“ Also we are currently sometime in the year 2008, and Pop has just laid siege to hell in search of Dad’s soul, apparently” John adds

 

“Okaaaay... man, can this family get any weirder?” Sam says.

 

“Nope” all three say in unison. Despite the tense situation they all laugh.

 

“Alright let’s do this, we’re gonna get our girl back. We got this boys” Cassius says confidently.

 

“Hell yea! That’s what I’m talking about”, John whoops.

  
Three nephilim head into hell’s gates, wings shining brightly behind them. Above, an ominous marking darks in the doorway. _Abandon all hope, ye who enter here._


	14. It's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jesus Cas, No! Are me and Sam not enough proof of what Hell can do to someone down there. Do you have any fucking idea what they did to me… what that bastard Alastair did. They… God Cas, the thought of it makes me want…” to die. Dean trails off before he allows himself to say what those nightmares really bring up for him. Not in front of Samuel, he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't intend to spend much more of the story writing from the kids point of view, however I wanted each kid to have a chapter from their point of view. They are an essential part of the story and each reveals memories and aspects about what Dean and Cas were like as parents. Samuel was the last one. From now on, the story will mostly be from Cas and Dean's perspective . Enjoy  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nope, nah uh, absolutely fucking not”. Dean says, as he shakes his head back and forth frantically. He knows that he’s being a little childish but he doesn’t care. There is no way he is sending one more kid into Hell. If he had it his way, all three of his sons would have their feathery butts back here in the living room while they regroup and find another way to save Mariel.

 

“Dean…” Cas tries, but before he can get another word out Dean’s already running his mouth a mile a minute.

 

“Jesus Cas, No! Are me and Sam not enough proof of what Hell can do to someone down there. Do you have any fucking idea what they did to me… what that bastard Alastair did.  They… God Cas, the thought of it makes me want…” _to die._ Dean trails off before he allows himself to say what those nightmares really bring up for him. _Not in front of Samuel,_ he thinks.

 

Sam must sense his apprehension, because he immediately turns to Samuel and says, “Let’s give them some space kid, yea?”.

 

Samuel gives Dean and Cas one last uneasy look before allowing Sam to usher him into the kitchen.

 

“Dean”, Cas says “I, I couldn’t imagine what that was like for you, but I can feel it. Through the bond, I can feel how much hell’s fires have hurt you, even now. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get to you sooner. It was my biggest failure” He finishes, eyes downtrodden.

 

Dean is hit with an immense wave of remorse, so much so that he takes a step back to regain his bearings. It’s almost like a triple effect. He feels his own pain that he's emitted toward Cas, only to feel the resulting sorrow on Dean’s behalf regurgitated back at him. It’s too much, but Dean is nothing if he isn’t the emotionally stronger one when it comes to he and Cas. Despite being on earth for 8 years, Cas is still new to all this. Hell, Dean’s been here all his life and he still doesn’t understand his own emotions sometimes.

 

“Okay, Cas, let’s just...Let’s just take a breath for a second here”.

 

Dean does his best to send some comfort through the bond, and sighs with relief when it works.

 

“Look, I trust you, I trust your decisions, but you gotta understand where I’m coming from here man. It’s dangerous down there, and I was worried when you were with them, but I knew you could protect them at least. Now, I’m freaking the hell out because they are on their own” Dean says, swiping a hand through his hair.

 

“You don’t think I know that Dean !, Do you think this was an easy decision for me? Few things in my many years have ever been so painful. Not Heaven’s torture, nor any death I have endured, but I had no choice”. The initial anger that had gripped the bond like a vice begins to deteriorate into defeat. “I couldn’t risk changing the future. We could have set the whole apocalypse back on track if any of my brethren recognized me, If I recognized myself! You remember how I was when we first met. I was devoted, a hammer,  nothing could have led me astray from my mission, nothing but you. But, I didn’t know you back then, I hadn’t felt what it was to love you yet.”

 

Dean feels something akin to awe shimmer through the bond before Cas continues. “If I had stayed behind, My old self would have reported me to heaven’s ranks without so much as a blink. Just like that, all we’ve worked for, all we’ve built” Cas says, gesturing around to the house and apparent life they have made here in flatland, “Would be destroyed”.

 

Dean’s heart softens at that. Now that he’s had a chance to voice his fear and worries, he feels more relaxed. He recognizes that choosing to leave their sons behind was not easy. He can feel it through the bond for one, but more intimately he knows it, from experience. How many times had he been forced to let Sam go for the greater good, watch his baby brother fall down the hole to lucifer’s cage not knowing if he’d ever see him again? Sometimes there just isn’t a choice. No matter how much love you have for someone, sometimes you have to let go and have a little faith that they know what they are doing. There are few people that Dean has ever given absolute faith to. At first, that list was only two people strong. Then Cas came and he had three people he’d put all faith in. Now he has four more. Dean has faith in his kids.

 

Sensing Dean’s resolution through the bond, Cas sighs. Dean doesn’t need the bond to know that it is relief, although he feels it shimmer through anyway. He walks over to Cas and, because it just feels right, he places one hand on his cheek and another gently behind his head and pulls him into a soft kiss.

 

The bond damn near catches fire at that. Dean can feel it, so much love that he thinks his soul might explode. Instead of clamping the bond shut, he decides to just finally open himself up. His own love flows through. Finally-- what he could never say, all the things that he wanted to give voice to over the years, since meeting Cas, the three words that were always on the tip of his tongue but that he could never say,-- finally all of it comes through. _I love you, I love you, I love you._

 

The sound of someone clearing their throat breaks them apart, but it there isn’t a quick desire to avoid being caught like before, instead now it’s slow and reluctant. Dean makes sure to hold Cas’ eyes one last time before the angel affectionately rubs his cheek. Only then do they break apart.

 

“Sorry to interrupt, but if you guys are okay with it, I’m ready to go” Samuel says. His big green eyes shine with hope. Dean thinks he looks even more like Cas with his mouth set in a determined line.

  


“Come here, Samuel” Dean says as he waves the kid over. When Samuel is in close enough reach, he and Cas both embrace him. Samuel returns their hug with equal gusto. His small hands grab tightly at their backs. After a beat he releases his parents and steps back.

 

“You listen to whatever Cassius says okay?” Dean says.

 

“Yes, sir”

 

“Trust your grace, it will guide you when hell’s fire seems to burn it’s hottest. Most importantly, stay together and protect each other”, Castiel says.

 

“Yes, sir” Then after a beat, “Okay guys, Johnny’s calling. I gotta go” He moves to sit down on the triangle point that Castiel had previously occupied, but stops abruptly and looks up expectantly at Dean.

 

“What?”, Dean says.

 

“You, kinda gotta let go of me Dad” Samuel says sheepishly as he sends a pointed gaze toward where Dean has his hand in a death grip.

 

“Oh!... Yea, right”, Dean says, releasing his hand. He rubs his neck shyly, “Sorry about that”.

 

Samuel takes his place on the point, sitting cross-legged. And then just as quickly as he had sat down, Dean watches him fall lifelessly to the floor.

 

“I will never get use to that” Dean grumbles.

 

“You and me both” Cas says,

 

Sam re-emerges from the kitchen with three cold beers. “You guys look like you can use one of these” He says as he hands each a beer.

 

“Thanks Sammy”, Dean says with a wink. He’s got to be one of the luckiest guys to have ended up with a brother like Sam. Dean’s halfway through downing his beer when a wave of worry from Cas damn near causes him to choke.

 

“Cas, what the hell dude?!”. Dean says, looking down longingly at his accosted beer.

 

“Dean, Sam, grab your iron and salt”. Cas crouches low, angel blade falling out from his jacket sleeve and landing gracefully in his palm.

 

“Cas, what is it?” Sam asks. He grips his iron pipe tightly in anticipation.

 

“Spirits” Cas says, a lot of them. “No matter what, defend the bodies. The boys must be able to return them!”.

 

Just as Cas finishes his command, the doors and windows of the house blow in. Dozens of spirits rush in.  Dean quickly makes work of the first two, and slices through the third. He hopes that  Samuel, Cassius and John are having better luck.

 

________________________________________________________________________

  


“Guys, how much further?” Samuel whines. He knows that he’s acting every bit the teenager that he is, but they’ve been walking through the bloody muck that is Hell for the past two hours and he’s getting tired. A nephilim can only take in so many tortured souls before the weight of that much evil pulls heavily at their grace.

 

“Just a little bit further Sammy, She’s real close. You got this, little bro” Cassius says.

 

Samuel feels him place a strong comforting hand on his shoulders and sighs with relief. Cassius has always had this way of making him feel like he is every bit the warrior his older siblings are. Being the youngest was a lot more difficult than expected. Often times he felt alone. While John and Mariel were already moving on to junior  year of  high school, and Cassius, a senior, Samuel felt as if he were trailing behind. He was smart, so he had been skipped ahead a year, so that left him as a freshly turned fourteen year old in his sophomore year of highschool.  If Samuel is honest with himself, he’s spent many a night wishing he could be more like his oldest brother. Despite being home schooled for much of his elementary years, Cassius had flourished in high school. Probably because he was forced to spend so many years locked away until he could figure out how to de-materialize his wings. Now though, He was the captain of the volleyball and rugby team, smart and popular, and desired by girls and guys alike. Samuel was still struggling to find himself in highschool, but no matter what, his big brother always seemed to have his back. _Don’t sweat it Sammy, you are exactly who you were made to be. Don’t worry about anyone else, especially not me. Don’t aspire to be me kiddo, be better than me,_ Cassius would always tell him with a wink. That always left Samuel with a warm feeling, but he always made sure to remind Cassius that he was pretty awesome too. The oldest Winchester rarely did enough of that himself.  Sometimes his brother would get so caught up in not being as in touch with his grace. It really bothered Samuel to see how much of his worth he placed on that.

 

Samuel  is shaken directly out of his reverie when he collides with the hard line of Cassius’ back.

 

“What the hell, why’d you stop Cassius?” Samuel grunts angrily. He immediately snaps his jaw shut with a click when it hits him. _Mariel._  His heart immediately soars with happiness at finding her, but that happiness is cut short when he see’s the state she’s in. From where he’s standing Samuel can see that her wrists are bound by metal cuffs. The cuffs glow an angry amber, they seem to be hurting Mariel, if her rubbed raw flesh is anything to go by. She sits chained  like a dog to none other than Aion. She’s barely conscious and her raven wings hang limply behind her. Samuel’s not sensing any grace within her, so he suspects the cuffs must be binding her. That's not good at all. A purely human soul doesn’t last long in hell without succumbing to its sickness. The sight fills him with a fury he’s never known. He moves to strike, but Cassius holds him back.

 

He silently shakes his head no. Holding his finger up in front of his lips, he gestures for Samuel to keep quiet as he and John creep closer to Aion. Samuel silently follows their lead. The three of them remain hidden as they eavesdrop on Aion. She seems to be talking with some other figure but her body is blocking them from view. They are standing in front of what appears to be some kind of ancient door. The door itself is daunting, large and made of twisted dead trees.

 

“Open it!” Aion yells angrily at the figure. “Of all the Gods I’ve always had the most respect for you Erebus. I’ve met very few who have been able to withstand my torture methods, but you have not disappointed. You live up to every bit of the legend, stubborn until the end. But I promise you, before the night is through you will open those doors!”,

 

Aion throws out her hand and recants a greek spell. Instantly a flaming whip forms in her waiting palm. It glows an angry hot orange, like the amber of her eyes. She steps out of the way, revealing a bound Erebus. Chains hang from his neck, leading down to  metal clamps on the chamber floor. There are metal cuffs binding his feet and hands together as well. He is currently on his knees, head bowed and bloody.

 

Samuel hears John let out a pained gasp at the sight. He sympathizes with his brother, knowing just how much he and the god are involved. The first crack of the whip elicits a pained grunt from Erebus. Samuel see’s John flinch as if he were feeling the blow as well.  The amber whip cracks like the sound of thunder, leaving a deep gash in Erebus’ deep brown skin.

 

“You think I am a stranger to torture, Aion? I am the Guardian of the Underworld, I have dwelled among tartarus and the likes of it’s inhabitants for eons. There is nothing you can do to me that I have not already done to others or have had done to me”. Erebus’ deep baritone voice practically shakes the pillars that hold the chamber. He lifts defiant gray eyes, meeting the goddess’ amber ones straight on.

“Do your worse, but I will never open the gates of purgatory. I’ve already let that happen once on my watch,” he says with a smirk. “The angel Castiel, and if you recall it didn't go so well for him afterwards. No one can sustain that kind of power, that many souls, without self destructing”.

 

“Ah yes, but I am not an angel Erebus, and I have something Castiel did not have at the time. A nephilim. Not just any nephilim, but one who is of a one of a kind bond formed in the depths of hell between the righteous man and an angel unlike any other before him. I’ve  waited thousands of years for an opportunity like this, for destiny to join these two together. I’ve watched closely waiting for the perfect time to strike. Then it occurred to me, if I could remove Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel from the timeline, I could finally take what I needed. Without their parents, the nephilim could never stand a chance against me. It was quite a flawless plan, so brilliant it couldn’t possibly fail or so I thought. Somehow a Dean Winchester and Castiel from another time have found their way here. You see Erebus, time is a tricky thing, even for it’s master. They are like a plague of locust, those two. No matter how many times the universe tries to remove them, they always seem to find their way back”. Winding her arm back, she unleashes five harsh blows to the God’s back.

 

“But, I am nothing if not an optimist, and although time can be difficult, it eventually will obey its master. My plan may not have played out exactly how I wanted, but alas, I still have my prize”. Samuel sees her eyes sparkle as she turns a loving gaze toward Mariel. “When you open those doors for me Erebus, and you will, those cuffs on our dear Nephilim here will force her to use her grace to its highest capacity. I will harness that power as my own and combined it with the souls from purgatory.  Inevitably her soul will be burned out, but no plan is without some casualties, I suppose” she laughs wickedly.

 

“Now. Open  The. Door” She yells, whipping Erebus’ back between each word. The flaming whip appears to grow hotter with her rage.

 

Samuel sees the god drop his head once more, blood running freely down his back as he breathes hard. He can tell that Erebus is in great pain, but he prays that the God will hold out,

 

“Fine, no matter. There are other ways into purgatory. Though it’s a shame that this didn’t work out, it would have been so much faster” Aion sighs. She reaches for a small jewel encrusted golden dagger that is strapped to her thigh. “This blade has taken the lives of many men, angels and Gods alike. One more for the collection I suppose” She says as she twirls the blade playfully.

“Any last words?”.

 

Erebus hesitates before breaking into a grin, pearly white teeth standing out in stark contrast to his deep brown skin. He gray eyes seem to deepen with longing.  As my lover would say, “Bite, me” he says, as he rises to meet her blade.

 

That seems to piss Aion off, she hisses loudly as she angrily digs her fingers into Erebus’ dark wool-like curls. She yanks his head back hard, exposing his neck.

 

“Bite this” she says, as she prepares to slit his throat.

 

Samuel senses it before it happens, He feels it deep in his grace: _the intent_. A brief vision flashes through his mind’s eye. In it he sees Johnny, eyes blazing grace green, tan wings propelling him inhumanly fast toward Aion. He swiftly blocks Aion’s blow with his double edged angel blade and then aims to take on the Goddess herself. The vision abruptly ends, leaving Samuel feeling a bit disoriented. The stronger the intent, the more drained he often feels. He turns as quickly to his brother as possible, but not quick enough. It’s funny, for someone who can anticipate everyone's move, sometimes he can’t help but feel like he’s always a second behind.

 

“Johnny, Don’t!” he yells, but it’s too late. His brother has already made up his mind. Samuel grabs onto Johnny’s arm but his brother easily breaks his grip. He’s too far gone, eyes blazing angrily with green grace. Samuel knows that look, he’s seen it on his pop way too many times to count. That’s the look of a lover scorned.

 

Samuel sees Cassius move to restrain Johnny, but Cassius is slow and clumsy. Lacking Samuel’s gift of foresight, he misses by a mile.

 

The sharp _clink_ of metal on metal pulls Samuel’s attention to the duel that has now broken out between Aion and Johnny.  Despite the fact that he does not want his brother fighting a freaking _Goddess_ , he’s relieved to see Erebus alive and well, grateful that John got to him in time.

 

“Samuel come on!” Cassius, yells.

 

Samuel knows that his brother is not happy with John’s decision to fight Aion, but he sees their window of opportunity for what it is. Johnny is giving them a chance to free Erebus. Freeing Erebus is the best shot they have, levels the playing field significantly being that the three of them make up an angel and a half at best, especially with Mariel still bound.

 

They reach Erebus in lightening speed. Samuel is amazed at how, despite the various whip and burn marks cascading along his back, the God still manages to look imposing. His large muscular frame emits an air of confidence and power, but Samuel can feel another emotion rolling off of him in waves: fury, pure fury on behalf of John. Attacking the man is one thing, attacking someone he loves? Yea, let’s just say Samuel wouldn’t want to be Aion right now.

 

“Shit these chains are bound with some seriously old magic. Fuck!” Cassius yells as he struggles to unbind them. Samuel tries connecting with him to increase the power of his grace, but even with their combined effort the shackles only warp and shutter at best.

 

“Please, you must hurry! John will not be able to hold her off for long. I am your best chance” Erebus urges.

 

“Yeah, I get that buddy, but these chain ain’t no joke. You got any better ideas?” Cassius asks, trying and failing to mask his sarcasm.

 

Erebus grimaces at that, but ultimately shakes his head in defeat.

 

“I think I do”, Samuel says confidently. “Cassie, Let me fight her”.

 

“What?! Are you out of your feather brain mind?! What the hell would I tell Dad and Pop when i bring your lifeless body back from the shadow realm. Oh! Gee Dad and Pop, I just thought it’d be a good idea to let my kid brother face off with a Goddess, no biggie right?” Cassius all but shrieks.

 

Samuel wishes that that didn’t sting as bad as it does. He knows he’s suppose to have tougher skin than that. He’s a Winchester damn it! And he does, he swears it. He can take shit from just about any asshole at their high school, he’s had to all his life anyway; being the nerd who got skipped a grade can have that effect on you. Point is, he’s had to take a lot of crap from a lot of people, but he’s always had Cassius in his corner. He could always confide in his big brother with just about anything, insecurities, girls, guys, anything really. So to see his brother lose faith in him now, when it matters the most, well yeah that hurts.

 

Samuel guesses that Cassius must sense the damage because his eyes instantly soften. He reaches over and touches Samuel’s shoulder gently.

 

“Sammy, it’s not that I don’t believe in you, trust me I do. I’m just...I’m just scared okay? If something were to happen to you, Johnny or Mar, I would never forgive myself. It’s my job to protect you guys..I--”

 

“And what do you think our job is?” Samuel interjects. He knows that Cassius has the biggest heart, but sometimes it gets in the way of his own logic. Does he honestly believe that he isn’t worth protecting?

 

“What?” Cassius asks, looking truly perplexed.

 

Samuel sighs in frustration, _guess that answers that question,_ he thinks.

 

“Cassius, you’re our big brother. There isn’t anything we wouldn’t do for you. Now you gotta let me do this. Trust me, I can do this. “

 

Samuel watches as Cassius' brow wrinkles in thought. Finally, after a beat “Okay, okay baby bro. I do, I trust you.  Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this” Cassius sighs in resignation. “Kick her ass”.

 

Samuel flies as fast as he can toward Johnny, pearly white wings shining out against the ominous red and black haze of hell. His brother has been doing well, all things considered, but he has a few scratches from where Aion made her strike. Samuel can see that he’s beginning to tire. The good think about his own powers, Samuel thinks, is that he’s never had to expend too much grace when facing an opponent. Turns out, when you can see your opponent's every move, you become a pretty efficient fighter.

 

“Johnny, here, let me take over!”

 

“What?! Hell no Samuel. Just what do--”

 

“Johnny move, Cassius gave me the okay already!” Samuel tries again, patience fraying at the edges.

 

“I don’t give a damn what Cassie said” John says as he ducks under the swing of Aion’s spear, “there’s no way--”

 

Samuel doesn’t have time for this. He decides to break out the big guns. “Johnny, Erebus needs you rights now! You’re the only one who can get him out of there”.

 

That seems to get John’s attention. He spends a quick second contemplating the decision, before glancing at Erebus. Samuel sees his words taking effect instantly. John actually looks like his heart is breaking. Finally he nods his head, relenting.

 

“Fine, here, tag in” he reaches out and slaps Samuel’s hand. “Give em hell kid”, he says before flying off toward Cassius and Erebus.

  


Samuel takes a deep breath before manifesting his own angel blades, a pair of twin Sai, japanese dagger blades. He twirls them expertly before crouching into a fighting stance.

 

“Oh, come now isn’t this sweet” Aion muses,  “ Just when I thought you half breeds couldn’t get any more pathetic, they send in a child to fight a God!. I’ve taken a lot of lives with this spear boy, but you will be the youngest by far. Well, there’s a first time for everything I suppose, even for time herself” She grins wickedly.

 

“We gonna chat all day, or are we gonna get to some actual fighting ?” Samuel throws out condescendingly.

 

That seems to anger her, as she launches forward with a fierce swipe of her spear. Sam “sees” it coming a mile away, effortlessly dodging the blow. That only seems to infuriate the Goddess more. _Quick, right, followed by a leaping drive! (Aion’s intent)_ practically screams it’s way into his mind’s eye. Samuel dodges left, and tucks into a swift roll to avoid the leaping drive. The roll places him so that he is facing her back. He takes advantage of her vulnerable point and unleashes a concentrated but powerful blast of grace, causing the Goddess to crash into the ground. Her spear scatters a few feet to her right. Samuel allows himself to feel a sense of pride as he watches a literal _God_ scramble frantically for her weapon. Aion gets up swiftly, twirling her spear. _Left hook, followed by a sliding kick to take out the legs,_ _no! scissor kick and sharp hook_ , _no! Hard drive of the spear followed by_ … her intentions are coming in a mile a minute, but Samuel knows that trick too. All the weekend sparring sessions that Dean insisted on he and his siblings having prepared him for this. He just has to focus a little harder on which intention occurs most rapidly before the action. It’s difficult but he believes in himself. Samuel focuses deeper, he feels four more rapidly fired intentions from Aion, but the third feels the strongest to him. He narrowly dodges the blow, not nearly as graceful as before but still enough to allow the Goddess to realize she is outmatched.

 

Aion growls, blind rage beginning to take over logic. The initial power of her intentions momentarily overwhelms Samuel but he quickly recovers. She becoming sloppy in her anger, and now is the time where he needs to be most concise. She swings her spear wildly, Samuel dodges and flips backward, wings propelling him through the air. He lands and releases two more blows of grace, each striking Aion square in the chest. The goddess tries to get to her feet but, holding her chest in pain, she collapses to one knee. Samuel swaggers over to where Aion crouches on one knee, defeated.

 

“Not use to losing a fight huh? Well,” Samuel says as he shrugs lackadaisically “first time for everything right?” He raises his hand and unleashes a final blow of grace, putting all he has into it. The blow pushes Aion into the ground, crushing her several feet below the surface.

 

Samuel doesn’t think she’s dead, not by a long shot. They’ve maybe got 10 minutes tops before Aion regenerates but it’s gotten them the time they need to figure out how to unbind Erebus and get Mar the hell out of, well, Hell.

  
Small victories. Right?


	15. Ancient History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes"  
> ~Mark Twain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Most impressive young one, you may be a mere child, but your strategics in battle meet that of history’s mightiest warriors. You are a lot more like the angel Castiel than you may know” Erebus offers Samuel.

 

He’s still huffing from the recent onslaught of Aion’s wip, but nonetheless he manages to throw a charming smile of approval at Samuel, his pearly white teeth standing out beautifully against his ebony skin. Samuel feels himself blush at the compliment. From here he can see that Erebus is truly god-like in every sense of the word. From his clear ebony skin and bright gray eyes, to his strong muscular chest and broad shoulder, back up to his wool-like curly hair and stylish undercut. He can see why Johnny didn’t stand a chance at passing this up.

 

“Thanks Erebus, now how do we get you out of this thing. I estimate we have maybe ten minutes before Aion crawls out of that hole and opens the meanest can of whoop as on us all” Samuel huffs out nervously.

 

“Erebus” John says, grabbing the god by his chin and turning to him so that their eyes meet, he places a soft kiss on his lips, then as they break apart “We need you, I need you. We need to get Mariel out of here and back to my parents so we can figure out how to break her chains and you need to take back the shadow realm. Aion is standing in the way of both of these things and she is standing in the way of us”.

 

Erebus all but growls at that last part. “You are mine, and mine alone”. John nods at that. “And this is my domain” the God says, gesturing to the shadow realm that lay beyond hell's gates. His anger seems to rise as he contemplates all the ways that Aion as inconvenienced them.  John only seems to urge him on, further enticing his anger.

 

“Fuck yea it is, and are you going to let this bitch continue to disrespect all that you have built? your empire?!...Your boy?” He whispers the last part seductively in Erebus’ ear.

 

The God’s nostril flare in anger at the very thought. His gray eyes begin to glow with rage, the chains around his neck and wrists warping with the effort of is power. _He’s so close,_ John thinks but he needs more. Grabbing Erebus’ large strong hands, he channels the last of his grace into every effort of breaking the chains. He knows this is risky, that means that Samuel and Cassius will have to take on the brunt of most of the fighting if he zaps his grace limit for the day, and Cassius runs a lot closer to empty most days than full. Likewise, Samuel is an excellent fighter, the best of them all if he’s honest, but he expended a huge amount of grace on taking Aion down. For all intents and purposes, Erebus is their last hope, so this _needs_ to work.

 

“Guuuuuuuys!” Samuel warns, “She's starting to come to, I can feel it. And let me just say, her intentions feel pretty fucking pissed!”.

 

As if on cue, the group turns to see the tips of Aion’s slender brown fingers as she begins to crawl her way out of the crater Samuel had created.

 

“Erebus!” John yells as he grabs the god by his curly dark hair, forcing them to make eye contact again, “It’s now or never my love!”.

 

With that John channels the last of his grace and hope into Erebus, and on a final yell, the God breaks free. A sound unlike the clap of thunder echoes through the chamber and threatens to shake the very foundation. A dust cloud forms from where the god has broken the chains from their root in the ground. When it settles, Erebus stands before them, all six feet seven inches of him, smoke blowing angrily out of his nostrils.

 

Samuel downright shivers from the intent he feels rolling off of him in waves. _Murder_ , he can feel it clear as day. Erebus wants Aion’s head on a silver platter. A sharp intent from behind nearly knocks Samuel over. This one is laced in downright fear, and desperation. The kind of intent that can only come from a goddess who has foolishly weakened herself by using most of her power to remove Samuel’s real parents from this timeline. Aion hasn’t been at 100% since, in fact she’s taken more losses from Castiel and Samuel himself, than wins as of lately. There is no way she could stand up to Erebus alone, Samuel suspects she most likely elicited the help of some knights of hell to trap the god in the first place. But now, with the angels beseeching hell in search of their dad sometime in 2008, Aion is left abandoned and so very desperate to play the last card she has left.   He knows exactly what Aion intends to do next, but before he can turn to warn Mariel, Aion has already managed to grab her in a headlock.

 

“Get back Erebus!” Aion hisses. She looks deranged, her amber eyes blaze with fear and her own curly hair looks frazzled and frayed at the edges. “I will end her where she stands. If I am to die at the hands of _Osiris_ , I will take this one with me before I go!” She growls

 

“Osiris? Why, I haven’t been called my Egyptian name in ages”, Erebus chuckles. “You must be frightened indeed, if you're going to start bringing up ancient history, _Aten._ Though make no mistake, no matter what you do,  you will fall here”.

 

“Is that so?” Aion says teasingly as she tightens her grip on Mariel’s neck. Mariel whimpers in pain.

 

Cassius flinches at that, moving to strike he finds himself being held back by John. The two share a silent but heated conversation, and finally Cassius steps back, frustration clear on his features. He wants to strike, Samuel can tell, but it’s just too risky. They would have come all this way just to have Aion snap Mar’s neck. They can’t risk it

 

Having realized she has gained some leverage, Aion smirks wickedly before continuing. “So here is how it is going to go, my little half breeds. Erebus is going to open the gates of purgatory, and I am going to get my souls. When that happens it will be a much fairer fight between myself and him, and I will turn your sister over to you”.

 

Cassius shifts uncomfortably at that, scratching his chin, he looks over to Samuel. Samuel knows what he’s thinking. If they let Aion open the gates, she will be more powerful than any of them could anticipate, perhaps even stronger than Erebus. Likewise, there is a chance that she may still hurt Mariel anyway, or use her grace to keep the purgatory souls from killing the goddess from the inside like they had with Pop when he tried ingesting the souls. Or maybe she really is only after the souls and will let Mar go now that she has what she wants?  All of these possible intents bounce around in Sam’s head, but Aion has not committed to any yet. Samuel shakes his head at Cassius, _I don’t know what she's planning yet_ , he says silently with his eyes.

 

“ There is no scenario where I would ever open those doors for you harlot. The only fate you will meet tonight is death. This is what I have written for you. You are marked!” Erebus roars. Crouching into a predatory stance, the god summons his weapons of choice. He proudly brandishes an honest to God scythe in one hand and what looks like a corn sickle in the other. Samuel realizes abstractly that this must be where the legend of the grim reaper, with his infamous scythe, must have manifested.

 

“Fine then, as you wish” Aion says, preparing to break Mariel’s neck. But before she can increase any more pressure, John yells out.

 

“Wait, Jesus, just wait a second!” He gasps. His eyes are wide with fear as he turns to Erebus. “We have no choice. Erebus please just do as she says. I know I am asking a lot, and I know it’s selfish of me to put the world in danger for one person, but she is my sister, my twin... God, what other choice do I have? She’s my sister!” John pleads, voice cracking at the hopelessness of it all.

 

“Johnny No!, Don't you do it. You can’t let this bitch get away with it. I am not worth all of that. Don’t you do it John!” Mariel grunts from where Aion has her neck in a firm grip

 

 _That’s my sister,_ John thinks. Even in the face of death she’s still every bit the selfless badass she’s always been. But still, he just can’t. It would kill him inside to know that he had a chance to get Mariel out of there safe and sound and instead let her die. How would his parents receive him when he came home? How would he be able to live with himself? It’s selfish, and so very human of him, and perhaps a Winchester curse, this desire to place family before anything. But God help him, he doesn’t care. He’s saving his sister.

 

“Erebus, please” John begs. Despite his anger the god instantly caves with one look at his boy in such despair.

 

Aion senses the moment Erebus resigns. “Ah, the pitfalls of love. They say it makes a man weak, and I certainly see why. This is why the wisest of gods know to stay away from it. Luckily for me, I am at the mercy of no such god. “ She smirks.

 

“Your day will come, Aion. Remember you have been marked by Osiris. I _always_ come for my marked”, Erebus growls. Just as he finishes his statement, Aion hisses in pain as a small black symbol burns its way onto the skin of her chest, near her heart. It is a crook and flail crossed over one another: The symbol of Osiris: The mark of the damned. Aion has enough decency to look mildly alarmed, Erebus smirks at that.

 Then turning more gently to Johnny, he says “It’s okay, I understand. I’m with you whatever may come of this decision. You are mine and I am yours” Erebus says, lifting John’s downtrodden face so that they make eye contact.

Placing a final gentle kiss to his forehead, Erebus stands and begins to recite an ancient Greek incantation. The doors to purgatory seem to come alive, heading the call of their master’s voice. Aion’s grin almost splits her face, looking every bit like that cat that caught the canary. Her eyes blaze amber as, much to everyone’s horror and to her delight, the doors swing open, unleashing a plume of black hissing smoke: the souls of monsters older than time itself. The souls find their way to Aion, who greatly welcomes them in, arms spread open as they enter through her chest. There is a deafening silence when it’s over. The tension in the air is almost palpable as Erebus, Cassius, John and Samuel wait expectantly for Aion’s next move.

 

The goddess continues to breath heavily, as if taking in the moment. After another pregnant pause Cassius’s authoritative voice breaks the silence.

 

“Alright, you have what you want, now give me back my sister you bitch!" Cassius growls.

 

“Of course dear child, after all a goddess is nothing without her word” Aion says condescendingly.

 

There is another pause, Cassius swears his heart is going to snap from the suspense of it all. He just wants Mariel back safe in his arms so they can all get the hell out of here. In the next minute two things happen that he isn’t quite able to grasp.

 

 **One:** Samuel’s shriek of “No, Mar!” steeped in absolute mortification and, perhaps rage, splits the silence in two. Cassius feels the heat of his little brother’s blast of grace as a it soars past his left wing and hits Aion straight in the chest. It’s an incredibly powerful blast, most likely the last of Samuel’s supply, but nonetheless Cassius is still proud. Castiel would be proud too, he thinks. But Cassius’ pride turns instantly to mortification when Aion simply absorbs the blow, Almost as if it were a mild irritation rather than a strike to kill. She is a far cry stronger than she was when Samuel first fought her. Cassius shivers at the realization that the souls of purgatory have made her a far more challenging adversary than any of them could have guessed.

 

And

 

 **Two:** Cassius realizes what Samuel must have seen before all of them and tried so desperately to stop: _Aion’s intent_. He is powerless to do anything as he watches the goddess quickly hiss out a Greek incantation that has the shackles glowing dangerously. Grace brutally flares from Mariel’s eyes, mouth and chest as Aion absorbs it through the shackles. Mariel let’s out a scream of agony before collapsing to the floor, limp. Cassius doesn't think he will ever forget that sight so long as he lives. He knows it in his soul, that Mariel, their Mariel,  is gone to them. A nephilim’s soul can not survive expending that amount of grace, even one as strong as her. All that will be left now is the cold empty husk of a half graced angel, and eventually even that will not be enough to sustain her.

 

Through the haze of shock, he hear’s John cry out  “You said you would let her go, that you were a goddess of your word!, you fucking lied!".

"Nonsense, I am a goddess of my word my child, I told you I would return her to you, I never said I would return her _unharmed" ,_ Aion says sarcastically.

"You monster, Erebus, end her, Now!” John spits, as bitter tears stream down his cheeks. Erebus, as if only awaiting the cue, re-summons his weapons and breathing out brimstone and smoke through his nostrils, charges at Aion with the fury of a hell hound.

 

Cassius always thought that the term, clash of the titans was always a bit overdone, but the sound he hears when Aion and Erebus collide can only be described as an honest to God thunder clap.

 

Cassius, Samuel and John use the much welcomed distraction of the fight to get to Mariel, who is lying limply of the ground.

 

“Fuck, Fuck! Cassie what do we do?” John pleads, cradling Mariel to his chest as tears fall heavily from his face.

 

God, Cassius just needs a minute to breath. He can do this, He _will_ do this. He needs to be strong for them now.

 

“Grab her, we need to get the hell out of dodge and get her back to Pop as soon as possible. Maybe he can heal her and--”.

 

“He can’t heal anymore Cassie! He’s not like our Pop” Samuel interrupts angrily. He wipes bitter tears from his cheeks. Cassius tries not to let the comment sting, he knows that Samuel is just hurt, just like the rest of them.

 

“I know kiddo, but we don't have much of a choice, do we? I know everyone is scared, but I have never led you wrong and I will not start now. I am asking you both, please... just trust me a little while longer okay?”. Cassius pleads.

 

They nod their heads meekly. With that, Cassius gather’s Mariel in his arms, and then with the strongest voice he can muster he commands “Let’s move!”

 

The three stealthily make their exit. John pauses at the chambers exit, casting one last worried look at Erebus. The god seems to be holding his own against Aion. Catching John’s eye, he tosses a confident wink in his direction.

 

“Go my Love!” he yells, “This is my domain, I’m okay! Go now!”

 

John gives him one last hesitant look, but upon seeing Mariel’s limp form  in Cassius’ arms, he is renewed with a new sense of purpose. His duty lies with his family now. Erebus will be okay. He always is. "I'll be back for you, and you better be here!" John yells, and with that the three of them continue out of the chamber and quickly make their way through the bloody muck of Hell’s warped innards.

 

Ducking under an angel that has just been thrown across the air by a ghastly looking demon, Cassius desperately yells, “Johnny get us the fuck outta here!”. The roar of besieged hell rages around them. Outside of the chamber, thousands of  angels and demons engage in bloody battle, and various limbs along side bloodied bits of wing litter the ground. It truly is a hellish sight.

 

“I’m trying, there’s something wrong! Something with our bodies back home, I can’t get us connected!” John yells, voice strained with panic.

 

“Look out!” Samuel yells, as a shadowed figure makes its way toward Cassius. It’s body looks broken and mangled. The right arm bent at an awkward angle, but nonetheless it carries a barber’s blade, as if it doesn’t even register the pain it must be in. The figure is too far in the shadows to register who or what it is. From where Cassius is, he thinks it might be a human, but it looks almost like a demon.

 

The figure steps into the light and Cassius all but feels his stomach sink into the ground. Hard green eyes stare back at him from under long bloodied lashes. Dirty blonde hair stands at all angles, clumped together with blood and chunks of flesh from perhaps other demons or angels. Cassius knows this face, because it is so very like his own. Down to the freckles that line the man’s small delicate nose, sharp jawline and bow lips that are currently set in a menacing hard line.

 

 _Dean. Dad,_ He thinks to himself. He knows he must be right, if the twin gasps of disbelief from John and Samuel or anything to go by.

Dean let’s out a guttural animalistic cry before advancing on Cassius, Samuel and John. Cassius grasps Mariel tighter in his arms. He doesn’t know what any of them can do. They have all expended far too much grace today, but he has to do something. He tries to muster enough grace to throw up a force field, but it flickers weakly before going out. He collapses to his knees, Mariel still in his arms,  in exhaustion.

 

Dean stops for a moment, before smirking at the failed force field and continuing his advance. Cassius has seen some seriously frightening shit in his life, but this has to top them all. Cassius knows that his dad went through some terrible shit in hell, they all do. He's heard the stories--the PG rated version of course--but he's always been able to fill in the pieces that neither of his parents could ever give voice to. But, hearing and seeing are two very different things. This version of his Dad, the one that broke all those years ago in the pit, this one is downright nightmarish.  He feels a shiver rack up his spine.

 

Dean looks like an absolute monster. He is covered in blood and gore from head to toe, Parts of his chest are missing, revealing rib cage and bone. But, what is most disturbing is the smile on his face, it doesn’t match the deadness of his eyes.

 

“Alastair will be so happy when I bring you back for him. Pretty things, yes he loves his pretty things. Maybe… Maybe he’ll play with you for a bit instead of me. Find himself a new slut. Oh he will, he will tear you in ways you can’t even imagine. Make a new man. I’m a new man. I’m free”.

 

Dean mumbles maniacally.  He almost seems to be talking more to himself than to Cassius and his brothers. Yet, he still feels his stomach sicken at the words. He doesn’t recognize this man that wears his Dad’s face. That wears his face.

 

“He’ll break you” Dean laughs, “Yup, he’ll break you just like he broke me. But it will feel so good, you’ll learn to love it. Yes, love it. Love it, love it, love it” Dean stutters, digging into his own chest with his blade. “It doesn’t even hurt anymore!” He cries hysterically. “Let me show you!” he aims his blade at Cassius but the blow never comes.

 

When Cassius open his eyes, his stomach drops for the second time that day. Behind Dean, holding his hand behind is back in a restraining manner, is an angel. A very familiar one at that.

 

“Castiel” Cassius hears Samuel whisper in awe.

Oh, but awe doesn’t even begin to describe what Cassius feels. He’s seen his pop graced up before, many times, but seeing him like this, when he was every bit the obedient soldier in heavens garrison, is a sight to behold in its own right. He’s decked from head to toe in metal armor. His wings have razor sharp medal coverings at each tip, made for striking out. Cassius can see that they are streaked with the blood of some poor demon who thought they could take his pop on. Castiel's eyes have reverted back to their galactic stardust state. The darkness of hell swirls around him as if afraid to touch a being so pure. He stands proudly with his raven black wings spread at his side. He is pure light and power. His skin is almost translucent as light threatens to burst through. His face still carries the familiarity of James Novack, but the real Castiel threatens to spill out from under his translucent skin. When he shifts, Cassius can see the makings of three other faces, almost as an after image--like staring into the sun for too long. He can make out what looks like the face of an eagle, a wolf and tiger. This is as close to seeing his true form that any of them have ever come. God, he is beautiful.

Castiel squints his eyes at them, titling his head in confusion. Having heard Samuel say his name, he regards them with a quizzical bird-like twitch of the head. His movements seem almost animalistic in nature. Instinct, innocence and duty , the nature of an angel who has yet to know man.  Castiel quickly recovers when Dean begins to squirm in his hold. Re-adjusting his grip, Cassius sees Castiel place a hand on Dean's upper left shoulder.

"Be still now", he whispers to Dean in Enochian.

Cassius watches as a hand print sears with grace, leaving a mark that he knows will be the start of something the angel won’t even begin to grasp for at least the next eight years. The the start of unconditional love, the start of a bond, the start of four nephilim lives.

 

  _You have no idea what’s coming buddy,_ Cassius chuckles to himself.

Castiel's eyes widen in surprise, his own grace recognizing the bond that has been made. Whether by accident or destiny, his grip on Dean falters momentarily before re-tightening. Cassius thinks that its not as much of a restraining gesture as it was before but a comforting one. Dean instantly falls limp in his grip. He whimpers, soul no doubt reacting to the bond as well.

 

“Go!” Castiel says to them in Enochian. Looking down at Dean almost lovingly, he grips Dean more securely by the branded shoulder, other arm wrapping under his legs in a supportive bridal carry. With that, his powerful obsidian wings launch him into the sky, home bound for the safety of heaven.

 

Cassius nods his head dumbly. He doesn’t need to be told twice. Truth be told, he’s eager to leave this whole nightmare behind.

 

“The block is down, we are good to go!. Everyone grab on to me!” John yells.

Gripping Mariel protectively to his chest, he grabs onto his brother.

 

The last thing Cassius can faintly hear as he feels himself fading back to his corporal body, and back to reality, is Castiel’s angelic voice booming proudly and joyfully. 

_Dean winchester has been saved!_

  
Then, nothing but  blackness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, I spent some time in the middle east and visiting the pyramids in egypt. Now I'm back.


	16. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The longer I live , the more I read, the more patiently I think, and the more anxiously I inquire, the less I seem to know...Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. That is enough"~ John Adams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice chapter from Cas' perspective

Castiel grunts as he slices through four ghosts with his raven black wings, body spinning swiftly and ending in an eloquent crouch. Vengeful spirits were never much of a formidable opponent for him in the old days.  Even now, with his weakened grace, they are more of a frustration to him than an actual threat, but it would appear that perhaps hurting Castile was never their intention after all. No--these ghost came in masses, and with one clear goal on their mind--inhabit the empty vessels of the three nephilim that currently lay lifeless at his feet. So goes the plight of the dead. They ultimately crave life, and are filled with the desire to inhabit the earth once more. Castiel almost chuckles to himself at the thought of their futile attempt. He’d rather be subject to an eternity at the hands of Naomi or lucifer himself--again-- than ever let harm come to one of his children. These ghost would have been better off trying to kill him instead. 

 

Taking out six more spirits, he quickly glances over in Dean's direction. He knows that Dean can more than handle himself, and now he supposes, that with the added affect of the bond pulsing warm and strong inside him, he can feel it too. Dean feels like  _ fire _ and righteous fury and the powerful beat of drums. He feels like war and Castiel absolutely loves him for it, knows that it is the same rhythm that runs hot and heavy through his own grace. The ballad of a soldier. He watches the arch of Dean back as he tucks into a roll, sliding past two spirits only to spring up behind them in an athletic display. He makes quick work of them by slashing through their incorporeal form with his iron rod, arm muscles thick and taut with tension. The spirits hiss in pain as the disappear. Castiel watches mesmerized. Dean is beautiful but when he is in battle he is an animal all of his own, he is Castiel’s. Something hot and heady, something so very human burns low in his gut.  He knows it for what it is,  _ arousal.  _

 

Dean must sense it through the bond because his head immediately snaps toward Castiel’s direction. His eyes are a dark mossy green surrounding large blown pupils. Castiel immediately feels a wave of embarrassment at being caught. He knows that in theory it is senseless to feel such emotions. He and Dean have already stated their feelings for each other, they have even accepted the existence of their children, and yet Castiel can’t shake the old habit of hiding how he feels from Dean; he’s spent the better half of 8 years trying to figure out just what he felt for the hunter and then another four years trying to keep those feelings at bay. Castiel may be able to express those feelings now, but that doesn't mean it’s easy. Old habits die hard, as Dean would say. 

 

Castiel feels Dean’s displeasure as he catches the hunter now frowning his way. Just as quickly his expression changes to one of amusement as he winks at Castiel. Dean shakes his head, a sly smile on his face. Castiel only has a second to wonder what he is up too before he  _ feels _ it. It hits him like a wave, potent and sweet. Deans own arousal, steeped in an overwhelming amount of reassurance. He’s not necessarily trying to rile Castiel up, rather he trying to send a message: that he feels it too and that Castiel need not have a reason to hide anymore. What Dean says next only confirms Castiel’s thoughts.

 

“Don’t hide from me” Dean says loud enough for him to hear, voice husky with exertion. Castiel suspects that part of it is due to the onslaught of never ending spirits but another part of him knows it’s for more private reasons.

 

Castiel nods his head and allows pleasure to slip into the bond. Dean seems satisfied with that and allows it to carry him through the next wave of spirits. They fight for what feels like an eternity. Castiel can see that Sam is doing his best to hold out but despite his fighting spirit, his body isn’t able to hold up like it use too. Sam is a man of at least fifty now, no longer the 34 year old that Castiel remembers from his time. Now, he reminds Castiel of Bobby Singer in a way, he finds that endearing. He watches a Sam slices his way through two spirits, breathing hard with every exertion. Castiel smiles to himself, he’s always admired the younger Winchester’s tenacity and spirit. He is glad to see that a hard life has not changed Sam. He is still as stubborn as ever, and finally happy with a family and children of his own. 

 

A loud bang followed by the tell-tale panicked shout of “Sammy!” from Dean, drags him out of his reverie. He looks over again to see Sam lying against the living room wall and Dean desperately trying to fend off the advancing spirits. Castiel makes quick work of his eights spirits and flies over to where Dean has just sliced through two of them. 

 

“Fuck Cas!” We need to put an end to this now. There is too many of them, and Sam can’t hold up much longer” He yells.

 

“Dean, I’m fi-fine!’ Sam grunts body betraying his attempt at putting on a brave face. He’s clearly too hurt to continue and he knows it, but like every bit of the Winchester he is, he tries to proceed anyway. Dean immediately forces him back down into a sitting position.

 

“Dammit Sam!, Just listen to me for once in your freaking life” Dean hisses in exasperation. 

 

“Hey! I’m older than you now. You can’t talk to me like that” Sam chastises. Dean just rolls his eyes and huffs, turning to Castiel with a helpless look.

 

Castile smirks at him, before turning to make quick work of the next fifteen spirits. The numbers are increasing now, and although Castiel knows he is an excellent fighter, he’s always been a better strategist. He planned his attacks, often formulating never before seen battle strategies to defeat his opponents well before ever having to face them in close combat. He’d taken out many a demon like that, even other higher ups like Alistair, those with white eyes. Needless to say, he was a little out of his element without a plan. He could fight on pure instinct and skill but for how long? And, most importantly, could he protect Dean and Sam from the onslaught too? If it became fifty spirits attacking at once instead of fifteen, could he truly holdout? Castiel could feel himself drowning in the doubt that had recently latched onto his grace like a parasite. He isn’t the same angel he was before. He’s made so many mistakes as of lately and it feels like no matter what he does, it always ends in failure, death, destruction and disappointment. For a lifelong strategist few things sting one’s confidence more than that. To make matters even worse, Castiel is hit with a sudden sense of urgency that he knows is not his own. He senses John first, knows that he is trying to reconnect with his body, but the ghost have rapidly formed a perimeter around them now. Castiel is fighting as hard and as fast as he can, but it’s not enough. 

 

If he leaves Dean and Sam now, surely they will be torn to pieces, but if he doesn’t his children will no doubt become possessed, and the real John, Cassius and Samuel will be stuck in the shadow realm forever. If only he were stronger, If only he weren’t so damn  _ weak! _ His mind screams.

 

Sensing Castiel’s negative emotions through the bond, Dean sneers. “Hey! Now is so not the time for that, so cut the bullshit! Your a badass fucking angel and I need you to trust in yourself the same way I trust in you! The same way I have  _ always _ trusted you”. Dean says.

 

‘Dean, I can’t I’m not… I  _ can’t”  _ Castiel whines out hopelessly. He hates how he sounds, so pathetic and broken, but he just can’t do what Dean is asking of him, and somehow letting Dean down breaks him in ways that he didn’t think needed to be broken.

  
  


Castiel continues to fend off spirit after spirit, whereas before he was taking on maybe fifteen at a time, now he estimates they are somewhere around twenty-five to thirty and increasing. He’s letting grace out now, trying to keep it in concentrated and efficient amounts. He catches the spirits in clusters to deliver the most damage. He arches under the angry swipe of a ghost dropping into a spinning crouch and slashing through it with his wings. He can feel himself beginning to strain, but they just keep coming. He can feel panic through the bind, and he can’t tell if it’s Dean’s or his own being reflected back at him. In the back of his mind he can feel the little tickle that let’s him know John is calling again, trying to make the connection but the spirits have already made their way to the bodies. He’s overwhelmed, he tries to think about what he has done in the past when surrounded in battle. Fall back and head for higher ground? No, it's much too late for that now that he’s surrounded on all sides. Plus, how would he get Dean and Sam’s, now unconscious body, to safety while fighting as well. Call reinforcements? His brethren have always managed to swoop in at the last minute on countless recon missions, but no again, having reinforcements would mean having angels left to support him and well Castiel burned that bridge years ago. First, when he rebelled, then later when he killed while pretending to be a false God and then again when he let the devil himself take over. His many years as a war strategist force him to run every scenario over and over again, desperate to find an out, but each time he reaches the same conclusion: he is weak and he is so very, very alone. Perhaps this is his penance for all his sins. Heaven knows he is long overdue.

 

A sharp tug from behind snaps him back to the present. He whips around, expecting another spirit, but only finds Dean. Dean’s expression is so unlike anything Castiel has ever seen. He doesn’t look mad of frustrated like before. He looks, well he looks almost content, resigned but not defeated. Castiel would go as far as to say he almost looks at peace, which is absurd considering that Castiel is fighting an uphill battle, one that he suspects will be lost the more time passes. Yet, something about Dean’s demeanor relaxes him. Dean reaches out, pulling the angel to his knees, so that Castiel is now facing him, both at equal level. Castiel knows he should resists, resume his fighting stance and prepare for the onslaught of spirits that will inevitably seal their doom, with Castiel kneeling, back toward the frenzy rapidly approaching. Yet, he can’t look away.  With just one look Dean paralyzes him, always has been able to if Castiel is honest. With Dean, he doesn’t feel afraid anymore. It makes no sense, he should be but he just doesn’t. He can feel tranquility through the bond. But the longer Castiel analyzes the bond, and the deeper he lets it sink into his grace the more he realizes that it’s not tranquility, but something more profound: Love and trust, but most importantly,  _ faith  _ in him! Castiel blinks in surprise and attempts pull back, but Dean just reaches out and gently places his hand on the back of the angel’s head, gently grasping him by his soft raven hair and holding him in place for a kiss.

  
  


Castiel sighs at that, he feels so safe here, safer than he ever has. Castiel takes the opportunity to angle his head so that he can deepen the kiss, taste more of that addictive heady sweetness that is so uniquely Dean. Dean reaches down and grabs Castiel’s hand, gently placing it on his left shoulder. They both moan at the spark that shoots through them and through the bond when Castiel’s hand collides with the mark he made on Dean’s soul so many years ago. His claim. Castiel can vaguely hear the approaching hiss of the spirits rapidly gathering behind him, but he can’t be bothered to care. Dean is talking now, and so like most things in Castiel’s life, when it comes to Dean nothing else matters.

 

“Feel that Cas, that’s real” Dean whispers against his lips. He dips his forehead so that it gently bumps against Castiel’s. “I’ve never had faith in much, but I’ve always had it in you. You are more than just your grace, you are… God, Cas you are _ it _ for me, do you get it? If you end, I end. I’m not scared to die, if this is how we go this is it, I’m ready. But I know, this isn’t how we end. We have to get through this because we’ve only just fucking begun, and we have four kids waiting on us. Do you hear me Castiel?” Dean says, grabbing onto the back of his neck with his free hand.

 

It’s a dominate gesture and that in combination with the use of his full name has Castiel burning from the inside out. He can feel it deep in his grace, something is coming to life, something stronger and brighter than he’s ever felt before in his life. He can feel head flowing from Dean’s soul into his own grace and back again.He feels powerful and righteous. Human and god-like at the same time. He feels so full with the capacity to love and be loved. He feels Dean. 

 

Yet, this new found power scares him. It threatens to overwhelm him, and spill out through the cracks of his vessels’ seams. He on the verge of breaking through, the real him and that scares him. Dean has never quite experienced Castiel like this, in his true form where he is so deeply reminded of how “other” he is in comparison to Dean. He’s scared of himself, of what will happen if he lets this new found power out, but he’s scared of what Dean will see. Will he still want something so alien, will he be disgusted. So he fights, but the power burn hotter and hotter between them. The bond fills with  _ fear, fear, fear!  _ His own, as he feels himself breaking. 

 

“Let go Cas, it’s okay, I’m here. Don’t be afraid” Dean whispers. “I know you” He says, reaching out to touch Castiel where his heart would be. And Castiel know Dean means it. He’s known Castiel since they first connected in the fires of hell. He may not remember his true form, but Dean’s soul does and with Dean he has nothing to fear. He is enough.  With that Dean breathes softly and sweetly over his lips., beckoning for one last kiss. “I love you, now Castiel, let go”. Dean breathes into him.

 

And just like that Castiel feels himself burst into light, and sound and stardust and the ancient power of a million supernovas. He sings, he sings like he hasn’t in so long, and just like when he was a part of the host he hears a voice singing with him. He practically weeps because he knows that voice, it’s Dean’s soul, filling him and combining with him, guiding this light out from the center of them and throughout the house.  _ Beautiful _ , he hears,  _ your beautiful  _ Dean’s soul sings. 

 

And Castiel believes him, he feels beautiful and righteous and enough. He feels enough.

 

“Okay baby, come back to me now. You did so good, but I need you to come back, stay with me Cas”,Dean’s soul beckons, guiding him through the blinding light of it all. Castiel lets himself be pacified and pulled in, both into the physical comfort of Dean’s arms and the comfort of their bond.

 

When he opens his eyes, his human eyes that is, every ghost in the house it gone, burned to oblivion by the explosion of grace Castiel let out. It’s as if they hadn’t just been fighting off hoards of spirits only five minutes ago. Dean holds him a little tighter and gently kisses the top of his head. Castiel realizes that he is shaking, still reeling from what just occurred between them. He has never heard of a grace-soul bond like that, but then again there has never been a pari quite like them. Castiel looks up at Dean who is smiling that bright smile that had Castiel doubting all he knew so many years ago. He loves that smile and so he reaches up and traces it with his fingers, Dean chuckles at that.

 

“You feel different” Dean says. 

“Yea, I do” Castiel agrees, because he can feel it as well. Something has shifted inside of him, He feels at peace, but also more than that. He feels his grace, stronger than he’s ever felt it before.He feels powerful.

 

_ You were a dominion here,  _ Mariel’s voice echos through his head.

_ How did I get so powerful? _ , he hears his own voice say in response

 

It seems like such a distant memory, but now it feels as sharp as if it happened yesterday rather than weeks ago when he first had met his children. Mariel had said it. He has somehow become a dominion, but he could not have fathomed how at the time. Now, he suspects that Dean’s soul bond had  lot to do with it. He certainly isn’t a dominion yet, but the longer the bond exists, the stronger it will grow and eventually he will be more powerful than he could ever imagine. Yet, Castiel finds himself no longer caring about his grace. He’s enough for Dean and most importantly, for once, he feels enough for himself.

 

_ It’s nice to finally have some progress,  _  Castiel thinks to himself.

 

Sudden gasps from behind have both he and Dean turning their heads to the source. Johnny, Cassius and Samuel’s bodies all spring up. They gasp for air as they begin to readjust to this worldly plane once again, but what Castiel sees ultimately has him gasping for air he doesn’t even need. There, tucked safely against Cassius’ chest is Mariel. Castiel feels the bond flare with indescribable relief and happiness, the kind only a parent can feel when their child is returned home safe. However, that relief sours quickly into worry and despair as Cassius’ next words slices him deeper than any angel blade could.

 

“I’m sorry” Cassius cries. “I’m so, so sorry”.

 

Mariel isn’t breathing.


	17. Lazarus Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Sammy was little, Dean suspects maybe no more than 5 or 6 years old, he had almost died at the hands of a shtriga. Although Dean is now pushing 38 he still remembers that night like it happened yesterday. Dean had just turned 10 and with that came the start of his shotgun lessons. He was so eager to prove himself to John, wanted to be like him in every way possible. John was not the most loving man, but Dean learned early on that if you could please John Winchester, you could get as close to “loved” as humanly possible for the hunter. So even in his youth Dean strived to be the perfect soldier that John wanted--no--  _ needed _ him to be and what John needed was for Sammy to stay safe as all cost. “Protect Sammy” had not just become a mantra for Dean, it had become his identity and would for perhaps all his life.

 

The night of the shtriga attack was just like any other night since Mary had perished in that fire that flipped his life upside down--which was to say that Dean and Sam were all alone in some shabby motel room in bumfuck Wisconsin. John had went out in search of the creature three days prior and had yet to return. Thinking back on it now, Dean realizes that his decision to leave was inevitable, after all he was barely old enough to not count his age on his fingers and they had begun to run out of food. The previous morning he had given the last of what he could find to Sam and although he did not regret his decision, he couldn’t help but wish there had been enough food for both of them. Now he was coming up on a day and a half without so much as a morsel and when a growling stomach turned to hunger pain, he was forced to make the hardest decision of his 10 year old life: leave Sammy for just a few minutes and find food for them both or stay and follow dad’s orders. Needless to say, a pounding headache and upset stomach ultimately made the decision for him. 

 

Looking over at his younger brother, Dean saw that he was fast asleep on the too large for him hotel bed. Sam didn't look to be in any immediate danger. Still, John had always said you could never be too cautious, so as an added bonus Dean checked each and every window to make sure they were locked, checked for monsters under Sam’s bed--because in the Winchester’s world that was not just some cruel bedtime story told to children-- and then  with one final glance in Sammy’s direction, ran down the block to the local convenience store with all the speed his small legs could muster.

 

As always, the store clerk regarded him with a skeptical eye. This was always the case when John left he and Sam alone for too long. Dean knew that most boys his age didn’t do the things he did, like shoot real guns and buy food without their parent or steal it when said parent left no money, but he had long since learned to ignore the pitying eyes of strangers. Holding his chin up high, partially because even at 10 his “give em hell” attitude was already starting to kick in and partly because he could barely see over the counter, he slammed a whopping 3 bucks on the table. In the most serious voice a 10 year old could muster, Dean remembers asking the man just what he could get for that amount.

 

Turned out that in 1989, 3 bucks could get you a shit ton. When he returned with three dollars worth of honey buns, wise chips, and various razzle packs-- the dinner of champions-- he allowed himself to feel a little pleased at how grown up he had been. Now Sammy would have something to eat and surely John would be so proud of him. Yet all of his pride quickly turned to fear and then even more quickly into dread when the sight of Sam, grasped tightly in the hollow bone-thin arms of the shtriga, burned an unforgettable image in his head. Dean knew that he should have done something, reached for the sawed-off that John had trained him to use, hell thrown a fucking transformer at the thing if necessary, but in that moment he was paralyzed; paralyzed by fear, shame and overwhelming guilt. 

 

And that was how he stayed, frozen in place while the shtriga began to suck Sam’s life force right out of his small unconscious body. It wasn’t until the tell-tale sound of two gunshots rang through the darkness that whatever mental cog that had been fucking up Dean’s ability to do anything besides stand there like a sack of potatoes finally shook loose. Following the source of the sound, Dean was met with the hard eyes of John Winchester.John stormed past Dean, non too gently knocking his small body to the side as he brandished his own beretta, equipped with cast iron builts meant to do any shtriga in, and shot the damn thing till kingdom come. John swiftly caught Sam’s still unconscious body as the thing fell to the ground with a sick and heavy  _ thud,  _ before burning out of existence.

 

“I-is...Dad is he, is he...? “Dean had asked, unable to say what he really was thinking _ , is he dead?  _ John seemed to understand despite Dean’s silence.

 

“No, just unconscious...but he could have been. Jesus Dean, what the hell were you thinking leaving him alone like that?!” John roared, voice only increasing in anger and rage with each passing minute. 

 

Placing Sam gently back onto the bed and under the covers, John turned the full extent of his anger unto Dean. He still remembers the downright shiver that wracked his small body when his own wide green eyes met John's dark ones. Dean did not consider John abusive, not for many many years. He admired the very ground the man walked on, he wanted to be perfect for him in every way, but most of all he deeply and unconditionally loved his father. For a long time Dean allowed himself to forget what happened between him and John that night, it wouldn’t be until several years later, when Sam unexpectedly ran away to flagstaff, that Dean would yet again find himself at the hands of John Winchester’s rage. Throughout his life Dean could never figure out why he had become to object of John’s anger in those moments when the topic of Sam even remotely in danger was broached. If he’s honest, it hurt him more emotionally than John ever could physically, and while he doesn't condone his father’s behavior he thinks that maybe now he can understand it a little better.

 

Now as he looks down at Mariel’s limp form, now as he is faced with the possibility of his daughter dying, now he thinks he understands. John wasn’t angry or full of rage when Sam almost died that night, no John was full of bone crushing despair, the kind of hopelessness that makes a parent damn near lose their mind. Dean suspects that John was feeling every bit of the pain that he is feeling right fucking now.There was no way he could have ever understood that feeling or John’s expression of that feeling until this very moment. In his own heart wrenching sadness, Dean finally forgives his father, because he now knows what it is to be one. 

  
  


“Dad, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” Dean hears Cassius repeat. He keeps saying it over and over again, each time cradling Mariel a little tighter to his chest. 

 

Dean feels anger, disappointment and blame swell dirty and black inside him.  _ How could Cassius let this happen?  _ He thinks. He’s suppose to be the oldest! The big brother. The protector. What other purpose is there for him if he can’t even keep his family safe. Dean feels his anger spiral into rage, as ugly thoughts continue to burn him up from the inside out, like gasoline to a fire. His fists shake where he clenches them at his sides, eager to make his feelings known in a language Dean has become all to fluent in: the language of violence.. 

 

The soft touch of fingers over his fists snaps Dean out of his thoughts. He looks over to see concerned ocean blue eyes gazing up at him , from under thick black lashes.  _ Cas _ . Just like that the fire within Dean douses.  _ What am I doing? _ he thinks, shamefully. Cassius may be the oldest but he’s his own person, not some tool to be used. Not... _ daddy’s blunt little instrument  _ echos through his head mockingly . A wave of guilt overcomes Dean as he realizes that he is treating Cassius just as John treated him all his life. Dean may have had a shitty childhood, but he’ll be damned if he passes that onto Cassius, or to any of his kids. He can be better, he will be better than that. He owes it to himself. Right then and there, on his knees and faced with one of the most painful experiences of his life, Dean realizes that he is stronger than John Winchester ever was. Because he was able to end it. Because he chose to  break the cycle.

 

Cas squeezes his hand again gently. Dean knows that this time it's in acknowledgement and reassurance . He may not have known what was going through Dean’s head just now but the bond no doubt told him plenty enough to know that he was in distress. Dean lets gratitude shimmer through the bond, despite the situation he wants his angel to know how much that small gesture meant to him.

 

“I failed, it’s all my fault. I thought we could save her!” Cassius sobs, tears now falling freely from his blue eyes. “Aion said she would spare her, you have to know that I really believed it with all my heart, but then she forced Mariel to overuse her grace. She burn out her soul!” He wails. “ All because of me. Because I’m stupid. Because I’m just too weak. That’s all I ever will be. Not angel enough...not enough period. Why did I have to be born different, huh?! Why did I have to be the more human one” He screams fists crashing through the flooring in anger. 

 

“Cassie, don’t say that” Samuel tries somberly. He and John share a worried glance before looking back at their older brother.

 

“Don’t...Sammy just don’t” Cassius says, voice quivering as he fights to hold back tears. “All my life, I’ve had a closer connection to my soul than to my grace, if I can even call it that” He spits. “Whole lotta fucking good that’s ever done me”.

 

“Wait...your soul”, Castiel says, then again with more gusto. “Cassiel your soul!”. He shouts, eyes ablaze with new found hope.

  
  


“What?” Cassius asks completely baffled at Castiel’s enthusiasm at a time like this. He wipes at his running nose as he regard his father with wide eyes.

 

“I should have noticed it then, when we were still in the shadow realm! When Aion first bound Mariel and her grace when out, you were able to lead us to her. Not because you knew the way but because you could sense her soul. Your connection to your human side has never been a curse curse Cassius, it’s a blessing all along! And it’s what just might save your sister” Castiel says breathlessly.

 

Cassius’ eyes grow even bigger at the realization. As much as he doesn’t want to give into possibly false hope, part of him knows that Castile s right. Johnny had said that only a guide could lead travelers through the shadow realm, and for all intent and purposes that had been true. Yet, as soon as Mariel’s grace had been bound, Cassius instantly felt a pulling from within him. He didn’t even think to question it at the time because it just felt right. It felt natural, his own soul being called by a soul of the same origin, his sister. 

  
  


“Cassiel, give me your hand” Castiel prompts gently, reaching down to place his son’s hand over his daughter's heart. “Don’t be afraid to let yourself be, as you were meant to be. All these years you have tried to fight it, but your human side is nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't make you weak. It is something to  _ cherished _ ” He says, emphasizing the word cherished as he looks at Dean.  Castiel feels the bond explode with a plethora of emotion at that, love shining bright among them. “Let yourself be, you are enough” He says, echoing his own mantra from earlier. 

 

Castiel gently releases Cassius’ arm as he watches warm radiant light, in shades of amber, gold and coral, radiate up and out from Cassius’s chest, travel along his arm and spill into Mariel’s own. If Castiel is right and he is almost certain that he is, Cassius’ soul will help reawaken Mariel’s own. Aion may have severely damaged it when she forced Mariel to overextend her grace, but if there is even the slightest bit left, Cassius overwhelming abundance will be able to reset the spark. Castiel almost chuckles at the Irony of it all. If his son had been born any differently, if he had just a fraction less of a connection to his soul than he does not, Mariel would truly be lost to them. Castiel hasn’t believed in fate or destiny for a long time, but now he thinks he might.  

 

In this moment Cassius looks so very much like Dean the day Castiel found him in hell, that it makes the angel’s heart quake. Through his angelic eyes he can see just how bright and strongly his  son’s soul burns, knows that it is made of the same stuff that pumps inside Dean, the same stuff that makes him fight as passionately as he does and love with an even higher ferocity .

 

Cassius throw his head back as amber light pours peacefully from his eyes and mouth, consuming he and Mariel’s body in a gentle and loving glow. There are tears streaming down the sides of his eyes, but he is not in pain. Rather, he is overwhelmed by the sheer amount of  _ right, _ he feels. The shear amount of Mariel he can feel coming back to life. Just a softly as it came the light begins to retract back into Cassius’ body. There is a moment of silence where everyone simply hold their breath in anticipation,watching Mariel’s still limp frame in Cassius’ arms. Then, a strong sharp gasps bursts through the room.

 

Castiel is sure he speaks for everyone when he says that there has perhaps never been a better sound than Mariel breathing now.

 

Mariel’s small frame is racked with a few more hard coughs before she opens her mossy green eyes.

  
  


Everyone is standing around her and it kind of feels like the time she passed out in freshman year health class when her teacher made them  watch a live birth. If she didn’t feel like such shit, she’d actually laugh. Still she’s happy to be back, and so for once she lets her guard down and burrows more deeply into her older brother’s safe and strong arms.

 

“Shit kiddo, you gave us all a hell of a scare there”, Dean says shakily. 

 

Mariel regards him warmly. She knows that her relationship with Dean hasn’t been the best since he and Castiel arrived, but seeing the genuine care in his eyes does something to her cold exterior. They are her dad’s eyes, the same loving eyes she has known all her life. Call her soft, but maybe spending days in hell with an evil greek goddess and then dying a painful death can have that effect on you. She doesn’t want to ever experience the feeling of not having made amends if she ever dies again. The next time she looks death in the face, she wants to know that deep in her heart she loved her family with every part of her being, and that they knew it too. Life is short maybe it’s time she give this Dean a chance afterall. But, because she’s a Winchester and sass practically runs in her veins, she can’t resist teasing Dean one last time.

  
  


“Calm down Dad, you look like you’ve seen a ghost” She leers. 

  
Dean almost goes through the roof.


	18. Agape and Eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among lilies. Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love".  
> ~Songs of Solomon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so begins the NC-17 rating of my story. And yes the chapter is a YOI reference if you were curious.

Dean takes another sip of his beer, letting it ground him before Samuel launches into his next tale of  “Hell Heroics” or “Hellroics” as the kid has taken to calling them. He’s just finished recapping on the journey through the shadow realm, but Dean has an idea the chronology is a little off. The kid is practically vibrating with pent up energy, his cheeks red with amusement. Every time he starts one recollection, he quickly derails on a tangent. Currently Dean’s not sure what point in the story they are on, but he smiles at his son endearingly anyway. Hey, he’s a proud parent, sue him.

  


“A-and then, and then! Dad like smited the crap out of the Demon and he was all like graced out and his eyes were like this portal to the universe, there were like trillions of stars in them and planets! He was literally glowing and his halo, oh man, I’d never seen anything like it. He was sooooooo _beautiful_ Dad! Oh man, you should have seen him!” Samuel preens.

 

Dean looks over at Castiel, who is adamantly trying his best to hide his reddening cheeks. He knows his angel isn’t use to being the center of so much praise, but Dean is beginning to think it’s a good look on him. He think that he would have felt bad about not seeing Cas in the form he took on when he was in the shadow realm, he would, except he got to see the real thing front and center when they were confronted by those spirits. For once, Dean got to see Cas, the real Cas, no-holds-barred and that beats out anything else pretty much ever , by a long shot. One thing he has to agree on with Samuel however, Cas is beautiful.

 

He takes another drag of his beer as he returns his attention to Samuel who is now trying to reenact the fight between Aion and Erebus.

 

“Then, Erebus was all like ‘you’re going down bitch’” he says in a mock deep voice, “And Aion was like ‘No, please, I’m too weak and insignificant to die,” this time he does his best to imitate a lighter female voice.

 

“Samuel! That is not how the events occurred at all” Mariel reprimands, only partly serious. Despite Samuel’s antics, she smiles from where she is sitting on the couch next to Johnny, her head resting on a pillow in his lap.

 

Samuel gives her exasperated eyes roll as he says, “Yeah, maybe I _slightly_ changed things around a little, but hey that’s just good storytelling!” He says smugly.

 

“I don’t know guys, I feel like he’s got Erebus spot on” John teases.

 

Everyone chuckles at that.

 

"Can we talk about how amazing Cassie was! All this time you though something was wrong with you, that you were somehow weaker from having a stronger connection to your human side, and yet, I would't be alive if you were born any differently. Your amazing Cassius, truly" Mariel says with awe.

 

Cassius rubs his neck shyly as Mariel regards him. "Thanks Mar, that means a lot, really. I'm just glad to have you back sis". 

"Awww, they really do love each other!" John, Dean and Samuel tease in unison. 

"Oh shut it you guys!" Cassius says lightheartedly. Then quickly changing the subject, “But can we all take a minute to talk about how this kid took on the goddess solo and kicked her ass?!” Cassius says, pride evident in his aqua blue eyes. He quickly ducks under Samuel, lifting the kid onto his shoulders as he parades him around the living room.

 

Samuel’s squeal of surprise and laughter have everyone beaming ear to ear. Looking around, Dean realizes that this might just be the happiest he has been in, well, years if he’s honest. He’s a little buzzed, the house is warm and homey, and most importantly his family is safe. He looks around at the smiling faces of his children, how they all seem to have the same deep affection for one another that he and Sam have, and he feels his heart swell. Jesus, he and Cas actually get to have this for once, and there’s a thought he hasn’t really wrapped his head fully around yet. Even though he’s faced with the evidence every day when he looks at his kids, when he see’s his own face when looking at Cassius, or when he see’s his own green eyes and blonde hair when he looks at John and Samuel, or how he see’s Cas in every bit of Mariel. Even when faced with all of that, he still can’t believe that one day he will get to have this, that he gets to have Cas.

 

Sam let’s out a yawn from where he sits next to him. Dean guesses that he’s knocked back at least four beers by now, if the way he is practically slouching in his chair, long gangly legs draped loosely along the floor, are anything to go by.  He seems happy, but Dean knows there’s something else there. Something like worry.

 

“Hey grandpa, what’s up with you?” Dean whispers, keeping his voice low so as not to draw any attention from where Cas, John and Mariel are now trying to get Samuel off of Cassius’ shoulders. The latter pair seems to be valiantly trying to escape their efforts, all the while Samuel jokingly calls  “Mush” while atop his brother’s shoulders.

 

Dean regards them endearingly as he waits for Sam’s response. “I don’t know man. I’m happy, hell I’m thrilled that everyone is okay and that Mariel is back safe and sound, but I can’t help but wonder-”

 

“When the other shoe is gonna drop” Dean finishes for him.

 

Sam takes a deep breath, before nodding. His eyebrows are doing that nervous wiggle thing they do when he’s feeling conflicted. Dean tries to stifle his laughter with all his might, but he isn’t quick enough.

 

“I’m being serious here, dude”, Sam says, throwing Dean his most prized bitchface.

 

“I know, Sammy I know” Dean says again when Sam gives him a skeptical look.  “But look man. We won this one, we have this one night of victory. Yea, I know we still have the war to fight and we obviously have to stop Aion, but is it really so bad to enjoy this one night as a family? I’m happy Sammy, God I’m just finally really happy and it feels good. Let’s just hang onto that yeah? Let’s just, I don’t now, enjoy the moment for once in our lives” Dean says.

 

Sam regards him for a bit, he has a knowing smile on his face, but Dean can’t quite figure out what it’s about.

 

“What?” Dean ask, eyes slanting in an accusatory expression.

 

“Nothing, just Deja vu I guess,” Sam’s says with a smirk.

 

Dean suspects it has something to do with the future, maybe something that Sam can’t share without stepping on another metaphorical butterfly. Either way, Dean decides to let the comment go.

 

The two both take another sip of their beers before turning their attention on Cas and the kids.

 

“You really love him, huh?” Sam says. It’s more of a statement than a question.

 

Dean regards Cas a little longer, how human he has become in personality, how his eyes seem to glow with happiness and joy as he plays with their kids. He looks so damn happy, Dean thinks he doesn’t ever want to stop seeing that smile.

 

“Yea, Sammy I really do” Dean says fearlessly. He’s done with fear and pretending. He’s done with rejecting that part of him that has always felt for Cas. He’s done,and it’s the sweetest defeat he’s ever known.

 

They continue to bask in the moment, sometimes getting in on the fun, sometimes just watching. They play a few board games, Mariel and Cas get into one of the most intensive chess games ever known (master strategists and all that), Dean and Cassius engage in several rounds of impromptu arm wrestling, and Sam, Johnny and Samuel bicker over whether or not the physics concepts in inception were feasible. In the end, Castiel beats Mariel in an impressive display of traps, Dean and Cassius tie 5 for 5, and Samuel, John and Sam agree to settle on the fact that inception was a great enough movie to let the physics aspects slide.

 

By 1am, the crickets outside have jumped into maximum overdrive and lightning bugs flash in displays of green and yellow, alerting everyone that it’s time to call it a night. Sam is the first to head to bed, grumbling something about being too old to stay up this late anymore, followed by Cassius who is carrying Samuel’s sleeping from to bed, and then Mariel and Johnny. Dean and Cas are the last ones standing.

 

Cas looks over at him, giving Dean a shy smile. Suddenly, the living room feels way to small, and way too hot. Dean’s brain is filled with reminders from earlier yesterday. Their soul-grace bond, Cas’s true form, the heat he felt low in his gut when he saw Castiel watching him fight.

 

“Tonight was awesome huh?” Dean says, scratching his neck shyly.

 

“Indeed it was, I enjoyed myself quite a bit. It’s been a long time since you and I got to enjoy ourselves like that. It was nice to see you smile again”, Cas says, blue eyes borrowing intensely into Dean’s emerald green ones.

 

“Yeah, same. You have a nice smile Cas, you should let me see it more” Dean whispers. He feels his neck heat up at that, but he doesn’t let it get to him. He means what he says.

 

Dean feels what’s coming next before he sees it, sadness and longing in the bond manifests into tears along Cas’s baby blues. His long dark eyelashes seem to sparkle under the weight of his tears. Dean’s up in his space and gently gripping his face before he even knows what he’s doing.

 

“Cas, shit, what is it? Did I say something wrong?” Dean cooes as he wipes the tears from under the delicate skin of Cas’ eyes. He’d meant to go for flirtatious at best, but now he feels like a complete asshole. There are few things Dean hates more than seeing Cas upset.

 

“N-no, it’s not you”, Cas says shakily. “It’s just… what if I don’t get to keep this, this life, our kid’s, _you_?” He says softly. He continues to look down at the floor between their feet, unable to bring his eyes to meet Dean’s own. “Nights like these Dean, when we’re all together, I’m so happy. Happier than I have been in ages. Now that I’ve had this, how can I ever go back? I wouldn’t be strong enough Dean. It-it would destroy me to be without this now that I’ve known it”.

 

And there it is, finally Dean can see the root of Cas’ anxiety, why he hasn’t been as open to this whole thing as he has. At first Dean was worried that Cas just wasn’t as into this new part of their relationship, but now as he watches his angel crumble before him, he thinks he understands.

 

“You think things will change when we get back to our time” Dean says. It is more of  statement than a question. Cas’s silence confirms his suspicions. Dean lets out a long winded sigh. Of course Cas would be worried about this. They’ve spent the better half of 8 years lying to each other and themselves, denying what they both wanted from the very start. Naturally, it makes sense that Cas would be worried that this would be like so many other times, that they would get back to their Sam and their time and Dean would revert to calling him “buddy” and saying things like “I need you” when he’s always meant I love you. Dean is the reason why Cas has these worries now, and he hates it.

 

“Cas, look”, When the angel continues to stare at the floor, Dean grabs the back of his neck, remembering what it did to Cas before and gently forces him to look him in the eye. Cas’ wings practically go haywire as they struggle to fold into submission, to yield. Dean notices the beginning of a light blush on the angel’s cheeks as he makes his next point.

 

“Cas, I know that I’ve been a major dick in the past and I know there is no excuse, but I’m not the same person I was when we first went through that wormhole. Seeing this” He says as he gestures to the home they’ve made for themselves here, “Has shown me a life I never thought I could have, a life I made myself stop wanting a long time ago, but, now, God now I want to give this a try, I want this to work so bad it fucking hurts. I want you Cas, and it scares me out of my fucking mind, but I’m tired of pretending I haven’t wanted you since the moment I met you. Since that day you claimed me in hell. So I’m not hiding anymore Castiel. This is it, take it or leave it, but I’m all in for however long I’m shuffling on this mortal coil” Dean finishes, slightly out of breath and dizzy from his confession.

 

A long silence falls between them, but it is nothing at all like the quiet Dean is used to. What they don’t say in words, Dean feels through the bond. Fondness and love, anticipation and desire. Nervousness. There is something hanging in the balance, and both of them know what it is. They both know what they want, but they are too afraid to ask, to afraid to take this final step together.

 

“Dean, I- can I kiss you?” Cas says timidly. ANd God, does Dean love him for it, loves how he treats him like something precious, someone who is the master of their body and deserves t be respected as such. For so long Dean has thought of his body as belonging to others. First, to his father as a soldier, something expendable in battle, then to Alistair as his torturer and play thing, then again to Michael as his vessel, but now with Cas, Dean’s body is his own, his own to share with whomever he pleases.

 

“God, yes” Dean whispers as he pulls Cas into him, breathes him in for everything he’s worth. Cas tastes like redemption and fury and love and _other._ Dean loves him for it, loves him for exactly what he is. He want’s to get closer to Cas, want to rip him up and figure out all the ways they can fit together, just like they always were meant to be. The bond flares with heat and arousal, and Dean doesn’t know if it’s his or Cas’ but frankly he could give less of a shit.

 

Cas reaches down and grabs him by the small of his back, one hand dipping underneath the curve of his ass as he picks Dean up and pulls him harder against where he’s hard and wanting.

Dean honest to God moans at that. He forgets sometimes that Cas is thousands of times stronger than him and the possibilities that run through his head are downright filthy.

 

“Yea, fuck baby, just-just like that” Dean whispers encouragingly, hot and low in Cas’ ear. He hears the angel whimper as he rolls his hips up harder against Dean’s, eyes fluttering shut when the angle has them lining up just right.

 

“Dean, I want-can we please, up-upstairs?” Cas whines breathlessly.

 

“Yea, come on, come-on” Dean breathes into their next kiss. One moment Dean is dry-humping Cas for all he’s worth and the next minute he’s lying on his back, in their upstairs bedroom, with Cas’ weight pinning him down.

 

They break apart, both panting into each others space. Cas looks _wrecked_ and Den can’t stop thinking about how much of a good look it is for him.

 

“Cas, if we do this, I won’t ever let you go. God, if we do this you are _mine_. There will be no one else for me. Do you get that? Do you feel that” Dean says greedily as he pulls Cas harder against him, lets the angel feel just how much he means what he says.

 

Dean reaches up and tugs on the back of Cas’ neck, “Answer me baby, I need to know that you want this too, that you understand what I am telling you” Dean whispers against his mouth, biting down gently on his lip for good measure.

 

Cas instantly tucks his wings in, body folding inward in a display of submission. “Yes” Cas all but moans out, “Yes, Dean I-I want this, please”. With that something between them seems to click into place, the last piece of the puzzle.

 

Dean gently reaches up and helps Cas to remove his tie and button up. Cas helps Dean out of his jeans and socks. They go back and forth in this dance, each learning a new part of each others bodies as they explore and touch for the first time.

 

When skin meets skin and every expanse of flesh is connected with another, Dean pauses. He just holds Cas for a minute wanting to savor this moment, he reaches down and rubs his hands up and down the expanse of Cas’ back, taking the time to run his hand through the soft downy raven feathers that meet at the base of his shoulder blades. Cas shivers against him, and so Dean holds him tighter, angles his neck to the side so that Cas can place his face in the crook made there just for him. Dean feels him inhale deeply and he shivers at the intimacy of it.

 

“Hey”, Dean whispers causing Cas to lift his head from where it was previously nestled, “I want you to-” Dean feels himself blush. He knows what he wants but he doesn’t exactly know how to say it. It’s been awhile since he’s let himself enjoy this, to indulge in that wonderful ache and burn and sharp pleasure that he’s only ever been able to experiment with in the safety of solitude; away from the expectations of his father. He wants this but he doesn’t know how to say it, but then he remembers that he doesn't have to anymore. He lets his desire burn through the bond as he gently takes Cas’ hand and guides it along the expanse of his body, down between his legs and behind. He shivers when Cas circles his opening. He uses his other hand to grip Cas’ chin, makes eyes contact as he nods his permission.

 

Cas’ expression softens to one of love and understanding and he turns to kiss the inside of Dean’s palm as he nods. Dean is thankful that he doesn’t ask questions, Hell, doesn’t judge Dean for wanting this. Cas reaches up to the back of his own shoulders, his hands work over something that Dean can’t quite see but he hears a wet sound as Cas’ face pinches into an expression of pain and pleasure. When he removes his hands, they come away wet with a golden cream colored substance. Dean’s eyes flash in recognition, Cas is going to use his own wing oil to fuck him and if that isn’t the hottest thing he’s ever seen, he doesn’t know what is.

 

Cas reaches back down between his legs. He gently circles his opening this time letting the tip of his finger dip in on every other stroke. Dean lets his legs fall more easily open, giving Cas as much room as he needs. He feels exposed, laid bare to the bone, but with Cas that no longer feels like a weakness. No, he feels powerful. Here’s this being, this otherworldly being that wants him and Dean feels powerful enough to let him have it.

 

Cas begins to kiss trails down his stomach as he pushes his first finger inside. Dean hisses at the intrusion but quickly recovers when Cas’ mouth hovers over the base of his dick. The angel nuzzles the dirty blonde curls there before glancing up at Dean yet again asking for permission. Dean reaches out and runs his fingers through Cas’s raven black hair, gently guiding his mouth to where he so desperately wants it. He thanks his lucky stars that Cas doesn’t really know the art of teasing yet, he goes to work on Dean like he goes to battle, with force and purpose and all Dean can do is hold on for the ride. Cas takes him in like he’s starving for it. Its messy and inexperienced, but somehow it’s the hottest blow job Dean has ever gotten.  Cas’ teeth gently scrape the sensitive underside of Dean’s dick, whether by accident or purposely it has his eyes damn near rolling to the back of his head. In a fit of passion he momentarily forgets his _bedside_ manners, gripping Cas’ thick obsidian locks and thrusting deeply into the tight wet heat of his mouth. He moves to pull back, an apology quick on his tongue but one look at Cas has him two seconds from blowing his load and ending this whole thing devastatingly soon. Cas looks entirely blissed out. He doesn’t even look remotely bothered by Dean’s roughness, if anything Dean can feel him gripping his backside tighter, pulling him forwards and deeper into the angel’s mouth.

 

“Oh fuck!, yes Castiel” Dean moans. He knows that hearing his full name does something to the angel and without fail, Cas moans around his dick like it’s his day job. Dean reaches down beckoning Cas’ hand into his own. They link fingers as Dean allows himself to just _feel_ for once, to be taken care of, to be loved. He thinks about how good Cas looks like this, soft pink lips wrapped tightly around him, baby blues staring up at him like he’s something worthy, like he’s enough. He feels the coil in his gut begin to tighten, but before he lets himself go over the edge, he gently tugs Cas’ mouth off of him.

 

“W-was it not good?” Castiel asks, voice somehow more gravely than usual.

 

Dean takes one look at his angel, at his spit slick and swollen red lips and almost weeps with the absurdity of that statement. He yanks Cas up by his chin, licking his own pre-cum from the side of Castiel’s mouth before diving in to chase the combined taste of them on his tongue. When they break apart he whispers, “It was perfect baby, you are perfect, but I don’t want this to end before we’ve gotten to the good part yeah? When I break apart, I want you with me”.

 

Cas kisses him hard once, then twice before breaking away. He returns to preparing Dean, one finger turns to two and then three. By the time Cas has gotten the tip of a fourth finger inside him, Dean is all but a babbling mess.

 

“Come on Cas, I’m ready, p-please”. He says reaching his arms around Castiel’s neck and pulling him in.

 

Dean instantly notices that he looks apprehensive, a complete 180 from when he was given Dean what was probably the best blow job of his life.  He reaches up and smooths out the crease that has formed between the angel’s brows.

 

“Cas, what’s wrong baby? What is it?” Dean whispers sweetly into his mouth.

 

If he had to guess, Dean thinks he already knows what it might be. Although Cas is technically not a virgin--Dean tries not to let his jealousy and possessiveness show through the bond at the thought of April-- he is still very new to all this; he’s still new to human intimacy period. And Dean gets that, he really does because despite the countless fucks he’s ever been on the giving end of he’s never given his body over to someone quite like this, and especially never someone that he loved. Cas only confirms his suspicions when he finally speaks, looking Dean deeply in the eye.

 

“What if I- Dean what if I accidently hurt you? I know you have come to know me in this form for quite some time now”, He says, fingers delicately running over his own chest, “But, despite what you see I’m not human. I know you know this in theory, but I worry if that’s enough. Sometimes I don’t always know my own strength, I don’t _feel_ as you do physically.” He breaks eye contact with Dean, looking away, shame evident in his feature.

  


That, Dean doesn’t like. He may not know what it’s like to be an angel but he damn sure knows that Cas would never hurt him. Hell, he’d bet Sam’s life on it and that is about as high of betting stakes Dean has to wage, higher than his own life for sure. He loves Cas, he _loves_ Cas and whether or not he’s human has never been a factor. Cas is his angel and whatever comes with that, Dean’s taking the package no holds barred. He’s fought and died to be able to say that, and he knows Cas has two, more times than either of them can count.

 

“Castiel, look at me”. Cas whimpers at that as he allows Dean to take his face in both hands. “ You are what you are, and I love you for it okay. Would you-- Do you love me any less for what I am? For what Alistair made me? For what the mark had made me? Do you love me any less?” Dean feels his voice shake as he waits for Cas’ response.

 

Cas’ eyes eyes darken with conviction. “I am incapable, in my very being, to stop loving you Dean Winchester. It would sooner kill me”. He says, voice dropping low with possession. The bond flares with the intensity of his words.

 

“Then you know how I feel Cas”, Dean says. He watches with satisfaction as Cas’ facial expression changes to one of surprise and then understanding and than gratitude. He reaches down, kissing Dean fiercely, greedily taking his breath and leaving Dean panting helplessly against him.

 

“This is ours, nothing can touch us here. Not worry, not doubt, just us. So don’t hold back”, Dean commands hotly into his ear.

 

And just like the good soldier he is, Cas doesn’t need any other orders after that. He picks Dean’s right leg up, placing it over his waster so that he can nestle himself more comfortable between his legs, like he fucking belongs there because he does.

 

When he slides home, Dean feels as if the last puzzle piece has finally slotted into play. He can almost cry with how perfect Cas feels inside him, hot and heavy and so _full_. When he moves, Dean can’t help but hang on for the ride. Cas is like wildfire, burning Dean up from the inside out, he doesn’t hold back and Dean loves him all the more for it. On every other thrust, he feels himself lighting up, a spark of the keenest sense of of pleasure he has ever known, but that pales in comparison to what he feels through the bond. God, the bond is a fucking mess. It overwhelming and beautiful and painful and oh so perfect. He can feel his own pleasure-pain mixed with Cas’ and he has no idea where either of them begin or end.

 

“Deaaaan” Cas whimpers as Dean tugs roughly on the back of his neck, other hand running through the soft feathers of his wings that have now curled in submissively at Dean’s dominant gesture”..

 

“Yeah, God you feel so good sweetheart. Fucking love this, fucking love you” Dean keens. He tries his hardest to keep quiet, biting his lower lip in an attempt to hold back a moan that threatens to bubble out.

 

“It’s o-okay, I warded the room when we started. They won’t hear us”, Cas says with a smirk. “Don’t hide from me” He says, echoing Dean's words from before, “Let me hear you, Cas tells him as he lead back on his knees, pulling Dean with him onto his lap.

 

The new angle means that he’s hitting Dean’s prostate on every stroke, and Dean knows he isn’t going to last, not with the way Cas is holding him so tightly, not with the way he is whispering worship and praise into Dean’s ear.

 

“Cas, I’m-fuck!, I’m close” Dean grunts out as Cas cranes his neck down, taking one of his dusty pink nipples into the heat of his mouth. That’s all it takes, before Dean feels the bond flare a blinding white, blotting out his mind and his own grip on reality. Dean feels a rush of emotion and pleasure that is both his own and not his own. _Fuck, too much to much!_ He thinks, but he loves it, and if he dies like this, with Cas inside and around him, well hey that's just fine by him. He can vaguely feel his own come cooling on his stomach when when regains his senses, but what he is most aware of his Cas, strong and hot inside him, thrusting relentlessly as he grips Dean by his hips, working him up and down like Dean weighs nothing. Dean feels his dick give a valiant twitch at that, but he know’s he’s quite not ready yet, but he suspects that he will be.

 

They fuck for what feels like hours to Dean. Cas takes him in every way he can think of, on his side, against the wall, on his stomach. By his third orgasim, at least he thinks it’s been three, Dean is a limp, babbling mess in Cas’ arms. He reaches down, hands rubbing through the come pooling on his stomach and chest. He looks at his own hand, mesmerized, before reaching up and holding it out to Cas. He looks down at Dean possessively before taking two of his Dean’s fingers into his mouth, tasting the evidence of what they have done.  Dean lets out a pitiful moan at that. His hand drops back down to his side weakly. He can vaguely feel Cas thrusting into him below, but the feeling is overshadowed by the unyielding intensity of the bond.

 

His body quivers, over sensitized, but he doesn’t even think to tell Cas to stop. This is how Cas loves, how me shares that love with Dean, and he will take every part of it. Dean can’t even tell who is who anymore and he can’t even bother to care. Pleasure and love overtake him and he gives himself over completely to Cas, to this otherworldly being who has chosen to love him, to worship him in this way, in the only way he knows how and as exhausted and fucked out as he is, Dean takes all he has to give greedily.

 

As his stomach starts tighten with the beginnings of his fourth orgasim, he feels the first sign of Cas’ faltering hips. He doesn’t want to come again without Cas, no he wants them to feel this together. _But Cas isn’t human_ , Dean’s mind reminds him. No, he has to be clever with this, find the ways that get Cas off that aren’t necessarily physical. “ _I don’t feel as you do, physically_ ” Cas’s voice echos in his head; but Dean does know how he feels _mentally_ . Cas is a being of light and love by nature, His very essence has always made him feel more than most. Too much heart. And Dean knows exactly what get’s him off. _Love_ , and love for Cas is something Dean has an endless supply of.

 

He cranks his neck back, from where Cas currently has him on his side. He can feel the beginnings of bruises forming at the base of his hips from where Cas grips him, pushing into him from behind. He kisses Cas sloppily, the angel making it difficult to connect fully.

 

“Are you close baby?” Dean leers, deep and low. “I want you with me on this one, yeah?. I want to _feel_ how much you love me, how much you love having me like this.

 

Cas’ hips begin to stutter, rhythm faltering as Dean continues.

 

“Do you love me Castiel?” Dean whimpers, twisting his upper body and reaching his arm back to cradle the angel’s neck.

 

“Yes” Cas moan out. Body shaking with the force of his admission. His eyes are completely blown black, and his wings begin to beat frantically behind him.

 

“Show me how much, Show me sweetheart”.

 

“Dean, I- it’s” Cas whimpers as he buries his face into the the back of Dean’s neck, sucking a possessive mark into where his neck meets shoulder.

 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you” Dean says as he rolls over, hissing quietly as Cas slides out of his overly sensitive opening. He pushes Cas onto his back, climbing onto him, he grabs the hard length of Cas and directs him back home. He sinks down, breath punching out of him from the intensity of how badly he wants this. For a moment he feels disoriented and overwhelmed but then Cas is sliding his hand into Dean’s, and suddenly everything feels as it should be. Dean lifts up, watching Cas shake with pleasure as he drops back down roughly. He wants to see every second of Cas as he breaks apart, wants to revel in the fact that he did that, he made him lose control.

 

The bond begins to flare up again with the combined heat of both their approaching orgasims. He is simultaneously more aware of his own soul and of Cas’ grace than he’s ever been. He can feel something heaving growing inside of them, and as the pleasure reaches its peak, he  feels a part of them, their bond,  beginning to break apart, shattering into a single independant shared piece.

In that moment, he know’s Cas feels it too, feels a part of his grace breaking off along with a part of Dean’s soul. He rears up, wraps Dean in his arms and in the midnight of his wings and he breaks. Dean watches, he watches Cas come apart in his arms and then as the blinding pleasure of his own orgasim consumes him,  he breaks with him.


	19. Castiel Winchester Has Some Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person"  
> ~Tennessee Williams

 

Castiel dreams of Lily Sunder. Well, he supposes that dreaming might not be the most accurate description of what he is doing now. Sleep is a very human thing indeed, and Castiel has only been able to experience it for the very brief time that he was human. He didn’t much like it, for a being who has spent eons as a wavelength of celestial intent moving at the speed of light, 8 hours of sleep a night felt a lot like death, silent and still. Now, he is sort of on standby mode, more or less, as Dean has taken to calling it. He’s betwixt one world and the next, corporeal body remaining in the comfort of he and Dean’s bed while his mind roams. He takes a deep breath, lungs most certainly not needing the air, but heart needing the reminder of what he and Dean did last night. He can smell the combined scent of them on the sheets, the soft heady smell of Dean as he sleeps peacefully next to him. Perhaps this is why Lily Sunder seems to be plaguing his thoughts at the moment. He wonders what her life might have been like before Castiel and his brethren came and ripped it apart on nothing but the word of a fellow angel and a misguided sense of duty. Pain blooms in his chest and in the core of his grace. He can’t quite place the emotion, he is still new to feelings and often he appreciates that he now has Dean to help him identify what he feels through their joint bond.

 

Still he tries to identify what it is he is feeling. Thoughts of last night come flooding through the riverbanks of his mind. Dean hot and tight around him, Dean holding him close as he experienced the keenest sense of pleasure he had ever known, Dean taking him closer to heaven than Chuck ever could have, Dean, Dean, Dean. Castiel has always loved Dean, but now that he has finally been able to have him fully, mind, body and soul, he is the happiest he has ever been. And somehow it feels unfair when he thinks of Lily. Is this what she had with her angel lover before Ishim drove a blade through his chest while Castiel watched? Before he and four angels showed up at her doorstep looking to destroy her child simply because they believed her to be a nephilim? All the while Castiel lays next to Dean, body warm and naked with his own four nephilim children downstairs and can’t stop this suffocating dark stain of emotion from blooming through his grace. It isn’t right, it isn’t fair, God, he feels...What is it?...he just feels so much…

 

“Guilt” Dean’s grumbles out from next to him as he wipes his tired eyes, “And a shit ton of it from what I can feel. Woke me out of my damn sleep.” Dean sighs.

 

Castiel throws a bashful look his way. His black wings shiver with nerves as he contemplates Dean’s words.

 

“Why’re you feeling guilty Cas” Dean whispers more softly, pulling the angel closer. He reaches up, gently tracing Castiel’s eyebrow and down to the side of his jaw as he waits for an answer.

 

Castiel sighs in defeat. “I can’t stop thinking about Lily Sunder. What I put that woman through, it’s amazing that she even survived. It would  _ destroy  _ me to meet a fate similar to her own. It just seems overwhelmingly unfair that I get to have this; This house, our children, you...It just seems  unfair”. 

 

“Caaaaaas” Dean warns, “ we can’t keep doing this to ourselves. It ain't healthy man. Look, I know that what you did back in the day was not great, but baby you aren’t the same angel you were when I first met you. Hell, neither of us are the same guys we were when we came flying through that portal a few weeks ago. My point is, people change,  _ Angels _ change”, Dean emphasizes. “Yes, we have to live with our mistakes and the things we’ve done, and  we don't get a pass from that, but there has to be something else, some kind of redemption. It can’t just only be pain and suffering and guilt all the damn time can it? No, I say to hell with that. All we can do is keep on righting our wrongs in all the ways we know how, in all the ways that really matter. We can’t change the past Cas, so why continue to punish ourselves. Haven’t you and I done that enough, and it hasn’t gotten us jack shit. All we end up doing is making ourselves miserable on top of guilty. All we can do is keep learning from our mistakes and keep fighting the good fight, that’s how we do right by all the Lily Sunders of the world. Maybe that's how we get redemption”. 

 

Castiel takes a minute to contemplate Dean’s words. Somehow, Dean has always had a way of turning his own views on their head and making him doubt. Maybe it’s the passion and conviction in his voice, or the burning light that is his soul, but Castiel has never ceased to be amazed by the words that come out of this beautiful man when the angel feels he needs it most. Perhaps, he will never be able to fully forgive himself for what happened to Lily, but here, now, looking at the delicate slope of Dean's nose and the halo of sunlight that surrounds his soft blond hair, Castiel thinks that he can finally start.

 

Dean is looking up at him in the way Castiel has come to love, adoration, love  and possessive heat shining brightly through the bond. Castiel feels his wings give a pleased shiver at that. His own arousal firing back in reaction to Dean’s. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of this, this explicit and suffocating heat between them.

 

“God, I’ve made a little monster out of you huh?” Dean teases as he bites his bottom lip. He regards Castiel, taking in the sight of his red lips and pink cheeks, green eyes meeting lust blown blue ones. 

 

“You have no idea the effect you have on me Dean Winchester”, Castiel hums against his lips as he throws the wards back up. He turns over on his back, sitting up against the headboard as he beckons Dean to him. 

 

Dean reaches over using the sheets on the other side of Castiel’s body to pull himself up and over the angel’s  lap. And when he sinks himself down on Castiel’s rapidly hardening dick, body arching beautifully as he gasps for air, Castiel watches in awe. He’s still open and wet from when Castiel had him only a couple of hours before, and he sinks in to the hilt easily, sighing out against Dean’s chest. Then Dean begins moving and Castiel thinks of Lily Sunder and redemption  no more. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Good morning pop, or shall I say  _ great _ morning” is the first thing Castiel hears as he makes his way down the stairs and to the kitchen.

 

Cassius is smirking up at him from over a hot cup of coffee as he waits for a response. Castiel puts on his best “poker face” as he tries to not let the comment fluster him. In the end, the fidgety state of his wings gives away his embarrassment and he sighs in defeat as Cassius cackles loudly. 

 

“I was certain that I thoroughly warded our bedroom” Castiel mumbles to the floor,

 

“Oh, you most certainly did! That's what gave it away” Cassius grins. “Look pop, I’ve lived with you and Dad all my life, there isn’t a single one of us here who doesn’t know what it means when you throw the wards up. It’s like placing the celestial sock over the door knob!” 

 

“I don’t understand that reference”, Castiel says, head tilting to the side in confusion. “Why would anyone ever think a sock over a doorknob to be a sufficient indicator of privacy?” No, he’s certain the wards were the right way to go. He realizes that he must be reading too closely into the comment when Cassius’ laughter only seems to grow. In this moment he reminds Castiel especially of Dean.

 

He is instantly relieved when John enters the room, diverting any further teasing from his oldest son.

 

“Cassie, lay off him” John warns cooly in enochian.

 

“Alright, alright, don’t get your wings in a bunch Johnny, I just couldn’t resist a bit of teasing” Cassius says, flashing a cocky smile.

  
  


“Where’s Samuel and Mariel?” Castiel asks. While the past two days have been a much needed relief from the stresses of Aion and Mariel’s absence, he knows that this reprieve can only go on for so much longer. Castiel would be utterly shocked if Aion hasn't already started to reek havoc on humans throughout the country as she attempts to rebuild her following. He’s not so worried about the believers, more so the non-believers. He can’t imagine Aion being very merciful to them. His suspicions are only further confirmed when Mariel comes bursting into the kitchen, raven wings fidgeting with anger.

  
  


“She must be stopped!” Mariel growls. She quickly paces to the end of the kitchen and back before abruptly turning to Castiel. ”It’s only been a two days and she’s already begun to leave the bodies of those who refused to follow her in her wake.” She blips out of existence, wings carrying her to her room and then back to the kitchen. When she lands, she slams a pile of newspaper articles onto the counter, causing the nearby shelves to rattle with the force of her nephilim strength. 

 

Castiel lets his eyes wander over the various clippings, all dated between this mornng, yesterday and the day before. ‘Two sacrificed in cult ritual, Local authorities say that couple reports being told to commit crime by greek goddess’. Blue eyes travel to the next article, this one talks about how a new cult has begun to spread throughout the midwest, referring to themselves as the knights of the eternal circle, no doubt a reference to Aion. Another article reads ‘250 found burned alive at christian ceremony, lone survivor reports mysterious woman as cause’.

 

“Guess we know what happened to her unfaithful” Cassius mutters from over Castiel’s shoulder. 

“Must be hard to convert a whole convent of people who are already dedicated to another religion”.

 

“She’s only just beginning poppa, we need to do something now!” Mariel sighs, rubbing her brow in frustration. Castiel senses that there might be more to the urgency in her voice than just concern for the murdered humans. He suspects that Mariel seeks vengeance for what Aion has done to her and for what she has put their family through. While Castiel understands her pain, he also knows that the best and most skilled warriors never let emotion cloud their battle judgement.

 

“Mariel, you must be patient. You above anyone shall have your vengeance but first we must come up with a plan or we risk losing one of you yet again, and we can't have that can we?”

 

“No poppa”, She says, cheeks going pink at having been caught so careless.

 

“En Olapireta, what do we know about the best warriors in battle?” Castiel asks, knowing that Mariel will no doubt know the answer

 

“The best and brightest is the strategist, for she is always one step ahead” Mariel smirks.

 

“Yes, she is”, Castiel says proudly. Mariel preens at the praise, soft smile lighting up her previously solemn features. 

.

“Hey everyone. What’d I miss” Samuel asks as he pads over to the kitchen table. He let’s out a long yawn as he takes a seat, narrowly ducking out of Cassius’ attempt to ruffle his sleep matted blond hair. 

 

“We are getting ready to figure out a way to stick it to Aion” Cassius says. 

 

“Yea, the bitch has got it coming” Samuel grumbles. 

 

“Hey, language!” Cassius warns as he slides a plate of eggs and toast in front of Samuel. “Now eat up, and use that big nerd brain of yours to help us come up with something”.

 

“Sure thing, but shouldn’t dad be a part of this?” Samuel asks as he takes a bite into his toast. 

 

“Your father, is… still resting”, he’ll be down in a bit.

 

There’s a moment of silence before everyone breaks out in laughter. Castiel feels his face heat up as he struggles to maintain his composure. 

 

“Resting, huh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Sam giggles.

 

“I’m sorry Pop, but you walked right into that one” Johnny says, trying to hide his laughter from behind his hand.

 

Castiel gives them an exasperated eye roll as he huffs out. “Go get your uncle, I’ll go wake your father up”. With that he leaves behind the teasing whistles of his children as he flies into his and Dean’s upstairs bedroom. 

 

Dean is still laying on his stomach where Castiel left him. He takes in how peaceful the hunter looks, his features soft and innocent in the sunlight. His eyes travel down the expanse of Dean’s muscled back, stopping at where the sheets catch at his calves. He’s completely exposed, and heat pools low in Castiel’s gut at the realization that only he gets to see Dean like this. When he looks back up his eyes instantly connect with the dark mossy green of Dean’s. 

 

“Like what you see” Dean leers as he rolls over onto his back, giving Castiel a better view of him. As much as Castiel would love to do nothing more than spend all day with Dean in bed, there are more pressing concerns at the moment and it takes just about all of his willpower to not give in to his desires.

 

“How did you know I was here” Castiel asks, hoping the change in topic will give his head the much needed clarity.

 

“I don’t know, I just kind of can tell now. I guess, I can feel you or whatever. It feels like home. It’s hard to explain” Dean shrugs.

 

“The bond is getting stronger” Castiel says matter of factly.  Dean simply nods.

 

“So clearly you didn’t come back up here for round 3, so I’m guessing this is business” Dean asks.

 

“Not for lack of trying on my part”, Castiel smirks, “but yes it appears that Aion has wasted no time in putting her plan into motion”, then more seriously, “ People are dying Dean”.

 

Dean’s eyes harden at that. “How many?” he asks, voice tight with anger.

 

“250 and counting”.

 

“Son of a bitch, alright give me 20 minutes to shower and throw some clean threads on. I’ll meet you downstairs”. Dean sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face.

 

“Be forewarned, our children are in quite the teasing mood today. Apparently warding our bedroom was essentially a ‘celestial sock on the bedroom doorknob’” Castiel huffs, using air quotes to indicate Cassius’ words from earlier. 

 

“I think I can take ‘em” Dean smirks. “I don’t have a lot of innocence left to tease. We’ll get you there sooner than you know” he finishes, winking lewdly at Castiel.

 

Castiel’s wings fluff up at the comment, his cheeks heating up. “Dean Winchester you are insufferable” he says, only half serious. With that he takes flight back to the kitchen. 

 

He’s halfway through formulating at least three possible strategies to take down Aion when the sight of deep brown skin, mischievous gray eyes and curly dark hair catches his eye. 

 

“Erebus” Castiel says, surprise evident in his voice. “ It’s good to see that you are unharmed. Does John know you're here?” Castiel asks.

 

“He will soon enough, we need to talk. Gather the others” Erebus’ voice booms. Castiel senses anxiety rolling off of him in waves which is extremely uncharacteristic of the usually lighthearted god. He’s instantly on high alert.

 

“Erebus” Castiel says, placing a halting arm on the god. “What is it?”.

  
“It’s Aion...she’s on her way here”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially, Dean and Cas were supposed to have jumped through the time-loop sometime around episode 1 or 2 of this new season. But, after seeing Lily Sunder has some regrets I couldn't possibly ignore the potential of character development and exploration that that would have for my version of Cas, and his new life with a human and four nephilim. I imagined there would be some level of guilt and I wanted to play around with that. So now they have jumped through the time whole circa the Lily sunder episode. If you are still reading please let me know what you think in the comments. This is my first fic so I'm always open to encouragement or criticism. Thanks!


	20. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He Who Increaseth Knowledge Increaseth Sorrow"
> 
> ~ Ecclesiastes 1:18

Dean is about halfway through jamming one of his feet into his pair of jeans when he nearly topples over from the overwhelming worry pulsing through the bond. He quickly recovers, running his hand through his still shower damp hair as he regains his balance, making quick work of his other leg before fishing around the room for a shirt to throw on. He doesn’t need to know why Cas is sending waves of anxiety a million beats per minute through the bond, all he needs to know if somethings got the usually level headed angel riled up, it must not be good… like Aion not good.

 

He reaches down to pick up a shirt from the bottom dresser drawer, groaning at the faint ache in his backside. This is definitely new, not bad, but definitely different. Several images from the previous night flash through Dean’s mind: Cas pinning him up against a wall as he pounds into him steady and fast, Cas holding him down on his stomach, arms wrapped possessively around his neck and shoulder as he pushes Dean to the edge for the 3rd time. Dean quickly shakes the thoughts out of his head.

 

“So not the time Winchester”, he mumbles to himself as embarrassment overtakes him. He makes quick work of his shirt and and then books it to the stairway, taking the steps two at a time as he descends. When he gets to the bottom, he has to take a minute to steady himself as overwhelming fatigue grips him suddenly, he holds onto the banister for support. _What the fuck was that about?_ Now that he thinks about it, he’s been exhausted all morning. He assumed it was because he had just received the best fucking of his life, but this right here, this is something else. He makes a mental note to have Cas check him out later, but now they have more pressing issues at hand. When he makes it to the living room he finds that he’s apparently late to the party.

 

The first thing he notices is Cas, which is not a surprise because that seems to be the first thing Dean has been noticing for quite some time. Cas is trying his hardest to put on his best poker face, but the bond is doing its absolute best to betray him as it send waves of worry. The second thing he notices is someone he definitely does not know, standing a little too close to Cas for comfort. The dude is at least 6’ 5”, has the body of some type of crossfit athlete and is currently staring at Dean from behind bright grey eyes. He’s decked out in some type of tan cargo pants, tied at the ankles with sturdy leather strings and a solid black henley. He’s wearing what looks like gladiator type sandals on his feet and an array of leather bands and beaded jewelry hand from is neck and wrists. For all intent and purposes he reminds Dean of some of the bohemian asshats he’s seen strutting around during New York fashion week. He doesn’t know how he is able to, but he can sense something definitely not  human about the guy, an air of old magic. Dean is instantly on high alert.

 

“And just who the fuck might you be?” Dean asks, doing his best to throw on his biggest shit eating grin.

 

“Dad…” John warns from across the room.

 

Bohemian model guy lets out an amused huff, crossing his arms as he regards Dean with a smile.

 

“Sorry, am I missing the joke here?” Dean says coldly.

 

“No, not at all. I just find it amusing that your brother said something of similar nature upon seeing me as well”, He says’ gesturing over to wear Sam is sitting on the couch watching the situation with a careful eye.

 

“What can I say?” Dean puffs up his chest a bit “I raised him well” He says proudly.

 

“That you did, you Winchesters sure do live up to your legacy”. A beat passes before he continues. “I am the god known as Erebus, formerly known as Osiris , god of the underworld and shadow realm territories” Erebus says, extending his hand out to Dean. “Most importantly”, he says looking to John for approval, when John gives his consent, cheeks going pink, Erebus continues “I am currently the soulmate of your son John”.

 

Dean blanches slightly at that but shakes the god’s hand anyway. _So this is the Erebus Samuel was talking about in his reenactment last night,_ Dean thinks to himself.

 

“Soulmate huh?’ Dean grunts. He feels Cas sending waves of reassurance through the bond and that's enough to at least keep Dean quiet. If Cas trusts this dude than Dean can take that as a start, at the very least. He doesn’t much believe in the whole soulmate crap, but if Erebus and John feel about each other in any way remotely like how he and Cas feel about each other, than Dean thinks he might understand. Falling in love with Cas was never an explainable thing, it just felt right.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean can see Mariel, Cassius and Samuel standing stiffly to his right, their wings fluttering with expectation and pent up tension. Everyone is waiting for Dean’s next move. He finds that endearing, but he also knows that he has a chance to not make things worse and so he takes it.

 

“Alright well that’s fine, I guess”. He says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “But, I uh, I suppose you didn’t come here just to ask for my blessing or whatever, what’s going on?” And just like that the tension is broken. Dean can see John physically sigh out with relief. He winks at his direction for extra support, He wants his son to know that he supports him no matter what. John smiles back gratefully at him.

 

“Let me be brief, after my battle with Aion ended in a standstill, more or less, she quickly left the shadow realm. She stated that she had little quarrel with me as she has only come for the intention of forcing me to open the gates of purgatory so that she could tap into the souls. This much I am sure you all already know. At the time, I would say that our power was equally matched, but each day spent with the souls, each day with Mariel’s grace keeping her sustained, and each day she forces more humans into following her, she grows stronger from their belief. She has already killed hundreds of humans who have chosen not to form a covenant with her and the murders will only continue. In the past two days I have been tracking her, unnoticed. She speaks of madness, of unleashing the beasts and creatures that once existed in ancient times, centaurs, griffins, chimeras! She speaks of resurrecting the gods and demigods of old, of ancient Greece. She wishes to return time to as it ways in those days, where humans coward in fear of the mystic, to make earth great as it once was, at least in her eyes.

 

“Sounds alot like the current president from my time. Crazy orange bastard” Dean mutters. He’s suddenly hit with another wave of fatigue, and he leans against the wall for support.

Erebus gives him a questioning look.

 

“Nevermind”, Dean says waving a dismissive hand.

 

“So, why is she coming here?” Cassius asks, piping up from the corner. “ I mean, don’t get me wrong, Aion needs to be stopped, but usually that’s not how this thing works. I mean doesn’t it always make sense for the bad guy to go on the run, rampaging around or whatever,  and we come after her?”

 

“You are still very much in the mindset of a hunter young Winchester. Aion is no such creature of the night, no werewolf or vampire of minor spawn of Eve. You are dealing with a goddess now,  by nature we aim to destroy that which seeks to destroy us, first. I know this because I have lived a great many eons with Aion, and I’ve seen it time and time again. This is her strategy. She will come for you, use the element of surprise as they say. Make no mistake, if it were not for me, you would never have seen her coming. I suspect that you have a week at best, ” Erebus warns.

 

“Erebus”, John says, gently tugging on the god’s sleeve from where he sits on the couch. Erebus instantly drops down into a crouch, putting himself at eye level with him. “You know I trust you, but what can we do to stop her?  Where do we even begin? Last time we faced her, we barely made it out with our lives and she wasn’t even anywhere near as strong as you say she is becoming now.” John sighs.

 

“It won’t be easy, but we have to stay strong my love”, Erebus says, carding a comforting hand through John’s dark locks.

 

“He is right, it won’t be easy, but we will play to our strengths”, Castiel says, stepping confidently into the group's center. “I have never been a particularly strong angel-”

 

“Cas” Dean huffs, “we talked about this, that’s not tru-”.

 

“I know that now Dean, just let me finish, please” Castiel says, sending comfort through the bond. “I have never been a strong angel, as you know I was footsoldier at best, I worked my way up to Garrison leader through hard work and struggle. Countless times I had to face enemies stronger than me, insurmountably stronger than me, but each time I prevailed, each time I did so as only a seraphim. The point I am trying to make is that, your father and I have faced Lucifer, Michael, Leviathan, Eve and God and his sister Amara themselves, yet we are _still_ here. I would not be foolish enough to say that facing Aion will be easy, but I know it is not impossible to defeat her. We must play to our strengths and we must be smart about of choices.

 

“We have the power of foresight” He says proudly as he places a strong hand on Samuel’s shoulder. “We have the gift of protection” He says as he makes his way around the circle, stopping at Cassius. “We have the power of interdimensional travel “ Castiel says, gesturing toward John, “And we have our wildcard, whose time to finally let go and let herself find out just how strong she can be has come” He says, glancing at Mariel. “We have Dean and Sam Winchester, whose name and reputation speak for themselves, and we have a master strategist” Castiel boast proudly of himself. “But most importantly, we have something Aion does not have...We have allies and we have family and that makes us stronger in ways that she could never imagine. For all intent and purposes, she is alone, and alone she will die” He finishes confidently.

 

The room falls silent momentarily, but it is not a silence born of worry or anguish, it is silence born of awe and rapidly forming conviction. Dean can fucking feel it in the air. The kind of feeling you get after receiving a pep talk on game day. He doesn’t think he has ever heard Castiel speak with so much conviction and force. He feels himself and everyone in the room being rejuvenated from his word alone, and his pride, pride in Castiel, shines fiercely through the bond.

  


“Alright you all heard the man, We got work to do” Dean says.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Alright”, Cassius sighs, stretching until his back releases a satisfying pop. He groans out in relief as he turns to the group. “I’ve got a whole lot of zilch with a side of squat. How about ya’ll?”

 

Mariel shuffles her wings in frustration, causing one of the lore books to slide off the table. That seems to be her breaking point as she stands up abruptly, hands in her hair, “Okay, screw this I quit!” she says, slamming her chair against the table in frustration. The jolt wake Samuel, who has apparently fallen asleep over his own lore book.

 

“Huh, what’d you say Johnny?” Samuel says, wiping drool from the corner of his mouth, his eyes are barely open as he turns to his older brother.

 

“I didn’t say anything feather brain” Johnny says, trying hard not to laugh at his usually nerdy book worm brother's disheveled state.

 

“Oh, sorry” Samuel says shyly. “So, did anyone find anything?”.

 

They all release a collective “Not yet”.

  


“Maybe, maybe we can remove the souls, like Dad did with Pop all those years ago?” John offers.

 

“That’s not too bad of an idea but in order to do that we would have to somehow get Aion back to the gates and then hold her long enough to chant the incantation that would return them. That’s about as easy as trying to trap a hurricane with a fishing net”, Mariel sighs.

 

They sit for another moment, defeated.

  


“Wait a second!” Samuel says, eyes growing as wide as saucers. “If aion is only as strong as she is because the purgatory souls, and the purgatory souls are only where they are because of Mar’s grace, then maybe we shouldn’t be so focused on the hurricane, maybe we should focus more on what we can control!”

 

“In English Samuel!” Cassius coaxes impatiently.

 

“Maybe what we need to do is find a way to return Mariel’s grace back to her body, then the purgatory souls will do what they always do, self destruct the host. It’s like pulling the one Jenga piece, the whole tower will come tumbling down!”.

 

“Holy shit Samuel, you’re a fucking genius!” Cassius whoops. “That’s my boy” he says, placing a comforting hand on Samuel’s shoulder. Samuel beams with pride at his brother’s approval.

 

“Way to go kid”, Sam says from where he’s been sitting on the couch, lore books laying haphazardly over his lap. “I must have the smartest niece and nephews in the world. Must have gotten it from Cas” Sam teases.

 

“Ha-fucking Ha, Sasquatch”, Dean says sarcastically as he emerges from the bathroom. He throws the tissue that he used to dry his hands at Sam, who makes a grumbled noise of dismay. Then turning to Samuel he says, “Looks like someone’s got good news. Alright come on, Spill kid”.

 

Samuel is about halfway through his explanation when something snags Dean’s attention. He notices from across the room that Erebus and Castiel appear to be having some sort of discussion in the kitchen. Castiel looks his normal stoic self, until Erebus reaches down and whispers something in his ear. Suddenly, the bond flares with anxiety and surprise, than the slightest bit of happiness which is quickly squashed by more dismay. Dean strains his  hearing to the best of his ability but it still isn’t enough. No, he needs to push harder, tap into something a little past human limitation. He doesn’t know how he does it, but the more he struggles to listen to what’s happening two rooms over, the more he is actually able to hear. It feels like someone is turning up the volume of a radio speaker little by little. Dean feels his other senses going dark, giving all priority to his ears. He can barely see Samuel anymore. He doesn’t know how he’s doing this, but he suspects that he’s somehow tapping into the power of the bond. Finally he can hear Erebus and Cas as if he were in that very room with them, clear as a bell.

  


“Erebus, are-are you absolutely certain?” Castiel asks the god, panic evident in his voice.

 

“I am very certain Castiel. I noticed it when we first spoke this morning. I thought you were aware of it until now. Can’t you feel it in your grace, a part of it has broken off and relocated within you?” Erebus asks, eyeing the angel with a scrutinizing eye.

 

“I didn’t--but now that you mention it I can feel something. It’s hard to explain, but I feel a bit weaker. A part of my grace hasn't completely left its just not exactly mine anymore”. Castiel says in awe, hand rising up to his chest, resetting over the place where his grace lies.

 

“And Dean…” Erebus starts

 

“Dean? What about him?” Castiel asks defensively.

 

“Surely you have noticed that a shard of his soul is missing as well. His fatigue all morning?” Erebus questions.

 

“I just thought, I thought he was tired. I never imagined that he was, that we could be--Now, of all times?” Castiel says, despair evident in his features. “What will we do, how can we face Aion like this? It will take some time for us to regenerate the parts of ourselves that we lost. And even then, how long until _it_ happens.

 

“I'm not entirely too sure Castiel, but when he is ready, you can then recite the incantation to bring him forth", Erebus offers. "And Castiel, I know that the timing may not be ideal, but make no mistake this is a joyous moment. Try to find the light in that. Perhaps, some change will be good for you and Dean, even if you don't know it yet. Congratulations are in order!” Erebus bellows as he slaps a large hand onto Castiel’s shoulder.

 

 _Bring him forth? And just where the hell does this Erebus dick get off saying that Cas needs change? What's wrong with how things are now?_ Dean wonders. He thought that the angel was happy with their relationship. He knows it's all still so new and a lot to take in but he was just starting to let himself think this was real. Or at least he hoped it was just as real for Cas too.

 

"But what if-- What if I hurt him, He'll be inside me the whole time, If I use too much it could cause irrevocable damage" Castiel says, voice going high in panic. 

 _Okay, hold the fucking phone for just a goddamn second_. Now Dean has always considered himself a level headed person, but can you really blame a guy for freaking out when his boyfriend starts talking about some other dude being inside him. Dean's only human and he's got his limits

"Castiel, you must relax! Everything will be exactly as it is meant to be. I know that you will be all the more happier for it. I can see inside you Castiel, I know that this has been a desire of yours for some time, surely Dean will understand" Erebus says, placing two placating hands on the angel's shoulders.

 _Yea fat change buddy, like hell I am._ Dean grunts under his breath. He waves a dismissive hand at Samuel when he notices, urging him to continue despite the fact that he has no intention of stopping his eavesdropping session. 

“Dean…” Castiel says, voice far off. “Dean...Dean! We mustn't tell him! Not now at least, it would only cause more unnecessary worry and we all need to be thinking clearly if we are going to face Aion. And as for _him_ , I love him and what's done is done. He is mine now, whether Dean accepts this or not, I have made my decision" he says firmly.

And that, that right there is what finally does Dean in. All his anger suddenly turns to deeply rooted pain. Cas is in love with someone else, and what's worse, he doesn't even think Dean is worthy enough for a face to face confession. He much rather plot with Erebus than put Dean out of his misery. And for what? because he thinks it will somehow fuck with their mission against Aion. Sheesh, he deserves a little credit. He's a goddamn professional after all. What's a little more heart break on a Winchesters plate? Except if Dean's honest he hasn't felt pain quite like this since hell.

 

Erebus sighs out in frustration, grabbing Dean's attention once more. “Castiel, I agree that the children should not know, as it could ruin the timeline, But Dean needs to know, you can not keep this from him. You must tell him that--”

 

Just when Dean thinks that Erebus is going to finally drop the bomb to finally give Dean the confirmation and closure he needs, Cas closes him out. The bond shuts down abruptly, leaving Dean even more disoriented and shaky than he has already been feeling since the morning. Slowly his senses return to their normal human state, and his eyesight, along with his other sense,  is restored.

  


“Dad?” Samuel asks warily, waving a hand in front of Dean’s face. “You okay?”

 

“Yea...Yeah I’m fine Samuel” Dean says, offering up a weak smile. “Why don’t you call everyone else in here so we can get this show on the road huh?” He says patting Samuel on the back reassuringly.

 

Samuel regards him with a worrying eye before doing as he’s told. “Pop, Erebus! We got something!” he shouts.

 

When the two emerge from the kitchen, Dean eyes Castiel with the hardest look he can muster. He knows that he’s not really angry, just hurt, and anger has always been his shield when those he loved cut deepest. He paws at the bond pathetically, but Castiel does not open it back up. God, he’s so tired, but now on top of that he’s heartbroken. Castiel is keeping secrets again, after all that they’ve been through, Dean at least thought they were over that shit. His mind runs rampant with possibilities. What is so important that he can tell Erebus, a perfect stranger, and not Dean? Maybe Cas doesn’t want to continue this thing they have going. Afterall, there is clearly someone else that the angel wants to summon. Probably another angel or some other being worthy of Cas. Isn't that what Erebus had said? Dean can’t help but feel like a complete idiot for thinking that Cas would ever want him, a high school dropout, former demon, human piece of shit. Everyone Dean has ever loved has abandoned him. It was only a matter of time before Cas left him too.

 

He tries the bond one last time, because even though Cas has made it clear that he doesn’t want Dean anymore, and even though he feels broken and rubbed raw, and even though he’s exhausted as shit, he still loves the idiot.

 

He looks up to find Cas staring at him. But instead of his angel, instead of the warm glow of the bond he’s gotten so use to over the past few weeks, he’s met with stone cold blue. His heart breaks for the second time that afternoon. He knows those eyes, remembers them like a distant memory. The same dead eyes that burned into him all those years ago in a dark abandoned barn in Pontiac, Illinois.

 

_Well, fuck._


	21. The Attribute of the Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong"  
> ~Mahatma Ghandi

Three days into the week and everyone is already on edge. If Erebus is right, and that’s a big fucking  _ If _ ,  they all have about four more days until Aion comes for their heads. To top it all of Cas has been avoiding Dean ever since the whole weird conversation with Erebus. Dean is trying to handle it as gracefully as he can, but things with Cas have never been graceful. It's always been bloody, and passionate, and beautiful and violent and just a whole clusterfuck of things, but Dean was always able to handle it because he knew--at least in his heart-- that he was falling in love with Cas. But now, there is none of that, Cas is in love with someone else. Dean has somehow ruined this good thing they had going--no surprise there-- and now he doesn’t know how to handle this new Cas. He feels empty, and more alone than he’s ever felt in his life. Now that he’s known what is is to be with Cas intimately , to feel his every emotion, and the constant pressure of the bond, he feels hollowed out and cold without it. Above all else, he wishes Ca would just  _ tell _ him the truth straight to his face. He deserves that at the very least, doesn't he?

 

Over the course of the three days, Dean has tried his hardest to keep his emotions to himself, but there is one person in particular who ain’t having that and it just so happens to be the one person who knows him better than anyone in the whole universe. Sam WInchester is a force to be reckoned with when he wants to know something. The thing is, so is Dean when he doesn’t want said someone to know something. Every one of Sam’s inquires is met with a cold shoulder, eye roll or an annoyed “Sam, just drop it okay? I’m fine”. It isn’t until they are all in the basement, making salt rounds and sharpening knives for anticipation of Aions lackeys that Deanreaches his breaking point.

 

“Dean can you hand me that blade,” Cas asks, his voice dry and devoid of emotion. 

 

“Samuel, hand Cas that blade will you?” Dean throws out, not even bothering to give Cas a once over. He continues to clean out his beretta as if the angel doesn’t exist. He knows he’s being childish but he doesn’t give a fuck. When Cas starts talking to Dean like the angel he knows and not the cold dick he met 8 years ago, he’ll start being an adult again, fuck you very much.

 

Samuel looks up, surprise evident in his features as he look confusedly back and forth from  Dean to  Cas. “Uh, sure Dad,” He says reluctantly as he slides the blade over to Castiel. Dean can feel Cas’ stare burning into the side of his face but he continues cleaning his gun, acting as if the angel doesn’t even exist.

 

Cassius, sensing the tension and Samuel’’s distress, reluctantly steps in to break the silence. 

“So Pop, do you really think that Aion is going to even need a bunch of lackeys to attack us. I mean she’s pretty powerful now right, wouldn't it be kind of a waste to pack all of this stuff?” He says as he packs another salt round.

 

“We can never be too certain Cassiel, We must make sure we have all bases covered. On thing I have learned in my time as a strategist for heaven's garrisons is that the underdog can never be overly prepared. Although truthfully, I’m not to sure what entirely to expect”, Cas says.

 

“Oh  _ now  _ he wants to be truthful!” Dean grunts, slamming his beretta on the table. 

 

Cas’ look shifts from one of surprise then hurt and then settles on annoyed. Dean allows himself to feel a bit of triumph at getting the angel to show the first emotion he’s seen on him in three days.

 

“I’m sorry Dean, I didn’t quite catch that” Cas says cooly. Dean knows he’s picked a bone, but he doesn’t care. 

 

The room goes silent as all eyes are suddenly on Dean and Cas

 

“ Oh like hell you didn’t”, Dean sneers. “You now what Cas, that’s just great. I guess only some of us are worthy of the truth huh?”.

 

“Dean…” Cas warns,  eyebrow arching up in annoyance.

 

“What Cas? Huh? First you close the damn bond, then you treat me like I don’t even exist? You have some fucking nerve you know that” Dean spits.

 

“I’m doing what I have to do to keep us all safe and focused,  you’ll understand soo-” 

 

“Oh I fucking understand. You think I can’t handle a little heart break? You think I’m that weak, that you’d rather shut me out than tell me the truth? Well too fucking late, I heard you and Erebus, Cas! I know about  _ him!  _ And let me just tell you buddy, I don’t give a rat’s ass what you have to say, I’ll never approve of it. I-I just can’t” Dean says, voice breaking off in pain. 

 

“This is why I was afraid to tell you!” Cas roars. He stands up abruptly from his chair, raven wings flashing into existence with a sonic boom. “I always feared that you would do this, that you would just throw away everything. Even after you promised me nothing would change, and I- I stupidly allowed myself to believe you AGAIN!” he says, eyes filling with tears. “I can’t keep doing this with you Dean, I just can’t”.

 

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one changing things! I was happy, shit Cas I was so damn happy, but I never thought that you would fall for someone else! Jesus,” Dean says, running an exasperated hand through his hair, “You were it for me, couldn’t you see that? I thought I was it for you too...:” Dean says, trailing off into silence.

 

Cas gives him a baffled look, he sends Erebus a helpless look to which the god just shrugs his shoulders, before shifting his gaze back to Dean. “In love with someone else? Dean I--”

 

But Dean doesn’t want to here anymore. Something about the way Cas looks at Erebus sends him reeling. He’s just about had it with Mr. Bohemian model knowing more than he does.

 

“You know what Cas, stow the crap! This was a mistake, this whole thing was a big fucking mistake. This future is a big joke, and I get it okay. You just figured you’d come down here and see what it was like to roll around in bed with a mud monkey huh? WHy not Dean Winchester, he’s pretty easy, is that it?” Dean spits.

 

“Dean, cool it! You really want to do this in front of the kids?” Sam cuts in, but Cas is too worked up now and he takes Dean’s bate easily. 

 

“How dare you! I have sacrificed everything,  _ EVERYTHING _ for you Dean. I have fought my own family for you, I’ve died for you and yet you have the audacity to objectify me like, like I’m this thing, this unfeeling tool that is incapable of love.” Cas growls, stepping into Dean’s space.

 

“Hey, I just call em like I see them” Dean says bitterly. He instantly regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth. He knows that that’s the hammer, and he can see the hurt in Cas’ eyes from a mile away. 

 

“You son of a bitch”, Cas growls out, hot tears slipping down his cheeks. 

 

Dean fights to remove his gaze from Cas, he’s always hated seeing Cas cry. Cas bores into him, Dean feels like his very soul is being picked apart. It’s too much, he needs a break, but when he finally does look away it’s to where his children are huddling together in the corner, discomfort and worry etched on their faces. Samuel is clinging to Cassus side, while his older brother wraps a protective arm around his shoulders. In this moment he looks every bit the child that Dean sometimes forgets he is. He hates that he’s put those expressions on their faces, and he hates that despite all that these kids have faced, he’s the one who's managed to scare them worse than any demon, goddess, witch or vamp ever could. 

 

“Okay! alright that’s enough! Everyone who is not my brother and Cas, out of the house, now!” Sam booms from the corner. Sam seems to sense Dean’s regret, and for that Dean is eternally grateful to his baby bro. 

 

As if relieved, all four nephilim and one god blip out of existence immediately. 

 

“Sam--” Dean tries.

 

“No, don’t you ‘Sam’ me. You’ve been acting like an ass all week, dude . You and I are gonna fucking talk, and after that you and Cas are gonna fucking talk” Sam says, breathing out in frustration. “Cas, can you give us a minute?’.

 

Cas nods his head in agreement, throwing Dean one last cautious look before flying upstairs.

 

“Okay, Dean what in the actual hell? What was all that?” Sam says, flopping down onto the couch. He regards Dean impatiently. Classic bitchface set in place as he waits stubbornly for a response.

 

They engage in some weird silent staredown before Dean finally caves, because he  _ always _ caves.

 

“Sam...fuck’. Dean sighs as he takes a seat across from his brother. “Sammy everything’s gone to shit. I don’t even know how it happened, but somewhere along the line Cas apparently fell in love with some other guy, angel, person or whatever. He doesn’t want me anymore, man”. 

 

“Dean...what would even make you think something so stupid? Cas is literally physically incapable of loving someone else. He is an angel, he wasn’t supposed to love anything other than God in the first place. And yet, I’ve seen him love you. I saw it first all those years ago when you came back from hell, and I’ve seen it each day you raise your kids together. He loves you Dean, unconditionally. I don’t know how all of this”, Sam says gesturing to the house around them, “hasn’t put that through your thick skull yet”. 

 

“ I thought so too Sammy, but I heard it with my own ears. I was snooping on their conversation from the living room, Apparently, I can kind of tap into his grace and enhance my senses. He was telling Erebus that he loved someone else.” Dean says, voice shaky with emotion.

 

“Dean you were spying on Cas?!” Sam chastices.

 

“Okay so not the point here Sam!” Dean shouts

 

“Rights, okay sorry” Sam says, clearing his throat and throwing up placating hands. “Just wait a second okay, what  _ exactly  _ did Cas say?” Sam says, leaning in to get more comfortable. 

 

“Well, I don’t really understand it exactly, Cas was acting all weird and panicky, I felt it through the bond so listened in. Erebus said something about a part of Cas’ grace breaking off and relocating inside him or something, and then he asked about my soul. He said he noticed that I was tired all day, which is true, I’ve been pretty fucking swamped but I figured it was just from the uh... _ excitement _ of the past few days” Dean feels his face heat up at that, but thankfully Sam doesn’t tease him. 

 

He continues, “Then Cas asked him how long he had to wait before he could summon some guy and that he didn’t care how I felt about it because he already loved the dude or whatever. Erebus tried to get him to tell me the truth but Cas said that it would just stress me out, which was pretty stupid because I think I’m stressed more than ever now. And to top it all off Erebus actually congratulated Cas on his decision to go pursue this fucking mystery man, that dick! He said it would be a good change for him and that he always wanted this for himself. Fuck, I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I let myself think that I could actually have a life with Cas!”, Dean finishes, voice raw with the strain of unshed tears.

 

Sam sighs out, “God Dean, well you got one thing right. You are stupid, but not for the reasons you think”.

 

“Jesus Sam, thanks for the sympathy” Dean mutters.

 

“Dean, I really don’t think it’s my place to tell you the truth, but Cas hasn’t let me much of a choice and I really can’t take another day of you brooding around the house like this”.

 

“Hey, hey, hey,  I was not brooding” Dean says, holding up a finger.

 

“Dean, come on” Sam warns.

 

“Fine, maybe just a bit” Dean reconciles. 

 

Sam lets out another sigh before scrubbing a shaky hand through his hair. “Okay, Dean. Do you remember the night we were all playing games and celebrating Mariel’s return?”

 

“Yea, what’s your point--”

 

“Dean, just, just let me finish okay?” Sam pleads. Sensing Sam’s seriousness, Dean nods his head silently.

 

“And do you remember when I ask you if you really loved Cas and you said yes, and then I told you I had a moment of Deja Vu?” Sam asks.

 

Dean nods his head again. He remembers that, but he had just thought it had something to do with what his other self had said. He figured Sam couldn’t tell him because it would somehow fuck with the future or whatever. He wonders why Sam is telling him all of this now.

 

“Well, I said it was Deja Vu because...because you had said that to me before. I didn’t realize it at the time because the circumstances had changed so much. When you said it to me the first time, it was in a whole different setting and I just didn’t put two and two together until now. But, now it’s the only thing that makes sense”. Sam says.

 

“Sam what the hell are you talking about?” But Dean thinks he already knows. He feels his heart slide down into his stomach.

 

“Dean, you said that to me a few days before Cas found out that you guys were having Cassius”, Sam says, watching Dean closely.

 

The first time Dean can say he ever felt time stop was when he thought he’d lost Sam for good. Way back when yellow eyes had him in some demon blood hunger games that ended with Sam taking a blade through the spine and Dean desperately clinging to him in the mud. And even though they’ve died and come back so many times since then, nothing has ever froze time like that for him since, at least nothing until this moment right here.

  
  


“Cas, is carrying Cassius, right now?” Dean asks softly, voice light with awe.

 

“Yes Dean, that’s what he meant about summoning ‘him’. He will carry Cassius’ grace-soul in his own grace until he is mature enough to come out. The incantation will just help him manifest into his body. It’s a lot to take in and a but weird to explain , but I’ve seen it enough times now to know how it works. So when Cas said he loved another person, he wasn’t talking about another man, he was talking about your son, Dean.  _ Your _ son”. Sam says. 

 

God, Dean feels so stupid. How did he not realize. Everything makes sense now. It feels like a storm has cleared and now he can see what’s waiting on the horizon. 

 

“Sammy, how old are you?” Dean asks. He knows it’s an out of the blue  question but Sam seems to know where he’s going with it.

 

“I’m 52 Dean. In this time you are 56 so we are pretty damn old”, Sam says, smiling.

 

“And Cassius--Cassius is 18”, Dean says quietly. Sam nods his head in approval.

 

Dean’s just passed his 38th birthday back in 2017. It all adds up. He looks at Sam, head snapping up and eyes widening.

 

“You knew! That’s what you meant when you said that  this wasn’t how me and Cas got together all those weeks ago. You knew that It would be at this age, at least for me”. Dean says.

 

Sam nods his head slowly, “I did, but Dean you have to understand why I couldn’t tell you. It could have collapsed this whole timeline, who even knows? But it was a risk I just couldn’t take. I had enough faith that you and Cas would find your way to each other without me meddling around”. 

 

“Shit Sammy” Dean breathes.

 

“Yeah” is all Sam can think to offer.

 

“God, and the things I fucking said to Cas…” Dean wines, voice trailing off. He takes a moment to collect himself before continuing. “How do I even begin talking to him about this?”.

 

“Dean, try not to be too hard on yourself. Cas is not without some of the blame here too, man. He should have told you and he should have trusted that you would love him enough to understand. I would have probably freaked out too if I only had half of the information. My  _ point _ is that you guys need to talk and you both need to apologize to one another. I’m going to go met up with the kids and Erebus, wherever that is. Take this time to fix it Dean, okay?” Sam says softly. 

 

He reaches up and places calming hands on Dean’s shoulders. Then, because he knows Dean needs it, he pulls him into a hug. God, does it feel good. Dean just lets himself collapse into his brother’s strong arms. Just lets the emotional strain of the past three days drain out of him. Dean doesn’t realize that he’s sobbing until the front of Sam’s shirt is wet. Sam just continues to hold him through it, because he’s always been this for Dean, this emotionally supportive rock. Yet, Dean can’t help but notice how much of the “older brother” Sam looks right now. He’s 52 to Dean’s 38 and its strange to see him in this light. He tries not to think too hard about it.

 

Sam pats his back softly before they break apart. “You got this, Dean. Be strong okay. Don’t be afraid to tell him how you  _ feel _ ”. He walks over to where the impala’s keys are resting on the table. He grabs them, giving Dean one last supportive hug before  heading upstairs. 

 

“I told him Cas, he’s ready to talk if you are”, he hears Sam say before the sound of a closing front door and the revving of the impala’s engine signals his absence. 

 

For a moment there is nothing but deafening silence as Dean stands alone in the basement. After another minute passes, he  actually begins to worry that Cas doesn’t want to talk. But then the bond explodes back into existence and it’s an absolute fucking mess. There’s worry, pain, sadness, but there's also hope and love, so much love it burns right through Dean.

 

He feels, before he hears the tell-tale fluttering of wings behind him. He lets himself sigh out in relief, and he feels that same relief reciprocated in the bond. 

 

“Hello Dean”, he hears Cas say in his familiar gravelly baritone.

 

It’s the first sign that things are going to be okay, and after the emotional rollercoaster of today, Dean’s happy to take it for what it is. 

  
_ Forgiveness _


	22. Just An Us Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ~

 

For a long time Dean doesn’t really know what to say. He knows he should say  _ something _ at the very least, hell, Cas has pretty much left the door for conversation wide open. The thing is, Dean can’t seem to get any words to actually come out. His tongue feels like it’s made of lead and he honestly can’t tell if that’s because of his own embarrassment at having been so shitty to Cas or the sheer awe of realizing that Cas is literally carrying their son right fucking now. Cas, like the damn angel he is, gives Dean even more slack, offering to break the silence first. He’s tentative and shy, a soft air about him that Dean has never really seen before. His obsidian wings shift nervously as he finally allows himself to make eye contact with Dean,

 

“Dean,,,I-I want to apologize for my actions. It was selfish of me to not tell you about Cassius, but please you have to understand, I thought I was doing the right thing” Cas pleads. He hesitates, letting out a shaky breath before continuing, “It’s just that, with Aion and everything that has been going on, and now this...I was just, I just felt so--”. He trails off, eyes brimming with the beginnings of tears, but Dean doesn’t need him to finish, he can already feel it through the bond.

 

“Scared”, Dean confirms. Cas nods his head then quickly lowers his gaze in shame. That triggers something in Dean. Cas shouldn’t feel an ounce of shame for being afraid. Jesus, if Dean found out he was carrying a whole ‘nother person in the middle of this clusterfuck that Aion has dragged them into, he doesn’t know what he would have done either. No, Dean’s not  having that. Suddenly it feels like there’s way too much space between he and Cas. He wants to  hold his angel, God he just wants to make it so that he never sees that expression on Cas’ face ever again.

 

“Hey, Hey”, Dean cooes, “Look at me Cas”. When, Cas doesn’t oblige on the first try, Dean tries again more sharply. “Castiel, look at me baby, please” Dean pleads. That seems to get the angel’s attention.

 

“Look Cas, I said a lot of things back there that I didn’t mean. I was just, I was so worried that you didn’t want this anymore, that you didn’t want me--”

 

“Dean, how could you even think that I--” Cas cuts in sharply, hands reaching out to grasp Dean’s chin forcefully.

 

“I know Cas, I know. I’m an idiot okay?” Dean says as he grabs Cas’ hand, gently removing it from his chin and kissing the inside of his palm. “Look, I’ve always felt that I wasn’t good enough for you, and I’ve been fighting that like Hell ever since you and I started this thing, but I’m not perfect dude. Sometimes my dark side gets the best of me. And I can’t pretend that I won’t fuck up again, but Cas don’t ever think that I wouldn’t want you, that I wouldn’t want  _ this _ ” Dean says, as he presses his hand to Castiel’s heart, over the warm pulse of his grace, now accompanied by Cassius’ own forming grace-soul. 

 

Dean can feel the bond flare with warmth. He’s missed it so much,he honest to god whimpers at its presence, now beating warmly once more. Three days without it really fucked him up a lot more than than Cas probably realized. He doesn’t think he could ever try going without it again, doesn’t even want to entertain the thought. When he looks up, Cas is giving him that gummy smile that he’s only recently been able to truly appreciate when they are alone like this. Dean is learning new things about the angel all the time now. Like how he loves netflix and hates peanut butter. Or the way his eyes glow when he’s learning something new about one of the kids. Or how beautiful he looks when the bond flares strongly with their mutual love. How fucking beautiful he looks in this very moment. Dean would tattoo it on the inside of his eyelids if he could.

 

“Dean, Can I tell you something that I have never told another living soul?” Castiel asks timidly. Dean is reminded of a time that feels almost eons ago, where Cas fist asked him that same thing. Back when he was beginning to doubt, back when he wanted Dean to know that he wasn’t just a mindless hammer. He nods his consent, letting Castiel know that he’s all ears.

 

“I’ve always known I was broken. Even after Naomi would force ‘reeducation’ upon me time and time again, I just knew that I wasn’t like the other angels. I tried to hide it, I was afraid that the other angels would see my flaws, my cracks. The irony of it all was that I shouldn't have been able to  _ feel  _ that fear in the first place. Angels weren’t made to feel, but God did I feel, Dean. I felt so much It  _ hurt. _ But, I wanted to be the perfect soldier. I wanted to rise up through my garrison and so I hid who I was. I became the perfect soldier, or at least I pretended to be… for many, many years. I was so ashamed that I turned my back on other angels who were like me to some degree. First, it was Gabriel. I ridiculed him just like my fellow brethren did. Inside, I sympathized with his pain, but on the outside I pretended that he was damaged, a rogue. Then it was Anna, she asked me to fall with her that day, she knew I was different, but when she showed me mercy, I betrayed her.

 

“Cas, it wasn’t that black and white, Anna was--” Dean cuts in, but Cas holds up a hand, halting him. 

 

“My point, Dean, is that I’ve known that I was broken for a very long time, but then I met you. I reached out to you in Hell, and somehow you reached out to me too. I had spent almost my entire existence in heaven, feeling like I didn't belong, but in that moment--when your soul touched my grace-- I felt closer to home than I had ever felt in heaven. And that’s what this feels like now” He says, gesturing to where Cassius’ grace-soul bond lies next to his own pure angelic grace. “The more time we spend in flatland, the more sure I am that in some way this was meant to be. I know you do not believe in destiny Dean, but each day that I am with you and our children, and Sam, the more I am able to accept that maybe I’m not broken at all. Maybe, just maybe, I was meant for this all along. Maybe, I was meant for you.” Cas finishes.

 

And if Dean thought he was speechless before, he doesn’t know what the fuck he wants to say now.  But Dean has never been good with words, no, he’s always shown his love and devotion in the form of action. He’s shown it in obeyed orders and countless nights on hunts  for John. He’s shown it in protective gestures and selling his soul for  Sam, and now he wants to show it in kiss and touch and heat with Cas. He wants to show him just how much he was made for Dean.

 

He yanks Cas by the hair, pulling him in greedily as he crashes their mouths together. It’s a brutal clash of tongue and clacking teeth, but he knows that his angel can take it. Cas was made for him, fuck, they were made for each other, and this right here is no different. Dean grabs him by the back of the neck, tilting his head so that they connect just right, allowing him to lick deeper, to get more of that heady flavor that is so uniquely and purely Cas. Cas moans out wantonly, wings shifting frantically behind him. He full out keens when Dean reaches back and fists his hand through his feathers. Cas’ eyes snap open as he tosses his head back. His hands reach blindly down to Dean’s backside as he rolls his hips mercilessly forward into Dean. He’s making the prettiest noises as Dean ruts back against him, little breathy mewls that escape each time they line up just right. But it’s not enough, Cas wants more, Dean can feel it in the bond. 

 

“Dean”, Cas says, as he struggles to break apart from where Dean is now sucking a deep mark into his neck and shoulder. “Dean, I want to...please take me upstairs?”.

 

But upstairs feels like a hell of a long ways from here and now, where it’s hot and so very good. No, Dean wants him, right here, he wants him with a possessive need he doesn’t quite understand. 

 

“Not uh”, Dean whispers into his ear, hands creeping up to the back of the angel’s neck. “I think, I want you right here, just like this. Just mine” Dean growls, biting down on Cas’ earlobe for good measure. The bond pulses red hot with possessiveness and Dean lets it fuel him as he turns Cas around, pinning him over the the work station table. They knock over the previously set salt shells, but neither of them can be bothered to care. Dean has enough sense to yank off Cas’ trench coat and suit shirt. Buttons scatter across the room, but Cas doesn’t even seem minutely offended, if anything he eagerly wiggles out of his shirt, chest heaving with the force of his own arousal. 

 

Dean unbuckles Cas’ pants, roughly sliding them to his knees, before reaching back and unbuckling his own. He hums out in relief at the release of pressure previously put in place by his jeans. Dean keeps his hand on the back of Cas’ neck, marveling at the way his wings have folded in neatly against his back in submission. He’s standing stock still, waiting for Dean to make his next move, and Dean finds the amount of trust Cas is displaying to be an insanely potent aphrodisiac. Cas could crush him with one hand if he wanted too, instead he’s letting Dean take charge, loving him enough to trust that Dean won’t hurt him, And God, Dean almost chuckles to himself at that thought. He wants to do a lot of things to Cas tonight, but hurting him doesn’t even come close. Not by a long shot. 

 

Dean reaches up towards the base of Cas’ wings, remembering the oil glands that the angel used when he was getting Dean ready last time. He knows he’s found it  when he hits something warm, small and rubbery. He presses down, watching in awe as the warm viscous liquid coats his fingers.  Cas lights up like a firework, body arching backwards. He keens out loudly, before collapsing forward onto his elbows, head resting on the back of his hands. 

 

“Easy sweetheart, I’ve got you”, Dean whispers hotly against the back of his neck, hands rubbing gently between his wings. 

 

He reaches down with his fingers, parting Cas’ legs further with his own. The first tentative touch to Cas’ opening has him tossing his head back in a whimper. He hits Dean’s shoulder with a heavy thud and Dean lets him rest rest there as he pushes his index finger in . Placing a kiss to the side of Cas’ head, he lets him adjust to the unfamiliarity of it. Dean knows this must be overwhelming for Cas. Dean’s probably done this to himself about  half a dozen times a month and each time still feels different than the last, a brand new heady combination of sharp pleasure and the dull ache of the stretch. He wants to make this good for Cas, wants it to be something memorable, so he’s got to be patient. Cas may not feel as keenly as Dean does, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t be hurt in other ways.

 

By the time he’s gotten up to three fingers, Cas is an absolute wreck. Dean is pretty sure it has mostly to do with his  _ chatty _ tendencies during any kind of sex. If he’s honest with himself, he’s always been a talker. Nothing riles him up more than some good ol’ fashioned dirty talk, especially if he’s on the giving end of it. Cas seems to have a natural propensity towards it too, from what Dean can see, that and any kind of praise. Dean vaguely wonders if it’s an angel thing, if Cas inherently needs praise and direction, craves it like the good little soldier boy he is. He reaches back up, gripping Cas’ neck tightly as he removes his fingers. Cas lets out a high pitched whimper, wings once again folding inward in submission. Dean fucking loves it, groaning out against his fist at the sight.

 

“So good for me, Cas, so good” He pants.  He’s actually a bit surprised at how hard that makes him being that he’s always considered himself a more submissive partner in bed, always the sucker for strong willed frisky women. Yet, something about Cas, about this bond between them and about knowing that Cas is carrying his child right now, something about all of that shrouds his brain in a possessiveness he has never known. He wants to  _ claim _ Cas, to mark him up. He wants every angel, demon, god, whatever the fuck, to know Cas and their kids are his.

 

“Ready baby?” Dean asks as runs his hands through Cas’ feathers. “Just try to relax okay, and if you want to stop you gotta let me know” he says, waiting patiently for Cas to answer. Castiel, unable to do much more, simply nods his head in agreement. 

 

“Okay”, Dean says, more to himself than anything. He takes himself in hand, moaning at the feel of his own hand on his sensitive skin. For a moment, he hesitates, because he honest to god does not know if they’re going to fit like this. He knows in retrospect it’s a silly thought being that years of porn and Cas himself more than showed him just how many ways they could fit together like this only three days ago, but somehow it’s different being on the other side of things. But before he can think about it any longer Cas starts pushing back against him, the impatient bastard, and Dean is suddenly overwhelmed by the most intense pressure of his life.

 

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck” Dean hisses, because god is it good, suffocatingly good and hot and unlike anything he’s ever felt before, but at the same time the pleasure almost feels like pain. Cas is unbearably tight, even after three fingers, a fucking  _ virgin,  _ and that after thought there is enough to pull him out of his headspace momentarily, enough to remind him that he’s not just in this alone. One glance at Cas confirms Dean’s suspicion that he isn’t the only one needing a minute to adjust to the new feeling. Cas looks the spitting image of  _ debauchery _ . His hands are digging so tightly into the counter that he’s actually made indentations into the wood, the display of angel strength has Dean’s mind thinking all sorts of things. Dean gently rotates his hips, letting Cas get use to the weight of him, the fullness. Cas’ head snaps to the side, giving Dean a better view of his face. He’s got his eyes screwed shut, swollen pink bottom lip tucked between even white teeth. He moans out, rocking back to meet the grind of  Dean’s hips.

 

“That’s it baby, trust yourself, you now what to do”, Dean encourages, grabbing his hips for a firmer hold. After a few minutes he decides it’s more than time to kick it up a notch, he’s a patient lover, but the stand still heat of Cas is driving him damn near insane. He pulls back a little sharper now, forcing Cas to meet him a little harder as he snaps his hips up.

 

“Deaaaan,” Cas whines, eyes flashing open in surprise as Dean angles his hips to hit that special spot on every upstroke. 

 

“Fuck yeah Cas, moan for me baby. You look so good like this angel, so fucking perfect for me” Dean groans. He knows his mouth is running a mile a minute, spewing filth at Cas but he can’t help it, doesn’t even care to try. Cas tightens around him at that, the praise causing his wings to snap out and knock the end table lamp over. 

 

“You’re being so good for me Cas, but I think you can be better, yeah? You want to be better right?” Dean whispers into his ear, biting down sharply on the lobe as he tightens his hand around Cas’ neck once more.

 

“Yes, Dean, y-yes please” Cas pants out. 

 

“I think that my angel wants it nice and rough his first time, I think he likes it just-like-this” Dean says, punctuating the last three words with an unrelenting snap of his own hips.

 

Cas’ eyes damn near roll to the back of his head from where he’s turned his head toward Dean.  _ son of a bitch _ , dean thinks, of all the angels in heaven Dean has somehow ended up with the one with a kink for rough sex, lucky for him. 

 

“Tell me what you want baby?” Dean teases, slowing his hips to a tortuous speed. He knows Cas wants it hard, but something about making him say it out loud, something about hearing those words from an angel's mouth, and knowing that Dean’s the one who caused it sounds way too tempting to pass up. 

 

“Dean, I- please, just--” Cas trails off helplessly. His face turn bright red as whimpers pitifully. The guys got Dean balls deep and yet he’s still too shy to say that he wants a good hard fuck. Dean could almost chuckle at the irony if he wasn’t so turned on. He finally caves though, the thought that he’ll have plenty of time to teach Cas to ask for what he wants in bed satisfying him enough.

 

“Okay, okay sweetheart, I’m hearing you loud and clear Cas” Dean says, as he pulls out. Cas has the decency to look mildly offended, until Dean spins him around so that they are face to face, hikes his left leg  up and slams back home. And if he thought fucking Cas before was amazing, being able to see every expression on his face now puts everything else to shame. Blue eyes meet green and Dean never allows their gaze to break as he increases the brutal speed of his hips. 

 

Cas leans forward, resting his forehead against Dean’s as he pants hotly into his mouth. Sometimes he leans down for a kiss, mouth sliding sloppily against Dean’s, neither of them bothering to care.  Dean knows he’s getting close, he can feel it in the way pleasure begins to coil tightly in the base of his spine. He wants Cas to come with him, but he’s got to play his cards right, pull all the strings that get the angel going.

 

“Touch yourself Cas”, Dean demands, left hand grabbing Cas’ right one, leading him down to his own dick. He uses his hand to guide Cas’ into a merciless sharp speed, one that matches the punishing force of his hips. Cas’s eyes drop to where Dean’s hand rests over his own as they both stroke him. He whimpers at that, sucking in his bottom lip as his head falls backward. Dean’s not having that though, he wants to  _ see _ Cas when he comes apart on his cock, wouldn't miss it for the world.

 

He lets go of where his hand had been previously guiding Cas’ own. 

 

“Keep going”, He demands. He reaches up, griping Cas’ dark locks and yanking his head forward. He’s knows he's being rough, but Cas can take it, always has been willing to take all that Dean could give. Cas’ hips snap out wildly, rhythm beginning to falter with the beginnings of his own orgasm. Dean smirks wickedly at that.

 

“Look at me Castiel, I want to see you come for me. Come on my dick like a good boy” Dean growls out. He lets his hand slide down the back of Cas’ neck. Knows that as soon as he squeezes down it will all be over. Dean grips him tight, watches as Cas’ wings thrash out in pleasure, the only signal before Cas clamps down on him like a vice, ripping Dean’s own orgasm from him. The bond pulses with wave after wave of pleasure, happiness and love, so much love.

 

“I love you, I love you, I love you”, Cas babbles out against his lips as he comes, and comes and comes. Dean just keeps on fucking him right through it. He doesn’t think it will ever in, this insane explosion of pleasure between them,and at its core he can feel the familiar presence of his own grace somewhere deep inside Cas. They cling to each other, riding it out, until the white hot pleasure peeks and then fizzles out. When Dean recovers from his own orgasm, he sees that Cas has slumped against him, Dean’s weight and the sturdiness of the counter being the only two things holding the angel up.

 

“Wow” Cas says, voice soft with awe. Dean can’t help but chuckle at that, which in turn makes Cas let out his  own amused huff. “I didn’t know it was like that, now I see why you enjoyed it so much”.

 

Dean laughs at that, leaning down to kiss Castiel’s forehead. “It usually isn't, I don't know man , things with you are just so different. More intense somehow”, Dean breathes out.

 

“It’s probably the bond” Cas mutters shyly.

 

“Nah, it’s always been that way, even before the bond. I think it’s just a you thing” Dean smirks.

 

“Perhaps it’s just, an  _ us _ thing”, Cas says. He glances down lovingly at  his chest, where Dean has unknowingly placed his hand over where Cassius’ soul-grace lies. Dean smiles up at him proudly.

  
“Yea, maybe it’s Just an  _ us _ thing”, Dean repeats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, we are nearing the end soon, Shouldn't be much more than 3 chapters left, maybe a small flash forward epilogue. We'll see. Thanks for making it this far with me. It's been quite the journey thus far.


	23. The Ticking of the Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tick, tick, tick. Around and around it goes, around and around.

“Maybe we should  clean up  before we tell Sam and the others to come back” Dean suggests.

 

“Yes, perhaps  we should, we made a bit of a  mess”, Cas says, gesturing around at the salt rounds scattered across the floor and the now decimated work station that he had clawed through in a fit of pleasure. Still, despite the mess, he can’t believe how happy he feels. Maybe happiness isn’t the correct word for what Dean makes his body feel, makes _him_ feel, but he’s an angel so he thinks that might be a sufficient excuse for not being able to place the feeling. He’s been to earth many times, He’s even been human , but even so, the amount of experience he’s had with emotion has been  but a speck of sand in the desert that is his entire celestial existence. He knows he’s come a long way since he first met Dean, but Castiel suspects that he still has far to go. Afterall, Rome wasn’t built in a day, Castiel would know because he was there.

 

 

“I meant _us_ Cas”, Dean huffs, lazy smile planted on his lips. At first Castiel doesn’t really understand what exactly the issue is, they look relatively put together all things considered. But before his post-coital fuzzed brain can ponder any further, he’s suddenly hit with an obvious  answer.  He smells it, rather than sees it, angel senses picking up easily on the sharp salty twinge in the air. That heady smell that is so uniquely Dean coming from between his legs own legs.

 

“Oh…right” Castiel says bashfully, as he’s hit with another wave of arousal. Something about feeling the evidence of what they’ve done, of having Dean mark him inside and out, makes his head a little fuzzy.

 

“Yea, sorry about that. I know it’s not everyone's cup of tea, but I didn’t really think to ask when we were going at it”, Dean says. Despite what he’s saying Castiel notices that he has a dark, possessive look in his eyes. He suspects that Dean isn’t as sorry as he claims. He gives Dean a skeptical look, humor lightening his features. His suspicions are confirmed when a giddy feeling comes flying through the bond right before Dean starts laughing.

 

“Okay, okay, you caught me. What can I say dude, I’m only human. ‘Fucked out’ is a good look on you. Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean. Plus, I don’t remember getting any special treatment when the tables were turned”, Dean lears.

 

Despite his immediate desire to reject Dean's claim, Castiel can't help but admit that he's right. WHn they first made love, he had been so consumed by pleasure and blinded by an innate desire to show Dean how much he was loved in touch and caress, that he hadn't even entertained a scenario where he wouldn't finish inside Dean. He supposes that makes him a selfish lover, but in all honestly Castiel has always been a little selfish when it comes to Dean. The hunter was the first thing the angel ever wanted for himself, after all angels were supposed to be without want, they were supposed to covet nothing outside of God's love. But, heaven help him, Castiel did and so he selfishly branded Dean as his that day in hell, and he supposes he's never completely shaken the emotion since.  Despite his recollection, he does his best to maintain his resolve, but eventually like all things regarding Dean, he gives in and feels himself filling with the same giddy feeling. It bubbles up from where the bond rests deep in his grace and then spills out in deep laughter, one that Dean soon joins with his own. Castiel decides that he like this emotion very much. After a beat they both calm down. Dean wipes his eyes and tilts his head, regarding Castiel with a smile.

 

“What? what is it?” Castiel asks.

 

“Nothing man, I’m just...fuck I’m just so lucky”, Dean beams.

 

“Dean Winchester, I never would have guessed you to be quite the romantic” Castiel teases.

Dean’s cheeks burn red hot at that, and Castiel allows himself to mark this as a small victory in this teasing war they seem to have fallen into.

 

“Okay, that’s enough of all that” Dean says, frantically trying to recover. He hastily makes his way to the door. For a brief moment, Castiel worries that maybe he really has offended Dean.

 

“Where are you going?” He asks.

 

“To take a shower, and you... are going to join me” Dean says, pinning him on a hard green stare. Castiel can already feel arousal burning through the bond.

 

The angel  has never had trouble following orders before. He has no plans of starting now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

By the time Sam pulls into the driveway, the impala’s engine rumbling powerfully, all evidence of he and Dean’s “fight” has been cleared away. Castiel personally sought to it himself, especially after the merciless teasing he received at the hands of his own children last time.

 

“So I take it that you guys worked things out?” Sam asks as he cautiously enters the house, eyebrows raising in anticipation.

 

Before Castiel can even answer, however, Dean beats him to it, much to the angel’s horror.

 

“You could say that...I guess”, Dean throws out cockily  from the top of the stair case. And just like that, all of Castiel's hard work is undone. From where he stands, Castiel can see that Dean is bare chested, dirty blonde hair matted to his forehead from the shower. He puts his shirt on as he descends, but not before throwing a sultry wink at Castiel. If there was ever a time the angel wanted to truly kill a Winchester, now would have to be it.

 

“Ewww, Dean, just spare me the details, okay?” Sam says rhetorically as he shoulders the older Winchester out of the way. “Well now that things have been... _settled_ … more or less, let’s get back to the plan. I’ll text Cassius now and let him know the coast is clear”, he says as he holds out his phone, large hands surprisingly deft as he punches out letter after letter. Within a  few seconds after Castiel hears the beep of the message being sent, he feels the incoming grace of his four children.  He casually pulls Dean to his left, moving him out of the space where he knows his children will land. Dean gives him a baffled look, before Cassius, Mariel, Samuel and John appear in next to him.

 

“Hey Dad!” Cassius says, wide grin planted on his face and green eyes sparkling mischievously.

Dean nearly jumps out of his skin, and Castiel has to try exceedingly hard to stifle his laugh. Not hard enough apparently, as Dean throws him an annoyed look.

 

“Glad to see you guys are done fighting”, Cassius says teasingly, but then more seriously he whispers “We really do hate it when you guys get like that, especially Samuel”.

 

Castiel shakes his head in acknowledgement. He feels a deep pain in his chest at that. No one likes to see their loved ones fight, his mind flashes back to memories of the time when Gabriel disappeared. The heavens bombed with anger and violence as he and Michael argued, throwing words like daggers, when really Castiel knew that all they truly were was hurt that they were losing each other--all while an absent Chuck sat back and watched in secret.

 

“I know Cassiel,” Castiel says, placing a comforting hand on his son’s shoulder. “I’m sorry you had to see that, but please never doubt that your father and I love each other. So much so that we don’t always know what to do with that love. But rest assured, we will always work it out”.

 

Cassius nods his head, leaning in for hug. Castiel meets him eagerly, letting his raven wings rub comfortingly over his son’s own brown and white spotted ones. They pull apart, regarding one another for a beat before the sound of Dean’s voice catches their attention.

 

‘Where’s your bohemian boyfriend? Dean asks John. Castiel knows he is teasing more than anything, a bright smile painted on his lips.

 

John huffs out in exasperation, “Erebus is tracking Aion. He wants us to be as prepared for her attack as possible. He thinks that she may be coming within the next two days, but he wants to be sure.

  
  


As if on cue, Erebus comes crashing through the veil of existence. He slides across the hardwood floor, slamming to a stop against the wall. His body is covered from head to toe with cuts and bruises. Castiel immediately recognizes them  for what they are: battle wounds. Except this was not an even fight at all, no. Whoever the god came into contact with, was just toying with him, wanting him to suffer. None of the wounds are fatal, but they were meant to hurt, _very much so_.

 

“Erebus!” John cries out, as he drops to his knees on the god’s side. “What happened, who did this to you?!. I’ll kill them, I’ll fucking end them” John hisses as he cradles Erebus’ head in his hands. His wings are quivering with barely contained rage, eyes flashing furiously with green grace.

 

Castiel suspects that everyone knows whose work this is, even John. Perhaps, although no Winchester would ever admit it, they are all too afraid to speak her name. After all, nothing can entice fear more than the sight of a _god_ of all creatures defeated by an enemy they are expected to face any day now. Castiel thinks back to when Amara had nearly killed Chuck, and the overwhelming fear that had caused. Despite having been in this situation before, Castiel has never felt so hopelessly outmatched as he feels in this moment. Perhaps, now that his children are involved, there is simply more on the line, more at stake as Sam had once said. Only a few days before he stood proudly before his children, Sam and Dean as he gave a speech about victory and triumph. Yet, now, as he stands here gazing down at the pitiful sight that is Erebus, he feels like a fool. There is no way to win this battle, even with his rapidly strengthening grace. But for the moment, there is one thing he _can_ do.

 

He reaches down, placing two fingers to the god’s forehead. He sighs with pleasure as he feels the familiar healing channels of his grace coming back to life, like an old steam boat engine taking back to the waters after a long hard winter. To say that he’s missed this would be a terrible understatement. Angels are warriors, yes, but they are also  beings of light and love and resurrection. To heal is in their very nature, and having gone so long without being able to do so took more of a toll on Castiel than he had realized before this very moment. He watches with deep satisfaction as Erebus’ wounds begin to close over--first from open wounds, to scabs, then scars and then finally nothing but dark, smooth skin. He feels Dean’s pride shimmering through the bond, and he lets his gratitude flow through as well, opening his eyes to find Dean gazing at him endearingly.

 

“Aion…” Erebus’ whispers, breaking up the moment. Even though Castiel has healed his physical wounds, the god will no doubt need some time to recuperate from his brush with Aion.

 

“Yes, baby, we know” John cooes, but before he can continue, Erebus holds up a silencing hand, halting him mid sentence.

 

“She sent me back with this” Erebus says, holding up a scroll of ancient papyrus. “She caught me spying on her...said she knew I was doing it the whole time. We engaged in battle, but John she was strong, stronger than any god I had ever faced. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Aion has always been more of a wicked goddess, but she was still just that, a god. Now she is unrecognizable, the souls of purgatory have truly warped her, mind body and spirit. She is an absolute monster. When she defeated me, she told me that she wanted a message sent to you all. Of course, I told her that if she wanted the god of the shadow realm to be her messenger, she might as well kill me where I stand, but it seems like she had other plans. She threw this” Erebus spits as he glares at the parchment, “into my hands and then forced me back through the veil”.

 

John turns wearily toward the parchment. His fingers twitch as he reaches for the document, hovering over the wax seal. 

“Don’t open it Johnny, It’s an intimidation tactic. She’s just fucking with us, but it won’t work” Dean says. Despite his words, Castiel can feel a soft hum of fear leaking into the bond. And this, this right here is why he fell for Dean, why he defied heaven and hell for this one man. Because despite his humanity, despite his true feelings, Dean never gives up. He doesn’t deny being afraid, rather he forces himself to believe that he will always find a way, that in the end good will triumph. It is Castiel’s favorite thing about Dean. But while he normally would agree with Dean--as a strategist himself, he knows just how useful intimidation tactics can be-- in this moment he feels that reading the letter might actually serve them better than not.

 

“Dean, perhaps the letter will tells us when she plans to strike. If you and I have learned anything from facing stronger opponents, it is that they love to monologue when they feel they have the upper hand. At this moment in time, Aion believes that she has nothing to lose, so she may tell us more details in an attempt to add salt to the wound, so to speak”, Castiel offers.

 

Dean contemplates the line of thought for a minute. Castiel waits patiently, knowing Dean will eventually come around. Finally, he sighs out in resignation, nodding his head in approval.

 

“Yea...okay Cas, I hear you. John, go ahead and read the damn thing”.

 

John nods his head, shaky hands opening the crumbling paper.

_You Winchester’s never fail to surprise me. I can’t seem to tell if it is because you are persistent, or exceeding stupid. Although in the end, as I stand over your mutilated bodies, and the corpses of your abomination nephilim children, I will come to see that it was the latter after all.  The souls want you so very badly Castiel, they want revenge for what you did to them, giving them a teasing taste of this world, only to shut them away. Oh, how they rattle from within me, dark and angry. They tell me to peel the skin off your children and make you watch. They tell me to send Dean back to the pit where he can become a demon play thing yet again. An infinite list of possibilities, and I plan to make you enjoy each and every gruesome fantasy time, and time again, After all, I have nothing but time. I suppose I should thank you however, If it weren’t for the scorn the souls feel for you, they wouldn’t  have aligned with me so well. See, we have a common mission, them and I. And so even if you remove Mariel’s grace from within me--Don't be surprised little angel--Yes I know about your foolish plan because I know all things now, nothing hides from my sight. So you see Castiel, the souls will not destroy me for we have become bonded in our insatiable hate for you. We are one in the same now. I am goddess no more, there is no name for what I am now. So for that  I thank you, and for this reason alone, I will bestow upon you my first gift as the new ruler of this pathetic little world. Tonight, when the clock strikes midnight and the veil between all  worlds and timelines is at its thinnest, I will come for you all. Consider this a warning._

  
A cold silence settles over the room as John lets the letter fall from his hands. No one moves, and Castiel cannot blame them. Then suddenly, all at once, every head turns slowly to the clock on the wall. Castiel feels a cold chill like no other run through his grace. The round face that stare back seems to taunt him: 11:59 PM, He watches in silence as the second hand ticks. Each sound echoing in his ear drum as if it were the horn of Gabriel sounding off on Judgment Day. _Tick, tick, tick._ Around and around it goes, around and around.  


	24. Swan Song: Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?"

_ Irony _ , that’s the first word to enter Dean’s thoughts. It flashes bright red, filling up the shadows of his mind.  He can’t help but be reminded of the fire engine lights that flashed so brightly, temporarily blinding his 4 year old self, the night he carried a baby Sam out of his burning home all those years ago. The night he lost his mother, and his life changed forever. Funny how one incident, one terrible decision made years before his birth, had such an impact on his life. One moment, one small blip in the time continuum and yet a monumental outcome. Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, then Angels and Demons and apocalypses that never quite happned, and now family, nephilim,  _ love _ . Infinite possibilities and infinite time, so much time, and yet--now, as they await the inevitable arrival of Aion--so little of it remains. So yea, irony is about all that he can think of right now. His thoughtful reprieve doesn’t last  long however, because within moments something catches his eye. His beer, on the end table shimmers lightly with vibration. First it’s faint, a barely there reverberation, but as he watches the vibrations grow stronger causing the golden remnants to slosh around angrily.  _ Boom, boom, boom _  Dean is briefly reminded of the classic Jurassic Park glass of water scene, signalling the entrance of one serous pissed of T-Rex

 

He supposes this situation is a lot like that, only Dean seriously wishes that his problems were limited to a prehistoric reptile and not a omnipotent hellbent goddess coming for he and his family’s hide. 

 

“Daaaaaad”, Samuel warns, voice cracking from fear. “We have company, like a shit ton of company”. 

 

And that’s when Dean notices it, the source of the sound isn’t coming from one large mass, it’s coming from multiple moving objects, like something out of the Lord of the Rings.

 

“An army!” Castiel growls out, wings snapping out in anger. “Cassius, can you throw a a barrier up around the house, we need to ‘buy time’ as they say. 

 

“Yea, I mean I think I can Pop, but jesus we’re talking about a fucking army! Last time in Hell, I could barely hold of a hundred demons, and from the looks of it there’s got to be thousands of undead trojans heading our way” Cassius shrieks, blue eyes shining with anxiety.

 

“Cassie, combine with me !” Mariel yells. I think I get it now. Look you and I have always been opposites. I’ve always had too much of a connection with my grace, and you’ve never had enough. Maybe, if we combined we can control it, use it to our advantage. 

 

“Mar”, Cassius says apprehensively, looking away at the approaching army, before glancing back nervously at his sister. We don’t know what could happen, what if it doesn’t work? What if you burn out your grace instead. We--we’ve just got you back, I don’t want to lose you again".

 

Mariel’s emerald eyes soften at that. She walks to where Cassius stands, shoulders hunched and wings wrapped around himself in insecurity. She takes his hand gently into her own, raven wings rubbing comfortingly into her older brother’s brown spotted ones.

 

“Cassius, you will lose a lot more than me, right here, right now, if we don’t at least try”, She says. “Trust me, trust yourself. We can do this”.

 

Cassius’ eyes widen for a brief moment, face painted in shock, as if he hadn’t been expecting someone else to have so much faith in his abilities. He quickly recovers, giving Mariel a brief but hard nod. “Okay… Okay, let’s do it”.

  
  


Taking Mariel’s hand once again, Cassius lets his grace channels open. For a moment he feels too open, raw like an exposed nerve, but then he feels the warm familial approach of Mariel’s grace connecting and merging with his own. Her grace feels strong and confident. In a way Cassius has never known. He feels fearless for once, capable even, but most importantly he feels supported. Mariel’s got his back. They can do this.

 

The house rattles now with the force of thousands of approaching footsteps. Dean can finally see what it is that Cas and his children could see miles out. There are thousands of soldiers, all in various stages of decay. Just like before, Dean suspects that Aion has summoned them from different eras: Romans, Greeks, Persian, Trojans,and so on. Warriors of all times reawakened from their eternal slumber for Aion’s own selfish mission. Dean almost pities them, they served their time, fought their battles,  _ earned _ their rest, and yet there really is no peace when you are done.  _ Thanks for nothing Kansas _ Dean thinks.  He glances over to where Cassius and Mariel stand, hands linked. He doesn't want to be pushy but he they don’t have much more time to fuck around. If they are gonna make some magic happen, it needs to be right the hell now. 

 

“Don’t hold back, wild card. Let go” Cassius whispers to Mariel  encouragingly. And for once she doesn’t.

 

The grace that She feels within, rushes out like water from a dam, like wild beasts that have been held in captivity for far too long. Her grace, like all things nature, seeks freedom. Mariel has been shackled all  her life, barred from exploring her full potential. Memories of both her father’s voices flood her mind’s eye now, warning about her grace.

 

Castiel’s voice in enochian: _ ‘Mariel, you must control your emotions for they are linked to your grace, you are stronger than you know En Olapireta, my light’. _

 

Then Dean’s: ‘ _ Mar, breathe’,  _ He would say as he would hold her small shaking hands in his own large strong ones, voice soothing as her grace threatened to spill out. _ ‘You don’t want to lose control again right?’ _

 

All those years spent living in fear of herself, of what she was. Her parents never meant to instill that sense of ‘other’ in her. They only wanted her to be safe, but in doing so they also inadvertently taught her that she was something to be feared, even by her own self. But now, there is none of that. No fear, no rejection, no otherness, now she is wild and free. In a weird sense of irony, she suspects Cassius must be feeling the same, only on the opposite end of the spectrum. She was too much, he was not enough, but now they are somewhere in the middle. She closes her eyes, knows without looking that her brother is doing the same, and with that she doesn't hold back anymore.

 

Dean watches as a powerful wall of grace erupts from Cassius. It covers the whole house in an impressive display, iridescent blues and purples and greens, and extension of his and Mariels grace. But it doesn’t just stop at the house, no, it continues, pushing onward and meeting the soldiers where they march. It crashes through the powerfully, incinerating everything it comes with on contact. Dean watches as more than 3/4ths of the army goes, crumbling and burning on impact. Finally the grace bubbles outward, before retracting back in toward Cassius, stopping once again outside the perimeter of the house. 

 

“Holy shit”, John says in awe. 

 

“Yeah,” Sam huffs, chest puffing up and then shrinking with a quick exhale. He runs a shaky hand through his shoulder length hair, giving Dean a brief once over before looking back at his nephew. “You could say that again”. 

 

“Think you can hold up this one on your own” Mariel asks Cassius, referencing the smaller force field surrounding the house.

 

Cassius lets one of his signature shit eating grins slip loose “Oh, hell yea” he says, holding up his fist for Mariel to bump. 

 

She lets out an amused sigh, “You're so much like dad, it makes me sick” she says before indulging him and bumping his fist with her own.

  
  


“Great work you two, but now that we’ve bought some time, let's get into gear yeah?” Sam says.”Dean come with me, there's an artillery in the basement, it’s time to load up. The rest of ya’ll need to gear up too, get your angel blades out.” Sam grabs Dean by the arm, roughly ushering him toward the basement steps. He stops short of the door, turning to Cas as if hit with an afterthought. 

 

“Oh, and Cas. You might want to make a trip to the bunker. There’s something there that your future self kept for safekeeping. I think it might be time to dust it off. Samuel knows what I mean, show him the way kid” Sam tells his nephew.

 

“Uncle Sammy, we’re busting  _ it _ out?! Yes!” Samuel whoops. 

 

“Show him Samuel, and hurry back” Sam commands  before leaving a confused Castiel behind and shoving an equally confused Dean down the basement steps.

 

“Sammy, what the hell was all that about, what is Cas going to get? Also, where the hell is this artillery? I think I would have remembered one being down here” Dean grunts out as he stumbles forward, struggling to regain his balance at the bottom of the steps. 

 

“You’ll see soon enough”. Sam pushes in front of Dean, mumbling out a brief enochian incantation that Dean only partially catches. He thinks he hears, something that sounds like, ‘ _ he who calls’.  _ Than their last name and t hen maybe the word _ ‘reveal’. _

 

He learns that his translation skills aren't as shabby as he thought, as he watches a doorway materialize right before his eyes. Before he has time to even try to shut his gaping jaw, Sam flings the door open, pulling Dean in behind him. 

 

Now Dean thought the bunker had a nice artillery, but this here, this is like Willy Wonka’s fucking weapons  emporium , if ever a thing existed. Dean feels like a kid in a candy shop, or for the sake of the metaphor Augustus Gloop at the chocolate river. 

 

Sam runs over to the AK-47 that sits neatly on a steel rack. He quickly grabs it. Placing it on the metal table below he moves to the ammo dispensary, grabbing a handful of magazine clips and a black vest off the wall. He stuffs the vest pockets with more mag clips, before reaching for his option of side arm, a desert eagle VII and then slinging the AK back over his shoulder.  He pauses when he notices Dean gaping at him.

 

“Dude, what?” Sam asks, popping a mag into the handgun and pulling back the chamber to check for cogs. 

 

“What do you mean what? You look like fucking Rambo man, I’ve never seen you this loaded up since like… well since ever” Dean muses. Dean’s always been the big guns kind of  guy. Don’t get him wrong, Sam knows his way around guns as much as the next hunter, but he’s always had a more simple taste, going for a simple beretta rather than anything flashy. So to say that Dean's a little surprised is a bit of an understatement.

 

“Well, Eileen is a big guns kind of  girl. What can I say, things change man, you'll see the longer you're with Cas”, Sam smirks. Dean suspects he's right. “Now, you gonna keep looking at me or are you going to get over here and gear up?”

 

And well, Dean doesn’t need much more of an invitation then that.

 

Dean slides a locked and loaded m16 over his shoulders and pushes it behind his back. Then, he reaches for the hunter’s knife on the wall, sliding it into the side of his boot. Grabbing the thigh holster hanging from one of the shelves, he straps it in place before shoving his custom mother of pearl grips M1911 into the holder. Sam may have changed his gun taste, but Dean’s had this bad boy for years, the thing practically has his fingerprints embedded into its pearly white handle grip. He’s sticking to his guns dammit, literally. 

 

He’s just about to grab his sawed off shotgun when _ it  _ catches his eye. Sam finishes tucking his own hunting machete into the hilt of his belt when he catches Dean’s line of sight.

 

“Dean, no” Sam says, before Dean’s even got his plea out.

 

“Saaaam, come on! Dude if there was ever a time to use it, now is the time. Plus if I’m going to my death, I’m going out in style”. Dean whines. He knows he sounds like a child, but he doesn’t give a damn. Sam has denied him this for far too long, and to think it will be another 18 years before he gets the chance to ask again, is just plain sad. 

 

Sam lets out a sigh before shaking his head, finally he looks up at Dean, a smirk on his lips. Dean knows he's won. “Fine, grab it and meet me upstairs. Hurry. Dean”. He says, before bouding the steps back up, long legs taking the steps 3 at a time.

 

“Yes!” Dean whoops. He quickly grabs the large metal contraption, taking a minute to revel in the rightness of it all. “Come to daddy”, he sighs,

 

“Dean!” Sam warns from the top of the staircase. 

 

“Okay, okay, coming!” Dean yells back. He grins from ear to ear as he makes his way upstairs, grenade launcher in hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the end is nigh. This is the beginning of a 2 maybe 3 part ending. There will probably be an epilogue and then this wonderful monster of a fic will be done. Its been an amazing ride. I can't convey that enough. I've grown so much as a writer from the first chapter until now. You can actually see my writing style shift from the beginning to the end and it's all because of you amazing readers. I never in a million years thought I would have this many people read my fic. I was content to have even just an audience of one, so long as one person was willing to read, i would be willing to write. Anyway, I'll save my praises for the very end. There is so much I want to say. Stay tune. 
> 
> *Just as a disclaimer, I've never mention but all rights and characters belong to supernatural, I'm just playing in their sand box. *


	25. Swan song: part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I take everything I'm feeling, everything that matters to me... I push all of it into my fist, and I fight for it"  
> ~Sun Bak, Sense8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I took forever to update. I was in Thailand for a week and a half and then school started back up so I was so busy. Thanks for being patient and hanging in there with me. Anyway, there should be one more part to the swan song chapters and then an epilogue. We are nearly there!

By the time Dean gets up stairs, to say that he is late to the party is more than an understatement. John, Mariel and Cassius have already begun to congregate around Sam, respective angel blades manifested and at the ready in their hands. Sam is giving out orders, and Dean tries his hardest to pay attention, after all, it’s not everyday that you go to battle with a power hungry Greek goddess and her army of undead Spartans. But, no matter how hard he tries he can’t seem to focus on anything but his children right now. They look, well for lack of a better word, they look completely badass. Mariel’s got her long raven black hair pulled neatly into some kind of intricate braid. Dean can't help but be reminded of that vikings show he’s caught on TV one late night or another. Her katana style angel  blade gleams elegantly in the light and Dean thinks that it is fitting for his daughter. It is equal parts beauty and brutality. He notes that there is a custom made empty sheath strung across Mariel’s back. The sheath appears to be made of ivory and has the same exact line work design as the siding on his own custom M1911. Pride blooms deep in his chest,  _ Girl’s got style.  _

 

He also notices that John has his own double sided angel blade sharpened and at the ready. Dean thinks he looks a bit like Darth Maul because of it. His jet black hair is also intricately braided along the sides, leaving a top knot bun at the top. If anyone could not tell that John and Mar were twins before, they definitely could now. Cassius, is the least decked out, Dean suspects it has something to do with his shorter cropped hair, but he doesn’t seem to be lacking in the badassery department, not when Dean takes a look at his own angel blade. It’s an honest to God poleaxe, straight out of medieval times. The thing is huge, complete with a pointed spear at the top, efficient for both quick and brutal execution at a distance. Dean may be a 38 year old man, but every guy has fantasized about being some kind of medieval knight at least once in their life. It's partly the reason he enjoyed larping with Charlie so much. Dean looks at Cassius’ blade enviously before giving the grenade launcher in his hands a pitiful look, suddenly it feels somehow inadequate given the circumstance. Still, he shakes the feeling off, he’s waited  _ years _ to use this thing, and goddammit he’s going to enjoy every second of it. He realizes that this is actually his first time seeing Cassius’ blade, especially since the last time the kids had to summon them Cassius was bleeding out on Sam’s living room floor. Dean shutters at the memory. 

 

Despite the angel blades being, without a doubt, the coolest things he’s ever seen, they aren’t what really drew his attention to his kids, no. What really catches his eye is the elaborate design painted down all of their arms in black paint. Looking more closely he notices that all three kids have an identical pattern. Dean begins to realize that it is a crest of some sort, written in what he is pretty sure is enochian. 

  
  


“Dean!”, Sam’s voice cuts in sharply breaking him out of his reverie. “Did you get all of that?” Sam asks frustratingly. Dean knows that Sam knows he didn’t hear a word, that much is clear judging by the all too familiar bitch face being thrown his away. Still, It would appear that his brothers near saint like patience with him has not been lost all of these years down the line. Sam sighs out, before rolling his eyes and setting up to repeat himself.

 

“Okay, so here’s the plan. Our best bet is to stay within the perimeter of the house. If we go to far outside, we will be easily overwhelmed and separated. With all of us under one roof, we are in a good position for Cassius to throw up a force field if needed. Lets not make it more trouble on him by forcing him to create multiple ones, yea?” 

 

Everyone nods their heads sharply in agreement. “We will fight in twos. Dean and I will provide support from the roof of the house. We may have big guns, but lets face it, we aren’t the strongest fighters here. 

 

“Hey, speak for yourself grandpa!” Dean says petulantly. Sure, they are human, and Dean’s no idiot. He knows that he can’t exactly match up to a nephilim or a full blooded angel. But still the comment stings a bit. They’ve faced bigger dicks before and came out on the other side just fine, thank you very much. 

 

Sensing the shift in his mood, Sam walks over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Look Dean, I don’t doubt your capability, but even the best hunters know their limits and when to back down a bit. Plus…” Sam says, gesturing toward the grenade launcher in Dean’s hands, “ I don’t exactly see you using that thing in close combat”.

 

And well, Dean can’t really argue with that, now can he. He supposes Sam’s got a point. If things really get sticky, he can go down and join his kids, but right now having support from a higher ground could be an advantage. He thinks Cas would definitely agree.

 

“Okay, let’s do it”, Dean says.

 

Sam smiles at him before giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Okay, Mariel and Cassius, you guys will protect the north east side of the house. Stick together and keep each other’s grace in check. John, you will cover the western side”.

 

“Woah, Woah, Woah, hang on a sec. Uncle Sammy, you said groups of two. I’m not leaving my brother out there by himself. He can just join me and Mariel. Hell, I’ll be by myself and he can have Mar all together”, Cassius says angrily.

 

“Cassius, I would never leave any of you out to dry. You  _ know _ that. I gave John the western half because I know he’s never actually alone“ Sam says. As if on cue, Erebus bursts into view on John’s left hand side.

 

“No, he’s not” The god says in his deep baritone. He grips his own dual broadswords confidently. 

 

Cassius seems to settle down, seemingly satisfied with Erebus’ presence. 

 

“Uncle Sammy, what about Poppa and Samuel?” Mariel asks, worry etched on her face.

 

“They will be here soon, hopefully by now your brother has shown Cas the vault at the bunker. When they arrive they will cover the back of the house. I need him to be with your father. You all understand don’t you?” Sam asks, puppy dog eyes showing a hint of guilt.

 

Dean gets it completely though, and by the looks on his kid’s faces, he doesn’t doubt for a second that they don't get it too. It’s not that Sam thinks Samuel’s life is any more important than the others, but he is the baby of the family. At the end of the day, despite his maturity, the kid is just that, a kid, and inherently there is just this need to protect him. Cas is their strongest line of defense and so the most logical approach is to let him be in a position to protect Samuel.  

 

“They get it Sammy, we all understand” Dean says reassuringly. Mariel John and Cassius all nod their approval. Sincerity and relief evident on their features. It seems that pairing Samuel with Cas wasn’t just Sam’s wish after all. 

 

“Thank you”, Sam huffs out. 

 

“Alright guys, you’ve got your orders! Remember, stay close, protect each other and above all else…” Dean turns to the approaching masses of soldiers, where Aion marches strongly in the middle, “Fight like hell”.

 

With that, Dean watches each of his kids fly toward their respective battle stations. He’s fucking scared if he’s honest with himself, but not for himself. Dean can actually count the number of times he’s ever been afraid for himself on one hand. The most recent being when the blade damn near turned him into a Demon and when he first sold his soul all those years ago. But now, he’s afraid for something entirely bigger than him, more important than anything he’s ever had in his life--his children. He just hopes he can protect them tonight, God if all else fails tonight, he prays that his children’s lives will be spared. 

 

“Okay Sammy, let's go” He says, tightening his grip on the grenade launcher. From their place on the roof, Dean has a better view of Aion. He knows that Cassius’ shield would be more than enough to keep out Aion’s foot soldiers, especially with Mariel at his side. But, no matter how much Mariel charges up his grace, nothing will keep Aion out, not when she’s this strong. Once she reaches the barrier, she’s going to take it down and that is when the real battle will begin. Dean watches as the crowd begins to part, and Aion makes her procession through. 

 

God, he almost wishes that Erebus had been exaggerating when he had said that the purgatory souls had turned Aion into a monster, but now as she makes her way toward the barrier, Dean can see exactly how monstrous she is for himself. Pity is indeed a strange and fickle thing. Here is a women, a fucking goddess, who has killed his son and then his daughter and has ultimately made fucking up he and Cas’ lives her personal mission.  _ And yet _ , and yet Dean still feels pity for her. Even in her fury and deception she was beautiful by any human standard. He pictures the old Aion--Dark curly locks encasing smooth ebony skin, high cheekbones and full lips. He thinks of flashing eyes as orange and fierce as burning ember, but none of that is what he sees now. Instead, gray sickly skin, marked by blister and infection covers a bony frail frame. Her hair has fallen out in clumps revealing angry red patches. Her once flowing white robes are now tattered and hang loosely off her thin frame. She looks more like a zombie than the goddess she once was, more like a demon, more like Alistair had back in hell. Dean wonders if this would have been Cas’ fate, had he and Sam not chosen to help him get rid of the souls. If he feels pity for Aion, a being that has caused so much pain and misfortune in his life, he wonders what it would have felt like to see Cas turn into the exact same thing. Dean can feel physical pain blooming in his very soul just at the thought of Cas sharing the same fate as this dying shell of Aion.

 

“Winchesters!” Aion yells, her voice distorted and unnatural. It sounds as if a million people are trying to speak at once. Each soul trapped inside no doubt wanting to take control. She continues walking forward, only stopping once she reaches Cassius’ barrier. “It appears as though one of the nephilim has received quite the upgrade”, She says, smiling wickedly at Cassius and Mariel. “I guess in my own way, I did you a favor, huh sweet boy? I showed you Mariel’s true potential and in turn she showed you yours. How sweeeeeeeet” She hisses as she scrapes her nails along the edge of the barrier. “Mhhhm, You know this won’t keep me out don’t you? I myself have had a few upgrades as well”.

 

Dean watches with disgust as her skin ripples, something serpentine crawling below the surface.

 

“I will show you a new world, and because I am a merciful goddess, I will bestow upon you one last chance to join me” She says sweetly. “Give up this pathetic attempt to stop me. You will not, you can not win!” She growls out, clenching her fists in anger. Her mood swings have the hairs on the back of Dean’s neck standing at attention. 

 

Dean takes one look at Sam already knowing what his brother’s response will be because it is exactly what Dean’s thinking himself. “No chance in Hell, Bitch!” Dean yells back.

  
  


“You will come to regret those words Dean Winchester, But alas, time has taught me a valuable lesson. All Winchesters in up in a grave sooner or later. I think I would prefer much, much sooner!” Aion roars, as she slashes right through the barrier. Dean watches in horror as the a sickly black slime begins to crawl up the grace barrier, deteriorating it from the inside out.

 

“Kill them, Kill them all!” Aion cackles darkly as the barrier drops, Eyes going a smokey black. 

 

The undead warriors begin to swarm as if they were bees, pouring in from all angles. Dean allows himself to find a better angle, bending down on one knee as he loads the grenade launcher. The first grenade goes off like a firecracker the recoil almost enough to have Dean toppling over backwards. Dean watches in awe as it connects with the first mass of soldiers, sending decayed body part flying in all directions.

 

“Holy shit! Sammy did you see that?” Dean cackles. He turns to Sam with a nearly face splitting grin.

 

“Alright, alright fine, that  _ was _ pretty cool dude” Sam say, returning Dean’s smile with a smile of his own. Dean watches as Sam lets out round after round of led into the masses. He sighs with relief as Sam takes out a soldier that had almost managed to get the jump on Mariel. 

 

Dean lets off another two grenades, forcing the masses to break off into smaller more manageable parties. From there his kids and Erebus finish the job, slashing their way through with relative ease. 

 

For a while it seems that they have set up a pretty good strategy. Dean thinks that Cas would be proud. But soon it becomes evident that Dean isn’t the only one thinking that. Aion has apparently grown frustrated with waiting for their demise. She begins to make her way toward where Cassius and Mariel are making quick work of about 20 spartans. Aion looks like a women possessed, crushing and smashing through her own foot soldiers in an attempt to reach his kids as quickly as possible. Mariel seems to notice her coming, she pulls her katana out of the back of a deteriorating soldier before wiping the sword to the side, allowing black goo and guts to flick off easily. 

  
  


“Oh you want some of this bitch? I’ve been waiting for some payback all day” Mariel hisses as she twirls her Katana deftly in her hand. 

 

When their blades meet it is as if lightning has struck. Taking a double take, Dean notices that Aion isn’t using a blade anymore at all. Gone are the ancient golden spears she had summoned all those weeks ago when they first fought, now she uses gruesome black claws that have extended at least a foot from her fingernail beds. Dean watches as her tongue flickers out, forked almost like a snake. She looks even more grotesque, Dean guesses it has something to do with how much power she draws on from the souls. 

 

Mariel grunts as she narrowly misses a swipe of Aions claws. She allows her wings to propel her as she flips backwards to create more space. Aion closes the gap razor fast, grabbing Mariel by the throat before sending her claws through one of her raven black wings. Mariel screams out in pain, and the sound is almost enough to shatter Dean’s heart into pieces. 

 

Aion retracts her claws, preparing to strike Mariel again, but before she can make contact a second time a force field  of green grace sends Aion stumbling back. It isn’t enough to wound her, not by a long shot, but it gives Mariel enough time to escape. She retreats back to Cassius, left wing hanging limply at her side.  Aion, having quickly recovered, moves to strike again. Mariel crouches down low, allowing Cassius to run forward, using her back as a propeller he springs off and leaps into the air, bringing the axe down on Aion’s head. It connects with a sickening thunk. Thick foul smelling black liquid spews from the wound as Aion’s head hangs to the side, nearly detached. 

 

Relief blooms deep in Dean’s chest.  _ Holy shit, we did it  _ his mind screams, but his gut screams something even louder:  _ if it’s too good to be true Winchester, it is.  _ He watches in sheer horror as the muscles in Aion’s neck begin to mend themselves back together. Dean can see tiny serpent like creatures weaving themselves around muscles and arteries from the inside and he struggles not throw up. 

 

“Again!” Dean warns, “Cassius! Hit her again!” But his order falls on deaf ears. Both Cassius and Mariel appear to be overwhelmed by fear as they watch Aion’s head regain its place on her neck, as if it hadn’t been hanging by a piece of skin only seconds ago.

 

_Fuck I got to get down there,_ Dean thinks. _And do what, exactly?_ _The bitch just regrew her fucking head!_ , The logical part of his brain supplies. He knows in theory that Leaving his post is suicide. He knows that Sam can’t possibly hold back the approaching mass of soldiers on his own, but more than anything he knows he can not, _will not_ , stand back while Aion kills his kids. No way in hell. 

 

He moves to climb down off of the roof, but Sam grabs his shirt. “Dean, wait! You can’t, I need you up here”, but it’s too late. Dean leaps from the rooftop to the garage below and then to the ground, tucking and rolling as he pulls out his m1911. He unleashes a round of bullets straight into the heads of at least a dozen soldiers. He’s a man on a fucking mission, and god help anyone or anything that tries to stand in his way.

 

“Dad, Dad?! What are you doing?!” he hears John scream from somewhere in the distance. John follows Dean’s line of sight to Aion. “Fuck” he grunts. “Dad wait! We can help you”, he says even as two soldiers tackle him to the ground. Erebus turns, grabbing both soldiers by the neck and puling them off of John before flinging them 25 feet in the opposite direction. When he breaths out, brimstone releases into the air, his own grey eyes glowing supernaturally in the backdrop of night. 

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean can see that John is still trying to fight his way to him, to beat Dean to Aion, but no matter how hard he tries, the sheer amount of foot soldiers never seems to end. He and Erebus are swarmed, they all are and if they don’t end Aion soon they all will die, right here, right now.

 

Dean’s got Aion in his sights, he slides between the legs of one soldier, springing up behind him where he uses his hunter’s knife to swiftly remove his head.  _ Bet that won’t be growing back _ , he thinks triumphantly. He continues his procession, blood pounding in his ears as his vision goes nearly red with rage. The soldiers around him begin to drop like flies, allowing him to advance more quickly. He vaguely realizes that Sam is clearing a path for him, sniping off the surrounding soldiers one by one. 

  
  


_ Please let me get there in time, please let me be strong enough _ , Dean prays. He can see that Cassius and Mariel have both sprung into action now, but they are clearly on the defensive. They rotate between whose attacking and whose blocking. They work in synchronized but deadly patterns. A swipe of Cassius’ poleaxe here, a jab of Mariel’s katana there, but Aion deftly avoids them all, body moving at unnatural speeds even for nephilim. Mariel has brought out the big guns now, the last in their artillery. She letting off blast after blast of grace, the air around her warps from the sheer power. Dean can feel the heat as he approaches, yet still to their horror, Aion only absorbs the blasts. Her skin now taking on a hardened scaly appearance. 

 

She moving in for the kill, forcing Mariel and Cassius back into a corner. Dean knows that look when he sees it. He's draw out his hunter’s knife, throwing it with enough accuracy that it nearly makes contact, just nearly. Aion spins around, razor fast and catches the blade mid air. Her scaly hands and black claws wrap angrily around the blade, breaking it into two. Truth be told, Dean wasn’t looking to kill her, he’s not that stupid. He was, however, hoping to draw her attention away from Cassius and Mariel and in that regard he was very much successful. Aion begins to make her way towards him. Before Dean can even raise his gun, she has him in a powerful choke, suspending his body a foot off the ground. His finger scrabble helplessly at her hands. He winces as her claws dig into the sides of his neck, drawing blood.

 

“Let him go you son of a bitch!” Mariel screams, but neither her nor Cassius can make it past the wall of soldiers that have now formed between Dean and them. Dean can see Sam aiming his sniper rifle Dean’s way, but that's not what he wants, not what he needs. No, right now he needs his kids to be safe, and that’s where Sam’s concentration needs to be. He raises a trembling hand in the direction of Cassius and Mariel, hoping Sam will see him through the scope and know what he means. In 30 years, Sam has never not been able to understand Dean. They have always had this way, this silent way of communicating in a language just for them, just for brothers, and now is no different.  Dean hears the shots began to ring out as soldiers around Mariel and Cassius begin to fall. He hears shots behind him too and knows that Sam is also protecting John and Erebus.  _ That’s my boy, Sammy _ , Dean thinks as his vision begins to grey around the edges, And if this is how he has to go, saving his children, then he’s just fine for that. He only prays they will make it out of this alive, after Dean is gone. 

 

His heart beat begins to slow as death approaches. He knows this feeling very well, because he’s experienced it so many times before.  He thinks of Cas now. He feels love and happiness, but he also feels sorrow and anguish. He is sad because he and Cas will never get to be this, Sad for all the years wasted pussy footing around one another, sad because he never got to say goodbye.

 

_ Goodbye. No! He will say goodbye, one day he will say goodbye but it will be when he good and ready and fucking old! When they’ve had four fucking awesome kids. He will say goodbye but  not like this and not now! _ his mind screams. He can feel heat and anger and rage and love and hope and desire boiling from inside him, from inside his very soul.It burns hot and blue, it burns like grace, and it burns straight out the center of him and right into Aion. Dean can feel it traveling through the bond, out through his own eyes.  _ Cas, Cas, Cas  _ his heart sings as he lets their bond burn brighter and brighter until Aion drops him in a fit of pain. She recoils backwards, shock and pain evident on her ugly features.

 

“H-how?” She stutters out in pain. And well truth be told Dean’s just as confused as she is. Last time he checked he wasn’t an angel, but if he had to fathom a guess, he’d guess that tapping into Cas’ grace during his eavesdropping session wasn’t exactly a one time wonder. He allows himself to feel a bit of pride at that, but it is short lived. The grace was definitely hurt her, no doubt about it, but Dean thinks that it’s more like cutting the ear off of a lion. It hurts like a motherfucker, but all it has managed to do is probably piss the lion off more. Aion quickly collects herself. Drawing more on the power of the purgatory souls, her body begins to mutate yet again. She begins to Advance on Dean and this time, no matter how hard he tries, Dean can’t seem to summon an ounce of grace.

  
  


She places a foot on his chest, kicking him into the dirt and pinning him there. He struggles to breath under the weight of her, unnaturally heavy for such a thin sickly frame, but before she can crush him to death, something catches her attention. No, something catches  _ all _ of their attention.

 

“Aion!” A gracified voice booms from above. And Dean knows that voice, would no it anywhere.  _ Cas. _

 

Dean watches in awe as Cas hovers in the air, powerful raven wings propelling him about 25 feet above. Each wing reaches about 12 feet in length , pushing strongly through the air in a powerful procession of gusts. 

 

When he is satisfied that he has gotten Aion’s attention he allows his wings to snap close, allowing himself to plummet downwards. He lands just a few feet shy of Aion. Left arm back and right knee up, Dean can’t help but be reminded of the classic superhero entrances he grew up on reading about in comics. When his knee hits the ground it sends a seismic wave of dust and debris causing Aion to stumble backward. The immense relief Dean feels when the pressure of her foot has been removed from his chest is near divine. He struggles to regain his breath but as he takes in Cas’ appearance he finds himself struggling to catch it once more.

 

Cas looks like a goddamn avenging angel of Death. He is clad head to toe in shining silver armor complete with chest plate, shin and forearm guards. Dean can make out some sort of insignia on his breastplate, and he recognizes it as the same crest Mariel, Cassius and John had painted onto their arms earlier. He guess that it must be the angelic crest of Castiel’s old garrison. His old angel armor must have been what Samuel took him to get from the men of letters bunker. Cas looks absolutely beautiful and deadly, but most of all he looks confident, a new air about him that Dean has never seen. His eyes carry the weight of a thousand battles won, they carry the ballad of a soldier. 

 

“You are no doubt a full fledged god of this world, no doubt” Castiel says calmly as he rises from his crouch. “Surely, no one can stand against you” he says, laying on the flattery extra thick. If Dean didn’t know Cas so well, he might have questioned his tactic, But he’s seen it time and time again. Egotistical dicks love to have their ego stroked, and Cas is trying to coerce Aion into something so he’s got to tread carefully. 

 

“Castiel, so kind of you to join us. Have you come then to swear allegiance?” Aion slurs out in her soul warped and distorted voice. 

 

“Nothing would please me more”, He says, pinning her one a blue stare. He raises one dark arched eyebrow in her direction, tone dripping with challenge. “But Aion, you must prove to me, prove to yourself, that you are truly a worthy ruler. Surely if you are as strong as you say you are, than one battle would do little to stand in your way?” Cas offers eyes squinting angrily. 

 

“Hmmm, I suppose not. I would greatly enjoy breaking you delicate little wings angel and then letting you watch as I peel the skin off your lover first and then your children.”. Aion says in delight, forked tongue flickering out wickedly. 

 

“One battle then, just you and I. No more games, no more foot soldiers, no more leverage. Just you, and I to the death” Castiel says, purpose dark in his eyes. 

 

As if on cue, the soldiers previously  surrounding the house stop dead in their tracks, falling over as if lifeless and dissolving into ash.

 

“Alright, baby bird. We’ve waited a very long time for you. We’ve missed you so much. And when you die tonight, you will join us here again for all eternity” The souls whisper through Aion.

 

“If I should fall to you tonight, no fate would bring more joy” Castiel offers gravely. 

  
Dean really fucking hopes that Cas has got a plan. 


	26. Swan Song: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any given time"
> 
> ~ Mark Twain

 

If Castiel were human, he thinks, his heart would probably be beating profusely. He would probably be breathing frantically as well, breaths quick and sharp like the sting of a bee or what he suspects that might feel like. If Castiel were human, he thinks that he would be very much afraid right now. And in some ways he is. He can certainly feel Dean’s fear booming dark and cold through the bond. He can feel, to some degree, fear for his children should he fall to Aion tonight, but mostly he just feels  _ calm. _ Perhaps, choosing to fight Aion alone was foolish, but he knows it is their best bet, after all he is the most powerful at the moment. Before he arrived, Aion had nearly killed Mariel and Dean, and so if must sacrifice himself for them, if he must force Aion into fighting him alone, then it is worth it. 

 

If Castiel were human he supposes he would be afraid, but he’s not human. He’s an angel of the lord, a warrior, and as he runs his hands over the cold hard metal of his breastplate, feeling the enochian crest of his old garrison that lies there, he allows himself to remember what that was like. The feeling of battle is unlike any other. It is the calm before the storm, the storm and the aftermath all into one. For too long he has spent the better half of his existence feeling broken, less than his brethren. He knew that he was different, and he knew that the other angels saw this too. Castiel was the outcast after all, the one that  _ loved _ . And it was this peculiarity that followed him throughout his fledgling years. 

 

Castiel remembers having to fight to prove his worth. Some days he would push himself to the very edge of his grace, sparring nearly to the death with the likes of Dominions and Archangels just to prove his worth. Zachariah was the worst of them all, ironically it would be many centuries before Castiel would come to know just how horrible. He was small by angel standards and only a being  of the first sphere, a mere seraphim. Yet, he felt this innate need to prove himself, that he was being called for important work though he had not known what. In his heart, the heart that he was never supposed to have, he knew he was destined for something. For many years he thought that that something was divine in nature, some part of his father’s plan. He let this feeling guide him as he rose through the ranks, defeating enemy after enemy to the surprise of his brothers and sisters. When Castiel raised Dean from perdition, he was so certain he had finally found that something, that he had finally figured out his purpose. He had no inkling that finding Dean was only the beginning. Loving Dean, in the end, was his destiny. 

 

He smiles to himself, flipping his blade as he and Aion begin to circle one another, a wall of Aion’s soldiers creating a makeshift arena around them.  The bond between he and Dean fuels his grace, helping him to grow stronger every day. He stands here tonight before Aion, in his armor with shield in hand, as a throne. Two whole rankings above seraph. All the while he can feel the soft beat of Cassius’ grace growing within him, giving him one more reason to fight, one more reason to  _ live _ . His brethren could not have been more wrong, he thinks, as he allows his new found power to surge through him. Love was not his weakness. No, love was his gift. 

  
  


The first swipe of Aion’s claws nearly takes out his left wing. She is a lot faster than Castiel last remembers. He narrowly dodges the blow, lunging backwards  into a crouch. He quickly recovers. In battle, the fight is often one by the warrior who keeps his composure, or at least, the warrior who appears to do so. He lets her come to him. Aion is full of rage, of hate so thick that it mangles and warps her very body. As she releases swipe after swipe of her gruesome claws, Castiel notices the sickly black aura surrounding her. The light from his own halo shines brightly in stark contrast. They are like day and night, the two of them.  Castiel thinks about how similar the sun and moon are, and how similar he and Aion’s fate might have been had he not been saved by Dean.

 

Aion leaps into the air, arching high over Castiel as she aims to come down on top of him. He pulls back under the refuge of his shield. Pulling his wings in and making his body as compact as possible, he lets his gold shield bear the brunt of the attack. He hears the angry scrape of claws as they collide, but to his relief the shield holds. He whips out his right wing, spinning gracefully from his crouched position. He catches Aion in the leg, knocking her off balance as he throws his arm out, releasing a large blast of grace. Aion tumbles backward a few feet before using her claws as an anchor to stop her backward momentum. 

 

“Nice try angel, but you are going to have to try a lot harder that that to defeat me!”, She taunts through her multiplied voices. 

Castiel can’t help but agree with her there. He  _ is _ going to need a lot more defeat her, and the strategist in him knows that if it comes to it he will have to do something he may come to regret. He has a plan B, a kill switch but he hopes he doesn’t have to resort to it. She throws out her left hand, letting out an incantation Castiel doesn’t understand. It’s definitely not greek, that much he knows. He suspects it is an older language, one before his time. Something the leviathans inside must know. He wonders how much of Aion is really left in there. Castiel watches as a black metal spiked whip appears in her hand. She swipes it forward, Castiel makes to roll out of the way but she’s too fast. The .sharp barbs of the whip, catch him mid roll, wrapping painfully around his neck as she yanks him forward and then up, tossing him like a rag doll into the gravel on the other side of her. When he hits the earth he feels as if he has just been hit by a meteor. It’s been so long since he has felt physical pain like this, and for a moment it shocks him. There is blood dripping from where the whip is still imbedded in his neck, He can hear the soft  _ thunk thunk thunk _ of his own blood as it fails from his neck onto his breast plate.

 

He rolls onto his feet, bringing his shield down sharply over the whip, severing it into two. He allows himself a short rejoice in regaining his freedom, but it doesn’t last long. Before he can recover, Aion is already in his space, throwing out a punch that hits him squarely in the chest, crushing his breastplate inward. He hears more than feels the crack that resonates from within him, at least at first. He skids backward before staggering to a halt. And this, this pain right here, is when he begins to doubt. He shakes his head, trying to reorient himself. He can taste the fresh coppery tang of blood in his mouth. He hears Dean in the distance, yelling out threat after threat toward Aion. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Dean struggling frantically to break through the wall of soldiers separating them, but to no avail. Castiel can quite tell if he’s relieved or worried that the soldiers are pinning Dean down. In the end he settles on relieved, he doesn’t think he could bare as single second if Dean were here in this arena coughing up blood, if their roles were reversed.

  
  


Still he gets to his feet. He’s no stranger to pain, nor to being the underdog, and the battle is still young. He resets his stance, letting out a defiant growl as he crouches low in warrior pose. This time he doesn’t give Aion the chance to strike first. He lets out two blast of grace as he runs toward her. She blocks them easily, but Castiel was expecting, counting on her, to do so. The blast provides him exactly enough of a distraction to drop into a slide. As he ducks under the swipe of her claws, he pulls out his angel blade, and slices deeply into her side. He then flips the blade, driving it into the ground as an anchor and using it to stop himself mid slide. He propels himself onto his feet and brings the top of his shield down onto Aion’s head. Smiling at the satisfied crunch he hears. Still he isn’t finished. He knows he can’t let up now, no, he must see this through. Pulling back his shield, he places his other hand over her forehead. He feels his grace raging within him, building up from his center and out through his eyes and hands. He doesn’t hold back, pours everything he has into her her. The impact of the blast forces them apart, causing him to fly backwards. At the last second he regain his balanced, raven wings snapping out to stabilize him mid air. He watches as Aion flies backwards as well, body colliding roughly into the dirt. 

 

He sinks downward, exhausted. His grace nearly depleted. He feels ill, knows that he pushed his grace to hard, but as he watches Aion’s prone body he allows himself to feel a sense of triumph. As the dust clears, an overwhelming silence hangs heavy in the balance. He waits for a beat, angel blade tight in his grip, but when Aion doesn’t move he let’s out a sigh of relief. Castiel turns around toward where Dean is still struggling against the soldiers. He stops the moment he sees Castiel looking at him. Dean’s own eyes wide as saucers flick apprehensively to where  Aion’s lifeless body lays behind Castiel, and then back up to the angel himself. Castiel smiles at Dean, allowing reassurance to flow through the bond.  _ He’s done it _ , he and Dean can finally find their other selves and return home.  _ They can finally start their new life together _ , Castiel thinks happily. Dean’s face shifts from confusion to happiness. He lets out a bright grin, no doubt responding to the love and hope pouring through the bond. They stare at each other a little longer, enjoying the moment, but then a wave a sheer panic explodes through the bond snapping Castiel out of focus.

 

“Cas!! Behind you!” Dean warns, but in his heart Castiel knows it’s too late. He feels nothing but searing pain as Aions sharp claws  impale him from behind, straight through his chest. He glances down in awe, as we watches the tips of her claws poke out from his own chest. He lets out a groan as she lifts him up, forcing her claws in deeper before slamming him violently into the ground. He feels his head knock against the hard earth, causing his vision to white out and then nearly go black when she releases another bone crushing kick to his ribs. The sheer force of it sends him sliding backward nearly five feet. He immediately curls in on himself, hands scrabbling to cover his chest wounds as grace begins to spill out. 

  
  


“You fucking bitch! I’ll kill you! Do you hear me bitch? I’ll fucking kill you” Dean roars from somewhere in the distance. 

 

Castiel can’t bring himself to look in Dean’s direction. Partly because he doesn’t think he can physically move his body, and partly because he doesn’t want the last thing he sees to be the pain that he knows is etched on Dean’s features. Dean is beautiful, the fifth most beautiful thing in the world, and Castiel wants him to stay that way, at least in his mind. In an effort to avoid Dean’s gaze, he makes the grave mistake of connecting eyes with Samuel. Now more than ever, he wishes he were looking at Dean instead. The fear and pain on his youngest sons face, is enough to make Castiel wish he could die sooner, because that is what is happening here. Castiel is dying, he failed, and soon his children and Dean will pay the ultimate price. That thought alone hurts him in ways his physical wounds never could.

  
  


“Dean, Dean Dean”. Aion tsks teasingly. “When are you going to learn? When are you going to realize that we always get what we want?” 

 

Castiel watches through blurring vision as Aion makes her way over to him. She buries her hands into his hair, yanking his head back painfully so that he can have a better view of Dean. 

 

“And there isn’t a thing you can do boy. I own your children, I own you and now... I own HIM!” She says as she brings her foot down sharply over the main support bone of his right wing.

 

The pain he feels is unimaginable and despites his best effort to remain silent, not wanting to give the goddess the satisfaction of hearing his pain, he feels a scream, raw and bloody, tear from his throat. Castiel watches as Dean lets out a matching blood curdling scream of his own, grasping the back of his own right shoulder as he sinks to the ground in agony. He realizes vaguely that Dean is feeling his own pain through the bond they share, and somehow that makes matters all the worse. He prays to his absent father that Aion won’t catch on, but he knows it is in vain. The goddess isn’t stupid and judging by her wicked smile she has already realized their connection.

 

“My, my, two for the price of one” Aion hisses. “What a treat!”

 

She walks over to Castiel’s left side, out of the corner of his eye, Castiel can see her raising her foot. He knows what’s coming, knows that there isn’t a thing he can do for himself, but there is something he  _ can  _ do. He closes the bond before Aion brings her foot down, snapping his left wing in half. Castiel screams. He screams and screams and screams. But he allows himself some relief knowing that Dean will not have to feel his pain anymore, that Dean won’t be harmed.

 

“Cas!” Dean wails,tears streaming down his cheeks. He groans as he clutches his right shoulder, but to Castiel’s relief his left shoulder looks to be doing okay. “Cas! Don’t you close me out, I won’t let you be alone! I won’t leave you, you hear me?! I’ll never leave you!” Dean grounds out between clenched teeth. He paws helplessly at the earth as we tries to make his way toward Castiel.

 

“Dad! No!” Cassius shouts, he begins to struggle frantically against the guards that are holding him back. Samuel, John, Mariel and Erebus each begin fighting frantically, even Sam starts up his sniping from the top of the house but to no avail. Even from here, Castiel can see that they are outnumbered and outmatched. He doesn’t want his family fighting for him, he doesn’t want them to die for him.

  
  


“Get back” He rasps out weakly, then more forcefully “Get! Back!” He smells a familiar salty scent, and vaguely he realizes that he is crying. He realizes that now, in this moment, he is so very afraid. He can feel Dean attempting to reopen the bond, and as much a Castiel fights to keep it closed, he simply doesn’t have the energy left to do so. The bond immediately flies back open, and all of Castiel’s pain comes burning through. Dean immediately collapses back to the ground, groaning out in pain. Castiel tries his hardest to understand why, why is Dean doing this to himself? Why is he subjecting himself to Castiel’s pain, but the longer the bond stays open, the more Castiel thinks he understands.  _ Comfort.  _ Dean wants to comfort him, wants Castiel to know that he isn’t alone in this.  Castiel doesn't think he has ever loved Dean more than he does in this one moment, he  nearly sobs with the realization of how much Dean loves him back, enough to suffer a pain that should not be his. Over the force of the pain, Dean continues to send comfort and love through the bond, and Castiel lets it was over him. 

  
  
  
  


“Well, angel, all heroes eventually meet their demise, that’s why it is often best to be the villain”, Aion teases wickedly. She takes a moment, watching Castiel’s children and Sam fight off Aion’s soldiers. “You know, we had a deal Castiel. No tricks, no backup, just you and me remember?, and yet your family seems to see no virtue in valuing a warriors pact. I guess that means I don’t have to uphold my end anymore either” She whispers into his ear as she crouches down. Her forked tongue licks around the shell of his ear, causing him to shiver with disgust. “We are going to have so much fun with you angel”, the souls whisper through her. “First, you’ll watch as i tear you children limb from limb and then when your good and broken you'll join us in our new world as a slave to your new god. She delivers another bone crunching blow to his ribs, for good measure, before turning to her army. “Kill them! Kill them all, nice and slowly!” She commands.

  
  


“No!” Castiel cries out. He has to do something, but he doesn’t know what. He’s dying, he knows it, he glances down at the blue light that shines brightly from his wounds. His grace is dwindling fast. He can feel his sense dulling, his brain becoming foggy. In his hazy state, an idea, a memory flashes through his head like a torch in the night.  _ The kill switch! _ he thinks,  _ his plan B _ .  If there’s one thing he’s learned as a strategist, it is that the underdog’s largest advantage is often his desperation. His sheer will to overcome and to survive. Castiel must survive, if not for himself, than at least for the life he is carrying within him. But, it is also this little life that he must fall back on now. If he can get Aion close enough, he can draw on the power of the bond, his remaining grace, and Cassius’s developing  grace from within him, perhaps their combined power will be enough to defeat her. His heart hurts at the thought of using his unborn fledgling's grace force, because he realizes now that he is the reason Cassius grew up with such a weak connection to his angelic side. eighteen years down the line, this decision right here will be what results in a years of feeling inadequate, of struggling to hide his wings, and of self- hatred for his oldest son. Time really his a mysterious thing, no matter how much things change, there will always be some variables that remain the same. But, It all makes sense now, and the realization leaves him with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. Still, he knows he does not have a choice. If he dies here tonight, his children, by sheer virtue, will never be born, and Dean will die here with him.  Cassius looks up at Dean, making eye contact. Dean stares back, tears in his own eyes and nods at  him. Somehow, Castiel knows that Dean knows what he is going to do, and that single nod, that confirmation that Castiel isn’t alone in his decision, is enough to convince him that what he is doing is right. Castiel nods back, mouthing an  _ I love you, _ before turning his attention to Aion.

  
  


“Aion!”, Castiel shouts, sheer fury rattling the baritone of his voice. “Aion, you son of a bitch! Face me you coward! or have you no dignity. We are not finished here!”, Castiel hisses as he gets to his feet. His entire body screams from the exertion, but he ignores it. This is bigger than him now. He must be strong. He picks his blade and shield back up, clambering them together to get the goddess’ attention. “Face me, you false god!” Castiel shouts.

 

Aion turns on him angrily, the last jeer seeming to catch her attention.  _ Good _ , Castiel thinks, he just needs her to get a little closer. She storms toward him, forked tongue flickering out in anger. 

 

“You insignificant piece of filth!” she roars. 

 

_ Just a little closer _ , Castiel thinks.

 

“You dare talk to your god that way! I should have ended you when I had the chance, I won’t make that mistake this time!” 

 

_ A little more... _

 

“Do you know what it is to burn angel, do you know what that will feel like?” Aion threatens as she knocks Castiel’s shield aside, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him into the air. 

 

_ Got you... _

 

Castile smirks, allowing the force of he and Dean’s bond to flow threw him, drawing on Dean’s soul, the last remnants of his own grace and finally Cassius’ grace from where it grows inside Castiel, he answers smugly, “No Aion, but you will”, and then he lets go. His grace burns up from the inside out, encasing he and Aion in a flash of light he has never seen before, not even from an Archangel. The blue light bellows and then warps out, spreading several hundred feet in each direction. The soldiers that had been previously fighting with his family, scream before instantaneously turning to ash. Every last one of them. 

 

Castiel watches with a combination of awe, relief and dark satisfaction as Aion begins to crumble before him. She shrieks in pain, watching in horror as her skin begins to peel, giving way to bone that eventually starts to crumble. Castiel drops from her grip as her hand, that had been previously wrapped around his throat, disintegrates into ash. He lands on the dirt with a heavy thud, eyes never leaving Aion’s face, in her final moments he can see some semblance of the old goddess coming through. She looks afraid, and Castiel pities her despite everything. Everyone fears Death, no matter who you are. Castiel holds Aion’s gaze, until that two eventually crumbles. His grace fades out, before returning back to his center. He collapses onto his back in exhaustion, in the aftermath of it all. Just like that, Aion, the goddess of the eternal circle of time herself, the one being that had been responsible for so much pain, and yet so much love in Castiel’s life, is no more. 

  
  


_ Silence _

 

Castiel is vaguely aware of the the quiet that has taken over. Whereas minutes ago the area surrounding their home had been filled with the sound of battle now all that remains is the vacant sound of wind rolling inward from the plains. He feels someone’s hands on him, first on his chest than on his face, but he doesn’t know who. He feels his head being lifted up on something soft and warm, maybe someone's lap. 

 

“Baby, baby listen to me, hold on to my voice” the voice cooes. Castiel likes that voice, he knows that voice.  _ Dean. _

  
  


_ “ _ Yeah, yeah Cas it’s me. Stay with me okay? I need you to stay, Please, for me.” Dean says, through tears, his voice strained with emotion. 

 

“Dean, I… it hurts. I just want...so tired, I just”. Castiel mumbles weakly. 

 

“Yeah, baby I know. I know  it hurts” Dean says, biting back a sob. “ You know why? Cause I can feel it. I can feel you, and I know you’re so tired. I know you’re so tired of fighting, but I need you to be brave for me. Please, baby just fight a little longer. For me, for your kids” Dean pleads, cradling Castiel’s head a little tighter to his chest. 

 

Oh how Castiel wants to be there for Dean. he can feel the pain rolling off of him in waves through the bond, the heartache. But, Castiel just can't. He so tired, he just wants to sleep. Why can't Dean understand that?

 

“Sammy! God, Sammy what do we do? I can feel him, he’s slipping”, Castiel hears Dean beg frantically. 

 

“Dean, I-- I don’t know man. I’m sorry, I’m just… jesus I’m so, so sorry” Sam says, emotion heavy in his own voice. 

 

Although Castiel can barely see, the shadows at the corner of his vision creeping inward with each moment, he knows that Sam is there. He can sense him, just as he can sense his children and Erebus around him as well. He supposes, if he had to pick a way to die, this would be it. Surrounded by his family. He really can’t ask for much more than that.

 

Suddenly a flash of light dashes across his vision, he can feel heat coming from his left side. Somewhere behind him. He hears a soft gasp, and thinks that it might be Mariel.

 

“What the hell?,” he hears Dean say, but the voice he hears sounds strange somehow, more gruff. Like Bobby Singer’s had in his older age. To his confusion, Castiel also notice that the voice isn’t coming from above him like before, this time it sounds as if it’s coming from behind him, from the same area he felt the light generating from. 

 

“D-Dad? Pop?” He hears John stutter out. He turns to John, expecting him to be looking at Castiel, but instead his son is looking past him, behind him. He turn his head the other way, following John’s line of sight. He can just make out the shape of two figures, two males,  standing before the light. It looks not unlike the portal that he and Dean first came through all of those weeks ago when they first arrived in Flatland. 

 

One of the figures moves forward, crouching low into his personal space. Castiel blinks a few times, allowing his vision to focus enough that he makes out two very familiar piercing blue eyes, framed by a sharp jawline, high cheekbones and Dark salt and peppered raven hair. The familiar face of one James Novak. His face, but older.

  
That’s the last thing he remembers, and then darkness takes him. 


	27. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Up against, Good, Evil, angels, devils, Destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point? No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?"
> 
> ~Chuck

_“Poppa? Poppa stop pretending!”,_ a little voice says between fits of giggles. Castiel can feel soft tiny hands on his jaw, then on his cheeks. A warm breeze tickles his neck, brushing through his hair in a way that makes him think of Dean. He thinks he can also hear the swishing of leaves around him and the soothing melody of birds calling in the distance. He can feel the prickle of green grass where it rubs up against his thigh. The small hands cradle his face, squishing his cheeks together so that his lips puff out like a fish, then another fit of laughter. _“Poppa, wake up. Wake up sleepy head. Daddy says it’s time to wake up!”_

 

Castiel opens his eyes, only to be met by a pair of wide familiarly blue eyes. He blinks a few more times, trying to clear his vision, but finding it hard with the overwhelming sunlight framing the figures head. _Like a halo,_ he thinks to himself. He blinks a few more times, reaching up to wipe at his face, before sitting up. The child, a boy--now that Castiel can see more clearly--backs away slightly to give him room. They stare at each other for a minute, taking one another in. The boy, Castiel notes, doesn’t look a day over five. He has a smattering of freckles painting his nose and cheeks and a mount of wild black hair topping his head. He smiles up at Castiel with tiny white teeth, blue eyes fanned by dark lashes, and embodying all the wonder and amazement that only a child can. Castiel feels a familiar pull in his grace. He knows this little boy, perhaps better than this little boy knows him, at least for now. He sticks his neck out, angling himself so that he can get a better view of the boys back. Knowing already what he will find, the brown and white spotted wings, still surprise him nonetheless.

 

“Cassius” He says softly, endearingly. It’s not a question but a confirmation.

 

“Poppa!”  Cassius cheers back, small arms shooting in the air with excitement. He drop his arms to his sides defeatedly when Castiel doesn’t seem to respond with the level of enthusiasm Cassius had apparently expected. “Poppa, what’s a matter?” He asks softly, small face wrinkling in confusion. Castiel feels something warm and soft brush up against his arm, and realizes that it is the soft down of Cassius fledgling wings, reaching out to comfort him. He feels his heart twinge at his son’s effort to comfort him, even at this age. “You have a boo boo Poppa? Are you hurt?” he asks, tilting his head to the side as he regards Castiel. “I kiss it and make it all better!” He squeals happily as he places a soft kiss to the back of Castiel’s hand.

 

God, even now he looks so much like Dean, Castiel thinks. Especially his soul, so full of life and love. He smiles down at Cassius, turning his hand so that he can caress his son’s soft cheek with shaking fingers.

 

“I was, _En Nor,_ my son, but I think I am okay now” Castiel says. He reaches down, places a gentle kiss to the top of Cassius’ head. “I think I am okay now” he repeats, more to himself than anything. 

 

“Cassius! Hey buddy, come down here and play some catch with Daddy” a familiar voice calls from below. It is at  this moment that Castiel can see that he is sitting on a hill, underneath some kind of tree. Below, Dean calls up to them, only it is not his Dean. He looks like his Dean, but somehow he is not, somehow Castiel just knows. The Dean at the bottom of the hill waves his hand up, showing off a baseball glove. In his other hand he brandishes a tiny yellow glove, made for a small child and a small plush ball.

 

“Come on little guy, let your Poppa rest. He’s tired, cause he’s got a really important job. He’s carrying your baby brother remember?” Dean says proudly, he smiles up at them, green eyes shining like bottles in the sunlight.

 

“Sammy!” Cassius squeals with delight, as he reaches out with small hands to rub the flat of Castiel’s chest, where his grace lies. Where he is currently carrying an unborn Cassius. He squints in confusion, wondering why Dean would think he is carrying Samuel instead.

 

“That’s right buddy, so come on down here okay? That’s it, Be careful! Here, take my hand” Dean says, as Cassius walks down on unsteady legs. Cassius watches as Dean takes his hand guiding him the rest of the way down. He looks up at Castiel with a smile. Only his eyes don't quite meet the mark. It’s almost as if he doesn’t exactly see Castiel, as if he’s seeing something else in his place. “We’ll see you soon Cas”, other Dean says, before turning and walking out of his line of sight, presumably to the golden-green field below.

 

“It’s a memory” Castiel hears his own voice say to the left of him. “We left the twins with Sam and Eileen for the day. Dean and I thought it would be a good idea to take our oldest out for his birthday”.

 

He turns, following the sound to its source. There, sitting on a wooden stump, is himself. This version of himself is significantly older, a good amount older than other Dean down below. This, Castiel recalls, is the same face he remembers seeing before he lost consciousness.

 

Suddenly, he is overwhelmed with memories. A battle, then pain, so much pain, Dean crying, Aion crumbling to dust before him, then the  dying light of death. It plays like a movie real, flashing before his mind’s eye before fading out to black.

 

“Am I dead?” He asks his older self, afraid to hear the answer. He doesn’t want to be. As nice as this heaven is, he wants to live it, not just have memories of what could have been. He wants his children. He wants Dean.

 

His older self chuckles, before giving him a meaningful look. Castiel takes that moment to take him in. Even though he knows this figure to be himself, Castiel is still overwhelmed by how much he doesn’t recognize the angel before him. This other Castiel, looks confident, powerful even. Castiel can feel the wave of power rolling off of him. _A Dominion,_ he remembers Mariel saying all those weeks ago.  Yet all that stands in stark contrast to the outer appearance before him. For all intent and purposes, his older self looks entirely human. His hair has the slightest beginnings of gray running through it. His eyes, marked by fine lines, hold a wisdom that Castiel does not possess yet. He is wearing a well worn denim jacket with a plain black t-shirt underneath and a pair of tan denim jeans, dark brown combat boots laced up to his mid calves. His wrist, Castiel notices, are marked with various beaded leather bracelets. A lone golden ring adorns his left ring finger, shimmering in the rays of sunlight that cut through the trees above. A wedding ring.

 

“Oh” Castiel breathes.

 

“Yeah” His older self chuckles “Much has changed over the years. Sometimes, I still can’t believe it. Feels like a dream” the older angel says absentmindedly. “And no, to answer your earlier question, you aren’t dead Castiel. Although perhaps that should come as little surprise. You and I have always had a way with avoiding death I suppose”.

 

Castiel sighs in relief at that.

 

“I-I don’t understand. After Aion, I, I felt death's embrace. How di-”

 

“Well, when you defeated Aion, I suppose it broke the spell she had used to bind myself and Dean in whatever hole she had us held up in”. Other Castiel says, shrugging. “One minute we were trying to surmise a way to escape and the next we were back home, just like that. Although, I have to say, we were placing a great deal of faith in you and Dean”.

 

“Me and Dean?” Castiel asks. He has the vaguest idea that he’s missing something very important here.

 

Other Castiel breathes out, adjusting his seating on the stump.” When Aion first came for us, there was a battle. Naturally, I gained the upperhand, but then she managed to send Dean through some kind of portal. It was then that I knew I had already lost. You know as well as I, once Dean’s safety was jeopardized, there wasn’t much else I could do but surrender. Needless to say, he didn’t like that very much”.

 

They both laugh at that. “I suspect not, Dean is… Well Dean is Dean” Castiel says.

 

“That he is”, His older self agrees. “Well, before Aion closed the portal that would trap us, I managed to send out a new one, a new rift in the time continuum. I knew it would weaken me significantly, but I need it to target the only people In the universe I could rely on to stop Aion and to protect our children. I needed it to bring them here, to this exact time. I needed-”

 

“Us” Castiel finishes. His older self nods his head gravely. _It all makes sense now,_ Castiel thinks, eyes widening in realization. All this time Castiel had thought that the creature they were hunting before arriving in Flatland had somehow brought them here. Yet all this time, after all of this, it was himself all along. His future self had brought them here to defeat Aion.

 

“I know it is a lot to take in, but Castiel please understand that I had little choice. I needed to make sure that they were safe. I just wanted…” His older self trails off, throwing a hopeless look his way.

 

“Trust me, I understand. Now more than ever, I _understand_. I would do anything to protect my children, and I have only begun to know them. I’ve just barely tapped what it is to love them. So, I understand, and I can only imagine what I will feel for them when I one day become you” Castiel says, tears brimming his eyes. “I-I am grateful beyond words for what you have given me. You have shown me what it is to be an angel once more, what it is to be loved and to love in return. You have brought me hope when I had begun to feel so lost, but most of all you gave me a family. For that, I am eternally grateful”

 

His older self nods his head, ducking his chin to wipe his own tears. “Perhaps I should be thanking you. After all, none of this would be possible if we hadn’t rebelled all those years ago”.

 

His older self smiles down at him, and Castiel is reminded, not for the umpteenth time since arriving in Flatland, that time is indeed a very strange thing.

 

“ I told you earlier, this is a memory. Like I said, you aren’t dead, but you were very close to it when I saw you. I had to put you in this dream like state while I healed you. Mostly, I just wanted another chance to show you what can, and in time, what will be.” His older self says fondly. “But, I think it’s time for us to return now. Nothing is ever better than the real thing is it? And You’ve been sleeping for quite a while. I know _someone_ is very eagerly awaiting your return. You can feel it now can’t you, in the the bond?”

 

Castiel nods his head, because he can. Want and longing, love and hope. He can feel it all through the bond, he can feel Dean. He is ready.

 

He lets himself be lead, taking his older self's hand,  as the memory around him bursts into warm comforting light. The last resounding giggle of a young Cassius follows him, and the memory of a warm summer days to come, carry him home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Castiel wakes up, the first thing he notices is that someone is holding his hand. At first he think it is a four year old Cassius again, but then he is reminded that that was just a dream. When he looks down, he sees that the hand belongs to his Dean, who has a chair pulled up  next to his bed and is fast asleep on his lap.

 

Dean looks absolutely exhausted, as if he hasn’t had a single night of sleep since their fight with Aion. He absently wonders how long it has been since then. Castiel reaches down, carding a hand through his dirty blonde tuffs. Dean stirs at that, licking his lips before pushing more sternly into Castiel’s hand. Castiel feels something within him tighten at the sight of Dean, so unguarded and touch starved. A pit of anger forms within him at the thought of John Winchester and all he had denied this beautiful boy. He quickly adjusts, not wanting any negative emotion to flow through the bond. He sends feelings of reassurance and love through the bond instead , watching as Dean’s eyelids flutter before gently opening.

 

“Cas?” Dean breaths before sighing in relief. “Mhhhm, I can feel you again. The bond was so empty before, when you, when I thought I had lost you back there. It's been three days, felt like a fucking eternity though” Dean says, looking up at him, eyes shining bright with emotion.

 

“Sshh, I know my love, I know. But know this, nothing, not God, nor man, nor death could keep me from you” Castiel says, hoping that every bit of the conviction he feels inside is shining through the bond.  He pats the space next to him on the bed, scooting over so that Dean can climb on. He sighs out in pleasure as Dean takes his place next to him, head resting on the angel’s chest.  Castiel kisses the top on his head and again he is reminded of the young Cassius from his dream.

 

“Did either of our future selves have a chance to explain things to you yet?” Castiel asks, chuckling at the absurdity of the statement.

 

“You mean about Aion? Yeah, other Dean brought me up to speed. Man, I gotta tell you, I’m getting kinda tired of talking to my future self. Somehow he’s always a bit of a dick.

 

They both laugh at that, Dean’s head bouncing where it lies along Castiel's chest.  

 

“Man, our lives are weird huh? Dean says. Then more bashfully, “Bet you wish you went and bonded with some other guy or angel or whatever”.

 

“Dean” Castiel warns. After all this time, he still can’t believe that Dean can think so low of himself.

 

“Yeah, okay, sorry. I don’t know why I say the shit I say sometimes. I’m working on it though”, Dean says, placing an apologetic kiss to the back of Castiel’s hand.

 

“I know, as am I. We aren’t perfect and we have our flaws, but I’ve seen what this life holds for us. It is my genuine belief that two imperfect beings can still find happiness. I believe that with all my grace” Castiel says, linking he and Dean’s fingers together. He places their joined fingers over his chest, where Cassius' developing grace lies.

 

Samuel walks in a few beats later, dropping his ipad in surprise when he sees that Castiel is awake. Castiel would laugh at his son’s comically wide eyes if he weren’t so content.

 

“Pop! You’re awake!” Samuel whoops, jumping onto the increasingly shrinking bed. He latches onto the side opposite Dean, hugging Castiel entirely too tightly, but he doesn’t complain. “Guys, get in here! Pop is up!”.

 

The rumbling of feet signal the impending arrival of their other three children.

 

“Poppa!” Mariel squeals, smile bright, as she dives onto the bed, successfully crushing Samuel beneath hear. He squirms free, making space for her to fit more comfortably.

 

Cassius appears in the doorway, smiling smugly from where he stands. John walks in behind him, Erebus close to his side. The pair smile over at he and Dean. Sam clambers into his room, relief evident on his features.

 

“Glad to have you back Cas”, he says.

 

Finally, his older self and the other Dean join the group, tossing Castiel and Dean a knowing look from where they stand, arms wrapped supportively around Cassius.

 

His Dean smiles up at him, and Castiel thinks that this, this right here, is truly heaven.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You’re sure you guys can’t stay a few extra days? I would love for you to meet the kids, especially Dea”, Sam says, laying on what has got to be his strongest puppy eyes. Dean almost caves, but luckily Cas comes to his rescue.

 

“That’s a wonderful sentiment Sam, but you know that we can’t. We already know too much about our future for our own good. Besides, we really need to be getting back to our time. We have a lot on our plate back there as well.” Castiel offers solemnly.

 

“Right, right, I get it. You guys gotta make sure mom is okay”, Sam says.

 

Dean instantly feels a bit of shock, surprised that Sam knows about that, but the feeling is short lived when he is reminded that _of course Sam knows about that_ , he’s already lived through it. Dean is tempted to ask more about it. God knows he would love a bit of a blueprint on how to handle things with Mary--all the pent up pain and resentment and love, that is--but he refrains. Just one more piece of this futuristic puzzle he’s just going to have to solve himself, he guesses. Well, not just him anymore, he and Cas, now.

 

“Yeah, plus if you keep giving us all of these spoilers, doesn’t leave much fun for the rest of us, bitch” Dean throws out.

 

“Yeah, yeah” Sam says, and then after a pause, “Jerk”.

 

Dean smiles at that, “Alright, c’mere” he says, as he grabs Sam, pulling him into an embrace, like he’s done so many times before. And while he knows that he is going back to his own time and his own Sam, somehow he still feels a pang of sadness at leaving this Sam behind. From the looks of it, Sam’s feeling the same thing too.

 

“Take care of yourselves, yeah?” Sam says, as they break apart.

 

“Yeah, man. You too”, Dean says, clapping him hard on the shoulder before stepping back.

He watches as Castiel leans in, hugging his brother tightly before releasing him.

 

“We will see you soon enough"., Castiel says

 

With that, they turn to their children. One by one they each give both he and Castiel a long hug goodbye.

 

“Try not to fuck it up too much, okay” Cassius teases, throwing a shit eating grin Dean’s way. He scampers away laughing  when Dean makes a half aborted attempt at giving him a noogie.

 

“Thank you for Everything, it feels strange to say it, but we are all going to miss you a great deal”, Mariel says.

 

“Thank you for helping us, I’m going to miss you guys”, Samuel mumbles from where his face is buried in Dean's chest.

 

“Hey kid, what did I tell you, your dad always keeps his promises”, Dean says, playfully rubbing his hand through Samuel's shaggy blonde hair. Samuel beams up at him.

 

“Take care you guys, thank you for finding our parents”, John says happily.

 

“Thanks for helping us find them too”, Dean throws back.

In a strange way, these four amazing kids have helped he and Cas find the “parent” within  themselves too. Before Flatland, if anyone had tried to tell Dean that one day he would get to have this. This apple pie life, well he would have probably told them to stick it where the sun don’t shine. But today he leaves here with something he hasn’t had in a very long time: hope.

 

“Alright, you two, we don’t got all day” Other Dean shouts, feigning annoyance behind a genuine smile. Other Castiel walks up behind him, placing a chaste kiss to the back of his neck before walking over to where he and Cas are standing.

 

Dean sees his other self’s cheeks go red at the public display, and he throws his other self a “Ha” gesture just to rub it in a tiny bit more. To which his other self flips him the bird. _Nice_

 

 

_“_ Are you ready?” Other Castiel asks as he opens up a new portal back to their time.

 

Dean glances briefly at his Castiel. Cas is looking back at him likes he’s hung the fucking moon and Dean thinks he might never tire of being on the other end of that look. The bond flares brightly with mutual love and reassurance. They’ve got this. They’ve got each other. They are ready.

 

Grasping Cas’ hand, Dean steps through, leaving behind all the things that Flatland has shown them they will be, and taking with them all of what they have become. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell! It is finished. let me just preface this by saying that never in a million years did I ever think I would have this many readers! Your comments and kudos really kept me going. I had this idea bumping around in my head since 2014 and one day, I just got tired of imagining what it would look like, and I went for it. But you guys, YOU GUYS have made the story what it is today. I've always said if just one person was willing to read, I would be willing to write, and instead I got 100 plus reasons. 
> 
> As we go into the season 13 Hiatus, this has indeed renewed my love for this ship. I have to admit I had fallen out of supernatural halfway through season 12, but this experience has brought me back in. All, in All, I hope you all enjoyed the story. I wanted to leave some things kind of vague. That't why I threw hints in about Castiel eventually aging without going into to much about that. But rest assured, he and Dean are on the same wave length in term or mortality. I also wanted the ending to suggest that nothing is set in stone. Flatland has definitely shown them things that are likely to happen, but the future is really what they make of it. It is still in their hands and that was a comforting thought for me. 
> 
> Thanks for giving me the chance to write a BAMF Cas, cause i have missed me some old season 4 badass Cas. And thank you all for letting me play with my original characters and bring them to life. 
> 
> Anyway. I may have an epilogue or a time stamp depending on what people are still itching to know. But as the story stands, this is the official ending. Thank you all again! I can't say it enough. I have been inspired by so many great fanfic writers and I hope this inspires some of you to get that idea out there. Much love!


	28. Epilogue: Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.”

Dean loves this, loves this head space that only Cas can put him in. It’s quiet when he’s like this, his senses dull save for the prickle of pleasure-pain shooting up and down his spine from where Cas is pounding into him, hard and merciless. He’s vaguely aware of Cas’ breathing, sweet and warm over the back of his neck. The words he is whispering in Dean’s ear don’t really match with the speed of his hips, but Dean loves it all the more. Words like “beautiful”, “worthy” and “mine” cut through the haze of Dean’s mind like a ray of sunlight. It hurts, too bright at first, but Dean knows that it is only because he has spent the better half of his life in the dark shadow of words like “expendable”, “soldier” and “disgrace”. He knows that now, _Cas_ makes sure that he knows it every single day.

 

There’s a high pitched keening noise too now, and it pulls Dean out of his thoughts. That's another thing he likes about this headspace. No thought lasts too long here, and so he’s safe from all the things that often plague his mind. , Dean thinks the sound might be coming from him but he can’t be too sure. Everything is just background noise really. When he’s with Cas like this, nothing else matters but the intense pleasure that fires mutually through the bond. He can feel that Cas is close, or maybe it’s him. Maybe they both are, it’s hard to tell with the bond. Every Time Dean feels Cas hit that sweet spot an immense amount of pleasure shoots through the bond, only to be reciprocated back at him from the pleasure Cas feels as Dean squeezes down on him. It messy and hot and sometimes too much, but Dean loves that the bond is something only they share, something unique to their love.

 

He feels his arms begin to shake, threatening to give out  as he nears his third orgasm.  He drops his head between his shoulders, a long groan escaping from his mouth. He’s been in this position, on his hands and knees, for what feels like hours, but he doesn’t mind it. Some days they fuck quick and hard, and Dean has to think cleverly about how to get Cas off when he gets off. Some days, it’s soft and slow, Dean taking Cas apart in all the ways only he knows how. But lately it has been more like today, hot and possessive. The farther along Cas gets in term, the more possessive he becomes. Dean has noticed it more and more lately.   Really, it should be any day now that Cassius will be here, at least that’s what one of Cas’s remaining angel buddies said last week.  Dean can’t believe that Cassius will actually be here in their lives and not just a promise of the future. It has been eight months since they returned to their time, but In just a few days, Flatland will become a reality for them, and he and Cas will be parents.

 

He feels Cas’ fingers raking through his hair, a sharp tug , and then he’s pulling Dean’s head back toward him. It’s not particularly painful, but enough to get Dean’s attention. “You’re distracted, my love”, Cas grunts out into his ear. “What, can be so important that it is taking your thoughts from us?” he asks, pushing into Dean as deep as he can go. He slows his hips to a tortuous grinding movement that has Dean’s eyes damn near rolling to the back of his head.

 

“Us” Dean moans out. “I’ve been thinking about all three of us, how we’ll be a family soon”.  Cas whimpers at that, pressing a soft kiss to the sweaty nape of Dean’s neck.

 

“You’ll be such a good father, I know it. I love you”, Cas breaths into him. “ _I love you_ more than you could ever know”, he says, before grabbing Dean’s hips and slamming back home. That right there sends Dean right over the edge. .Cas  resumes his punishing pace, fucking Dean right through the aftershocks of his orgasm.  Dean looks down as the mess he’s made, mind reeling at how much has already collected there from before. That’s going to be a bitch to get out later, he thinks.. He tries his best to stay upright as Cas rocks into him, but he’s exhausted. They’ve been at this since the sun first came up, and as much as Dean wants to participate, he feel’s his arms give out anyway. He prepares himself for the faceplant into the pillows below him but it never comes. Instead he feels the strong embrace of Cas’ arm around his chest. Cas’ is like steal, holding Dean’s body up with just his right arm, and if Dean weren’t so spent, that right there would be enough to have him interested in a round 4. He feels Cas’ other hand gripped firmly on his hip. It hurts, in the best way and he knows that there will be bruises there later. Knows that when Cas is out later bartending at _The Family Business_ down the road, he’ll be pressing on them, thinking of this moment now,  as he jacks himself off.

 

Cas lets out another groan, no doubt sensing Dean’s arousal through the bond. He sinks into Dean one last time, and then he’s coming. Dean reaches back, rubbing Cas’ sides as the angel whimpers and shakes through the pleasure.

 

“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay baby”, Dean whispers as his hand trail back and forth over the sides of Cas’ chest.  “Feels so good” He moans out. And yea, okay, it’s really no secret by now that Dean Winchester might just have a bit of a kink. He hisses as Cas pulls out. Turning onto his side so that he is now facing the angel, he lets out a pleased sigh before pulling Cas into a kiss. It’s soft and sweet, which would honestly make Dean laugh considering what they just did, but instead he finds himself melting into it.  

 

Cas smiles at him as they break apart. He looks down at where Dean has placed his hand over his chest, right where Cassius’ almost fully developed grace-soul lies.

 

“You nervous?” Dean asks, moving so that he can place his head on Cas’ shoulder.

 

“I am”, Cas says, simple,  open and honest. Dean loves how easily they’ve fallen into this new life with each other. This new open communication.

 

“Yeah man, me too”, Dean sighs out. “It’s like, we’ve known it was going to get to this point for so long and yet, I don’t know. It just all feels so-”

 

“Big” Cas finishes for him.

 

“Yeah, Dean says. He reaches up, brushing a sweaty dark loc of hair from Cas’ forehead. “Will it hurt you?” he asks quietly.

 

“I suppose it will. Pain during procreation is a part of all life. All of my father’s creations that are able to give life must bare it. In heaven, it was quite the occasion to witness, the birthing of a new angel was always a joyous event. I’ve witnessed many fledgling births, but it is a bit worrisome to be on the other end of things.” Cas says. He reaches down to cradle Dean’s chin in his hand “But, this time I also have you, so I have faith that everything will be as it is meant to be”.  

 

Dean turns his head to the side, placing a gentle kiss to the inside of Cas’s hand. Sometimes it leaves him in awe at the way these same hands, which have killed goddess, broken  bone and held him as if her were a feather, are also gentle and soft and beautiful. He loves that Cas allows Dean to know this side of him.

 

“I meant what I said earlier , you know” Cas says, other hand rubbing up and down Dean’s back. “About you being a good father”.

 

“I know, I’m just worried that I’ll turn into him” Dean says, tucking his face into the crook between Cas’ breast and arm. Shame fills the bond.

 

“John?” Castiel asks.

Dean nods his head softly.

 

“I suppose it can’t be helped. Sometimes you will be like John. After all, he is your father Dean, but that doesn’t make you him. You have in you the good traits of your father too. Not just his pain and his heartbreak, but his love and his determination. You will be the type of father you want. So while you will carry pieces of John, you  will not become him, just as I will not become like my father. You and I are exactly as we were meant to be. No one can touch us here, this life will be ours.” Castiel says resolutely.

 

Dean doesn't really know what to say to that. Somehow no amount of words will ever be enough for conveying how Cas makes him feel when he looks like that.  Still, he suspects from the amount of love burning through both ends of the bond, that Cas understands anyway.

 

Thinking on Cas’ words for another minute, Dean snickers, “Shit, I hope you don’t become Chuck, that would just make things weird” he says teasingly. He feels his head bounce as Cas laughs with him. He looks up, wanting to capture the loose and so very human smile on his angel’s face.

 

 

“Well, anyway”, Dean says on a yawn. “I don’t know about you but I need some sleep. You going to put in some hours at The Family Business tonight? I’m sure Mom and  Sam could use some help keeping all those drunk and hungry hunters in line”.

 

“I think that would be a good idea. Sleep my love. I’ll be back soon”, Cas says as he gets up to shower.

 

Dean lets Cas’ soft smile and kiss to his head be the last thing, before the welcomed darkness of sleep takes him.

 

When he dreams, he dreams of summer days and a large oak on a hill, green leaves blowing lazily in the wind. He dreams of Cas at the top of the hill and he thinks, somewhere in the distance, he hears the laughter of a small child.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Dean finally pulls into the driveway of the Family Business, he quickly throws the impala into park. He makes to get out, but the flickering red “y” at the end of “family catches his attention. He regards the sign with frustration, rolling his eyes and scrubbing a hand down his face. He and Cas just paid the electrician to fix that last month, but Dean guess faulty work can be expected when you find an electrician through the hunter community. Still despite the hit or miss electric job, dusty wooden balcony, and ratty old pool tables, Dean feels a sense of pride. The Family Business brings back memories of the road house, and with that memories of Jo, Ellen and Ash. Dean feels his heart twinge at their memory, but he doesn’t try to shake the thought. Sometimes memories are worth the heartache, that’s how you loved ones stay alive. Plus, this is something that is theirs, something the he, Cas and Sam can call their own. They’ve earned this.

 

Since returning from Flatland, the hunting life has taken a bit of a turn for them. Turns out, when your boyfriend is a throne who is halfway to archangel more days than not, Demons, ghost and all things bump in the night don’t really seem so bad anymore.  Long story short, no one or rather _no thing_ wants to fuck with Cas. About two months into coming back to their time, Cas decided that starting a family would mean less hunting, and surprisingly, Dean found it a lot easier to agree with that sentiment then he would have before Flatland. He wants to be a good father, he doesn’t want to be John, and not being John Winchester means knowing when to put your family over hunting. So nowadays, He and Cas spend more time than not, providing a network for other hunters coming in and out of The Family Business, while Sam and Eileen team up on the more dangerous hunts. Sometimes he and Cas help out where they can on hunts, trying hard to hide their knowing  looks from Sam and Eileen but failing miserably.  Dean feels a lot like the token Bobby Singer  and well that in itself is comforting. He wishes more than anything that Bobby could be here to meet Cassius when he comes, but Dean likes to think that wherever  Bobby is, he’s proud of the father Dean  is gearing up to be anyway

 

The sound of clanking bottles shakes him out of his reverie. He looks up from behind the dash of the impala to find Sam taking out the trash. He watches Sam lift up the covering of the ruddy green dumpster before tossing the black bah in with a sigh.

 

“Think you missed some garbage there dude”, Dean says, gesturing towards Sam from the impala window.

 

“Ha-ha Dean, you gonna sit in the car all evening or are you going to come in and tend?” Sam asks impatiently.

 

“Hmmm, tempting but I think I’ll sit out here” Dean offers, shit eating grin planted on his face.

 

“That’s fine with me, Cas seems to be doing extra well in tips tonight anyway. Must be all the hunters trying to get in his pants”, Sam shrugs.

 

“Annnnd, now I’m ready”, Dean says as he hastily swings open the impala door and books it to the front entrance.

 

“Yeah, I thought so”, Sam calls behind him, matching grin now spreading across his own face.

 

 

The first thing Dean notices is Mary. From where he’s standing he can see that she’s making quick work of wiping down a booth, getting it ready for two hunters, a couple Dean things, who are eagerly waiting to sit. She smiles out them both before collecting the dirty dishes from the previous customer and turning to make her way toward the kitchen. She catches Dean’s eye as she does so. They regard one another for a minute and then she gives him a curt nod of the head, before speeding off to the kitchen. Dean sighs out.

 

“She’ll come around dude”, Sam says from behind him. “This is all just knew to her. Hell, being alive is still new to her, much less finding out that you oldest son and his angel are expecting a nephilim any day now.”

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Sam?’ Dean says, turning to face his brother, he crosses her arms over his chest defensively.

 

“Dean, look” Sam says, holding his hands up in a placating manner, “I’m not trying to make excuses for her, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad”. Sam lets out a full body sigh, large shoulders lifting and dropping on the exhale. “All I’m trying to say is that it’s kind of a lot to take in, even for us. Remember when you first told me about Flatland. All we knew is that you were missing for about a week, at least it was only a week on our end, and then you came back with stories about greek goddesses and you and Cas were together and then there was the whole baby  thing… I had a hard time grasping onto things myself. I’m still trying to figure it all out to be honest”

 

Dean expects that his face must show how pissy he feels, because Sam immediately back tracks.

 

“Look, I’m your brother, and you know I love you no matter what. Hell, you know I love Cas too, he’s family, and If I’m honest, I’ve known how you both felt about each other for years. I’m happy for you, so incredibly happy for you, but not everyone is me Dean. You _gotta_ give people time to come around on their own. At the end of the day, we are family, _Mom_ is family and trust me dude, she’s happy to have the chance to spoil another winchester baby around here. You’ll see, it will all work out, you just gotta be bit more patient”.

 

Sam is looking up at him with the Sam puppy dog expression that would have Dean cracking in minutes back when they were kids. If he’s honest nothing has changed now. He wants to believe Sam, but ever since he’s been back, he and Mary’s relationship has been rocky at best. They dance around each other, Mary wanting to hunt, and Dean wanting her to be the mom he remembers. More than that, he’s pissed at her. Pissed that a selfish decision years ago led to so much suffering for he and Sam, but most importantly Sam. She just doesn’t seem to understand that, and if she does, she doesn’t ever acknowledge it. Yet, now that he’s learned what it is to be a parent, he thinks that he might be in a better place to forgive Mary. Afterall, he doesn’t know if he would ever be strong enough to face Mariel, or Samuel or Johnny if he ever wronged them like Mary did with he and Sam. Being a parent doesn’t make you invincible to bad decisions, Dean understands that a hell of a lot better than he ever did before.. So really, Sam is right. Mary will come around, Dean’s just got to be a little patient, and perhaps a bit more forgiving. That way, at least he’s opening the door to the possibility to fixing their relationship.

 

“Alright Sasquatch, I hear you. I’ll give it time. But, for what it’s worth, you having my back means everything right now. I don’t know how I could do this without you”, Dean says, clapping Sam on the shoulder.

 

“Well, as long as I’m around you’ll never have to worry about that” Sam says.

 

“Bitch” Dean throws, smile cracking through his attempt at a serious facade.

 

“Jerk” Sam replies, not missing a beat.

 

Dean watches as Sam looks past and behind him, seemingly noticing something funny, if his snort of amusement is anything to go by. He looks at Dean, shifting his eyes and nodding his head in the direction behind Dean, encouraging him to take notice.

 

Dean turns to find a very frantic and red faced Cas, staring apprehensively between Dean and a handsome looking stranger seated at the bar. Suddenly a wave of embarrassment flows through the bond. Dean squints his eyes, tapping into Cas’s grace to get a better look. As his vision strengthens he notices that the man has written something down onto a napkin and is now sliding it toward Cas. Cas’ cheeks brighten even more, as he reads the napkin. _Son of a bitch_ , Dean thinks. This motherfucker is flirting with Cas.

 

“I told you we were doing well on tips tonight” Sam teases.

 

“Shut of Sammy”, Dean says, shoving him half playfully.

 

“Hey Asshole!” Dean bellows, making his way toward Cas.

 

Sam sighs, a smile on his face as he turns to wipe down another table, “Just another long night at The Family Business”.  

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Dean, I rushed home as soon as I could. How’s he doing?!” Sam asks, eyebrows already halfway to his hairline. He swipes a large hand through  his hair, letting out a huff before searching Dean’s eyes for a reaction.

 

 

From the looks of it Dean isn’t doing too well. His green eyes are marked by dark circles and his blonde hair unusually disheveled.

 

“Jesus Sam, it’s been about 4 hours and still nothing. What if something’s wrong? It’s not like there’s a road map for angel births”. Dean say hurriedly.

 

“Dean, just, just take a deep breath okay? He’s in there with Zoriakel right?” Sam asks, referencing to Cas’s angel friend who has become somewhat of a birthing guide for Cas in the past 2 months. Lucky for them, Cas still had friends among heaven after all

 

“Yeah, he is, but that bitch made me shut the bond with him. She said that it was causing Cas more stress to see me sharing his pain, and I get that, I do, but I want to be able to comfort him. He’s so scared Sammy. What do I do?” Dean says, tears beginning to to form along his eyelids.

 

“I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now Dean, but you and Cas have been able to comfort each other long before the bond was ever a thing. You just need to find that again. Go back in there and do the best you can, he’ll appreciate it no matter what”,

 

:As if one cue, another high pitched wail comes through the bedroom Door behind Dean. Dean nearly jumps out of his skin as he turn and sprints back into his bedroom. Sam quickly follows behind him, but when he sees Cas he stops in his tracks.

  

For starters, Cas is stark naked, Sam guess it’s for comfort, being that the angel is covered in sweat and also to keep the enochian symbols from the spell that are painted along the angel’s arms, chest and legs from smudging  Aside from that he looks to be in absolute agony. His raven wings keep shifting with each new shiver that racks though his body. His blue eyes are tear-filled and drift around the room aimlessly. He’s breathing hard, labored breaths broken up only by the occasional moan or mewl of pain. When his eyes land on Dean he makes a broken noise, reaching out helplessly to him. Dean runs to his side, without much though, Sam watches as his brother climbs up onto the bed, placing himself between Cas and the headboard, so that Cas’s back is now against  the front of Dean’s chest, Dean’s legs cradling his sides.. He allows his body to engulf the angel, gently placing encouraging kisses to the side and back of his neck as he brushes the sweat from Cas’ forehead.

 

“Deaaaaan”, Cas whines, body arching in pain before sinking back in exhaustion against Dean. “Dean, i-it hurts”, he keens helplessly.

 

“I know baby, I know, but you’re being so brave right now. You’re being so strong. It will all be over soon. I’m right here, you hear me, I’m not leaving you.” Dean whisper sweetly into his ear

 

 

“It is nearly time! His grace has begun the splitting process” Zoriakel says, excitement in her voice, “brother, you must gather your strength now, this will be the hardest part. She begins to recite an enochian incantation. As if on cue, Cas’s eyes begin to glow blue with grace just as the enochian words painted on his body begin to glow a similar blue. Cas grasps Dean’s hand, whimpering as the light from his grace travel downward and pools at the center of his chest, where Cassius own grace-soul bond lies. The light from the area begins to grow strong and brighter, emitting soft blue waves in pulses outward from Cas. Each pulse has the angel moaning out in pain as tears form in his eyes. Dean continues to hold him,rubbing his hands up and down Cas’ sides in reassurance.

 

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you”, He says.  Finally Cas emits one last pulse of light, this time, so bright that Sam has to shield his own eyes.

 

When he opens them, he sees that Zoriakel is holding a small infant in her arms. Blinking furiously to rid his sight of spots, Sam immediately notices that something is wrong. The baby isn’t crying. In fact, he isn’t moving at all. Sam turns to Dean, his eyes connecting with Dean’s own terrified ones.

 

“Wha-what’s wrong?” Dean asks, voice shaking with emotion. “Why isn’t he moving, Zoriakel! Why isn’t he breathing?!”.

 

“Dean...Dean, it’s okay. I-I know what I must do” Cas says weakly from where he is still slumped against Dean’s chest. He makes eye contact with Zoriakel, who gives him an encouraging smile and nods in understanding. “Bring him to me sister, please” Castiel says, voice strained from exhaustion.

 

When Zoriakel places Cassius into Cas’ arms, Sam watches as Cas leans down, placing a kiss to his son’s delicate forehead. “Welcome to the world, _En Nor_ , my son”, Castiel breathes and as he does, a single line of green grace travels from Cas’ lips and through the infant's small body. As if receiving a shock, the fledgling’s green eyes snap open, and he lets out a powerful cry. His tiny downy soft tan and white spotted wings begin to flap eagerly as he takes in the face of his fathers above him.

 

Sam watches the scene with awe, lifting a surprise hand to his face when he feels the warm wetness of tears. God, he looks so much like Dean, Sam can see it already. He looks over at Dean, whose own eyes are filled with tears. When their eyes meet so many words are exchanged. Things like, _I love you_ and _I’m proud of you_ , and replies like _I know_ and _I love you too_. The silent conversation that only they have ever been able to have.

 

 

“Cas, you did it” Dean says, kissing the top of his angel’s head. “God, you were amazing”. Dean reaches down, large shaking fingers reaching out to hold Cassius’ tiny hand. “Hey little guy, welcome to our world, we’ve waited a long time for you to get here” he cooes.

 

“Come meet your Uncle Sammy”, Dean says, as he waves Sam over. Feeling as though his legs weight a ton, Sam manages to clamber toward where his brother and family are seated on the bed. God, his  brother and his family. _His nephew,_ Sam thinks. That’s a thought he can totally get behind.

 

As Sam holds his nephew for the first time, he thinks that of all the destruction and pain they’ve seen, of all the death, if this was always meant to be the path that they would take then it was worth it. Death begets new life, and this right here feels a lot like a rebirth for all of them, a fresh start. A welcomed change. 


	29. Timestamp 1:A Perfect Landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're all in the car. I'm sitting in the driver's seat, dad's sitting shotgun. But there aren't any shotguns. There's no monsters. There's no hunting. There's none of that. It's just . . . He's teaching me how to drive. And, uh, and I'm not little like I was when he actually taught me how to drive. I'm 16, and he's helping me get my learner's permit. Of course, you're in the backseat, just begging to take a turn. We pull up to the house -- the family house -- and I park in the driveway, and he looks over and he says, "perfect landing, son." I have that dream every couple of months. Kind of comforting, actually."
> 
> ~~~~Excerpt from Episode 11.04 "Baby"

Dean stares out the window, letting his mine drift along with the whispy white clouds that wisk on by. It’s a cool crisp autumn day, the kind where the sun is out but there's a nice november chill on the horizon. These are his favorite kind of days. He lets out a content sigh , as a pine fresh breeze rolls into the impala window, caressing through his hair. He feels equal tranquility warming up the bond. Green eyes shift to the side mirror, catching blue. He can’t help but smile at the man who meets his gaze. Cas returns with his own bright gummy smile reaching out to card his through Dean’s hair, from where he is sitting in the back seat. Dean lets the touch ground him, loving how only Cas can make him feel this safe, this  _ loved. _ Well, not just Cas, not anymore. Of course there’s always been Sammy, but now there are four other people who make Dean feel more loved than anything in the whole world, and damn if that ain’t an indescribable feeling. His eyes drift once more to the back seat. Dean fights hard to contain his laughter at what he sees. Both John and Mariel are knocked out, folded over one another like origami cranes. Meanwhile, a ten year old Samuel plays with his toy dinosaurs where he’s sitting opposite Castiel, closest to the window. He, quietly utters growling sounds as a plastic brontosaurus apparently eats a T-Rex. Dean’s pretty sure that doesn’t seem right. He stealthily reached his arm back, snapping a quick picture on his phone.

 

“What are you doing?” Cas whispers, though Dean guesses he may already know if the mischievous smile on the angel’s face is anything to go by.

 

“Oh, no way in hell i’m passing this up”, Dean grins. “The next time these two fight, I’m totally whipping this bad boy out for blackmail”, he teases. 

 

Lately the two have been turning the house into a warzone. Cas and Dean have been wracking their brain for months trying to figure out how their twelve year old twins went from being practically inseparable, to barely tolerating two minutes in the same room. Finally, defeated and at their wits end, Dean went to the holy grail, and all encompassing guru of former teenage angst and currently reigning champion of  _ feelings , _ one Sam Winchester _.  _ And as Sam had provided, albeit in an exasperated tone, it was really nothing more than puberty. Go figure. At least the trip wasn’t entirely for nothing, Dean got to see Dea and Henry, and he’s always been a sucker for his awesome niece and nephew. Dea was about nine now and Henry a whopping twelve. They were truly amazing kids, polite and smart as hell too. Eileen and Sam had really done an amazing job with them. And while Dean loved both his niece and nephew equally, he’d be lying if little Dea didn’t have him wrapped around her finger. She looked so much  like Sam, it was almost eerie. And well, when a little girl has a case of puppy eyes meaner than Sam ever did, could Dean really have ever stood a chance? Hey, Dean’s no god, sue him. The visit had ended with Dea and Henry giving Dean his usual post visit sign language lessons while Sam, Elieen and even Castiel watched in amusement. Unfortunately, Dean must have missed the thousand year old celestial being, “ _ I know all languages fluently Dean” _ , angel gene that Cas possesses. Regardless, Dean would have to say he’s gotten pretty good, fuck you very much. 

 

Cas grabs the phone from Dean’s hand, shaking him from his thoughts. 

“You are insufferable Dean Winchester. You musn’t “stoop” to their level”, Cas says, hands thrown up in quotation gestures--a trait that the angel hasn’t never lost, even after all of these years. 

 

“Yeah well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, am I right?” Dean throws out.

 

“Not according to Dr.  Daniel Mcgailey,” Cas huffs, as if this is an irrefutable fact.

 

“Aaaand, who the hell is that?” Dean asks 

 

“Author of, ‘ _ The do’s and Dont’s of teenhood: a parental guide _ ’“  Cas says, eyes enlarging and tone matter of fact. 

Dean has to think of the super old regular, down at the family business, who hits on him every weekend to keep from laughing at the seriousness in Cas’ eyes. However, Dean knows he’s failed when Cas lifts and agitated eyebrow. 

 

“I’m serious Dean, Dr. Mcgailey is incredibly knowledgable. It says so in his biography on the back of the book's cover”, Cas mumbles, crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest.

 

Sensing the minor agitation through the bond, Dean turns all the way around in his seat so that his knees are resting against the back of the passenger seat. He reaches out to Cas, smiling when the he instinctively takes Dean’s hand into his own, placing a kiss to the inner palm. He knows that for some ungodly reason, these parenting books are important to Cas. And if it means something to Cas, well then that's more than enough reason for Dean to get on board. They both have completely different approaches to this parenthood thing, but it’s been 14 years and so far everyone is alive, not addicted to drugs and happy for the most part, so  at the very least, they must be on the right track.  What Dean has come to know is that there really isn't a right way to “parent”. People are more complicated than the books that Cas reads might depict, and while Cas may be hundreds of millennia old , Dean has had way more experience being human and living on earth. So he knows that sometimes the only way to be a parent is to just be, well, human, and being human means that sometimes you gotta fuck up. 

 

“Look baby”, Dean cooes. “I know this whole puberty/teenage thing is new territory for us, but we’ve been doing alright so far, right?”

 

Cas nods his head softly at that 

 

“ And trust me,” Dean continues, “ you can read a million books by Dr. this and Dr. that, but every case is gonna be different. We just go to go with the flow and see what works for our kids. And sometimes, we gotta have a little fun along the way too”, Dean say, throwing out a wink.

 

Cas smiles up at him, nodding his head again, more firmly this time. 

 

“Plus, you gotta admit this is an adorable picture” Dean says, grabbing his phone from Cas and holding it up for him to have a better view. 

 

Cas looks at it for a beat, fondness and love shining through the bond. “It is quite lovely, yes” Cas agrees. 

 

Dean feels a sudden drift in the impala, eyes snapping back to the driver seat, where he finds Cassius attempting to sneak a peek at the phone through the rearview mirror. 

 

“Hey!, eyes on the road kid, you better look out for Baby like your life depends on it” Dean chastises. 

 

“I just wanted to know what the commotion back there was all about” Cassius shrugs.”Seems unfair that I have to play chauffeur while you get to have all of the blackmail fun. I’m the oldest Dad, blackmail is practically my middle name!” he teases.

 

“Your middle name is Miceth, or wisdom as it is most closely translated in english” Castiel supplies , matter of factly.

 

“Yeah Pop, I know” Cassius chuckles. 

 

“Well, Mr. Chauffer, do you want to get your license or not?” Dean ask. “Hey, be thankful that Kansas lets you start driving at fourteen, most kids gotta wait until their 16. Besides, you’ve got a sick car and the best driving instructor in the history of ever. You’ll be passing your test in no time.” Dean winks. 

 

Cassius chuckles at that, flashing a smile Dean’s way. He returns a steady gaze to the road, only Dean notices that something seems off. The kid’s face screams feigned confidence, but his body language is screaming out all types of _ oh shit, _ and judging by the knuckle white death grip he’s got going on with the steering wheel, Dean knows Cassius is  beyond nervous. Looking at Cassius has always been like looking in the mirror. The boy is literally his spitting image. Dean sees his own face at fourteen, sees the years of stamped on fear in place of masked bravery, and he just  _ knows _ . If he and his son weren’t so alike maybe, just maybe Dean would fall for the facade, but Cassius is so much like him that it hurts. Dean knows that as the oldest, Cassius wants to set a good example for his siblings, show them that they have nothing to fear when it’s their turn to start driving in a few short years, but Dean sees right through it. You can be strong and still be scared. Fear is not a weakness. Its taken years for Dean to learn that on his own, and he doesn’t want  it to be 30 years before his son does. 

 

“Hey”, Dean whispers. “It's okay to be scared. This is new and there's a lot of pressure on you not to fuck up. I get it, but Loosen up on the wheel a bit. You are doing great kid, trust yourself.” 

Dean says reassuringly. 

 

Castiel reaches over as well, patting his sons shoulder in support, and Cassius practically beams at the praise, letting out a full body sigh as he relaxes back into his seat. 

 

The impala takes a right turn, making a break off the main road, and heading down the dirt path to their secluded, hidden away home. Memories of the day he and Cas first landed in what they once called flatland come flooding back as they near the driveway. It’s funny how that day, almost 15 years ago, this house seemed so strange and foreign to them, a shadow of a life Dean once though he’d never get to have, and now...well now it’s just  _ home _ . 

 

“Time is a fickle thing indeed”, Cas says, seeming to sense Dean’s emotions through the bond.

 

“Yeah, yeah it is” Dean says absentmindedly.  

 

The car pulls to a stop, the impala’s powerful engine sizzling and clinking along. 

 

Cassius let’s out a pleased sigh to Dean’s right. Dean is suddenly hit with a feeling, a reminisce of a dream he’s had many night. He lets that dream compel him now, putting into reality for his son something he’d only been able to dream about for himself, something he’d only been able to wish John Winchester had said to him in another life. He finally has that life now. He looks over at Cassius, eyes full of pride and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder he lets the words flow out of him.

 

“Perfect landing son”.

 

The impala' s engine shuts off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just felt like adding a timestamp today. I missed this fic and I wanted to revisit an dplay with the idea of Dean and Cas teaching Cassius to drive.


End file.
